Why You Shouldn't Hire Anyone In The United States Of America

Barack Obama has has sent Congress a ridiculous "To Do" List, a ragtag collection of feel-good proposals to help the economy, help the unemployed, and mostly to help Washington bureaucrats. 

All of them would be unnecessary if he'd just do the right thing and resign in disgrace. 

Here's #1 on the list:

Reward American Jobs, Eliminate Tax Incentives To Ship Jobs Overseas: Attract and keep good jobs in the United State sby passing legislation that gives companies a new 20 percent tax credit for the cost of moving their operations back to the U.S. Congress should pay for this credit by eliminating tax incentives that allow companies to deduct the costs of moving their business abroad.


If Congress doesn't vote in favor of this stuff, they'll be known as the "do-nothing Congress".  They're already the "do-nothing Congress".  They haven't passed a budget in more than three years, and for two of those years, they were controlled by Democrats.  Since 2010, the House has been Republican, but the Senate has been Democrat.  And it looks like the Dems still run the show. 

Enough about that.  Here's something from the world of reality.  This is what it's like for an employer in Obama's America:

My employer, Jukt Micronics, runs wood, metal and plastic shops in Texas.  I run a warehouse and shipping operation for them where my employees receive, assemble, and transport products made overseas. 

The total product mix is probably 60% manufactured in the U.S., 40% imported from outside of the U.S. 

Before we started outsourcing, we had about 300 employees in the U.S.  

After we started going overseas to purchase the easy stuff, we grew to 600 U.S. employees.  It's funny how that works, isn't it? 

We've now dropped to about 500 U.S. employees, primarily because of the Thief In Chief in the White House. 

The guy who runs our wood operation, who I'll call "Woodchuck", is a great person.  He is a wood god. 

About a week ago, Woodchuck got a complaint about a nighshift employee sleeping on the job.

Woodchuck checked the video cameras, and sure enough, the dude was driving to remote corners of the wood shop on a forklift, kicking back and catching some serious naps. 

Woodchuck fired him. 

The employee, who I'll call "Snoozy", filed for unemployment compensation, saying that he was unjustly terminated. 

The case actually went to a Texas Workforce Commission hearing.  We were armed with the videos, and expected an easy victory. 

The TWC lifer asked Woodchuck if he ever posted signs in the factory about NO SLEEPING ON THE JOB, or NO SLEEPING ON FORKLIFTS. 

Woodchuck replied that he had not.  (He also doesn't have signs about NO SHITTING ON THE BREAKROOM FLOOR, and NO RAPING EMPLOYEES ON THE SLIDING TABLE SAW). 

Because of this glaring oversight we lost the case.  Jukt Micronics will have to pay for Snoozy's unemployment compensation for up to 99 weeks. 

I'll go to my grave believing that the ridiculous number of people collecting unemployment is a campaign strategy.  Increasing the duration of unemployement compensation is a campaign strategy.  (I've lost some compensation claims that I know I'd have won five or six years ago.  One instance involves firing someone for Indecent Exposure.  There were multiple witnesses to the crime.  And Jukt Micronics now has to pay the perverted sonofabitch unemployment for 99 weeks because I supposedly threatened the guy.) 

If Barack Obama wants to bring jobs back to the U.S., there are some simple ways to do it.  He could make the U.S. a less hostile place for employers.  He could stop rigging the tax code in favor of people who do things that he likes.  He could resign. 

When I get to work today, I'm putting signs up about NO SLEEPING ON THE JOB and NO SLEEPING ON FORKLIFTS, just to be safe.  And I'm going to explain why. 

Anyone who hires someone in the United States is taking a huge, huge risk. 

You Get What You Pay For

From The Daily Pundit:

Our society chooses to pay for bastards and wonders why the number of bastards increases. Our society refuses to support poor families with married fathers in residence, and wonders why the number of single mothers increases. Our society pays for single motherhood, and wonders why we get it. Our society gives stipends to unemployed and/or homeless males, and wonders why we get more and more of them.


Why on earth would any of the poor pay attention to “cultural signals” when the check that comes to them pays for exactly the opposite?

The phenomenon is called "perverse incentives". 
It is why a government anti-global warming program is paying me to run forklifts all night.  (Hit the label below)
It is why we're subsidizing corn syrup producers while subsidizing an anti-obesity campaign. 
It's why a lot of beautiful, intelligent kids are put in Special Ed in exchange for their parents getting a "crazy check". 

But but but but....our intentions are always so pure !

Was Cash For Clunkers A Clunker?

Was Cash For Clunkers A Clunker?

That's the question that Ezra Klein of The Washington Post asks if you go here. 

To even ask that question is to answer it. 

Yes, the program was a clunker.  It was a clunker of such magnitude that to even ask the question is to answer it.  If you're pay more for something than it is worth, or to expedite or reward a lopsided trade of that type, then you are participating in Clunkerite behavior. 

