My Sermon at the NORML meeting

My buddy Tristan Tucker asked me to speak at the recent DFW/NORML meeting. 
NORML is the National Organization For The Reform Of Marijuana Laws. 

I decided to take on a Southern Baptist Preacher persona and give the smokers and tokers a sermon.  It was well-received. 

BTW, only a Libertarian would selectively edit the Old Testament to improve the flow.  Yes, we really do believe we can improve on stuff supposedly written by God. 

Enjoy. 

My name is the Reverend Doctor Allen Patterson, and I bring you greetings from the First Church Of The Tarrant County Libertarian Party!!  Our text for today is from the Book of 1^st Samuel, Chapter 8.

Look it up on your phone so you won’t think I’m making this stuff up.  Way back in the day, Israel was governed by a small group of judges, and their only job was to intervene in disputes, enforce the laws of the land, and protect the borders. 

Does that sound nice?  Yeah, that sounds nice.  1 Samuel, Chapter 8. 

⁴ One day the people of Israel came to Samuel The Prophet ⁵ and said, “You are an old man.  Now we want a king to be our leader,  just like all the other nations. We want a king!  Choose one for us!”

⁶ Samuel was upset to hear the leaders say they wanted a king, so he prayed about it. ⁷ The Lord answered:

“They aren’t rejecting you and your judges, Samuel.  They’re rejecting me. ⁹ Do everything they ask, but warn them and tell them how a king will treat them.

¹⁰ Samuel told the people who were asking for a king what the Lord had said:

¹¹ If you have a king, this is how he will treat you. He will force your sons to join his army. Some of them will drive his chariots, and some will be in his cavalry.  Your other children will have to farm the king’s land and harvest his crops, or make the king’s weapons and parts for his chariots. <sup>13 

And the people STILL said “Give us a king!”</sup> 

And Samuel said “Your daughters will have to make his perfume or do his cooking and baking.” And the people Still said “Give us a king!”

¹⁴ The king will take your best fields, as well as your vineyards, and olive orchards and give them to his own officials. ¹⁵ He will also take a tenth of your grain and grapes and give it to his officers and his officials.  (Can you imagine the government taking only a tenth??)

And the people Still said “Give us a king!”

¹⁶ And Samuel said “this king will take your best young men and your donkeys and make them do his work. ¹⁷ He will also take a tenth of your sheep and goats. You will become the king’s slaves, ¹⁸ and you will finally cry out for the Lord to save you from the king you wanted.

^19-20 The people would not listen to Samuel. “No!” they said. “We want to be like other nations. We want a king to rule us and lead us in battle.”

²¹ Samuel listened to them and then told the Lord exactly what the people had said.

And the Lord answered. “So…..Give them a king.”

Thus ends the reading of today’s word from the Lord. 

DFW/NORML, for 3,000 years we’ve known how kings and governments behave.  And yet some of us still say “Give Us A King!”  There's a little girl named Emma sitting at this front table.  She's totally innocent.  Never spent a dime in her life.  Our kings and their government and their reckless spending have put Emma $50,000.00 in debt.  If  Emma’s foolish enough to grow up to be a taxpayer, her share of the national debt is $110,000.00

Emma's share of the unfunded retirements, Social Security payments and other liabilities?  ONE MILLION DOLLARS. 

And some of us still say “Give Us A King”. 

The Richard Nixon through Barack Obama Drug War has killed 40,000 civilians in Mexico.  We have as many as 800,000 people in prison for non-violent drug offenses.  It costs 40 to 50,000 each, per year, to keep these people in a steel cage. 

And we still say “Give Us A King.”

George Bush, Bill Clinton, Sarah Palin, Newt Gingrich, Barack Obama, Al Gore, Arnold Schwarzenegger and RICK FREAKIN’ SANTORUM all affirm that they have smoked marijuana, all of them would’ve had their careers ended if they’d been busted as kids, and ALL OF THEM STILL SUPPORT THE WAR ON MARIJUANA.  And their parties still say “Give Us A King”. 

Because of the war on marijuana, Barack Obama has more black men living in cages than Jefferson Davis and the Confederacy did at the start of the Civil War.

And the people still say “Give Us A King”. 

Church family, my brothers and sisters at DFW/NORML, we are all sinners.  There is none who is righteous, no, not one.  We have all, in our sinful pasts, voted for Republicans and Democrats, the people who got us into the mess predicted in the Book of First Samuel 3,000 years ago.  We’ve all done it. 

But there is a way out.  And it’s called The Tarrant County Libertarian Party.   Are you ready to end the war on marijuana?  Are you ready to get the government out of your life?  ARE YOU READY? 

Brother Ken Stanford is waiting at the table in the back, along with the rest of our trained counseling staff.  Though your sins be as scarlet, we can make them white as snow.  Though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.  There is no other way, there is no other path.  If the other parties could get you out of this hole you’re in, they would’ve done it by now instead of digging it deeper. 

ARE YOU READY TO MAKE A DECISION FOR CHRIST???

So….

May the Lord Bless you and keep you, May the Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious unto you.

May God give you the grace never to sell yourself short;

Grace to risk something big for something good

Grace to remember that the world is now too dangerous for anything but truth and too small for anything but love and tolerance for all….

So may God take your minds and think through them,

May God take your lips and speak through them,  And may God take your hearts, and set them on fire. 

Amen. 

The worst thing you'll see today - The horror....The horror....

Henry Farrish, my friend since high school, does home repair and maintenance. 

He knows that I love the "What's The Weirdest Thing You've Seen At Work?" conversation starter. 

I've been asking that question for twenty years. 

It might be time to retire the trophy. 

A few days ago, Henry got a call at 1:30 a.m. Somebody's toilet was flooding.  The guy sounded drunk. 

Henry got to the guy's house and checked out the situation. 

(The next few sentences are pure speculation.)

The man was incredibly drunk. 

From the looks of the bathroom and the toilet, the old guy had been puking.  Throwing his guts up.  And something else.  Maybe he passed out. 

When he got sober enough to clean up the place, the toilet overflowed. 

(End of speculation.) 

Henry shut off the water and disassembled the crapper. 

What he found in the toilet will haunt him the rest of his life. 

Click here to see. 




 

The Tax Implications Of The X-Men Being Human Or Not Human

The X-Men are not human.  The courts have said so. 

Why would the courts care?

To enjoy this particular situation, one must be aware of the following:

1) Politicians are elected by selling exemptions to the tax code.  Sometimes these exemptions are in the form of exceptions to tariff and quota rules.  Sometimes a rule is put in place to punish a competitor.  

2) This is why our tax code is four million words long, and growing by the day.    

