According to Wikipedia, filmmaker David Zucker was involved in the following movies:
Collaborative works (with Jerry Zucker and Jim Abrahams)
The Kentucky Fried Movie • Airplane! • Top Secret! • Police Squad! • Ruthless People • The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!
David Zucker films
The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear • Naked Gun 33⅓: The Final Insult • High School High • BASEketball • My Boss's Daughter • Scary Movie 3 • Scary Movie 4 • An American Carol
Kentucky Fried Movie, Airplane, and the Police Squad!/Naked Gun movies were greatness. Unless you saw them in the theatres in the late 70's - early 80's, you don't quite understand what a groundbreaking streak of irreverence the Zuckers and Jim Abrahams put together. No one had ever seen anything like it.
So last night, I decided to go see "An American Carol", David Zucker's latest film. I've been traveling a lot, and had heard Right Wing Radio incessantly peddling the movie. I understood going in that Kevin Farley plays a Michael Moore/America-Hater type documentarian. JFK visits him, and warns that he'll be visited by three spirits: George Patton, George Washington, and ummm....country singer Trace Adkins. Yes, Trace Adkins.
Trace Adkins.
But I pride myself on being open minded. Michael Moore is a pompous windbag, he's the worst thing in his movies, and a Michael Moore parody in the Scrooge role could be funny.
(For an outstanding demolition of a Michael Moore movie, click here to read Christopher Hitchens on Fahrenheit 9/11.)
My second warning came when I walked into the theatre. The ACLU's mental image of the Fox News Network's viewers? That's what the theatre was packed with. VFW vests. Wheelchairs. 45-year old husbands in polyester Sans-a-Belt slacks, with wives who still had Farrah Fawcett hairstyles. Granted, I was in Euless Texas, but still..... This was almost scary.
The movie begins with some Muslim terrorists trying to get a suicide bomber to explode properly. They fail. They decide they need a P.R. campaign. Cut to the Michael Moore character winning MoooveOn.Org awards for documentaries, but getting no respect or box office $$$'s. They terrorists recruit Michael Moore to do their movie.
In the meantime, Michael Moore is involved in a campaign to eliminate the Fourth Of July.
Later that night, JFK comes out of Michael Moore's TV set and tells him he's going to be haunted by 3 spirits. Kelsey Grammar does a good General George S. Patton. He shows Moore what we're fighting for, the consequences of defeat, and so forth. John Voight is George Washington, doing the same. And then Trace Adkins, well, whose idea was he?????
There's a big finale when Michael Moore prevents the terrorists from blowing up Madison Square Garden during a Trace Adkins concert. Depending on your opinion of Soccer Mom Country Music, this may not have been a heroic act.
Here are the problems with the movie:
1. It wasn't funny. The sight gags, a Zucker Brothers staple, weren't particularly well done. Most of the jokes only elicited nervous giggles from an audience that walked in the door wanting to love this movie. I laugh out loud during movies all the time, and I think I only snorted four times in 90 minutes.
2. The sound quality was bad. The vocal dubbing was bad. I couldn't understand a lot of the terrorist dialogue.
There's an anti-academic dance scene, where old tenured hippies burst into song - something about 1968. The lyrics may have been funny, but I'll never know. I couldn't understand them.
3. The editing was choppy. Some scenes looked like the actors were waiting around for someone to say "Action". There are limited special effects, but they seemed cheap. High School students shooting for YouTube have done more authentic explosions.
4. Trace Adkins.
5. Any time a movie relies on profanity from children for its biggest laughs, the movie is in trouble.
6. The previous Zucker comedies were hilarious because they were a) irreverent, and b) politically incorrect. I love political incorrectness. But the politically incorrect parts of "An American Carol" weren't funny. There's a scene where Dennis Hopper plays a judge who is trying to fight off ACLU zombie lawyers. The zombies, among other things, are trying to tear the 10 Commandments off the wall of his courtroom. And it just wasn't funny.
It's politically incorrect to mention that we're having to endure increased airport security because of Muslims. Yes, Muslims. (Please forgive me for speaking the unspeakable. But it really is because of Muslims.)
One scene in the movie shows airport personnel enforcing ludicrous investigations, body cavity searches, etc, because of Radical Christian Extremists. It made you think, and it made you question political correctness, but it wasn't funny.
7. It's difficult to make an irreverent comedy that's to be marketed to political conservatives, simply because one of the chief features of conservatism is reverence.
Contrast this movie with "Team America: World Police". Now there's a movie that took no prisoners, and made almost all of the same points that "An American Carol" attempted.
There's a 1979 film called "The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh" that I saw in its original theatrical release. It's a Disco/NBA/Astrology mashup about an adorable black kid (this was the age of Gary Coleman, Webster, etc) who figures out that if his home team have the same astrological sign (Pisces) they'll win all their basketball games.
I hated, hated, hated that movie. Any time the subject of bad movies comes up in conversation, I can hold forth for waaaaay too long on the complete and utter crap that I paid good 1979 money to watch.
But now there's a contender. "An American Carol" may have been worse.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Sarah Palin and Joseph Biden debate at Washington University
They're calling this discussion between the BiPartisans a debate. No 2nd parties are allowed to participate.
To add insult to injury, Gwen Ifill of PBS is moderating this thing. She's got a book on Obama coming out on election day. She works for PBS. PBS. Yes, government owned PBS. And she's supposed to be neutral.
Ifill opens up with a question on the giveaway/bailout.
Biden: The last 8 years have been the worst ever. Biden's quoting Obama's plan. Oversight. Homeowners. Taxpayers are investors. CEO's can't benefit. We don't need people making money off the rescue plan? We don't need people making money off the rescue plan???? What is the rescue plan about?
Palin: Has this been a good time or a bad time? Go to a soccer game. You're going to hear fear. The soccer moms just took a major hit. She's wearing The Mother Of All Flag Pins. We need more oversight (as if they didn't ride roughshod over the present oversight.) People wouldn't listen to McCain's pleas for oversight. Biden is staring a hole through her.
Ifill: How would you fight this polarization in Washington?
Biden: I've reached across the aisle my whole career. But enough about that..... McCain said that the fundamentals of the economy are strong. That was at 9:00. By 11, we had a crisis.