Good Lord in heaven, this thing made me crazy back in the day.  Now even the Official Newsletter Of The Obama Vandalism Team is almost admitting that the program was dumber than a box of rocks.  Here's Klein:

For one thing, the fuel-economy requirements were fairly lax: A person could, in theory, trade in a Hummer that got 14 mpg and get a $3,500 voucher for a new 18-mpg SUV. What’s more, that slight gain in efficiency would be partially offset by the energy costs involved in manufacturing the new car. And on the economic front, critics argued, the program might just move up purchases that would’ve happened anyway — thereby providing little actual stimulus.

And that's exactly the type of thing that the smarter people among us did.
 
My employer, Jukt Micronics, participated in a similar Texas program for forklifts.  It was supposedly about lowering carbon emissions, but in reality it was about using up some of the Texas government's 2009 budget.  Hit this link.  The forklift giveaway was pure, undiluted, insane, government mandated greatness.  I can't thank you good taxpayers enough for giving me these forklifts , by the way.  Oh, and we're letting these things idle all night so that the government inspectors will see that they're getting enough hours, which is the only way they can prove that I really needed them. 
Long story.  Hit the link.  I'm begging you. 
Go ahead.  Hit this link. 
You'll continue to vote for Democrat or Republican idiots unless you hit this link. 

But that's enough chatter about how I'm letting forklifts idle all night so the odometers will prove that I really did need the forklifts that you gave me so that I could help reduce carbon emissions.....Back to Ezra Klein at the WaPo:

So were the naysayers right? It seems so. A newly updated analysis from economists at Resources for the Future finds that the actual benefits of the program were pretty meager. The paper examined U.S. car sales using trends in Canada as a control group, and estimated that about 45 percent of cash-for-clunker vouchers went to consumers who would have bought new cars anyway. In the end, the program boosted U.S. vehicle sales by just 360,000 in July and August of 2009 and provided no stimulus thereafter. What’s more, the program increased average fuel economy in the United States by just 0.65 miles per gallon.

Ezra, you ignorant slut. 
The program was not about stimulus, or fuel economy.  I don't know why this is so hard to admit.   
The program was a political favor to Detroit which harmed most of the rest of us.  It annihilated the used car and used parts market.  Mission accomplished on that score. 

Now, there’s a case to be made that that’s better than nothing. For one, handing $3,500 vouchers to people who would’ve bought cars anyway still counts as stimulus. What’s more, as the RFF paper found, the program reduced overall U.S. carbon-dioxide emissions by between 9 million and 28.4 million tons. But even so, that implies that it cost between $91 and $288 per ton to get those reductions — a pretty lousy bargain as far as carbon policy goes. Even if the program did have some benefits, it’s hard to argue that it was an efficient way to dole out cash.

Oh for Christ's sake !!!   It doesn't count as "stimulus".  Ezra, if I take money from you and give it to a forklift manufacturer, it doesn't stimulate anything but my do-gooder credentials.  You won't get to spend the money the way you wanted to, and the forklift manufacturer gets to spend it the way he wants to.  Net gain: Zero. 

And chances are, the manufacturer is going to spend some of it on campaign contributions for the person who took away your money, you idiot.  

Here's one of my least favorite videos of all time. 

The Comedy Genius of Charlie Delta !!!!!!!!

My California friend Charlie Delta has written a blog post in which our political situation pushes me over the edge. 

Stolen Forklifts in heavy traffic are involved. 

Shiner beer is involved. 

I'm not going to tell you how much of this might be true.

Here's the video that inspired Charlie Delta's story.  It takes a few seconds to get started.  Be patient.  This thing is worth it.  Let this be the soundtrack for what you're about to enjoy....

I've been around the world twice.  I've been to China five times.   I've been Employee Of The Year at two different companies.  I'm the father of my daughter. 

I don't know that any of that is better than this.  Hit the link and enjoy the pure comedy gold of Charlie Delta ! 

The Forklifts Revisited

Dear Taxpayers,
About a week ago, I thanked all of you for purchasing me some new forklifts.
I love them, love them, love them.
The explanation and justification for your generous purchase can be found here.

In short, I'm accustomed to running warehouses with stuff like this:

But becase of something called the "Texas Emissions Reduction Plan", and the brilliant "Low Emission Propane Forklift Initiative Program", my employer, Jukt Micronics, got $9,000.00 rebates on 19 forklifts that look like these:

The idea is that the new lifts meet higher emissions standards than the old ones.

(Let's see....$9,000.00 x 19 forklifts = more money than I'll make all day long. So I can't thank you enough. Seriously. Especially the little people who dug deep to make this happen for me. These things are nice.)