3) Efficiency is good.  Inefficiency is bad.  If all merchandise came into the United States at the same tax/tariff rate, we could eliminate tens of thousands of government jobs and the godawful pensions that go with them. 

4) These wasteful "jobs" will never be eliminated.  There will always be an organized groups for exemptions in their medical device / green energy / children with cooties / American flag / Bibles For The Troops / javelin / coffin handle / Scrabble tile-manufacturing industries.  These groups are more organized than you.  They'll get their exemption, and you'll be taxed to supply enough bureaucrats, lawyers and courts to keep the rules sorted out. 

Now that my preliminary throat-clearing is out of the way, here goes:  

 Toy Biz v. United States was a 2003 decision in the United States Court of International Trade that determined that for purposes of tariffs, Toy Biz's action figures were toys, not dolls, because they represented "nonhuman creatures." This decision effectively reduced the tariff rate by a factor of two.


U.S. law distinguishes between two types of action figures for determining tariffs: dolls, which are defined to include human figures, and toys, which include "nonhuman creatures". Because duties on dolls were higher than on toys, Marvel Comics subsidiary Toy Biz argued before the U.S. Court of International Trade, that their action figures (including the X-Men and Fantastic Four) represented "nonhuman creatures" and were subject to the lower tariff rates for toys instead of the higher ones for dolls. On January 3, 2003, after examining more than 60 action figures, Judge Judith Barzilay ruled in their favor, granting Toy Biz reimbursement for import taxes on previous toys.

To summarize, the taxes on imported (human) dolls are lower than the taxes on imported (non-human) toys.  There's no reason for this distinction, and it would take a dozen Library Of Congress employees to figure out which politician put the distinction in place.  The donor he did it for is probably long-dead. 

It took almost ten years and hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of dollars in expenses to make this toy vs. doll distinction.

Here's just part of one logic behind one of the official rulings.  Go here for the whole thing.  If you can read this without praying for a nuclear strike on D.C., you're not part of the 49% who pay taxes.  

It is Customs position that the intent of the committees in reaching this conclusion is to deny the doll classification to those figures which possess non-human characteristics that are immediately apparent to the casual observer. Where the non-human feature(s) can only be discovered by close examination, the doll classification may be appropriate. The phrase "close examination" may encompass the need to look closely, the need to remove the clothes of the figure, or perhaps even the need of the observer to guess as to whether a feature that appears to be non-human is, in actuality, such a feature. Most angels and devils possess readily apparent non-human features, i.e., halos, large wings, visible horns, pointed tails, etc. -6-


However, if a figure is marketed as an angel or devil, and yet appears human to the casual observer, then, again, the doll classification may be appropriate.

In HRLs 081201 and 089895, issued October 3, 1988 and November 4, 1991, respectively, we classified certain troll figures that were described, in pertinent part, as being pot- bellied, flesh-colored, erect-standing figures, having flat heads with virtually no foreheads, pointed ears, and large, upturned snouts. We noted the guidance provided by the EN, that dolls should "represent" human beings, and cited Webster's Third New International Dictionary (1961), which defines "represent" as meaning "to portray by pictorial, plastic, or musical art: delineate, depict...to serve as the counterpart or image of: typify." In each case, we held that, while certain troll figures may have "resembled" human beings to some extent, it was immediately apparent to the casual observer that the subject figures did not "represent" humans, but rather represented widely recognized non-human creatures, i.e., trolls.

In HRL 085855, issued August 9, 1990, this office affirmed the doll classification of a "Beetlejuice" figure, which represented the ghost character from a popular movie and television show. The doll featured characteristics claimed to be non-human, but which could only be discovered by close examination. We stated that "[i]n order not to be classified as dolls, figures representing...other creatures, must possess appendages and features which immediately, at first glance, identify them as non-human."

Looking to the figures that have been classified as dolls in this case, we note that in most instances, the patent distortions essentially consist of such features as odd skin color, intricate headgear, capes which bear resemblance to wings, weaponry that is uniquely attached to, but is not an integral part of, the body, etc. As noted above, when a figure's non-human features can only be discovered by close examination, the doll classification may be appropriate.

Come quickly, Lord Jesus.  Come quickly. 

This brings us to the related case of Kamar Int’l v. United States, 10 C.I.T. 658 (Ct. Int’l Trade 1986).

That case dealt with whether E.T. the Extraterrestrial dolls represented an “animate” object, which would result in a lower tax rate than for toys in general (the customs classifications have changed a lot over the years, apparently). The Court of International Trade agreed with the plaintiff, despite the United States’ arguments that E.T. was a fictional alien and thus not an animate object. The Court cited as precedent the classification of Star Wars toys as toy figures of animate objects because “as depicted in the movie Star Wars they are living beings endowed with animal life.” Kamar, 10 C.I.T. at 661.

I don't believe that the E.T. case should have been argued as Dolls vs. Toys. 
Dolls vs. some other type of toy woulda been the appropriate discussion. 

Your First Time

Ladies, ladies, ladies....
I tell you all the time when your boyfriend/baby-daddy/significant other has done you wrong and you're late for work....

You need to find somebody who isn't going to run up your credit cards, spend a third of your paycheck before you ever see it, and get in fights with everyone in the neighborhood. Especially in Middle Eastern neighborhoods.  

You need someone who will give you a choice.  In everything. 

You don't need a Chicago Machine con artist. 

You need you some Gary Johnson. 

Here's the latest ad from the girls in Barack Obama's stable, and it's the most bizarre thing I've seen in a long, long time....  They say he's going to treat you right, don't they?  But how's he been for you the last four years?  Men ALWAYS pound on the door when you've locked 'em out, and they always promise to change, don't they? 

If this is the prize, what do they do to the losers????

I'd rather eat a can of Spam. 

I'd rather be tied down and forced to be an accountant in one of Nancy Pelosi's low-wage Tuna Factories.

I'd rather be strapped into one of those Clockwork Orange deprogramming chairs with my eyelids pulled open by tiny electronic arms, and made to watch the John Edwards sex tape. 

I'd rather sit through the Director's Commentary of An Inconvenient Truth. 

I'd rather fill a blender with frogs and....

Just who the heck is this Man Of The People trying to appeal to here?  I'd rather win a dinner date with Hermann Goering. 

If Obama's Drug War has lost Pat Robertson....

From Hot Air....

Quick: What do Pat Robertson and Ron Paul have in common? Yep, that’s right — they both think marijuana should be as legal as alcohol. Robertson made waves on the issue in the past when he said he thought marijuana-possession convictions shouldn’t end in mandatory prison sentences. He’s making waves again with the outright call to legalize the controlled substance.

