Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The Weekly Radley - A Brief Lawsuit

From the sheer undiluted greatness that is Radley Balko, in reference to the Above The Law website.

It defies commentary. It can't be condensed. The entire thing must be read from beginning to end. Hit the 2nd link. Read the comment field at your own risk.

Aw, what the heck. Here's the opening paragraph:
Let’s get the boring stuff out of the way. Albert Freed (pictured) won a trip to Hawaii (not pictured). As part of the vacation celebration, Mrs. Freed bought her husband some new Hanes brand briefs. But Mr. Freed is a husky gentleman, and apparently the new trunks couldn’t contain all of his junk. He sued Hanes, claiming they made “defective” underwear.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, laughing out loud. I'm crying. What in the hell would possess someone to drag something like this into court? Here's some more:
A question for the guys out there: How long would it take you to correct a problem involving sandpaper and your ----? Don’t you think ----- chaffing is something that requires immediate attention and decisive action?
And while we’re here, how long does it take for you to notice your stuff hanging out where it is not supposed to be?
Please forgive me for not filling in the blanks. My mama sometimes reads this stuff.
Hit the second link. Imagine this guy in court. Imagine the look on the face of the court reporter.
I love being alive. I love the internet.
Here's that link one more time.


Anonymous said...

AAHHHH!! My eyes! My brain! I need bleach!!

And his OWN WIFE didn't know what size undies to get her spouse! Those two deserve each other. I just hope they don't have any children.

B Woodman

Harper said...

ROFL. Are there really people that uptight...that they won't examine a painful (gender specific) body part in the mirror?

TarrantLibertyGuy said...

Gentlemen - and women who buy underwear for their mates: I'm about to give you some detailed information which will serve you well in the underwear department. Go to Target. NOW! They close at 10:00... And get some C9 Boxer Briefs. Black ones are actually better.

These are the greatest undergarments ever made. The material is light, stretchy - and the snug, perfect stretch fit, gives new meaning to the phrase "A place for everything and everything in its place." (To borrow from a Yugo sales training video)

Chaffing is a thing of the past with 'long enough' legs... long enough to prevent stuff rubbing where it shouldn't... yet not too long so as to appear that you're riding in the Tour D'France.

Lastly, the slender styling and slick fabric tells the world: "I have arrived. And I'm not wearing pants."

Seriously. Go out and buy some. I have 108 pairs and I'm about to buy some more. Now, stop picturing me in my underwear.

The Whited Sepulchre said...

That's quite enough, thank you.
Please reference the B Woodman on the subject of eyebleach.