My Sermon at the NORML meeting

My buddy Tristan Tucker asked me to speak at the recent DFW/NORML meeting. 
NORML is the National Organization For The Reform Of Marijuana Laws. 

I decided to take on a Southern Baptist Preacher persona and give the smokers and tokers a sermon.  It was well-received. 

BTW, only a Libertarian would selectively edit the Old Testament to improve the flow.  Yes, we really do believe we can improve on stuff supposedly written by God. 

Enjoy. 

My name is the Reverend Doctor Allen Patterson, and I bring you greetings from the First Church Of The Tarrant County Libertarian Party!!  Our text for today is from the Book of 1^st Samuel, Chapter 8.

Look it up on your phone so you won’t think I’m making this stuff up.  Way back in the day, Israel was governed by a small group of judges, and their only job was to intervene in disputes, enforce the laws of the land, and protect the borders. 

Does that sound nice?  Yeah, that sounds nice.  1 Samuel, Chapter 8. 

⁴ One day the people of Israel came to Samuel The Prophet ⁵ and said, “You are an old man.  Now we want a king to be our leader,  just like all the other nations. We want a king!  Choose one for us!”

⁶ Samuel was upset to hear the leaders say they wanted a king, so he prayed about it. ⁷ The Lord answered:

“They aren’t rejecting you and your judges, Samuel.  They’re rejecting me. ⁹ Do everything they ask, but warn them and tell them how a king will treat them.

¹⁰ Samuel told the people who were asking for a king what the Lord had said:

¹¹ If you have a king, this is how he will treat you. He will force your sons to join his army. Some of them will drive his chariots, and some will be in his cavalry.  Your other children will have to farm the king’s land and harvest his crops, or make the king’s weapons and parts for his chariots. <sup>13 

And the people STILL said “Give us a king!”</sup> 

And Samuel said “Your daughters will have to make his perfume or do his cooking and baking.” And the people Still said “Give us a king!”

¹⁴ The king will take your best fields, as well as your vineyards, and olive orchards and give them to his own officials. ¹⁵ He will also take a tenth of your grain and grapes and give it to his officers and his officials.  (Can you imagine the government taking only a tenth??)

And the people Still said “Give us a king!”

¹⁶ And Samuel said “this king will take your best young men and your donkeys and make them do his work. ¹⁷ He will also take a tenth of your sheep and goats. You will become the king’s slaves, ¹⁸ and you will finally cry out for the Lord to save you from the king you wanted.

^19-20 The people would not listen to Samuel. “No!” they said. “We want to be like other nations. We want a king to rule us and lead us in battle.”

²¹ Samuel listened to them and then told the Lord exactly what the people had said.

And the Lord answered. “So…..Give them a king.”

Thus ends the reading of today’s word from the Lord. 

DFW/NORML, for 3,000 years we’ve known how kings and governments behave.  And yet some of us still say “Give Us A King!”  There's a little girl named Emma sitting at this front table.  She's totally innocent.  Never spent a dime in her life.  Our kings and their government and their reckless spending have put Emma $50,000.00 in debt.  If  Emma’s foolish enough to grow up to be a taxpayer, her share of the national debt is $110,000.00

Emma's share of the unfunded retirements, Social Security payments and other liabilities?  ONE MILLION DOLLARS. 

And some of us still say “Give Us A King”. 

The Richard Nixon through Barack Obama Drug War has killed 40,000 civilians in Mexico.  We have as many as 800,000 people in prison for non-violent drug offenses.  It costs 40 to 50,000 each, per year, to keep these people in a steel cage. 

And we still say “Give Us A King.”

George Bush, Bill Clinton, Sarah Palin, Newt Gingrich, Barack Obama, Al Gore, Arnold Schwarzenegger and RICK FREAKIN’ SANTORUM all affirm that they have smoked marijuana, all of them would’ve had their careers ended if they’d been busted as kids, and ALL OF THEM STILL SUPPORT THE WAR ON MARIJUANA.  And their parties still say “Give Us A King”. 

Because of the war on marijuana, Barack Obama has more black men living in cages than Jefferson Davis and the Confederacy did at the start of the Civil War.

And the people still say “Give Us A King”. 