Mr. Robertson’s support for legalizing pot appeared in a New York Times article published Thursday. His spokesman confirmed to the Associated Press that Mr. Robertson supports legalization with regulation. Mr. Robertson was not made available for an interview.
“I really believe we should treat marijuana the way we treat beverage alcohol,” Mr. Robertson was quoted by the newspaper as saying. “If people can go into a liquor store and buy a bottle of alcohol and drink it at home legally, then why do we say that the use of this other substance is somehow criminal?”
Mr. Robertson said he “absolutely” supports ballot measures in Colorado and Washington state that would allow people older than 21 to possess a small amount of marijuana and allow for commercial pot sales. Both measures, if passed by voters, would place the states at odds with federal law, which bans marijuana use of all kinds.

This debate seems to have no direction to go but in the direction of legalization; as Robertson said elsewhere in the article, “This war on drugs just hasn’t succeeded.”

The picture of Robertson having a psychedelic experience came from here. 

They should sell it to me for less because we live close to each other !!!

Don Boudreaux teaches economics at George Mason University, the place where I'm going to get a Doctorate in Economics if I ever win the lottery and can afford the tuition.  Boudreaux has written a beautiful letter to Bill O'Reilly of Fox News. 

This letter should be studied by schoolchildren everywhere. 
Boudreaux and Russ Roberts are the proprietors of the Cafe Hayek blog. 
Here goes: 

Mr. Bill O’Reilly
The O’Reilly Factor
Fox News
New York, NY

Dear Mr. O’Reilly:

You’re all lathered up because U.S. oil companies are exporting much of their refined gasoline and heating oil to other countries and thereby putting upward pressure on fuel prices here in America. You conclude that these companies have a moral obligation not to export so much.

Your economics is wrong and your ethics convenient.

First some economics. Selling in the global market encourages firms to build larger factories and refineries that, in turn, enable outputs to be produced at lower costs per unit. So while in the short-run rising exports of oil products can cause fuel prices here to spike, the long-run effect might well be lower prices because of larger, more-efficient scales of operation. Also, more exports of fuel products means more imports of other goods and services. The result is lower prices in America for consumer goods such as clothing and furniture, as well as lower prices of inputs such as steel and industrial machinery used by American factories.

I was amused, by the way, that in your Feb. 17th discussion with Lou Dobbs, Mr. Dobbs shared your anger at rising U.S. oil exports. This is the same Mr. Dobbs who repeatedly complains that the problem with America’s involvement in the global economy is that foreigners stubbornly refuse to buy sufficient amounts of American exports. Go figure.

Now about your ethics. You’re paid so handsomely because there’s a large nation-wide demand for your commentary and bombast. In your career you’ve worked for broadcasters in Boston, Dallas, Denver, Hartford, and elsewhere. And before moving to Fox you were a correspondent for ABC News. You apparently never hesitated to sell your product to the highest bidder; you never hesitated to export yourself from one market to another in search of higher pay; you never resisted the bidding for your services by buyers (i.e., employers) far and wide which put upward pressure on the amounts of money that you are paid, both to appear on television and to deliver lunch and dinnertime speeches.

Get ready!!   Here comes the Don Boudreaux Karate Kid Crane kick !!!!!!!

So I ask: are you guilty of an offense against those many Americans who – as a result of your responding to market signals regarding the value of your services – must now pay higher prices for the privilege of hearing your commentary? Should you return to your long-ago job at a local Scranton television station, at your long-ago lower salary, and apologize to the good people of Lackawanna County for your greedy and evil habit of exporting yourself to wherever and whoever offers to pay you more money?

Sincerely,
Donald J. Boudreaux
Professor of Economics
George Mason University
Fairfax, VA 22030

Don Boudreaux.  Often imitated, never duplicated. 

The coffee mug shown above was a gift from Dr. Ralph.  His son goes to GMU. 
The picture of Don Boudreaux morphed with Dr. Ralph came from Dr.Ralph.  It's one of the most bizarre things I've ever seen, despite serious competition from some incidents in my Mississippi childhood. 
At 2:00 this afternoon at The Corporate Image 5418 Brentwood Stair in East Fort Worth, I'll be playing guitar and singing with Dr. Ralph. 

Who would build the Toads in a Libertarian society?

I found this link on Libertarian Reddit:

A $600,000 frog sculpture that lights up, gurgles "sounds of nature" and carries a 10-foot fairy girl on its back could soon be greeting Defense Department employees who plan to start working at the $700 million Mark Center in Alexandria, Va. this fall. That is unless a new controversy over the price tag of the public art doesn't torpedo the idea.

Decried as wasteful spending that will be seen by just a couple thousand of daily workers who arrive on bus shuttles, foes have tried to delay the decision, expected tomorrow, April 1. But in an E-mail, an Army Corps of Engineers official said that the decision can't be held up because it would impact completion of the huge project.


The City of Alexandria just announced that there are four works of art being considered and that a final decision needs to be made fast. The artwork was put on display for public comment from March 24 to today. The Alexandria News first reported the hasty announcement to decide a winner.

....The four art proposals for the bus terminal include works for a wall and sculpture. But the one drawing most attention is the fairy and frog from artist Cheryl Foster. Her proposals describes the sculpture this way: "A 10-foot fairy, using an American Toad as 'transportation,' scurries to the entrance of the station. The interior of the toad is illuminated and the sounds of nature emanate from his throat." She said that nature inspired her.


While there are Philistines among us who would complain about a $600,000.00 statue of a fairy riding a toad, we must first ask ourselves "How do you really put a price on something like this?  C'mon people, it lights up and sounds of nature emanates from the frog's throat !!" 

The Comedy Genius of Charlie Delta !!!!!!!!

My California friend Charlie Delta has written a blog post in which our political situation pushes me over the edge. 

Stolen Forklifts in heavy traffic are involved. 

Shiner beer is involved. 

I'm not going to tell you how much of this might be true.

Here's the video that inspired Charlie Delta's story.  It takes a few seconds to get started.  Be patient.  This thing is worth it.  Let this be the soundtrack for what you're about to enjoy....

I've been around the world twice.  I've been to China five times.   I've been Employee Of The Year at two different companies.  I'm the father of my daughter. 

I don't know that any of that is better than this.  Hit the link and enjoy the pure comedy gold of Charlie Delta ! 

Mitt Romney's Top Eleven Bizarre Beliefs

Let me begin this by stating that I'm a member of an organization that believes a Jewish prophet once made an axe head float, that another man was once reprimanded by his donkey, and that if we eat some Ritz crackers and drink some Welch's grape juice, it kinda represents the body and blood of God and we become more like him.  I'm what is called a "Baptist".

