Friday, October 2, 2009

The Fedex imported clock worksheet

From The Coyote Blog:

This is the information that Fedex is required to collect before bringing certain types of clocks into the U.S.
The Feds NEED this info.
You know why?

Here's Mr. Coyote, explaining why Fedex had to track him down and cross-examine him before releasing the shipment:

This would be one of the dumbest things I have seen from the government had it not been for the egg licenses I have to hold. This data was probably critical for some program pushed through by a Senator to protect some business in his district that does not even exist any more. I wonder if anyone in the government even remembers why this data is so vital (seriously, per question 11, how many wind-up clocks are coming through customs nowadays). Probably part of a program to protect America’s essential capacity to manufacture clock movements over 12mm in thickness.

If you think this is a waste of time, dive into the lunacy known as the garment industry. There are tens of thousands of quotas, guidelines, and point of origin notifications. Many of these are based on the designs and styles, each with a different tariff.
The point of all this is to keep you from getting what you want at the best price possible.
It really is that simple.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Two Year Blogoversary

I almost let the two year Blogoversary of this thing pass by without comment.

The first post on this site went up on 9-28-07, and I had no real idea what the main focus was going to be.
Since then, I've made it into the Star-Telegram a couple of times. Once with an editorial and once in a feature piece on political bloggers.
I've made some great friends through the Camp Blownstar Blogger meetups.
Big Daddy John Spivey found the site, and got me involved in the Tarrant County Libertarian Party.
That got me involved in End The Fed rallies, a Gay/Lesbian Rights parade, and staffing pro-2nd amendment booths at gun shows.
I've been to more Tea Parties than Lady Astor.
Then people started linking the site on Reddit. Then Facebook. Then it got Twittered. (And Twixted. Whatever that is.)
See that little world map on the right side of your screen, under the incredibly pretentious "A Thousand Points Of Light" header? Click on it, or click here. Depending on the topic of the day, I'll get more hits from Europe and Australia than from the U.S.
Fun stuff, this internet.
Before I started blogging, Dr. Ralph and I knew each other, but didn't hang out together. We recently spent a couple of hours at his place, playing guitars, not talking about politics, and looking at his artwork. (He's got a show in Fort Worth this weekend, BTW. Hit the link. Dr. Ralph can paint.)

When I can get my A-game going, this thing is good for 700-800 hits a day. Whenever I post sub-standard stuff for three days in a row, it drops into the 300-400 range so quickly that it's depressing. You people have the loyalty of tomcats.

If you've ever considered doing something like this, I hope you'll give it a try. Use the right key words in your headlines, and you'll meet plenty of people who love what you love, care about your concerns, and who are fascinating to correspond with. Plus, I don't know how people can claim they know what they think, until they read what they've written for public consumption.

Your voice counts. Unless, of course, you are WRONG, WRONG, WRONG ! !

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

From The Jihadist Safety Consultant, on appropriate methods of martyrdom

To: All employees, jihadists, Al-Qaeda operatives, and former associates of the late Abdullah Hassan Taleh Al Asiri

From: Rickle Abu-Noir, Jihadist Safety Consultant

Re: Appropriate methods of martyrdom

Please reset your "This Shop Has Worked ____ Days Without A Lost Time Accident" calendars back to zero. We were doing so well, and now this disaster.
It has been more than a year since I was forced by your carelessness to send a safety memo. I encourage you to refresh your memories now, and read my previous message.

I write and write and write, and you ignore my warnings. Do any of you think first before trying to kill yourself? Abdullah Hassan Taleh Al Asiri sent himself into the next life in a shameful manner, and we have nothing to show for it.

Here is a mocking account of Asiri's death from the infidel media:

JEDDAH – Suicide bomber Abdullah Asiri had inserted around half a kilogram of explosives into his own body to carry out his failed assassination attempt of Prince Muhammad Bin Naif, Assistant Minister of Interior for Security Affairs, last week.