Church family, my brothers and sisters at DFW/NORML, we are all sinners.  There is none who is righteous, no, not one.  We have all, in our sinful pasts, voted for Republicans and Democrats, the people who got us into the mess predicted in the Book of First Samuel 3,000 years ago.  We’ve all done it. 

But there is a way out.  And it’s called The Tarrant County Libertarian Party.   Are you ready to end the war on marijuana?  Are you ready to get the government out of your life?  ARE YOU READY? 

Brother Ken Stanford is waiting at the table in the back, along with the rest of our trained counseling staff.  Though your sins be as scarlet, we can make them white as snow.  Though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.  There is no other way, there is no other path.  If the other parties could get you out of this hole you’re in, they would’ve done it by now instead of digging it deeper. 

ARE YOU READY TO MAKE A DECISION FOR CHRIST???

So….

May the Lord Bless you and keep you, May the Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious unto you.

May God give you the grace never to sell yourself short;

Grace to risk something big for something good

Grace to remember that the world is now too dangerous for anything but truth and too small for anything but love and tolerance for all….

So may God take your minds and think through them,

May God take your lips and speak through them,  And may God take your hearts, and set them on fire. 

Amen. 

King Barack, King Canute, and Debbie Wasserman Schultz

Here's the legend of King Canute, a wise monarch who knew that his power was limited. 

Long ago, England was ruled by a king named Canute. Like many leaders and men of power, Canute was surrounded by people who were always praising him. Every time he walked into a room, the flattery began.

"You are the greatest man that ever lived," one would say.

"O king, there can never be another as mighty as you," another would insist.

"Your highness, there is nothing you cannot do," someone would smile.

"Great Canute, you are the monarch of all," another would sing. "Nothing in this world dares to disobey you."

The king was a man of sense, and he grew tired of hearing such foolish speeches.

One day he was walking by the seashore, and his officers and courtiers were with him, praising him as usual. Canute decided to teach them a lesson.

"So you say I am the greatest man in the world?" he asked them.

"O king," they cried, "there never has been anyone as mighty as you, and there never be anyone so great, ever again!"

"And you say all things obey me?" Canute asked.

"Absolutely!" they said. "The world bows before you, and gives you honor."

"I see," the king answered. "In that case, bring me my chair, and we will go down to the water."

"At once, your majesty!" They scrambled to carry his royal chair over the sands.

"Bring it closer to the sea," Canute called. "Put it right here, right at the water's edge." He sat down and surveyed the ocean before him. "I notice the tide is coming in. Do you think it will stop if I give the command?"

His officers were puzzled, but they did not dare say no. "Give the order, O great king, and it will obey," one of then assured him.

"Very well. Sea," cried Canute, "I command you to come no further! Waves, stop your rolling!. Surf, stop your pounding! Do not dare touch my feet!"

He waited a moment, quietly, and a tiny wave rushed up the sand and lapped at his feet.

"How dare you!" Canute shouted. "Ocean, turn back now! I have ordered you to retreat before me, and now you must obey! Go back!"

And in answer another wave swept forward and curled around the king's feet. The tide came in, just as it always did. The water rose higher and higher. It came up around the king's chair, and wet not only his feet, but also his robe. His officers stood before him, alarmed, and wondering whether he was not mad.

"Well, my friends," Canute said, "it seems I do not have quite so much power as you would have me believe. Perhaps you have learned something today. Perhaps now you will remember there is only one King who is all-powerful, and it is he who rules the sea, and holds the ocean in the hollow of his hand. I suggest you reserve your praises for him."

Cool story, right?  You could say that it's about the limits of power.  It's a warning about flattery.  One could also claim that it's a cautionary tale outlining the difference between a decree and an accomplishment.  Just because the king says it's gonna happen doesn't mean it's gonna happen. 

Flash forward a thousand years.  Here's Obama courtier and flatterer-in-chief Debbie Wasserman Schultz on yesterday's Meet The Depressed, as outlined by the great Ann Althouse:

On "Meet the Press" today:

It would take 45 years if the Keystone Pipeline were in place, to produce as much oil as President Obama's policy to — on fuel efficiency standards for American automobiles would in increasing those over the next few years.