I have other friends who believe that it is best to get the virgin Mary involved if you want to communicate with Jesus.  They believe that when they eat the Ritz and Welch's, it literally becomes the body and blood of God, instead of just a symbol.  They are called "Catholics".     
   
My daughter believes that it's a good idea to split 10's against a dealer Ace.  She is what is called "lucky".   

We all have our quirks. 


Mitt Romney, who announced his candidacy for the presidency a few days ago, has his quirks.  Mr. Romney is a member of the LDS church, AKA the Mormons. 


Mitt has some strange beliefs relative to the irrefutable spiritual opinions that the rest of us hold.  As Mark Twain once said about the Christian Scientists, "he is no more insane than the rest of us.  But he is more picturesquely insane than some of us." 


Here are Romney's Top Eleven Bizarre Beliefs, courtesy of Listverse.com.  (The eleventh came from elsewhere). 

References to "D and C" are to the Mormon book of "Doctrine and Covenants". 

10. Tithing



While tithes are not uncommon among religion, rarely are they mandatory. LDS theology states that in order to make it to the highest kingdom of heaven, you must pay a full and honest tithe.

D and C 119: 3-63 And this shall be the beginning of the tithing of my people.

4 And after that, those who have thus been tithed shall pay one-tenth of all their interest annually; and this shall be a standing law unto them forever, for my holy priesthood, saith the Lord.

5 Verily I say unto you, it shall come to pass that all those who gather unto the land of Zion shall be tithed of their surplus properties, and shall observe this law, or they shall not be found worthy to abide among you.

6 And I say unto you, if my people observe not this law, to keep it holy, and by this law sanctify the land of Zion unto me, that my statutes and my judgments may be kept thereon, that it may be most holy, behold, verily I say unto you, it shall not be a land of Zion unto you.

9. Pleasure in Life



This is one of the most famous pieces of LDS doctrine. It’s also the cause of many myths about Mormons. Basically; no coffee, no drugs, no tobacco.

D and C 89: 5-13
5 That inasmuch as any man drinketh wine or strong drink among you, behold it is not good, neither meet in the sight of your Father, only in assembling yourselves together to offer up your sacraments before him.

6 And, behold, this should be wine, yea, pure wine of the grape of the vine, of your own make.

7 And, again, strong drinks are not for the belly, but for the washing of your bodies.

8 And again, tobacco is not for the body, neither for the belly, and is not good for man, but is an herb for bruises and all sick cattle, to be used with judgment and skill.

9 And again, hot drinks are not for the body or belly.

10 And again, verily I say unto you, all wholesome herbs God hath ordained for the constitution, nature, and use of man—

11 Every herb in the season thereof, and every fruit in the season thereof; all these to be used with prudence and thanksgiving.

12 Yea, flesh also of beasts and of the fowls of the air, I, the Lord, have ordained for the use of man with thanksgiving; nevertheless they are to be used sparingly;

13 And it is pleasing unto me that they should not be used, only in times of winter, or of cold, or famine.

8. Spirits



This one is very unique to the LDS faith. Basically, everyone on earth now was a spirit in the pre-existence. When we die, our spirits are separated from our bodies and if we were good they go to “spirit paradise.” If we were bad they go to “spirit prison.” The spirit world exists as a place for spirits to go while awaiting the second coming.

D and C 138: 8-14
8 “By which also he went and preached unto the spirits in prison;

9 “Which sometime were disobedient, when once the long-suffering of God waited in the days of Noah, while the ark was a preparing, wherein few, that is, eight souls were saved by water.” (1 Peter 3:18—20.)

10 “For for this cause was the gospel preached also to them that are dead, that they might be judged according to men in the flesh, but live according to God in the spirit.” (1 Peter 4:6.)

11 As I pondered over these things which are written, the eyes of my understanding were opened, and the Spirit of the Lord rested upon me, and I saw the hosts of the dead, both small and great.

12 And there were gathered together in one place an innumerable company of the spirits of the just, who had been faithful in the testimony of Jesus while they lived in mortality;

13 And who had offered sacrifice in the similitude of the great sacrifice of the Son of God, and had suffered tribulation in their Redeemer’s name.

14 All these had departed the mortal life, firm in the hope of a glorious resurrection, through the grace of God the Father and his Only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ.

7. Modern Revelation



Almost everyone who knows anything about the Mormon religion knows they have a prophet. What many don’t know, is anything that the prophet says in official capacity is considered official canon.

D and C 43: 2-9
2 For behold, verily, verily, I say unto you, that ye have received a commandment for a law unto my church, through him whom I have appointed unto you to receive commandments and revelations from my hand.

3 And this ye shall know assuredly—that there is none other appointed unto you to receive commandments and revelations until he be taken, if he abide in me.

4 But verily, verily, I say unto you, that none else shall be appointed unto this gift except it be through him; for if it be taken from him he shall not have power except to appoint another in his stead.

5 And this shall be a law unto you, that ye receive not the teachings of any that shall come before you as revelations or commandments;

6 And this I give unto you that you may not be deceived, that you may know they are not of me.

7 For verily I say unto you, that he that is ordained of me shall come in at the gate and be ordained as I have told you before, to teach those revelations which you have received and shall receive through him whom I have appointed.

8 And now, behold, I give unto you a commandment, that when ye are assembled together ye shall instruct and edify each other, that ye may know how to act and direct my church, how to act upon the points of my law and commandments, which I have given.

9 And thus ye shall become instructed in the law of my church, and be sanctified by that which ye have received, and ye shall bind yourselves to act in all holiness before me—

6. Jesus visited the Americas



The Book of Mormon is a book of LDS scripture that takes place during the same time as the Bible and takes place on the American continent. It follows the stories of two tribes who descended from the family of Lehi. After Jesus’ resurrection LDS people believe he visited the peoples of the Americas.

3 Nephi 11: 7-12
7 Behold my Beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased, in whom I have glorified my name—hear ye him.

8 And it came to pass, as they understood they cast their eyes up again towards heaven; and behold, they saw a Man descending out of heaven; and he was clothed in a white robe; and he came down and stood in the midst of them; and the eyes of the whole multitude were turned upon him, and they durst not open their mouths, even one to another, and wist not what it meant, for they thought it was an angel that had appeared unto them.

9 And it came to pass that he stretched forth his hand and spake unto the people, saying:

10 Behold, I am Jesus Christ, whom the prophets testified shall come into the world.

11 And behold, I am the alight and the life of the world; and I have drunk out of that bitter cup which the Father hath given me, and have glorified the Father in taking upon me the sins of the world, in the which I have suffered the will of the Father in all things from the beginning.