Like many of you, I wondered how Asiri could have ingested a half kilo of explosives. Did he eat it with his falafel? With some nice pita bread? Was it a potluck event in the jihadist breakroom? I was impressed with his creativity until the next paragraph:

As more details emerged of the events surrounding the attack that took place at the Prince’s home in Obhur, sources told Okaz newspaper Friday that Asiri’s mobile telephone was equipped with two SIM cards, one of which was used to call members of the terrorist organization in Yemen, and the other to detonate the device located inside Abdullah Hassan Asiri’s rectum via a call from the group.

As you know, this type of perversion is against the laws of Islam. It is a stench in the nostrils of Allah. It even offends the Baptists of Texas, so may the fleas of ten thousand camels nestle in Asiri's enlarged nether regions for all eternity.

What made you people think this would be effective?

According to sources, Asiri told palace officials while waiting for Prince Muhammad to arrive that he would have to “have a lie down” due to fatigue if the Prince was late, something which analysts say could have been due to the presence of the explosives in his body.

Asiri had reportedly not eaten nor consumed any liquid for 40 hours, fearing that they might disturb the effect of the explosives. Asiri reportedly waited less than an hour until the arrival of Prince Muhammad and the Prince sat next to him in an uncustomary position in a corner of the room to hear him better, only an arm-rest separating them.

it could have been due to the presence of the explosives? Could have been?? Ya think ??? I swear by Muhammad's child bride, I vow, I declare that I will bring you people into compliance with all safety regulations, and I will do it quickly.
From now on, let it be understood that it is impossible, impossible, impossible to allow a half kilo of explosives and a detonator to enter your exit, and then walk around for 40 hours without experiencing fatigue. The experience will quickly become tiresome.
Any questions? Good.

This is from yet another infidel, swine eating website:

It said the attacker concealed the explosives in his anus, allowing him to evade detection.
The network also quoted an expert as saying that the method of concealment aimed the blast away from the target, while blowing the bomber to bits....

Did Asiri not remember that his American-loving, jihadist-hating target is also a (false) follower of Muhammed? Did Asiri forget that he had a convenient excuse to kneel on the floor with his nose pointed toward Mecca and his ass toward his target?
No. Asiri obviously turned his master blaster away from his target, letting loose the most destructive fart since Allah shat forth the Zagros Mountain Range.

But like many of us in the days after the feast of Eid-ul-Fitr, he released nothing but noise and wind.
And small bits if Asiri.
Do not think we are through discussing this incident yet. We have a video of the clownish Asiri, bragging about the detonator that is about to go In Through His Out Door, may Allah vomit upon his perverted soul.

Does anyone else notice anything unusual about Asiri in this video? Notice that Asiri may have spent more time bonding with his mother than his father? Notice that his clothing is immaculate? Notice the undisguised joy with which he is holding the detonator? Do you think Asiri's tent might have tasteful track lighting, color-coordinated rugs, some Barbra Streisand CD's and a Shih-Tzu? Most of you would be terrified of having someone shove electronics into your back passage.

Asiri seems delighted.

Asiri volunteered for this mission because he liked it, you fools. He was an ass bandit of the worst sort. Yes, one of you packed a half kilo of explosives into his camel padding, but most of it leaked out long before he approached his target. Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT select someone for this type of martyrdom if his rear end has been used as a Hamster Habitrail.

I don't think Asiri died thinking of 72 female virgins.

This was a huge disappointment and it embarrassed us all over the world. Please remember the primary goal of our organization: Martyrdom, Martyrdom, Martyrdom.
But Allah doesn't like it if you like it.


Rickle Abu-Noir
Jihadist Safety Consultant

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

How To Catch Wild Pigs

My Camp Blownstar friend Harper has a great post on How To Catch Wild Pigs.

Go there. Bookmark Harper, and the blog "Passed Up Strange". One of the smartest people I've ever met, that Harper.

The Weekly Radley - Neighborliness has been found, and must be punished ! ! !

Our Weekly Radley, from the online collection of Radley Balko, involves a Michigan woman who is cruelly siphoning funds away from the babysitting industry.....