The goal of this program is to emit less Nitrogen Oxide into the environment. But what if an unscrupulous factory or warehouse owner had a lot of old junk forklifts that he ran no more than 20 or 30 hours per year? Or perhaps his old environmentally harmful ones didn't run at all?

OMG....he or she could still apply for the rebates offered through the Texas emissions reduction plan and get brand new forklifts from the taxpayers even though he or she didn't really have a use for new forklifts and then sell the brand new machines later at a huge profit ! ! ! (This is not the case at my workplace, BTW.)

So how do the administrators of the program (sponsored by the Texas Railroad Commission) determine that a factory or warehouse has a genuine need for new forklifts?

They ask how many hours my old forklifts ran per year and this determines the amount of money you give me, and then my new forklifts are expected to run for a comparable number of hours. Every year, they inspect the hour meters. The number of hours I'm burning propane determines the size of our rebate, and whether or not we get to keep all of your money.

I repeat....they do inspections. They look at the hour meters on the dashboards.

If we don't run our forklifts for enough hours per year, we don't qualify for the total rebate.

Let's assume that burning propane on a forklift can actually influence the weather. If that's the case, my employer is now being rewarded for burning more propane, not less. (I assure you, we are now running the living shit out of these forklifts. We're burning propane as an entrepreneurial activity.)

As an Anthropogenic Global Warming Skeptic, I'm enjoying this more than you can imagine.

As a small-government libertarian, this next part makes me downright giddy. It gets better.

We have multiple shops and warehouses all over Tarrant and Johnson counties. There are forklifts in all of these places. Some of these shops are open for only one shift and others are open 24 hours a day. The forklifts in the busy shops will easily qualify for the rebate, but some of the others might not.

So once a month, I fire up three semi-tractors and go from shop to shop, warehouse to warehouse, moving your gift forklifts to places that are busy enough to ensure they qualify for the full emissions reduction rebate ! !

So....what does this mean to you?

Well, are you trying to save the earth by driving a Prius? Taking the bus? Riding a bike? Thanks to the Texas Railroad Commission's program, I eliminate any good that you supposedly do. Heck, on the days that I use two Mack trucks and a Freightliner to move the forklifts from shop to shop, I bet I negate the environmental efforts of entire subdivisions.

Once again, thanks for the forklifts. This year for Christmas, I'll get you some new recycling bins, a DVD of Al Gore's "Earth In The Balance" and a Moped.

Dr. Thomas Sowell has said it over and over. Programs and policies should be judged and evaluated in terms of the incentives they create, not their stated goals and objectives.

Pics of old forklift came from here. Pics of new Yale forklifts came from here.

Dear Taxpayers, Thanks For The Forklifts ! ! !

Dear Taxpayers,
Thank you for the forklifts you so graciously purchased for me.
What? You don't remember buying me any forklifts???? Then let me explain....

I've always taken a lot of pride in finding good deals at auctions for my employer, Jukt Micronics.
Since we have multiple factories and warehouses, I've bought a lot of used forklifts over the years. With only one exception that I can remember, they all ran ok and were worth about what I paid for them.
They usually looked something like this, but with worse paint....


Then something came along called the Texas Emissions Reduction Plan, a government program designed to increase sales of new forklifts manufactured by campaign contributors to reduce NOx emissions (Nitrogen Oxide). This plan, supervised and implemented by The Texas Railroad Commission, featured something called the Low Emission Propane Forklift Initiative Program.

In a nutshell, this program allowed us to scrap our old forklifts since they weren't environmentally friendly, and gave us a huge rebate on the purchase of new ones that supposedly meet the new emissions standards. If you look at the Propane Forklift Initiative Program link, you'll see that the average rebate is around $9,000.00.

I think we got 12 forklifts.

I've never paid $9,000.00 for a forklift in my life, much less received a $9,000.00 rebate on a new one that costs even more. So all I can say is "thank you". These things are great.

In my opinion, there's not a cow's fart per decade's difference in the emissions from the old ones and the new ones, but I'm still glad to have all these new puppies at my disposal. Instead of travelling to auctions, having to repair old forklifts, or, hell, instead of having to spend company money, you folks bought us these. And don't think I don't appreciate it.

Thanks to your good friends at the Texas Railroad Commission, I have a lot more free time.

I spend a lot of this free time Googling the term "Regulatory Capture" an economics term stating that “regulation is not about the public interest at all, but is a process, by which interest groups seek to promote their private interest ... Over time, regulatory agencies come to be dominated by the industries regulated.” In this case, the industry is forklift manufacturers.

If this post makes you angry, I'm glad. But it doesn't make you angry enough to stop voting for Republicans and Democrats, does it? You still won't vote for Libertarians, will you?

Good. Because I want some new semi-tractors next, and I want you to buy them.

Pics of old forklift came from here. Pics of new Yale forklifts came from here.