Palin: McCain was talking to, and about the American workforce, and by the way, your flag pin is smaller than mine. I'm known for putting partisan politics aside. 96% of Obama's votes are party line. Americans want something new. Reform. We need to send a maverick to the White House.
Ifill: Neither of you are answering my question. Who was responsible for the subprime meltdown?
Palin: It was the predator lenders. Selling 300k houses to people who could only afford a 100K house. Joe six pack, hockey moms need to band together and never be taken advantage of again. We need strict oversight. WE NEED A MOMMY STATE, AND I'M A MOMMY ! ! !
She's dropping her g's on the end of gerunds a lot.
Biden: Two years ago, Obama warned about this, and McCain was surprised by it. McCain says he's always for cutting regulations. Right Wing Republican. Deregulate. He thinks Wall Street could regulate itself. He wants to deregulate the healthcare industry.
Palin: Darn right, we need tax relief for Americans. Obama voted for the increases, 92 times. 94 times. That's not what we need to heat up our economy. Government has to learn to live with less. Make just $$42,000 a year, and you get a tax increase with Obama.
Biden: He didn't vote to raise taxes. McCain voted the same way. McCain voted 477 times to raise taxes. Palin didn't answer the question about deregulation. He's in her face about it.
Palin: I'm gonna talk straight with you. I voted to reduce taxes. She's not answering about McCain yet. She's going into his position now.....Ifill cuts her off.
Ifill: Comes out with a wonkish tax question. Biden, you want to raise taxes on those making $255,000 per year. Why isn't that class warfare? Palin, you've proposed a tax on employer health benefits. Why isn't this taking things out on the poor?
Biden: Fairness. Under McCain's plan, 100 million middle class families wouldn't get a tax break. Under Obama's plan, no tax increases for these folks. Free lunches for 97% of us. When the middle class does well, America does well. McCain wants to give more stuff to the rich. They'll pay no more than they did under Reagan. (Having it both ways.)
Palin: You're forgetting how many small businesses fit into that category. You've said that paying more taxes is patriotic. That's horse hockey. Government is the problem. Lessen the tax burden on the economy. Obama is proposing a trillion in new spending.
Ifill: McCain's health care plan?
Palin: McCain is proposing a plan, blah blah blah blah, freakin' blah.
You know, I was at a small Libertarian party meeting at Pop's Safari bar in the museum district of Fort Worth before this. I left early to come home and blog this mess. These two are all about class warfare and fairness. They're throwing percentages and vote totals and stuff back and forth at each other with NO reference.
This thing is much harder to liveblog than the presidential debate.
They're debating each others' proposals (done on the fly, depending on which state they're in.)
Biden just got a laugh with a "Bridge to Nowhere" joke.
Ifill: What are you willing to get up, now that we're in an economic crisis?
Biden: We're not going to go through with tax cuts for Exxon. (We're going to tax the hell out of them, so you can pay more at the pump. As if higher taxes for corporations won't have an effect.) I'd eliminate the tax dodge of going offshore.
Palin: The nice thing about running with John.... He's consistent. The energy plan....Obama voted for an energy plan that gave Exxon those big tax breaks. She said that wasn't going to happen in her state. They're not her biggest fans. She busted up a monopoly up there in Alaska. Obama voted for those tax breaks that I had to undo. And my state is freakin' huge, and you're just a senator from Delaware.
Ifill: There's nothing you've promised you wouldn't take off the table.
Palin: I've only been running 5 weeks, so I don't have a big table.
Biden: Obama voted for the bill because of the support for Alternative Energy. Why is John adding 4 billion to the tax breaks for Exxon? Rhetoric, rhetoric, I give Palin credit.
Ifill: Last year, Palin, Congress passed a bill that would make it more difficult to declare bankruptcy because of getting suckered into a mortgage. Do you agree?
Palin: We need to be more appreciative of McCain's call for reform. You can thank him for bringing people to the table, trying to fix the problem. It's a toxic mess on MAIN STREET THAT'S AFFECTING WALL STREET? She got it backwards.
Ifill: Biden, you voted for the bankruptcy bill, Obama voted against it. Mortgage holders paid the price.
Biden: Obama and I disagreed, Glass half empty, glass half full. Obama wrote to the Treasury and said Get On The Stick Here. McCain said "I'm surprised".
At Pop's Safari Bar, I smoked a cigar Wayyyyy to fast, so I could get home and watch this. Does anyone ever succesfully go back and verify what these people say? There are so many earmarks lumped together on every vote, there's no way to briefly explain what you're voting for or against.
Ok, Palin just made a jab at EAST COAST NON-PRODUCING STATES (UNLIKE HER MASSIVE PRODUCTION EMPIRE) and we're relying on foreign countries to produce for them, countries that don't like America.
Energy independence is the key, blah blah blah.
Palin is doing better than I thought she would.
Ifill: What causes climate change?
Palin: Alaska feels the impact more than any other state. Part of it is man made, some of is cyclical. What I want to argue is (Ok, I admit I'm reversing the Tivo on this sentence, wanna get it right) how are we gonna get there to positively affect the impacts, we have got to clean up this planet, we have got to encourage other nations also to come along with us with the impacts of climate change.....impacts? impacts? impacts? She's freakin' out for the first time. Ifill and Biden are just letting her roll along....She's blathering on about impacts....
Ifill: Biden?
Biden: It's clearly man-made. If you don't understand the cause, you can't develop a solution. He's going into how much we produce, vs what we consume. McCain's record of voting against alternative energy programs. He's not going into how he and Pat Robertson are going to change the weather.
Ifill: McCain says he supports caps. Biden hasn't always supported clean coal technology.
Palin: Drill baby, drill. Even in my own energy producing state, etc etc, we're building a massive pipeline, etc etc etc. I live in Alaska, and you don't. You call exploration "raping" the outer shelf. O GOD, SHE JUST PRONOUNCED NUCLEAR LIKE BUSH DOES.
Ifill: Who supports carbon caps?
Everyone: I do.
Biden: Something about a rope line comment.
i had one beer at Pop's Safari bar. It has worn off. I need another. Back in a few. Whoops, never mind. Gay marriage question....
Ifill: Same sex benefits to couples?