12 And it came to pass that when Jesus had spoken these words the whole multitude fell to the earth; for they remembered that it had been prophesied among them that Christ should show himself unto them after his ascension into heaven.

5. The Nature of God



While most religions believe in God, the LDS religion believes in God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit as separate beings. They also believe that God, Jesus and resurrected beings have bodies of “flesh and bone.”

D and C 129:1-5
1 There are two kinds of beings in heaven, namely: Angels, who are resurrected personages, having bodies of flesh and bones—

2 For instance, Jesus said: Handle me and see, for a spirit hath not flesh and bones, as ye see me have.

3 Secondly: the spirits of just men made perfect, they who are not resurrected, but inherit the same glory.

4 When a messenger comes saying he has a message from God, offer him your hand and request him to shake hands with you.

5 If he be an angel he will do so, and you will feel his hand.

D and C 130: 22-23
22 The Father has a body of flesh and bones as tangible as man’s; the Son also; but the Holy Ghost has not a body of flesh and bones, but is a personage of Spirit. Were it not so, the Holy Ghost could not dwell in us.

23 A man may receive the Holy Ghost, and it may descend upon him and not tarry with him.

4. Priesthood



In the LDS religion any worthy male can be given the priesthood and is given specific duties. Black people were not allowed to have the priesthood until 1978. Females are not allowed to have the priesthood.

D and C 107: 1-51 There are, in the church, two priesthoods, namely, the Melchizedek and Aaronic, including the Levitical Priesthood.

2 Why the first is called the Melchizedek Priesthood is because Melchizedek was such a great high priest.

3 Before his day it was called the Holy Priesthood, after the Order of the Son of God.

4 But out of respect or reverence to the name of the Supreme Being, to avoid the too frequent repetition of his name, they, the church, in ancient days, called that priesthood after Melchizedek, or the Melchizedek Priesthood.

5 All other authorities or offices in the church are appendages to this priesthood.

Official Declaration – 2, 1978
Aware of the promises made by the prophets and presidents of the Church who have preceded us that at some time, in God’s eternal plan, all of our brethren who are worthy may receive the priesthood, and witnessing the faithfulness of those from whom the priesthood has been withheld, we have pleaded long and earnestly in behalf of these, our faithful brethren, spending many hours in the Upper Room of the Temple supplicating the Lord for divine guidance.

3. Multiple Heavens



In LDS doctrine there are three heavens: the Celestial Kingdom, Terrestrial Kingdom, and Telestial Kingdom. The Celestial is the highest, where God and the ones who followed his law reside. The Terrestrial is the middle, where people who followed the Law of Moses reside. The Telestial is the lowest, where the ones who followed carnal law reside.

D and C 76: 94-98
94 They who dwell in his presence are the church of the Firstborn; and they see as they are seen, and know as they are known, having received of his fulness and of his grace;

95 And he makes them equal in power, and in might, and in dominion.

96 And the glory of the celestial is one, even as the glory of the sun is one.

97 And the glory of the terrestrial is one, even as the glory of the moon is one.

98 And the glory of the telestial is one, even as the glory of the stars is one; for as one star differs from another star in glory, even so differs one from another in glory in the telestial world;

2. Forgiveness



In LDS theology you can be forgiven for any sin, save two. First, denying the Holy Spirit, and second, murder. Also, God is infinitely forgiving, until the second coming. After that, you end up where you end up, no matter what. There are no second chances. Period.

D and C 76: 43-45
43 Who glorifies the Father, and saves all the works of his hands, except those sons of perdition who deny the Son after the Father has revealed him.

44 Wherefore, he saves all except them—they shall go away into everlasting punishment, which is endless punishment, which is eternal punishment, to reign with the devil and his angels in eternity, where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched, which is their torment—

45 And the end thereof, neither the place thereof, nor their torment, no man knows;

D and C 18: 42
18 And now, behold, I speak unto the church. Thou shalt not kill; and he that kills shall not have forgiveness in this world, nor in the world to come.

D and C 76: 111-112
111 For they shall be judged according to their works, and every man shall receive according to his own works, his own dominion, in the mansions which are prepared;

112 And they shall be servants of the Most High; but where God and Christ dwell they cannot come, worlds without end.

1. Multiple Worlds and Multiple Gods



This deserves some explanation. Mormons believe that God created multiple worlds and each world has people living on it. They also believe that multiple Gods exist but each has their own universe. We are only subject to our God and if we obtain the highest level of heaven we can become gods ourselves.

D and C 76: 2424 That by him, and through him, and of him, the worlds are and were created, and the inhabitants thereof are begotten sons and daughters unto God.

D and C 93: 10
10 The worlds were made by him; men were made by him; all things were made by him, and through him, and of him.

Moses 1: 33
33 And worlds without number have I created; and I also created them for mine own purpose; and by the Son I created them, which is mine Only Begotten.

D and C 76: 108
108 Then shall he be crowned with the crown of his glory, to sit on the throne of his power to reign forever and ever.

D and C 131: 1-5
1 In the celestial glory there are three heavens or degrees;

2 And in order to obtain the highest, a man must enter into this order of the priesthood [meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage];

3 And if he does not, he cannot obtain it.

4 He may enter into the other, but that is the end of his kingdom; he cannot have an increase.

5 (May 17th, 1843.) The more sure word of prophecy means a man’s knowing that he is sealed up unto eternal life, by revelation and the spirit of prophecy, through the power of the Holy Priesthood.

Ok, those are Mitt Romney's Top 10 Bizarre Beliefs. 
But there's one more.....

11.  Man-made Global Warming

Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney broke with Republican orthodoxy on Friday by saying he believes that humans are responsible, at least to some extent, for climate change.


“I believe the world is getting warmer, and I believe that humans have contributed to that,” he told a crowd of about 200 at a town hall meeting in Manchester, New Hampshire.

“It’s important for us to reduce our emissions of pollutants and greenhouse gases that may be significant contributors.”…

In addressing climate change and energy policy, Romney called on the United States to break its dependence on foreign oil, and expand alternative energies including solar, wind, nuclear and clean coal.

Notice that he didn't say "Climate Change", or cover his bets in any way.  Mr. Romney is accustomed to ridicule and doubled down on "Global Warming".  I applaud his courage. 

If Romney had stopped his press conference to advocate prayer as a means of changing the weather, he would have been ridiculed mercilessly. 

But Mitt supports wind power in an effort to change the weather.  Boldy, and without blinking.  No one in the mainstream media will criticize him for this, no one will compare goals with results, and no one will laugh.  But you can bet your ass that the Mainstream Media will ask Romney if he really believes that Jesus once came to America.  
  