David Gregory presses her: "So President Clinton had it wrong when he encouraged President Obama to get behind (the Keystone Pipeline)?" And with a second shot, she makes the point more clearly:

It would take 45 years to produce out of oil shale from the Keystone Pipeline as much oil as we save in the increase in fuel efficiency standards from President Obama's policy that would be implemented by the middle of the next decade.

Is it really that simple?  All King Barry O'Bama of Hyde Park has to do is issue a policy, and the vehicles become more efficient?  They'll suddenly get 56 miles per gallon? 

Hell, let's issue a "standard" on business efficiency.  From now on, no businesses can lose money.  They must all be efficient.  Just send out an executive order from the Royal Desk Of The Community Organizer.   

Dammit, I think he should issue a standard, put in a royal guideline, and send forth a decree on poverty.  From now on, all Americans must earn at least 30K per year.  Write down the decree, have it stamped and sealed, and make it so. 

If Obama can send out a Papal Encyclical that declares the only acceptable average is 56 miles per gallon, why stop there?  Why doesn't he jot down a quick little memo about his desire to fuel Air Force One with nothing but algae, good will, and fairy farts?  According to Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, his deeds and desires are one and the same.  Make it so, Barack.  Please make it so. 

You eventually have to ask yourself....Does Debbie Wasserman Schultz really believe this mess?  Probably. 

Does King Barack really believe that he can wave his mighty hand and have the tides recede?  Or have all vehicles average 56 miles per gallon? 

No.  Listen carefully for 45 seconds.  This is the often-ridiculed speech about government's ability to make the oceans recede.  What he's really saying is this...."If the oceans don't recede, it's your fault.  If auto makers can't average 56 miles per gallon with their vehicles, they're just too dumb to fulfill King Barry's objectives."

All we have to do is dedicate the rest of our lives to accomplishing this pathetic little dude's desires. 

Under God ?

NBC is facing an internet firestorm because they deleted "Under God" from a depiction of The Pledge Of Allegiance. 
Here's Newsbusters:

NBC on Sunday decided to cut the words "under God" from the reading of the Pledge of Allegiance that accompanied the beginning of its coverage of the U.S. Open Golf Championship.
In fact, this happened twice during the show's introduction (video follows courtesy Mark Finkelstein with partial transcript):



Here's a picture from a 1943 yearbook, depicting the flag and the pledge. Notice anything missing?

"Under God" wasn't added to the Pledge Of Allegiance until 1954, during the Red Scare era.  How the nation survived before then remains a mystery. 

We were not founded as a nation "under god". 
The British Empire was, or at least thought of itself that way.  The king ruled by divine right, and to go against him was to go against god's established order.  When Jefferson, Paine, and others started questioning this system, they were reviled as filthy atheists or worse.  We forget what a radical departure from the norm it was for Jefferson to declare that "All men are created equal" in the Declaration Of Independence. 

One other thing about pledges, vows, loyalty oaths, and promises of eternal servitude....   No American should ever pledge total, unquestioning allegiance to anything political.  End of freakin' story. 

Our Pledge Of Allegiance was written by a freakin' Socialist. 

The motivation behind it was to train kiddies to follow their politicians into whatever battles the politicians chose for them to fight. 
Pledging obedience to a piece of cloth, no matter how many people have died for it, is un-American.  Dying for a flag, sacrificing your income for a flag, and proclaiming your unquestioning loyalty to a flag is a leftover relic from the Divine Right Of Kings era. 
Seriously, would you pledge allegiance to Barack Obama?  Mitt Romney?  Anthony Weiner?  The Department Of Motor Vehicles? 
Here's a pic from the 1920's that sums up my argument nicely. 

Pledging allegiance to your government isn't American.  It's Fascist. 

 

What the new Robin Hood movie is really about

You can go here and here and here and here and here and here to read libertarian perspectives on Ridley Scott's (relatively) new Robin Hood movie. 

Or you can go see it and develop your own theory of what it all means. 



Lord have mercy, it's a mess. It's a rousing pro-liberty, anti-tax call to arms, but it's still a total mess. The plot doesn't make a lick of sense, and the movie has more anachronisms than Ye Olde Northe Texas Renaissance Faire.
My favorite? The wooden landing craft that the invading French army (long story) uses to land on the British coastline.  They're near replicas of the metal versions that we used five centuries later to go the opposite direction into Normandy.  I don't think troop transport vessels with a hinged front end were on the market during the Middle Ages. 

