Monday, December 27, 2010

Japan's Nanny State Gone Wild - A license is required to administer coffee enemas

From WeirdAsiaNews, with a fresh coat of Whitening to the International Liberty blog:

Police in Chiba Prefecture arrested three men this month on suspicion of violating Japan’s Medical Practitioners Law by providing coffee enemas without the proper medical qualifications, according to local media reports.

Chikayoshi Hishiki (55) and two associates offered coffee-based enemas as a beauty treatment at their now-defunct alternative medicine clinics, according to leading daily Sankei Shimbun.

The three suspects denied any wrongdoing, claiming they only provided the equipment and cleaned up afterwards, while the clients themselves administered the procedure, the report said.

Some Japanese have become interested in filling their bums with java, believing they have discovered a secret dieting technique used by celebrities in the US and Europe.
George & Oliver Co., a Tokyo-based online marketer of health and beauty products, has jumped on this movement, offering do-it-yourself coffee rectal infusion kits for 9,240 yen (approx. $110).

The kit includes an enema bag, a tube of gel and six cans of “Café COLON” coffee, which is unlikely to become a Starbucks coffee-of-the day anytime soon.

Here's the International Liberty take on this crisis:

Too bad the gift-giving season is already over....

I’m sure these Japanese rules exist to unfairly enrich that nation’s medical profession. I can’t help but wonder, though, whether Japan’s bureaucrats have covered all the bases. Are tea enemas also covered by the regulations? What about if you use “fair trade certified” coffee from Starbucks? Are people allowed to buy toilets with built-in enemas? And what about bidets? Surely regular people can’t be trusted to operate such equipments without some sort of government involvement!

And now for a series of sentences I never thought I would type.  Never, ever, never....  The picture of the coffee enema T-shirt came from here.  The picture of the coffee enema kit and equipment came from here.  To read some stuff on a Soldier Of Fortune/Mercenary discussion board about the British Army pioneering a rectal infusion technique during the Falkland Islands war, go here.  The vintage coffee ad came from Flickr.  This post was written in, and therefore sponsored by, Starbucks

8 comments:

Dr Ralph said...

They probably see it as a needed business regulation. Look what coffee enemas did to Wall Street back in the Bush era -- gave us a bunch of over-caffeinated a**holes.

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Anonymous said...

I'd like to think I could give myself an enema, especially if I take it black. I might need a little help if I prefer cream and sugar tho and I suppose a coffee-royal is asking for too much. We wouldn't want a drunk as*hole getting in the way.

Cedric Katesby said...

Chikayoshi Hishiki (55) and two associates offered coffee-based enemas as a beauty treatment at their now-defunct alternative medicine clinics...

There's no such thing as "alternative medicine."

There's just medicine.

Either a treatment has been scientifically demonstrated to work, in which case it's medicine or...it hasn't, in which case it's snake oil.

Japan's enforcement of "violating Japan’s Medical Practitioners Law by providing coffee enemas without the proper medical qualifications" is probably just a legalistic way of slowly, very slowly, making life rightfully miserable for the quacks.
Same goes for laws that don't allow people to "practice magic" or "predict the future" without a "valid licence".

Having blunt and straight-forward laws on fraud would be the preferred method but cutural inertia often gets in the way.

The Whited Sepulchre said...

Cedric,
Perhaps so.
But I sometimes think that "alternative medicine" is any medicine that the establishment doesn't like. All cures are alternative the first few times they tried, right?

On a similar subject....How do you feel about "alternative energy sources"? :)

Cedric Katesby said...

But I sometimes think that "alternative medicine" is any medicine that the establishment doesn't like.

Which is a carefully cultivated idea in our modern day culture that aids and abets every snake-oil merchant out there.

It's the credo of every anti-vaxxer and homeopath out there.


"Alternative medicine" of all stripes, shapes and sizes is big business and very little is done by government agencies to stop it.

The media and Hollywood continuously give it a free pass and indeed outright promotion because they think they are doing the right thing.

However, there is no global medical conspiracy by "big medicine" to keep actual medicine away from the public.
It fails the basic logic test.

Science-based medicine is about sorting out superstitious clap-trap from reality.

People fall for fake, expensive and sometimes actually dangerous garbage all the time.

It's human nature driven by "common sense" thinking and it can kill you.

On a similar subject....How do you feel about "alternative energy sources"?

If the energy source in question is actually repeatedly demonstrated to work then...I'm fine with it.
Cold fusion? Not so much.

Science is about the study of reality. An attack on one branch of science is an attack on all.

Dr Ralph said...

WS - to put it delicately, I think we are in danger of drifting away from "alternative medicine" and into "alternative lifestyles" here, if you catch my drift.

Which I'm okay with...far be it for me to judge.

Whatever creams your coffee.

Nick Rowe said...

Knights of the Road. LOL!

That ad agency apparently never met an overweight, smelly Teamster who frequents $5 truck stop whores.

Say "alternative medicine" and I think of chiropractic, acupuncture, and aromatherapy. But television commercials are filled with Smiling Bob and his Enzyte, weight loss products, and Head On.

Every time I hear the Head On commercial, I want to apply a .357 magnum directly to their forehead.

Ralph, I love your way with words. :)