Putting up windmills is a colossal waste, and future generations will look back on our new west Texas windmills the way we look at putting gargoyles on the sides of cathedrals, burying New Age crystals in your house foundation, or any other superstition.
 
Wind power is almost like being a Baptist.  Parts of it are silly, but nobody laughs. 

A letter to my unborn grandchildren about ObamaCare ®.

To my grandchildren, who probably won't be born until around the year 2020,

By the time you're old enough to care anything about reading this, I'll probably be dead.  Please come see me at Greenwood Cemetery in Fort Worth, Texas.  If things go as planned I won't be in a grave, but in a Sepulchre - ideally, a very white one. 

There's a kid named Josh Ritter whose music I really like.  If he's still alive and still making music, could you please drop by and play some of his new CD's in the cemetery for me?  Or his MP3's?  Or 8-tracks?  Or whatever people are now using to play music?  It doesn't matter. 

The reason I'm leaving you this message is that I want you to understand how good we had it in the U.S. in the year 2011.    I'm afraid that my generations is not going to leave you very much to work with.  (This is off-topic, but on behalf of my generation, I apologize for leaving you with that massive national debt.  I hope your Chinese creditors are going easy on you, and allowing you to work it off on the weekends.)
 
Back to my point....Several months ago, the U.S. government passed a set of regulations that we're calling ObamaCare ®.   Our previous system had its faults, among which were over-regulation, insurance not being allowed to cross state lines, and excessive credentialing.  But people came here from all over the world for medical treatment. 

During this same time period (I'm writing this in June of 2011, and I have no idea what kind of device you'll be using to read this in 2035),  England's socialized medical system had a goal of getting people into their emergency rooms in four hours.  That's four hours from the time a patient showed up until they were admitted, transferred, died, or were discharged.  Yeah, people died outside while waiting to be admitted to National Health Service hospitals.  The British government had a goal of treating all patients in 18 weeks.  (To us, this is a ridiculously long period of time.)  One British guy that I've corresponded with a few times has started something called the National Death Service blog.

For reasons that I still don't understand, we decided to imitate the British system.  Once again, on behalf of my generation, I apologize. 

Just so you'll believe these things once existed, here are some pictures of billboards advertising the emergency room services of American hospitals in the Year Of Our Lord 2011.  Our 2011 hospitals actually bragged about their short waiting times !!   At the time this picture was taken (using a primitive device we called a camera), the waiting time at this hospital's emergency room was 13 minutes. 

Think of how long you now have to wait and wait and wait to see the government-approved doctor for your zip code.  Compare that agony to this:

   Don't you wish that your U.S. Government hospitals still had to compete for your business? 

I hope you kids are doing well, and are staying healthy, and don't need hospitals.

Once again, sorry about that national debt.  I bitched and moaned about it online and tried to get people to vote Libertarian.  It was the best I could do. 

There was another guy named John Prine whose music I really liked.  If you could find his CD called "Bruised Orange" and play it outside my sepulchre, I'd appreciate it.   

I wish I could see you now,

Your Grandfather

***************

I don't know if these links will work in the year 2035, but the billboard pictures came from here and here and here and here and here. 

Here's John Prine doing "That's The Way The World Goes Round" from that "Bruised Orange" CD.  I really liked this song.   

Obamacare: The Comic Book

Some of you might remember this Barackaganda comic book, the one where Spiderman and the newly-inaugurated Teleprompter Jesus teamed up to fight evil.  Or success.  Or profit.  Or high employment.  Or something like that. 

As quoted in Reason magazine, someone is about to take it to the next level.  You see, ObamaCare® is greatness.  Pure undiluted greatness.  That doesn't explain why so many unions and corporations are demanding and getting waivers from it, but still....  It's greatness.

The great unwashed masses just can't understand it.

That's why we're getting....ObamaCare® - The Comic Book !!!!
Maybe we'll like it better when we don't have to wade through the 2700 pages in the Senate bill and the 6000 pages of requirements that the program has added to the Federal register. 

Heck, I wish I had thought of it.  Instead of 10,000 pages of regulations, lets boil it down to "illustrated, bite-sized panels". 
But enough of me, and my inability to contain my excitement.  Here's Reason:

The MIT economics whiz who crafted President Obama’s national health-care overhaul now plans to explain the complex and controversial plan to the masses — in one long comic book.


Jonathan Gruber, a nationally recognized health economist who devised the economic underpinnings of Obamacare (Gruber hates the term), said his three comic-loving kids encouraged him to use the hip format of the graphic novel — basically an expensive comic published in book form — to tell the story of the complicated plan to 300 million Americans.

Unlike most comic books, Gruber’s won’t have a superhero like Batman or Captain America or a villain like the Joker, he said.
“I’m going to use the facts to tell the story,” Gruber, 45, told the Pulse yesterday. “I’m the narrator guiding the reader through the law. It’ll have lots of pictures and text.”
Hill and Wang, a division of publishing powerhouse Farrar, Straus and Giroux, plans to release Gruber’s book, tentatively titled “Health Care Reform: What It Is, Why It’s Necessary, How it Works” this fall.

And if that's not enough to have you hanging out with the other geeks at the Comics Shop on release day, here's The Boston Herald:

Even one of the national health plan’s fiercest critics, Michael F. Cannon of the free market Cato Institute in Washington D.C., tipped his hat to Gruber’s comic book.

“I’ve got to hand it to him,” said Cannon, the think tank’s director of health policy studies. “It’s a brilliant idea.”

Ok, seriously....I know the Cato Institute.  I've met people who work there.  Michael F. Cannon of the Cato Institute is not quite telling the truth, IMHO.  He does not think ObamaCare® The Comic Book is a brilliant idea.  He's giving Jonathan Gruber enough rope (and encouragement) to hang himself. 

Michael F. Cannon and the Cato Institute had rather have access to this comic book than a free month in The Playboy Archives.  They can't wait to get a copy.  Neither can I. 

*******************************************

Here's a shout-out to my ex-boss, Marvel Variants.  (We're still employed by the same company, he's just put a buffer between us, a new guy who will soon be known on these pages as Colonel Klink.  The new guy looks a LOT like Werner Klemperer.) 

Mr. Variants, you have made a ton of money by hoarding and re-selling "variant" copies of comic books.  That's why your blog is called....Marvel Variants. 

Do you think that Mr. Gruber will publish a variant SEIU version of his book, outlining the waivers that they've received from the program?  Will there be a collectible United Auto Workers Waiver cover?  Perhaps one that sells for a different price? 
Mr. Variants, do you have any interest at all in persuading Mr. Gruber to issue a variant Baptist Retirement version of the comic book?  Complete with a cover depicting Obama shaking hands with the director of the Southern Baptist Annuity Board ?  (Hey, look at #714 on the waiver list.)