Biden: Yep. No difference. Same sex couples should be granted the same rights as everyone else. Let's see if he supports gay marriage.
Palin: Not if it supports the traditional definition marriage. I'm tolerant. I have a diverse family, and diverse friends. In that tolerance, no one would propose anything to prohibit hospital visits, property rights. I don't support anything but a traditional definition of marriage.
Ifill: Biden, do you support gay marriage?
Biden: No.
Ok, people, that's why you should support Libertarians.
Ifill: You both have kids in Iraq. What's the exit strategy?
Palin: We've got an exit strategy. Petraeus, Petraeus, etc etc Obama voted against funding the troops. Biden, you called him out on it. You said it was political. We don't need early withdrawal. The surge has worked. Let's move people to Afghanistan. We can't lose against Al Qaeda, and the Shia.
Biden: I didn't hear a plan. Obama has a plan. The same one Bush is now negotiating. McCain voted the same way I did, because it had a timeline, to draw down American troops if there's a timeline. Obama and I think you've got to have a timeline to shift responsibility to the Iraqis. They have an 80 billion dollar surplus (their government never sponsored a Fannie and Freddy).
Palin: Your plan is a white flag of surrender in Iraq. You opposed the surge, the surge worked. We'll know when we're finished when they can govern and protect themselves. Biden, you said you wanted to run with McCain on the ticket? You said Obama wasn't ready to be president. I respect you and your decision. Obama's is another story.
Biden: John McCain voted to cut off funding to the troops. Because it had a timeline in it. McCain was saying the Sunnis and Shias would get along. He's been dead wrong on the fundamental issues.
Ifill: Iran and Pakistan.
Biden: Both are extremely dangerous. Pakistan has nukes. They've tested them. They can hit Israel. Iran would be destabilizing. John says the central front in the war on terror is in Iraq. It will be in Afghanistan, not Iraq, John !
He's calling McCain "John" a lot. Let's you know he knows all about him.
Palin: Both are bad. Petraeus is who turned this around. Petraeus and the leader of al-qaeda agree that Iraq is the center of the fight. Leader of Iran called Israel a stinking corpse. o god, she's going off into the "preconditions" thing that Obama said 9 months ago. McCain, Palin, nobody cares about this outside of the state department.
Ifill: All of the Wise Men have advocated some level of engagement with our enemies. Do you agree?
Palin: I hang out with Kissinger, and I agree with him. It's the preconditions thing again. the folks at home don't get it. I promise.
Biden: That's not true. Leader of Iran (whose name I can't spell) doesn't control the nukes. All our friends and allies say Talk, Talk, Talk. McCain says he wouldn't sit down and talk with the adversary. McCain says he wouldn't sit down with Spain.
Ifill: Israel. Palestine.
Palin: A two state solution is the solution. Rice is working on it. Israel is our best ally in the middle east. We won't allow a 2nd holocaust. Let's build an embassy in Jerusalem.
Biden: Nobody in the senate has been a better friend to Israel than Joe Biden. Bush's policy has been a disaster. Hamas won the elections. This is the sharpest that Biden has sounded. I think Palin wishes he was a moose.
Ifill: Failure?
Palin: I'm just soooooo happy that we both love Israel. Cause you know what? There are lots of Jewish people in Miami and I want their votes ! ! ! We're gonna work this out. Boilerplate, cliches, and we all respect each other. Change is coming.
Biden: How different is McCain going to be from Bush? You know how a word sounds funny when you repeat it over and over? Biden just said "George Bush's" about eight times in a row. Sounded ridiculous.
Ifill: Nukes?
Palin: I say the word Nuclear just like Bush. It's uncanny. Can we talk about Afghanistan? The surge principles that have worked in Iraq would work in Afghanistan. Petraeus and the surge. It's all we've got, and I'm gonna keep bringing it up. And we're building schools for children.
Biden: Our commanding general in Afghanistan said the surge principle won't work there. He said we need more troops? (Heck, isn't that what the surge is?) We've spent more in 3 weeks in Iraq than we've spent building the govt of Afghanistan in the last 6.5 years. More hits on John McCain. Obama reached across the aisle to Dick Lugar.
Palin: McClellan didn't say that the surge principles would work (definitively). Counter-insurgency strategy could work there. Talking points. talking points. scripted. She's not herself here.
Biden: He did say that. While Barack and Lugar and I have wanted to do more in Afghanistan, McCain has been saying they've succeeded. Ok, from now on, I'm typing "A" for Afghanistan. It's a really long word.
Ifill: More troops on the ground?
Biden: America has a stomach for success. What I did in Bosnia saved 10,000 lives. They'd been fighting for thousands of years, and now it's working. I said it would be a mistake to go into Iraq. Palin just looked up and got giggly. Something about Darfur and Nato. We can do it. I've been to the camps in Chad. We should rally the world to act to stop genocide.
Palin: It's so obvious that I'm a Washington outsider. Hey if you voted for it, just tell us why. You loved all this until the pres. race. Darfur: We can agree there. No fly zone. We're in a position to help. Alaska has a 40 billion dollar fund, and we divested our Sudan funds. Let's end atrocities.
Ifill: Where do you draw the line?
Biden: We have to have the capacity to do something about it. You can't harbor terrorists. Let's go back to McCain's strategy. On and on and on about who said what, tied down for a decade. McCain was lockstep with Cheney.
Palin: Ummm....I beg to disagree with you, you can say what you want to say....The pundits are going to weigh in on this, fact checkers, the truth will come out about who supported what.
Ifill: Vice Presidency is a heartbeat away. How would a Biden administration differ from an Obama administration?
Biden: I would carry out his policies. (Not answering the question. Does he not get it, or is he ignoring it?)
Palin: Heaven forbid anything should happen to a President. As for disagreeing with McCain? We're mavericks. I disagree with him on ANWR.... SHE ANSWERED THE QUESTION ! Now she's not answering the question, going off into cliches. Working class families. Running against Washington.
Biden: Go to the diner or Home Depot. You'll see. What has John McCain done to distinguish himself from Bush? Nothing.
Let's talk about class warfare for a few minutes.... We're a very fluid society. We don't have rigid classes. They're both saying "middle class" like it'll get them back to Auntie Em in Kansas.
