Showing posts with label songs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label songs. Show all posts

Friday, April 29, 2011

TRIP. Tonight. Rahr Brewery. 6:30.

I'm playing guitar and singing with Mike Coyne and Big Daddy John Spivey at the Rahr Brewery in Fort Worth tonight at 6:30
It's a fund-raiser for TRIP, the Trinity River Improvement Partnership.  You also get to see a documentary called Up A Creek, detailing the history of the Trinity River and the dangers of the current Trinity River development plan.  TRIP was set up as an alternative to the billion-dollar Trinity River Vision boondoggle set up by and for JD and his mama, Kay Granger.  I'm sure that I'll be posting more about this group as I learn more about it.  Hell, the Granger outfit has already doubled the size of the original budget.  (It's now up to something like 900 million.) 

I'm going to be doing some Buffet tunes, some Jerry Jeff Walker, and a few originals.  Spivey will be singing an original composition called "Mama Tried".  (Guess who that one is about !!) 

Here's the lyrics to one of the songs I'll be doing.  There was an old guy named James Cook who worked on my father's farm, and about three times a year he'd tell me about a little dog that helped his family get through the Great Depression.  I wrote this in honor of Mr. Cook, and his dog, and to get in a slam at Franklin Roosevelt. 
It's called "The Dog That Knew". 

"Back in the Great Depression, I made fifty cents a day,
Just digging ditches, picking cotton, or whatever else would pay.
Had a house full of kids, and couldn't keep 'em fed,
Every night we'd go to sleep, afraid we'd wake up dead. 

Well, one day here's this little dog like I have not seen since,
As if God had crossed a beagle with some kind of barbed wire fence,
And that little dog did something that I've never seen before,
He went and caught a rabbit, and then laid it at my door. 

Well, Daisy took that rabbit and she threw it in a pot,
Then we sat down at the table, thanked the Lord for what we got,
We thanked the Lord for sunshine and them children in the yard,
And we thanked God for little dogs that knew that times were hard.

Had that dog for seven years and Lord, he fed us well. 
That dog could bring a rabbit back straight from the gates of hell,
You see those rabbits ran like lightning up and down that river bank,
Sometimes they ran through gulleys that could scare a Sherman tank. 

And Mr. Roosevelt he said "It's only fear itself",
Well I bet Mr. Roosevelt had groceries on his shelf. 
They said it was a brand New Deal, that's all that some folks had. 
We had us a little dog that knew that times were bad. 

Well, Daisy took that rabbit and she threw it in a pot,

Then we sat down at the table, thanked the Lord for what we got,
We thanked the Lord for sunshine and them children in the yard,
And we thanked God for little dogs that knew that times were hard.

It's been forty years, I guess, since I first heard it said,
About that old man's dog and how it kept his family fed -
You see, my back yard's full of dachshunds, those useless weiner dogs;
Never caught a rabbit, and Lord they eat like hogs. 

Sometimes I'll take 'em huntin', and Lordy what a sight,
There's a man whose little dogs are scared that rabbits bite.
So if y'all see me looking like I don't eat enough,
It's because my little dogs don't know that times are tough. 

So y'all bring me a rabbit, and I'll throw it in a pot,
I'll sit down at the table, and thank the Lord for what I've got.
I'll thank the Lord for sunshine and those dachshunds in the yard,
But I'll wish I had some little dogs that knew that times are hard. 

Hope to see some of you tonight !!!

Monday, November 15, 2010

The Wal-Mart Greeter Blues

After walking away from it for about 25 years, I've started writing songs again. 

I heard some guy on a radio program say that if you're upper class in America, your name is on the building.  If you're middle class, your name is on your desk.  If you're working class, your name is on your shirt. 

When I heard that, I was reminded of this old-timer I once heard ranting at The White Elephant Saloon in the Fort Worth Stockyards.  He was talking about how his land was disappearing, how he couldn't make it as a rancher, and how "that Wal-Mart Greeter job is looking better every day". 

This is what I did with it.  Will put up a YouTube as soon as I meet someone with the time and the camera.

Intro:
Granddad lifted me up high, and he put me on his saddle,
He said “Look at that horizon, boy, y’know one day soon all of that’ll,
That’ll be the land where your whole clan can feed and herd your cattle.”
But he didn’t prepare me for this concrete prairie,
My new home on the range, where the shopping carts rattle….
Here’s how I got the Wal-Mart Greeter Blues:
Verse:
My granddad built an empire, and my old man drank it dry,
Then I lost a lot in Vegas, and those taxes were so high,
Some went to my last three wives, and the cost of just getting by,
That’s how I got the Wal-Mart Greeter Blues.
Chorus:
So keep those steers a movin’, boys!  Pampers are on aisle four. 
Come on boys, we’re burning daylight!  Just get ‘em in the store. 
Drive that herd to the preferred products on the floor,
Check the receipts, keep the lobby neat, and then
Herd ‘em out the door. 