Still, the movie is enjoyable if you understand the basic metaphor at its heart.....

King Richard plays George W. Bush, who got his country into debt with a pointless war against Muslims.  Robin Hood plays the returning Iraqi vet, who feels guilty about slaughtering Muslims. 

King Richard dies in battle and is replaced by Barack Obama, played by King John.  This new king cranks the spending even higher, and needs even more taxes. 
 
At one point early in the film, King John actually blames all the continuing high taxes and astronomical debts on the previous king.  If you don't laugh at that point in the movie, you need to watch the news more often.

Friar Tuck, Will Scarlet, Alan A'Dale, Little John some Lost Boys left over from a Peter Pan movie, they all portray various Tea Partiers, Libertarians, Constitutionalists, and Campaign For Liberty members. 

Godfrey, the evil tax collector, does a good turn as Timothy Geithner. 

The Sheriff Of Nottingham portrays Senator Arlen Spector, who tries to play both sides from the middle and gets shunned by everyone. 

That's all you really need to know about the characters, other than Maid Marion.  Maid Marion plays the mandatory female lead who, despite having no military or combat training, shows up in armor at the final battle so she can get knocked unconscious in the middle of the fight and distract Robin Hood from killing Timothy Geithner. 

At one point, King John/Barack Obama burns the new constitution, but stops short of requiring all his subjects to spend money with health insurance companies. 

Before the final fight, King John/Barack Obama, who is totally unqualified to do anything except be his own glorious self, says to the troops “Gentlemen, let’s go to war. It’s my first time – I’ll lead”.  If you don't laugh at that point in the movie, you probably thought that it was ok to vote for a presidential candidate who had absolutely no executive or management experience. 

Fun movie, but I only gave it 6 stars due to sloppiness in the plot and dialogue, plus none of the kings had a court jester portrying Joe Biden. 

Robin Hood, directed by Ridley Scott, and starring Barack Obama, The Tea Party Movement, Timothy Geithner, and George W. Bush, is still showing in theatres.

Let's Get Caesar Involved

I wrote this one in about 30 minutes last night.  It shows. 
Imagine this song done by an old-time Gospel quartet.  Will try to put up a YouTube if time ever allows. 

"Jesus taught the multitudes one day in Galilee,
Must have been five thousand, and they all got hungry....(fermata)
Disciples came to Jesus, and said "Get those people fed.
Jesus turned toward heaven, and this is what he said:

(bass) And he said

Let's get Caesar involved !
Caesar will get your problem solved. 
Go away and let me relax, that's why I pay all that tax,
You need to get Caesar involved. 

Three men saw a traveller that thieves had robbed and beat.
Two men were too busy, but one man stopped to speak (fermata)
"Buddy that looks painful, yeah sometimes life's a bitch. 
Samaritans no longer pull your ass up out of the ditch !

(bass) And he said

Let's get Caesar involved !
He will get the problem solved.
I used to go the 2nd mile, but in your case I think that I'll
Just try to get Caesar involved.

A wedding feast in Cana had just run out of wine,
One man said to Jesus, make us some moonshine (fermata)
But Jesus had no permits, nor a license to distill,
So he said I can't help you, but I know one who will

(bass) And he said

Let's get Caesar involved !
Government will get the problem solved. 
Give to Caesar what is his, next you'll give him all their is,
So let's get Caesar involved.

So if you're on life's highway, pulled down by sin and shame,
Just call on Big Brother, just call out his name (fermata)
Don't call out for your neighbor, or friends and family,
They will just refer you to Washington, D.C.,

(bass) And they'll say

Let's get Caesar involved !
He will get the problem solved. 
If you find that you can't cope, call on Mr. Change and Hope....
That you can get Caesar involved.

(Repeat chorus forever and ever, praising Caesar and thanking him for his great and glorious works.) 

Lord Oxburgh wants to be the J.R. Ewing of carbon capture

From The Times (U.K.):

Lord Oxburgh, the climate science peer, ‘has a conflict of interest’

A member of the House of Lords appointed to investigate the veracity of climate science has close links to businesses that stand to make billions of pounds from low-carbon technology.