Palin: Say it ain't so, Joe. (Gets a laugh) Your wife is a teacher, I'm from a family of teachers. Gives a shout out to the 3rd graders at Gladys Wood elementary. We need more flexibility in No Child Left Behind. We've got to ramp it up.
Ifill: Let's bring up your gaffes about the Vice Presidency.
Palin: We were both trying to make jokes, and nobody got yours, Joe. We know what a VP does, preside over the Senate. Support president's policies. I'd be all about energy independence, reform, children with special needs.
Biden: Education. I don't know any education program John has supported. Barack asked me to get things done in the Senate. I'd be the point man for the legislative initiatives. Obama wanted me with him. I'd give advice. I look forward to working with Barack.
Ifill: Do you believe that the exec branch doesn't hold complete sway over the Veep?
Palin: The founding fathers gave the rules. I do agree that we have some flexibility in there.
I've got to ask myself.....I liked Biden a lot in the Democratic debates. He said a lot of sensible things. Am I hostile to him now because he's the only big government guy on the stage, and Palin is more libertarian on most issues? Or is it because he's having to debate a woman? Neither one of them is setting the world on fire right now. Biden ought to be dominating, but it ain't happening.
Biden: Cheney has been a disaster. Primary role of Veep is to support the president. The idea that the Veep is part of the legislature is dangerous.
Ifill: Achilles heels. What is yours?
Palin: My experience as mayor, business owner, executive, and huge energy producing state? Let's see if I can find a weakness.....Hmmmmm. I can't think of one right now. I have the same world view as McCain. We're a shining city on a hill. cliches, cliches, cliches. If you think i'm going to admit to a weakness, you're crazy as hell.
Biden: Lack of discipline? Excessive passion, maybe? (He's answering the question that Palin dodged.) He's going off into the family narrative like Palin did. He's saying that he's as big a victim as Palin.
Palin: People aren't looking for more of the same. McCain's nickname is the Maverick. I'm the same way. Worked both sides of the aisle. She does this squinty thing with her eyes and nose when she wants to be sincere. It's more disturbing than helpful.
Biden: McCain hasn't been a maverick when it matters. He's voted for Bush budgets, healthcare, the war, education. Let's all bring up the kitchen table some more.
Ifill: Can you think of a single issue, Biden, where you have been forced to change a long-held view?
Biden: Robert Bork.
Palin: Budgets she could've vetoed, but didn't.
Ifill: Bipartisanship. How do you change the tone of Washington?
Biden: McCain would agree that I've worked across the aisle as well as anyone. Mike Mansfield anecdote. Don't question people's motives. Question their judgement.
Palin: You appoint people regardless of party. My family is diverse. She's grown up having to work with those who disagree.
Ifill: Closing statements
Palin: Biden, it's good to meet you. McCain and I are going to fight for the middle class. I'm one of you. We're blessed. Reagan quote. We've got to fight for freedom.
Biden: Palin, nice to meet you also. The last eight years have stunk up the known world. We need a fundamental change. Obama and I don't measure progress based on cutting regulations. He gets in another dig at Exxon Mobil. Lordy, I wish I had the debate bingo card with Exxon Mobil on it. He brings up the old neighborhood back home. When you get knocked down, get up.
Biden seemed more slick and polished. A lot of what he says is nightmarish from a libertarian perspective. Palin mumbled around and free-associated a few times. I think Hunter Biden, the lobbying artist, just made his way to the stage. I didn't see him during the Dem convention.
Biden probably won it. We'll see how he holds up against the fact-checkers. It was a long way from a knock-out punch, though.
To add insult to injury, Gwen Ifill of PBS is moderating this thing. She's got a book on Obama coming out on election day. She works for PBS. PBS. Yes, government owned PBS. And she's supposed to be neutral.
Ifill opens up with a question on the giveaway/bailout.
Biden: The last 8 years have been the worst ever. Biden's quoting Obama's plan. Oversight. Homeowners. Taxpayers are investors. CEO's can't benefit. We don't need people making money off the rescue plan? We don't need people making money off the rescue plan???? What is the rescue plan about?
Palin: Has this been a good time or a bad time? Go to a soccer game. You're going to hear fear. The soccer moms just took a major hit. She's wearing The Mother Of All Flag Pins. We need more oversight (as if they didn't ride roughshod over the present oversight.) People wouldn't listen to McCain's pleas for oversight. Biden is staring a hole through her.
Ifill: How would you fight this polarization in Washington?
Biden: I've reached across the aisle my whole career. But enough about that..... McCain said that the fundamentals of the economy are strong. That was at 9:00. By 11, we had a crisis.
Palin: McCain was talking to, and about the American workforce, and by the way, your flag pin is smaller than mine. I'm known for putting partisan politics aside. 96% of Obama's votes are party line. Americans want something new. Reform. We need to send a maverick to the White House.
Ifill: Neither of you are answering my question. Who was responsible for the subprime meltdown?
Palin: It was the predator lenders. Selling 300k houses to people who could only afford a 100K house. Joe six pack, hockey moms need to band together and never be taken advantage of again. We need strict oversight. WE NEED A MOMMY STATE, AND I'M A MOMMY ! ! !
She's dropping her g's on the end of gerunds a lot.
Biden: Two years ago, Obama warned about this, and McCain was surprised by it. McCain says he's always for cutting regulations. Right Wing Republican. Deregulate. He thinks Wall Street could regulate itself. He wants to deregulate the healthcare industry.
Palin: Darn right, we need tax relief for Americans. Obama voted for the increases, 92 times. 94 times. That's not what we need to heat up our economy. Government has to learn to live with less. Make just $$42,000 a year, and you get a tax increase with Obama.
Biden: He didn't vote to raise taxes. McCain voted the same way. McCain voted 477 times to raise taxes. Palin didn't answer the question about deregulation. He's in her face about it.
Palin: I'm gonna talk straight with you. I voted to reduce taxes. She's not answering about McCain yet. She's going into his position now.....Ifill cuts her off.
Ifill: Comes out with a wonkish tax question. Biden, you want to raise taxes on those making $255,000 per year. Why isn't that class warfare? Palin, you've proposed a tax on employer health benefits. Why isn't this taking things out on the poor?