Verse:
I saw my granddad’s cattle brand all over the West,
I only saw my old man’s name on that sign that was on his desk,
My name ain’t nowhere but on this blue nylon vest,
And now I’ve got the Wal-Mart Greeter Blues. 
Repeat Chorus
So keep those steers a movin’, boys!  Detergent is on aisle four. 
Come on boys, we’re burning daylight!  Just get ‘em in the store. 
Drive that herd to the preferred products on the floor,
Check the receipts, keep the lobby neat, and then
Herd ‘em out the door. 
Verse:
Look at you, you sweet young thing, with that cart there all by yourself.
Girl, I’ve got what your shopping for, and it ain’t on the shelf.
If I wasn’t stuck here, girl, I would help you find it myself. 
Instead, I’ve got the Wal-Mart Greeter Blues. 
Repeat Chorus. 
So keep those steers a movin’, boys!  Wishes are on aisle four. 
Come on boys, we’re burning daylight!  Just get ‘em in the store. 
Drive that herd to the preferred products on the floor,
Check the receipts, keep the lobby neat, and then
Herd ‘em out the door. 

The picture of a Wal-Mart Greeter came from here. 

Friday, May 28, 2010

Let's Get Caesar Involved

I wrote this one in about 30 minutes last night.  It shows. 
Imagine this song done by an old-time Gospel quartet.  Will try to put up a YouTube if time ever allows. 

"Jesus taught the multitudes one day in Galilee,
Must have been five thousand, and they all got hungry....(fermata)
Disciples came to Jesus, and said "Get those people fed.
Jesus turned toward heaven, and this is what he said:

(bass) And he said

Let's get Caesar involved !
Caesar will get your problem solved. 
Go away and let me relax, that's why I pay all that tax,
You need to get Caesar involved. 


Three men saw a traveller that thieves had robbed and beat.
Two men were too busy, but one man stopped to speak (fermata)
"Buddy that looks painful, yeah sometimes life's a bitch. 
Samaritans no longer pull your ass up out of the ditch !

(bass) And he said

Let's get Caesar involved !
He will get the problem solved.
I used to go the 2nd mile, but in your case I think that I'll
Just try to get Caesar involved.


A wedding feast in Cana had just run out of wine,
One man said to Jesus, make us some moonshine (fermata)
But Jesus had no permits, nor a license to distill,
So he said I can't help you, but I know one who will

(bass) And he said

Let's get Caesar involved !
Government will get the problem solved. 
Give to Caesar what is his, next you'll give him all their is,
So let's get Caesar involved.

So if you're on life's highway, pulled down by sin and shame,
Just call on Big Brother, just call out his name (fermata)
Don't call out for your neighbor, or friends and family,
They will just refer you to Washington, D.C.,


(bass) And they'll say

Let's get Caesar involved !
He will get the problem solved. 
If you find that you can't cope, call on Mr. Change and Hope....
That you can get Caesar involved.

(Repeat chorus forever and ever, praising Caesar and thanking him for his great and glorious works.) 

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Happy Mothers Day ! ! !

I almost forgot to post something appropriate for the holiday until I saw this on The Criplets' site. 
This is one that The Jihadist Safety Consultant sometimes play and sing together, usually to great acclaim when he can remember how to count. 
Happy Mothers Day ! !

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Super-complex col-lat-er-al-ized debt obligations ! !

From William N. Grigg, at the Pro Libertate blog, sung to the tune of "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" from Mary Poppins:
"Because the local sports mogul who owns the football team
Demanded a new stadium, or else he'd up and leave
We formed a sports authority to collect subsidies,
And now the bursting debt bubble has brought us to our knees"

And now the suf-fring middle class confronts annihilation --
Super-complex col-lat-er-al-ized debt obligations!

Hum-diddle-liddle-liddle, hum-diddle-LIE,
Hum-diddle-liddle-liddle, hum-diddle-FRAUD....

Now, everybody sing along ! ! !



I don't know if this is as good as my own "Teleprompter Jesus" ditty, but I like it.
William Grigg. The Pro Libertate blog. Yet another great libertarian website for your daily reads.