I can't wait.  I just can't wait.   

Fauxbama crushed by a giant fish sandwich

From Vanity Fair, via Althouse, via Instapundit comes the KFC Commercial that they don't want you to ever see again. 
Two of my China trips were spent in a high rise apartment building over a KFC.  They love that stuff over there, and spend major amounts of Yuen getting kids into the restaurants.  Every 30 minutes or so, some militant marketing music comes over the speakers and the cashiers and cooks come out from behind the counters with KFC crowns for all the Little Emperors and they go through a five minute dance/aerobic routine centered around the glory of fried chicken. 
Lordy, I love that country. 

Anyway, here's the offending video.  If you're offended by the idea of a Fauxbama getting slammed by a giant fish sandwich, don't watch. 

Japan's Nanny State Gone Wild - A license is required to administer coffee enemas

From WeirdAsiaNews, with a fresh coat of Whitening to the International Liberty blog:

Police in Chiba Prefecture arrested three men this month on suspicion of violating Japan’s Medical Practitioners Law by providing coffee enemas without the proper medical qualifications, according to local media reports.

Chikayoshi Hishiki (55) and two associates offered coffee-based enemas as a beauty treatment at their now-defunct alternative medicine clinics, according to leading daily Sankei Shimbun.

The three suspects denied any wrongdoing, claiming they only provided the equipment and cleaned up afterwards, while the clients themselves administered the procedure, the report said.

Some Japanese have become interested in filling their bums with java, believing they have discovered a secret dieting technique used by celebrities in the US and Europe.
George & Oliver Co., a Tokyo-based online marketer of health and beauty products, has jumped on this movement, offering do-it-yourself coffee rectal infusion kits for 9,240 yen (approx. $110).

The kit includes an enema bag, a tube of gel and six cans of “Café COLON” coffee, which is unlikely to become a Starbucks coffee-of-the day anytime soon.

Here's the International Liberty take on this crisis:

Too bad the gift-giving season is already over....

I’m sure these Japanese rules exist to unfairly enrich that nation’s medical profession. I can’t help but wonder, though, whether Japan’s bureaucrats have covered all the bases. Are tea enemas also covered by the regulations? What about if you use “fair trade certified” coffee from Starbucks? Are people allowed to buy toilets with built-in enemas? And what about bidets? Surely regular people can’t be trusted to operate such equipments without some sort of government involvement!

And now for a series of sentences I never thought I would type.  Never, ever, never....  The picture of the coffee enema T-shirt came from here.  The picture of the coffee enema kit and equipment came from here.  To read some stuff on a Soldier Of Fortune/Mercenary discussion board about the British Army pioneering a rectal infusion technique during the Falkland Islands war, go here.  The vintage coffee ad came from Flickr.  This post was written in, and therefore sponsored by, Starbucks. 

Can someone please explain to me why the president of the United States is letting Bill Clinton fill in for him at press conferences?

Here's the New York Holy Times:

With Mr. Obama standing largely silently at his side, Mr. Clinton took over the lectern to lend his backing to the tax compromise the White House reached this week with Republicans. And then Mr. Clinton went on, for half an hour, answering questions and holding forth on topics from triangulation to Haiti to the mortgage crisis and the nuclear arms treaty with Russia.


Even after the 44th president excused himself and left the room, the 42nd went on. On cable TV, Mr. Clinton’s presence in front of the blue backdrop with the White House logo was familiar, as were the wagging finger and the occasional bitten lip.

Mr. Clinton and Mr. Obama turned up suddenly after meeting privately together for almost 90 minutes in the Oval Office. With no warning to Mr. Obama’s aides, the two men wandered through the nearly deserted West Wing — most staff members were at a holiday party — and tried to get into the briefing room but found the door locked. Only after they finally encountered Robert Gibbs, the White House press secretary, were arrangements made to turn on the lights and microphone and assemble the press corps.

This really did happen.  It's on television, and you can hear about it on the radio.  Pictures were taken.  Recorders were rolling.  Bill Clinton is addressing the press on behalf of The Teleprompter Jesus.  What in the heck is going on in there?  Does anyone know?  Can anyone explain it? 

OBAMA THEN LEFT THE PRESS CONFERENCE, SAYING THAT HE AND MICHELLE HAD TO GET TO A CHRISTMAS PARTY !!!!!  HE LET BILL FREAIN' CLINTON FINISH HIS PRESS CONFERENCE !!!!!  
I MEAN, I'M NOT A HUGE FAN OF GEORGE W., BUT CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT WOULDA HAPPENED IF GEORGE W. HAD TURNED THE PRESIDENTIAL PODIUM OVER TO HIS DADDY ???
Here's what Iowahawk had to say:

WASHINGTON DC - Ending weeks of speculation and rumors, President-Elect Barack Obama today named Bill Clinton to join his incoming administration as President of the United States, where he will head the federal government's executive branch.


"I am pleased that Bill Clinton has agreed to come out of retirement to head up this crucial post in my administration," said Obama. "He brings a lifetime of previous executive experience as Governor of Arkansas and President of the United States, and has worked closely with most of the members of my Cabinet."

And then....

"Let's face it, it's obvious I'm in way over my head here," explained Obama. "Anyone paying attention knows I am a disaster waiting to happen, and who can blame them? I mean, just look at the stock market. That's why I think it's in the best interest of the country that I hand over the reins to people who, whatever their ethical shortcomings, at least have a faint clue about what they're doing. Come on, man. I've got a 401-k, too."


While the naming of Clinton appears to have momentarily calmed jittery financial markets, it sparked ripples of disapproval at liberal websites like Huffington Post and DailyKos. The progressive blogosphere was an early key source of support for Mr. Obama's candidacy, but a steady stream of Clinton-era appointees since the election has left some charging that he had betrayed his campaign promises to bring them to Washington as part of a sweeping culture of change -- a charge that Mr. Obama vehemently accepted.

"Oh, for crissakes. Are you kidding me? Are you friggin' kidding me?" asked Obama. "Of course I betrayed those goddamned idiots. Have any of you actually spent five minutes with them? I have, unfortunately. Nothing personal, but I wouldn't trust these internet windowlickers with a plastic spork from Taco Bell, let alone a freaking $3 trillion dollar budget global superpower. Look, I may be naive, but I'm not stupid. And if Kose or Koz or whatever the f*** his name is thinks for one second I give a rat's ass about who he wants in charge of the Treasury Department, he's even stupider than he looks."