Biden: Fairness. Under McCain's plan, 100 million middle class families wouldn't get a tax break. Under Obama's plan, no tax increases for these folks. Free lunches for 97% of us. When the middle class does well, America does well. McCain wants to give more stuff to the rich. They'll pay no more than they did under Reagan. (Having it both ways.)
Palin: You're forgetting how many small businesses fit into that category. You've said that paying more taxes is patriotic. That's horse hockey. Government is the problem. Lessen the tax burden on the economy. Obama is proposing a trillion in new spending.
Ifill: McCain's health care plan?
Palin: McCain is proposing a plan, blah blah blah blah, freakin' blah.
You know, I was at a small Libertarian party meeting at Pop's Safari bar in the museum district of Fort Worth before this. I left early to come home and blog this mess. These two are all about class warfare and fairness. They're throwing percentages and vote totals and stuff back and forth at each other with NO reference.
This thing is much harder to liveblog than the presidential debate.
They're debating each others' proposals (done on the fly, depending on which state they're in.)
Biden just got a laugh with a "Bridge to Nowhere" joke.
Ifill: What are you willing to get up, now that we're in an economic crisis?
Biden: We're not going to go through with tax cuts for Exxon. (We're going to tax the hell out of them, so you can pay more at the pump. As if higher taxes for corporations won't have an effect.) I'd eliminate the tax dodge of going offshore.
Palin: The nice thing about running with John.... He's consistent. The energy plan....Obama voted for an energy plan that gave Exxon those big tax breaks. She said that wasn't going to happen in her state. They're not her biggest fans. She busted up a monopoly up there in Alaska. Obama voted for those tax breaks that I had to undo. And my state is freakin' huge, and you're just a senator from Delaware.
Ifill: There's nothing you've promised you wouldn't take off the table.
Palin: I've only been running 5 weeks, so I don't have a big table.
Biden: Obama voted for the bill because of the support for Alternative Energy. Why is John adding 4 billion to the tax breaks for Exxon? Rhetoric, rhetoric, I give Palin credit.
Ifill: Last year, Palin, Congress passed a bill that would make it more difficult to declare bankruptcy because of getting suckered into a mortgage. Do you agree?
Palin: We need to be more appreciative of McCain's call for reform. You can thank him for bringing people to the table, trying to fix the problem. It's a toxic mess on MAIN STREET THAT'S AFFECTING WALL STREET? She got it backwards.
Ifill: Biden, you voted for the bankruptcy bill, Obama voted against it. Mortgage holders paid the price.
Biden: Obama and I disagreed, Glass half empty, glass half full. Obama wrote to the Treasury and said Get On The Stick Here. McCain said "I'm surprised".
At Pop's Safari Bar, I smoked a cigar Wayyyyy to fast, so I could get home and watch this. Does anyone ever succesfully go back and verify what these people say? There are so many earmarks lumped together on every vote, there's no way to briefly explain what you're voting for or against.
Ok, Palin just made a jab at EAST COAST NON-PRODUCING STATES (UNLIKE HER MASSIVE PRODUCTION EMPIRE) and we're relying on foreign countries to produce for them, countries that don't like America.
Energy independence is the key, blah blah blah.
Palin is doing better than I thought she would.
Ifill: What causes climate change?
Palin: Alaska feels the impact more than any other state. Part of it is man made, some of is cyclical. What I want to argue is (Ok, I admit I'm reversing the Tivo on this sentence, wanna get it right) how are we gonna get there to positively affect the impacts, we have got to clean up this planet, we have got to encourage other nations also to come along with us with the impacts of climate change.....impacts? impacts? impacts? She's freakin' out for the first time. Ifill and Biden are just letting her roll along....She's blathering on about impacts....
Ifill: Biden?
Biden: It's clearly man-made. If you don't understand the cause, you can't develop a solution. He's going into how much we produce, vs what we consume. McCain's record of voting against alternative energy programs. He's not going into how he and Pat Robertson are going to change the weather.
Ifill: McCain says he supports caps. Biden hasn't always supported clean coal technology.
Palin: Drill baby, drill. Even in my own energy producing state, etc etc, we're building a massive pipeline, etc etc etc. I live in Alaska, and you don't. You call exploration "raping" the outer shelf. O GOD, SHE JUST PRONOUNCED NUCLEAR LIKE BUSH DOES.
Ifill: Who supports carbon caps?
Everyone: I do.
Biden: Something about a rope line comment.
i had one beer at Pop's Safari bar. It has worn off. I need another. Back in a few. Whoops, never mind. Gay marriage question....
Ifill: Same sex benefits to couples?
Biden: Yep. No difference. Same sex couples should be granted the same rights as everyone else. Let's see if he supports gay marriage.
Palin: Not if it supports the traditional definition marriage. I'm tolerant. I have a diverse family, and diverse friends. In that tolerance, no one would propose anything to prohibit hospital visits, property rights. I don't support anything but a traditional definition of marriage.
Ifill: Biden, do you support gay marriage?
Biden: No.
Ok, people, that's why you should support Libertarians.
Ifill: You both have kids in Iraq. What's the exit strategy?
Palin: We've got an exit strategy. Petraeus, Petraeus, etc etc Obama voted against funding the troops. Biden, you called him out on it. You said it was political. We don't need early withdrawal. The surge has worked. Let's move people to Afghanistan. We can't lose against Al Qaeda, and the Shia.
Biden: I didn't hear a plan. Obama has a plan. The same one Bush is now negotiating. McCain voted the same way I did, because it had a timeline, to draw down American troops if there's a timeline. Obama and I think you've got to have a timeline to shift responsibility to the Iraqis. They have an 80 billion dollar surplus (their government never sponsored a Fannie and Freddy).
Palin: Your plan is a white flag of surrender in Iraq. You opposed the surge, the surge worked. We'll know when we're finished when they can govern and protect themselves. Biden, you said you wanted to run with McCain on the ticket? You said Obama wasn't ready to be president. I respect you and your decision. Obama's is another story.
Biden: John McCain voted to cut off funding to the troops. Because it had a timeline in it. McCain was saying the Sunnis and Shias would get along. He's been dead wrong on the fundamental issues.
