Monday, June 7, 2010

What the new Robin Hood movie is really about

You can go here and here and here and here and here and here to read libertarian perspectives on Ridley Scott's (relatively) new Robin Hood movie. 

Or you can go see it and develop your own theory of what it all means. 

Lord have mercy, it's a mess. It's a rousing pro-liberty, anti-tax call to arms, but it's still a total mess. The plot doesn't make a lick of sense, and the movie has more anachronisms than Ye Olde Northe Texas Renaissance Faire.
My favorite? The wooden landing craft that the invading French army (long story) uses to land on the British coastline.  They're near replicas of the metal versions that we used five centuries later to go the opposite direction into Normandy.  I don't think troop transport vessels with a hinged front end were on the market during the Middle Ages. 

Still, the movie is enjoyable if you understand the basic metaphor at its heart.....

King Richard plays George W. Bush, who got his country into debt with a pointless war against Muslims.  Robin Hood plays the returning Iraqi vet, who feels guilty about slaughtering Muslims. 

King Richard dies in battle and is replaced by Barack Obama, played by King John.  This new king cranks the spending even higher, and needs even more taxes. 
At one point early in the film, King John actually blames all the continuing high taxes and astronomical debts on the previous king.  If you don't laugh at that point in the movie, you need to watch the news more often.

Friar Tuck, Will Scarlet, Alan A'Dale, Little John some Lost Boys left over from a Peter Pan movie, they all portray various Tea Partiers, Libertarians, Constitutionalists, and Campaign For Liberty members. 

Godfrey, the evil tax collector, does a good turn as Timothy Geithner. 

The Sheriff Of Nottingham portrays Senator Arlen Spector, who tries to play both sides from the middle and gets shunned by everyone. 

That's all you really need to know about the characters, other than Maid Marion.  Maid Marion plays the mandatory female lead who, despite having no military or combat training, shows up in armor at the final battle so she can get knocked unconscious in the middle of the fight and distract Robin Hood from killing Timothy Geithner. 

At one point, King John/Barack Obama burns the new constitution, but stops short of requiring all his subjects to spend money with health insurance companies. 

Before the final fight, King John/Barack Obama, who is totally unqualified to do anything except be his own glorious self, says to the troops “Gentlemen, let’s go to war. It’s my first time – I’ll lead”.  If you don't laugh at that point in the movie, you probably thought that it was ok to vote for a presidential candidate who had absolutely no executive or management experience. 

Fun movie, but I only gave it 6 stars due to sloppiness in the plot and dialogue, plus none of the kings had a court jester portrying Joe Biden. 

Robin Hood, directed by Ridley Scott, and starring Barack Obama, The Tea Party Movement, Timothy Geithner, and George W. Bush, is still showing in theatres.


Nick Rowe said...

I watched Avatar back when it was called Dances wirh Wolves starring Kevin Costner.

I watched Robin Hood back when it was called Robin Hood starring Kevin Costner.

I watched Battleship Potemkin when it was remade into a movie called The Untouchables, starring Kevin Costner.

I watched the Obama presidency back when it was called Field of Dreams, starring Kevin Costner.

Nice movie review. Sorry Hollywood couldn't do any better - it's filled with libruls.

Nick Rowe said...

BTW, if you think the war against the muslims was pointless, you ought to consider what almost happened to France under Charlemagne and what did happen to Spain before Ferdinand and Isabella.

The Conquistadores and the Inquisition were no better, but the West fared better than most countries controlled by Islam. We had our Reformation - they didn't. In fact, they took rather advanced civilizations in Arabia, Persia, Egypt, Turkey, and India and held them back for a thousand years.

Recall that Europe had been depopulated by the Black Plague and were easily conquered but for the brave might of Crusaders.