Lord Oxburgh is to chair a scientific assessment panel that will examine the published science of the Climatic Research Unit at the University of East Anglia.

The CRU has been accused of manipulating and suppressing data to overstate the dangers from climate change. Professor Phil Jones, its director, has stood down from his post while a separate inquiry, chaired by Sir Muir Russell, takes place into the leaking of e-mails sent by him and his colleagues.

Climate sceptics questioned whether Lord Oxburgh, chairman of the Carbon Capture and Storage Association and the wind energy company Falck Renewables, was truly independent because he led organisations that depended on climate change being seen as an urgent problem.

Andrew Montford, a climate-change sceptic who writes the widely-read Bishop Hill blog, said that Lord Oxburgh had a “direct financial interest in the outcome” of his inquiry.

Lord Oxburgh has said that he believes the need to tackle climate change will make capturing carbon from power plants “a worldwide industry of the same scale as the international oil industry today”.

A great case of hiring a fox to guard the henhouse. 
 
Isn't it funny how so many of the people clamoring for immediate and decisive action on this non-crisis are the ones who stand to make millions from it? 
 
Remember:  If Lord Oxtail can "tackle climate change" by forcing industry to purchase his voodoo machinery, he becomes the J.R. Ewing of carbon capture. 
 

Picture of J.R. Ewing from the Dallas TV program came from here. 

For the Scott Brown truck bomb - Townes Van Zandt's "White Freightliner Blues"

My friend Leslie at Leslie's Omnibus has been keeping up with the election for what people insist on calling Ted Kennedy's senate seat.
It's NOT Ted Kennedy's senate seat. It's the Kennedy FAMILY senate seat. When JFK was elected president, he had a family servant named Ben Smith keep the seat warm until young Teddy came of age (he was not yet 30). Calling it the "Ted Kennedy Seat" does a disservice to the Democratic Party's Constitutional Monarch system.

Note to self: Write a post on why the Democrats have Superdelegates at their conventions and the other political parties don't.

Scott Brown, the Republican from out of nowhere, has caught the attention of The Teleprompter Jesus by driving a truck and mentioning the truck as proof of his just-us-folks credentials. Go here for more info. Obama recently said "So, look, forget the ads. Everybody can run slick ads. Forget the truck. Everybody can buy a truck." Brown responded with "Are you out of your damn mind? With 10% unemployment caused by your insane crap, and you wanting to tax or insure everything with a pulse? You think anybody feels secure enough to go out and buy a truck?" “Mr. President, unfortunately in this economy, not everybody can buy a truck. My goal is to change that by cutting spending, lowering taxes and letting people keep more of their own money.”

That's the essence of the 2010 Massachusetts truck controversy. I'm partial to the libertarian guy who is running as an independent, Joe Kennedy (no relation to the family which has long held the seat due to royal prerogative).

Leslie is asking that everyone post a truck photo or song to commemorate this exchange between Scott Brown and The Teleprompter Jesus. A truck bomb. She should have quite a collection by the time this thing is over with. This is Townes Van Zandt's 'White Freightliner Blues' as performed by Lyle Lovett, Ricky Skaggs, Alison Krauss, Jools Holland, and Faith Hill. (Imagine that lineup as an SAT question, where you're supposed to circle the name that doesn't fit !)



Ok, now you can forget the truck, Martha Coakley, and Scott Brown. GO JOE KENNEDY ! ! ! ! !

More Bowing and Scraping

An Apology To My Online Friends In The British Commonwealth

Hello all,

As you know, we don't think much of royalty in the U.S. As you know, in the United States, we worship the idea of royalty. We re-elect Kennedys and Bushes, and we used to go ga-ga over Princess Diana.

Giving a boxed set of DVD's to Prime Minister Gordon Brown was perhaps excusable as a rookie mistake.
Giving the Queen an iPod was not.
Especially an iPod that contains Barbra Streisand singing "People". (See the song list in the previous link.)

I hope this will do nothing to harm what Churchill called "The Special Relationship" between our countries.

Once again, my apologies. We're still working on things like which fork to use.

-TWS