Ifill: Iran and Pakistan.
Biden: Both are extremely dangerous. Pakistan has nukes. They've tested them. They can hit Israel. Iran would be destabilizing. John says the central front in the war on terror is in Iraq. It will be in Afghanistan, not Iraq, John !
He's calling McCain "John" a lot. Let's you know he knows all about him.
Palin: Both are bad. Petraeus is who turned this around. Petraeus and the leader of al-qaeda agree that Iraq is the center of the fight. Leader of Iran called Israel a stinking corpse. o god, she's going off into the "preconditions" thing that Obama said 9 months ago. McCain, Palin, nobody cares about this outside of the state department.
Ifill: All of the Wise Men have advocated some level of engagement with our enemies. Do you agree?
Palin: I hang out with Kissinger, and I agree with him. It's the preconditions thing again. the folks at home don't get it. I promise.
Biden: That's not true. Leader of Iran (whose name I can't spell) doesn't control the nukes. All our friends and allies say Talk, Talk, Talk. McCain says he wouldn't sit down and talk with the adversary. McCain says he wouldn't sit down with Spain.
Ifill: Israel. Palestine.
Palin: A two state solution is the solution. Rice is working on it. Israel is our best ally in the middle east. We won't allow a 2nd holocaust. Let's build an embassy in Jerusalem.
Biden: Nobody in the senate has been a better friend to Israel than Joe Biden. Bush's policy has been a disaster. Hamas won the elections. This is the sharpest that Biden has sounded. I think Palin wishes he was a moose.
Ifill: Failure?
Palin: I'm just soooooo happy that we both love Israel. Cause you know what? There are lots of Jewish people in Miami and I want their votes ! ! ! We're gonna work this out. Boilerplate, cliches, and we all respect each other. Change is coming.
Biden: How different is McCain going to be from Bush? You know how a word sounds funny when you repeat it over and over? Biden just said "George Bush's" about eight times in a row. Sounded ridiculous.
Ifill: Nukes?
Palin: I say the word Nuclear just like Bush. It's uncanny. Can we talk about Afghanistan? The surge principles that have worked in Iraq would work in Afghanistan. Petraeus and the surge. It's all we've got, and I'm gonna keep bringing it up. And we're building schools for children.
Biden: Our commanding general in Afghanistan said the surge principle won't work there. He said we need more troops? (Heck, isn't that what the surge is?) We've spent more in 3 weeks in Iraq than we've spent building the govt of Afghanistan in the last 6.5 years. More hits on John McCain. Obama reached across the aisle to Dick Lugar.
Palin: McClellan didn't say that the surge principles would work (definitively). Counter-insurgency strategy could work there. Talking points. talking points. scripted. She's not herself here.
Biden: He did say that. While Barack and Lugar and I have wanted to do more in Afghanistan, McCain has been saying they've succeeded. Ok, from now on, I'm typing "A" for Afghanistan. It's a really long word.
Ifill: More troops on the ground?
Biden: America has a stomach for success. What I did in Bosnia saved 10,000 lives. They'd been fighting for thousands of years, and now it's working. I said it would be a mistake to go into Iraq. Palin just looked up and got giggly. Something about Darfur and Nato. We can do it. I've been to the camps in Chad. We should rally the world to act to stop genocide.
Palin: It's so obvious that I'm a Washington outsider. Hey if you voted for it, just tell us why. You loved all this until the pres. race. Darfur: We can agree there. No fly zone. We're in a position to help. Alaska has a 40 billion dollar fund, and we divested our Sudan funds. Let's end atrocities.
Ifill: Where do you draw the line?
Biden: We have to have the capacity to do something about it. You can't harbor terrorists. Let's go back to McCain's strategy. On and on and on about who said what, tied down for a decade. McCain was lockstep with Cheney.
Palin: Ummm....I beg to disagree with you, you can say what you want to say....The pundits are going to weigh in on this, fact checkers, the truth will come out about who supported what.
Ifill: Vice Presidency is a heartbeat away. How would a Biden administration differ from an Obama administration?
Biden: I would carry out his policies. (Not answering the question. Does he not get it, or is he ignoring it?)
Palin: Heaven forbid anything should happen to a President. As for disagreeing with McCain? We're mavericks. I disagree with him on ANWR.... SHE ANSWERED THE QUESTION ! Now she's not answering the question, going off into cliches. Working class families. Running against Washington.
Biden: Go to the diner or Home Depot. You'll see. What has John McCain done to distinguish himself from Bush? Nothing.
Let's talk about class warfare for a few minutes.... We're a very fluid society. We don't have rigid classes. They're both saying "middle class" like it'll get them back to Auntie Em in Kansas.
Palin: Say it ain't so, Joe. (Gets a laugh) Your wife is a teacher, I'm from a family of teachers. Gives a shout out to the 3rd graders at Gladys Wood elementary. We need more flexibility in No Child Left Behind. We've got to ramp it up.
Ifill: Let's bring up your gaffes about the Vice Presidency.
Palin: We were both trying to make jokes, and nobody got yours, Joe. We know what a VP does, preside over the Senate. Support president's policies. I'd be all about energy independence, reform, children with special needs.
Biden: Education. I don't know any education program John has supported. Barack asked me to get things done in the Senate. I'd be the point man for the legislative initiatives. Obama wanted me with him. I'd give advice. I look forward to working with Barack.
Ifill: Do you believe that the exec branch doesn't hold complete sway over the Veep?
Palin: The founding fathers gave the rules. I do agree that we have some flexibility in there.
I've got to ask myself.....I liked Biden a lot in the Democratic debates. He said a lot of sensible things. Am I hostile to him now because he's the only big government guy on the stage, and Palin is more libertarian on most issues? Or is it because he's having to debate a woman? Neither one of them is setting the world on fire right now. Biden ought to be dominating, but it ain't happening.
Biden: Cheney has been a disaster. Primary role of Veep is to support the president. The idea that the Veep is part of the legislature is dangerous.
Ifill: Achilles heels. What is yours?
Palin: My experience as mayor, business owner, executive, and huge energy producing state? Let's see if I can find a weakness.....Hmmmmm. I can't think of one right now. I have the same world view as McCain. We're a shining city on a hill. cliches, cliches, cliches. If you think i'm going to admit to a weakness, you're crazy as hell.