Hit the Iowahawk link above to read the whole thing.  It is priceless. 
It really has come to this.  Bill Clinton is now filling in.  At least we have an adult in the room. 
Here's the New York Times picture of Obama leaving the leader of the free world podium to go to a party or play some basketball or mess with Sasha and Malia's Wii or something. 

My trip to the Creation Evidence Museum in Glen Rose, Texas

This past Saturday I went to the Creation Evidence Museum in Glen Rose, Texas. 
Admission is two dollars, and if I ever find myself in that part of Texas again, I'll gladly pay three. 

The Creation Evidence Museum is the work of Dr.(sic) Carl Baugh.  Go here to read about Baugh's academic credentials. 
Now that I've done some reading on the guy, this place might replace Lee Harvey Oswald's grave as my favorite destination to take out of town guests. 
Cedric Katesby, get ready.  If you ever make it to the U.S., we're going. 

The place is a shapeless mass of....things and ideas and stuff that "isn't even wrong" and generic rocks and hyperbaric chambers and glass cases of unrelated fossils and evangelical kitsch. 

You begin your museum experience with a 30-minute video of Dr. Baugh explaining how the fossil record proves the 6-day creation account found in Genesis.  I can't find the exact video on YouTube, but this one works just as well....
Don't bother watching or listening.  While you're reading, just hit play and let the pseudo-scientific gobbledygook bathe you in the hyperbaric chamber of Dr. Baugh's mind.  More on the hyperbaric chambers in a moment. 



Baugh's timeline is illustrated by a series of paintings, each one illustrating the condition of our planet on that day of creation.  A lot of his focus is on a "canopy" that was once over the earth (about 10 miles up), and this canopy of hydrogen and oxygen (known in academic circles as "water") remained in place until Noah's flood.  All land was in one mass until the flood, and it was only then that North America split off from Europe, South America broke away from Africa, and a sprinkling of fossils found their way onto mountaintops.  Or something. 

Here's some of the general flavor of what Baugh claims was going on during one of the creation days.  I don't have the patience to figure out which one....

The harmonic creation was established to endure forever. A crystalline firmament suspended above the planet filtered out short-wave radiation, and with its physical structure in place universal radio signals serenaded the earth with morning melodies. Planets in the Solar System were distributed at harmonic intervals on a large scale, consistent with the energy fields living seeds produce on a small scale.

I could write for days about that last sentence.  Planets in the Solar System were distributed at harmonic intervals on a large scale, consistent with the energy fields living seeds produce on a small scale.  What does that mean?  Is it possible for it to mean anything?  The planets were distributed at harmonic intervals?  And these intervals are "consistent" with the energy fields that seeds produce?  The (musical) intervals are consistent with the energy produced by seeds?  Ahhh....but it is on a smaller scale.  The seeds, as compared to the planets.   

Baugh continues:

The radiant sun transformed and ruled the day, and its glowing energy extending into the firmament illuminated the night. The reflecting moon added a romantic invitation to the sky. The stars produced measurable references by which time could be told; their colors and formations were as varied and imaginative as eternal reflection could appreciate.

Yeah. 

Ok, on to the hyperbaric chambers.  You'll never know it by going through the museum, but there are two hyperbaric chambers in the place.  Unless you're in the know, you'd think they were some leftover East Texas oilfield equipment, painted white and outfitted with some Disney-esque control panels and viewing windows.  Here's an explanation from a previous visitor, a guy who didn't have nearly as much fun at the museum as I did:

The Creation Evidence Museum also includes a large magenta-windowed "hyperbaric biosphere" in which Baugh claims to have recreated "earth's original pre-flood environment" (Figure 3). According to Baugh, the biosphere — which is connected to an oscilloscope — increases organisms' life-spans by 300%; it also detoxifies copperheads' venom. Near the biosphere is an aquarium in which Baugh grows "vegetarian piranhas." Baugh believes his discoveries support the vast life-spans of biblical patriarchs such as Adam (who allegedly lived to be 930), and the harmonious environment (that is, no carnivores or death) before Eve introduced sin into the world. Baugh hopes to grow dinosaurs in the biosphere. On the museum's walls, visitors can view paintings in which pre-flood children play with a baby Apatosaurus in the nearby Paluxy River. Visitors can purchase these replicas, as well as books, posters, and other materials such as certificates honoring recipients as "visionaries" for "supporting truth in education."

Get it now?  The hyperbaric chambers recreate life the way it was before the flood, before the "canopy" of hydrogen and oxygen came flooding down on Noah. 
Another item of interest is this:

See the human footprint covered by the dinosaur footprint?  That proves that humans and dinosaurs existed at the same time, right?  And that we really could have an earth that's 6,500 years old.  Readers wanting to scoff at this discovery can go here, and scoff up a storm. 
All I'm going to say is that compared to all the other dino tracks in Glen Rose, this thing is a little too perfect. 

There were other exhibits that proved Creationism by using the pictograms found in Mandarin Chinese.  The display only offered a hint of the theory.  You have to buy a DVD to get the full story. 

There was something going on in one display of meteor fragments, comparing the meteors to the 7 seals and trumpets in the Book Of Revelation.  I never did figure that one out. 

They have a massive painting of Noah loading all the critters onto the ark.  Note the soon-to-be-drowned scoffers in the bottom left corner.  Velociraptors are strangely absent. 

You can purchase paperback copies of Noah's Ark: A Feasibility Study in the museum gift shop. 

And they have Brontosaurus neckties with this verse from Job 40:15 - "Now look at Behemoth which I made along with you - he eats grass like an ox". 

Get it?  Get it?  Along with you?  Like, at the same time?  And your footprints are all mixed up with each other? 

I'm gonna start going to NFL games and holding up that verse in the end zone. 

Here's an entry for The Apostrophe Abuse Blog.  In a freakin' museum, ferchrissakes. 



But the main thing you'll notice is the big statue.  You hesitate to ask who it represents, but in the back of your mind, you know.
As you go through the museum, the statue's unblinking eyes look down on you and your group, lovingly, compassionately, but also giving the impression that he's not going to tolerate any dissent.  In his right hand he holds the names from The Lambs Book Of Life....  Or perhaps they're the names of The Just And The Unjust?  The Tibetan Book Of The Dead? 

We'll never know what he is holding; his Sphinx-like gaze betrays nothing. 

You ask why he's there, why Dr. Carl Baugh's Creation Evidence Museum has him up there, larger than life, looking down and casting judgement on believer and skeptic alike. 

I have no freakin' clue. 

But yeah, overlooking the entire Creation Evidence Museum is a massive statue of Dallas Cowboys coach Tom Landry. 

I loved every inch of this place.  Loved it, loved it, loved it. 
Some of the pics came from Flikr.