MIDDLEVILLE, Mich. (WZZM) - A West Michigan woman says the state is threatening her with fines and possibly jail time for babysitting her neighbors' children.Lisa Snyder of Middleville says her neighborhood school bus stop is right in front of her home. It arrives after her neighbors need to be at work, so she watches three of their children for 15-40 minutes until the bus comes.

The Department of Human Services received a complaint that Snyder was operating an illegal child care home. DHS contacted Snyder and told her to get licensed, stop watching her neighbors' kids, or face the consequences.

"It's ridiculous." says Snyder. "We are friends helping friends!" She added that she accepts no money for babysitting.Mindy Rose, who leaves her 5-year-old with Snyder, agrees. "She's a friend... I trust her."

State Representative Brian Calley is drafting legislation that would exempt people who agree to care for non-dependent children from daycare rules as long as they're not engaged in a business. "We have babysitting police running around this state violating people, threatening to put them in jail or fine them $1,000 for helping their neighbor (that) is truly outrageous" says Rep. Calley.

A DHS spokesperson would not comment on the specifics of the case but says they have no choice but to comply with state law, which is designed to

Get ready for comes the kicker ! ! !

protect Michigan children ®
The Nanny State Demotivational Poster came from someplace in all of this.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Dave Barry on Free Speech, Politics, and Thoughtcrime

Dave Barry has been a small L libertarian since early in his journalism career. This is from the Advocates For Self Government site:

No, we are not making this up! Humorist Dave Barry is a libertarian, and has been for years. In a 1994 interview with Reason magazine, Barry credited writer Sheldon Richman with convincing him to embrace libertarianism, back in the 1970s.

"Sheldon and I would argue," Barry told Reason. "I mean, really argue.... Then in the late '70s, I begin to see. I think the gas crisis had something to do with it. I began to realize, this is all happening because of the government. And I began to think about all the government people I knew ... who were theoretically for the common good. Then I realized not one of them was [for the common good]." That led Barry to his ultimate insight about government: "It's stupid."

Barry was even more explicit about his political beliefs in an interview with the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review (April 23, 2005). "I'm a libertarian," Barry said. "But that's kind of an easy stance to be if you're a humor columnist, because you're tending to make fun of the government and the powerful.... I'm sort of a soft-core libertarian in that my compass is generally pointing away from 'Let's let the government do this'... Does it matter to me that it's Democrats who think we need more elaborate programs that involve shifting money from one group to another group or it's Republicans saying we need to take a harder look at what kinds of things people are watching on cable TV? Neither one of those things strikes me as a good idea."

Here's the complete Reason magazine interview, if you're interested. Here's a highlight:

Reason: In your column I detect a certain skepticism at the notion that congressional spending creates jobs.
Barry: Of all the wonderful things government says, that's always been just about my favorite. As opposed to if you get to keep the money. Because what you'll do is go out and bury it in your yard, anything to prevent that money from creating jobs. They never stop saying it. They say it with a straight face and we in the press will write that down. We will say, "This is expected to create x number of jobs." On the other hand, we never say that the money we removed from another part of the economy will kill some jobs.
Reason: Have you ever had a government job?
Barry: No. I'm trying to think of what government job I would want. Maybe a disgruntled postal worker.
Reason: What's the most ridiculous government program you've ever written about or heard of?
Barry: I would really have a hard time just picking one. Anything at all in West Virginia is a good place to start. My favorite ones are when our own Defense Department says, "No, we really don't want you to build these weapons systems." Where do we stand now with the BI Bomber? We're going to build them but not put wings on them? We call it defense spending, but I wonder why we don't just hand the money to Lockheed and let them go out and spend it and not build a plane that might crash and kill somebody.
I don't think the press has done a very good job dealing with government spending. The Defense Department with the $9,500 toilet seat, that' s not the problem anymore. Medicare and Medicaid and Social Security are the problem. That's us. That's our generation. There the press never says a word.
We certainly never require politicians to ever address those issues except really briefly sometimes during the New Hampshire primary, and then everybody falls asleep.

And here's a YouTube of Dave Barry on Free Speech.