Biden: Lack of discipline? Excessive passion, maybe? (He's answering the question that Palin dodged.) He's going off into the family narrative like Palin did. He's saying that he's as big a victim as Palin.
Palin: People aren't looking for more of the same. McCain's nickname is the Maverick. I'm the same way. Worked both sides of the aisle. She does this squinty thing with her eyes and nose when she wants to be sincere. It's more disturbing than helpful.
Biden: McCain hasn't been a maverick when it matters. He's voted for Bush budgets, healthcare, the war, education. Let's all bring up the kitchen table some more.
Ifill: Can you think of a single issue, Biden, where you have been forced to change a long-held view?
Biden: Robert Bork.
Palin: Budgets she could've vetoed, but didn't.
Ifill: Bipartisanship. How do you change the tone of Washington?
Biden: McCain would agree that I've worked across the aisle as well as anyone. Mike Mansfield anecdote. Don't question people's motives. Question their judgement.
Palin: You appoint people regardless of party. My family is diverse. She's grown up having to work with those who disagree.
Ifill: Closing statements
Palin: Biden, it's good to meet you. McCain and I are going to fight for the middle class. I'm one of you. We're blessed. Reagan quote. We've got to fight for freedom.
Biden: Palin, nice to meet you also. The last eight years have stunk up the known world. We need a fundamental change. Obama and I don't measure progress based on cutting regulations. He gets in another dig at Exxon Mobil. Lordy, I wish I had the debate bingo card with Exxon Mobil on it. He brings up the old neighborhood back home. When you get knocked down, get up.
Biden seemed more slick and polished. A lot of what he says is nightmarish from a libertarian perspective. Palin mumbled around and free-associated a few times. I think Hunter Biden, the lobbying artist, just made his way to the stage. I didn't see him during the Dem convention.
Biden probably won it. We'll see how he holds up against the fact-checkers. It was a long way from a knock-out punch, though.
When Will The U.S. National Debt Reach The 11 Trillion Dollar Mark?
Texas Senators John Cornyn and Kay Bailey Hutchison both voted for the $700 billion giveaway.
It's cloaked in the language of Propping Up The Financial System and Preventing An Economic Apocalypse.
I don't buy it.
They're going to take your money and invest it in homes that were built during a housing bubble and sold during a housing bubble.
The idea is that they're going to unload all these houses onto unwary purchasers during the next housing bubble.
There might be some unwary purchasers left out there. People who've been living under rocks, the mentally ill, North Koreans, etc.
In the meantime, keep an eye on the National Debt meter to your right. When I installed it a few months ago, it was at 9.5 trillion, and now we're hitting 9.8 trillion. Unless the remaining rational beings in the House of Representatives hold their ground, we'll be at 10 trillion next week.
So here's the question. When do you think the National Debt meter will hit 11 trillion dollars?
Since we'll probably have the blessings of an Obama presidency with a Democratic majority in the House and Senate next year, I'm betting that we'll hit the 11 trillion mark by 1:15 p.m., October 2nd, 2009.
Place your wagers below. Give time, date, and year. Person to come closest gets a two dollar contribution for a down payment on a Community Reinvestment Act home in Yazoo City, Mississippi.
And by the way, Kay Bailey Hutchison and John Cornyn must be punished.
It's cloaked in the language of Propping Up The Financial System and Preventing An Economic Apocalypse.
I don't buy it.
They're going to take your money and invest it in homes that were built during a housing bubble and sold during a housing bubble.
The idea is that they're going to unload all these houses onto unwary purchasers during the next housing bubble.
There might be some unwary purchasers left out there. People who've been living under rocks, the mentally ill, North Koreans, etc.
In the meantime, keep an eye on the National Debt meter to your right. When I installed it a few months ago, it was at 9.5 trillion, and now we're hitting 9.8 trillion. Unless the remaining rational beings in the House of Representatives hold their ground, we'll be at 10 trillion next week.
So here's the question. When do you think the National Debt meter will hit 11 trillion dollars?
Since we'll probably have the blessings of an Obama presidency with a Democratic majority in the House and Senate next year, I'm betting that we'll hit the 11 trillion mark by 1:15 p.m., October 2nd, 2009.
Place your wagers below. Give time, date, and year. Person to come closest gets a two dollar contribution for a down payment on a Community Reinvestment Act home in Yazoo City, Mississippi.
And by the way, Kay Bailey Hutchison and John Cornyn must be punished.
Who's To Bless And Who's To Blame
Here's some Bailout/Giveaway linkage from my friend John Spivey, who runs the Tarrant County Libertarian Meetup Group:
Who to blame? I only have so many fingers! And one is needed for my eternal salute to Congress...
I thought that I'd check out the Ludwig Von Mises Institute, since they're usually so right on target - and of course, they didn't disappoint.
Below is a link to their page "The Bailout Reader" which has many prescient articles written some months to several years ago which foretell the future in Nostradomus-like fashion!http://www.mises.org/story/3128
This is a GREAT collection of articles that John is recommending. Most of them were written in the last 10 years, and predict financial meltdown, panic in Congress, and just about all the stuff you see going on now. They were widely ridiculed at the time, of course.
I particularly like this (about the time Pelosi and Franks were gushing over the shrewd financial brilliance and management capabilities of FNMA's Chief Rains) - http://mises.org/story/1463
Compare to this Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MGT_cSi7Rs
It glosses over the culpability of the GOP, but it's funny that the ones pushing the hardest for the bailout now are the ones pushing the hardest to build up the character of FNMA execs in 2004!!
Of course, the GOP is as guilty as the Dems...
Well, maybe it's 49% - 51%... but still...
Who to blame? I only have so many fingers! And one is needed for my eternal salute to Congress...
I thought that I'd check out the Ludwig Von Mises Institute, since they're usually so right on target - and of course, they didn't disappoint.
Below is a link to their page "The Bailout Reader" which has many prescient articles written some months to several years ago which foretell the future in Nostradomus-like fashion!http://www.mises.org/story/3128
This is a GREAT collection of articles that John is recommending. Most of them were written in the last 10 years, and predict financial meltdown, panic in Congress, and just about all the stuff you see going on now. They were widely ridiculed at the time, of course.
I particularly like this (about the time Pelosi and Franks were gushing over the shrewd financial brilliance and management capabilities of FNMA's Chief Rains) - http://mises.org/story/1463
Compare to this Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MGT_cSi7Rs
It glosses over the culpability of the GOP, but it's funny that the ones pushing the hardest for the bailout now are the ones pushing the hardest to build up the character of FNMA execs in 2004!!
Of course, the GOP is as guilty as the Dems...
Well, maybe it's 49% - 51%... but still...
And at some point, you've got to ask yourself.... Why do voters continue to elect convicted arsonists to supervise the Fire Department?
If it weren't so sad, it'd be funny.
Enjoy?
John
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Michael C. Burgess didn't vote for the giveaway
My Congressman, The Honorable Michael C. Burgess, did NOT vote for the giveaway.
Therefore, I'm going to send him some money next time he runs for something. Whoops, he's already running for re-election. Will send something this week.
Here's the link to his official site.
Here's a link to his re-election campaign site.
I've been on the road for the last two days, and was struck by the rabid hostility to this legislation on talk radio. The only exceptions, of course, were public radio stations.
Does anyone (with a private sector job) believe that we should give this money away? Or to use the official BiPartisan line, does anyone believe that the taxpayers should invest in all these "assets" in the hope that the price will increase?
Remember, Nancy Pelosi is your broker.
Therefore, I'm going to send him some money next time he runs for something. Whoops, he's already running for re-election. Will send something this week.
Here's the link to his official site.
Here's a link to his re-election campaign site.
I've been on the road for the last two days, and was struck by the rabid hostility to this legislation on talk radio. The only exceptions, of course, were public radio stations.
Does anyone (with a private sector job) believe that we should give this money away? Or to use the official BiPartisan line, does anyone believe that the taxpayers should invest in all these "assets" in the hope that the price will increase?
Remember, Nancy Pelosi is your broker.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Carnival Of The Libertarians - Pre-Wall Street Giveaway Edition !
Welcome to the September 28, 2008 edition of Carnival of the libertarians ! Ordinarily, I like to provide some additional commentary for the submissions, but it's been one heck of a work week. I only did a little pruning and weeding of some submissions that were too far off-topic. Enjoy !
Menstrual Poetry presents Sarah Palin is Not a Feminist posted at Menstrual Poetry.
Archvillain presents Achtung! posted at A Dark and Sinister Force for Good, saying, "How long will we (the People) permit this sort of abuse by the Government?"
Andrew Ian Dodge presents British Government Chooses Hitler-Loving Eugenicist posted at Dodgeblogium.
Rickey Henderson presents Rickey Presents: The Republican National Convention Drinking Game posted at Riding with Rickey.
Mark Montgomery presents Affirmative Action for Boys: The Moral Equivalent to Affirmative Action for Blacks and Latinos? posted at Great College Advice, saying, "Thanks for considering my post."
Hunter Beck presents OPEC, ANWR and Gas Prices posted at - AMERICAN EYEBROW -.
Praveen presents Environmentalist Meddling Causes Uneasy Existence Between Humans and Komodo Dragons? posted at Tao of Simplicity.
NotYourDaddy presents Environmentalists vs. Alternative Energy posted at Government is not your Daddy., saying, "The environmentalists claim they oppose drilling for oil because they favor alternative energy sources that are cleaner and safer for the environment. But it turns out that the greatest opposition to alternative energy production comes from environmental groups!"
Hunter Beck presents Why do we care what entertainers say about politics? posted at - AMERICAN EYEBROW -.
GrrlScientist presents The Biology of Politics: Is It For Real? posted at Living the Scientific Life, saying, "Do we have free will or are we "programmed" by our genes to be "defensive" in our political views?"
Andrew Ian Dodge presents AT&T blocks this site… posted at Dodgeblogium, saying, "AT&T does not like my content...so it censors it for those who use their service. My crime? Porn? Racism? No it seems they don't like my criticism of their handling of the iPhone."
Archvillain presents Basic Criteria posted at A Dark and Sinister Force for Good, saying, "Personal responsibility is on life support"
Jeffrey Stingerstein presents Hey, Big Spender: Let's Cut Taxes: Two Sides of the Same Coin: Socialism Here We Come... If You Own a Business posted at Disillusioned Words.
John Spaith presents Toastmasters & Etc. » Evaluating Bob Barr posted at Toastmasters & Etc., saying, "Spaith evaluates Bob Barr's speeches at the Libertarian Convention - both the good and the bad."
Menstrual Poetry presents Congratulations, Did You Pray Today? posted at Menstrual Poetry, saying, "An experience with a religious, pro-life woman who makes all religious, pro-life people look like overbearing psychopaths."
Mike Gogulski presents Renunciation as divorce nostate.com posted at nostate.com.
NotYourDaddy presents No Federal Bailouts! posted at Government is not your Daddy., saying, "This country is headed for disaster because of fiscal irresponsibility at every level, encouraged by those who think the government can just manipulate the economy a little bit more, just another tweak here or another pinch there. A push here or a squeeze there. But it’s all an illusion as long as the debt keeps growing."
NotYourDaddy presents When A Free Lunch isn't Good Enough posted at Government is not your Daddy., saying, "What these kids have been taught is that, if you don’t have the money to buy something, you can just say “charge it,” and then it’s free! And there’s no limit to how much you can charge without ever having to pay it back."
Archvillain presents Shell Game posted at A Dark and Sinister Force for Good, saying, ""Politician" seems to be synonymous with "criminal" these days"
Bear Nichols presents WSJ Claims Paulson Plan will Make Money for Taxpayer posted at Right Werds, Korrekt Speech, saying, "Concerns the housing bailout."
Phil B. presents The National Debt of the USA « Phil for Humanity posted at Phil for Humanity, saying, "Before it is too late, please contact U.S. politicians to demand immediate fiscal responsibility through a balanced budget and a gradual decrease in the National Debt."
NotYourDaddy presents Social Engineering as Economic Policy posted at Government is not your Daddy., saying, "What we are witnessing today is not a failure of the free market. It is the failure of social engineering as economic policy. And it’s a disaster of epic proportions."
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