Showing posts with label wagers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wagers. Show all posts
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Whatever happened to the anti-war movement?
And from David Boaz:
In October 2007, Obama proclaimed, “I will promise you this, that if we have not gotten our troops out by the time I am president, it is the first thing I will do. I will get our troops home. We will bring an end to this war. You can take that to the bank.” Speaking of Iraq in February 2008, candidate Barack Obama said, “I opposed this war in 2002. I will bring this war to an end in 2009. It is time to bring our troops home.” The following month, under fire from Hillary Clinton, he reiterated, “I was opposed to this war in 2002….I have been against it in 2002, 2003, 2004, 5, 6, 7, 8 and I will bring this war to an end in 2009. So don’t be confused.”
Indeed, in his famous “the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow” speech on the night he clinched the Democratic nomination, he also proclaimed, “I am absolutely certain that generations from now we will be able to look back and tell our children that . . . this was the moment when we ended a war.”
Today, however, he has tripled President Bush’s troop levels in Afghanistan, and we have been fighting there for more than nine years. The Pentagon has declared “the official end to Operation Iraqi Freedom and combat operations by United States forces in Iraq,” but we still have 50,000 troops there, hardly what Senator Obama promised.
Yeah, and we've got 9 more months to go in 2011. Who will bomb next, Iran or Pakistan? I'm voting Pakistan.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Some random Republican makes some random claims about shutting down some random government program. Not gonna happen
Because of the firing of Juan Williams, some Republicans are claiming that they're going to cut off funding to NPR.
This will not happen. Republicans don't reduce the size of government.
If the Republicans take control of both houses of Congress and cut off funding to NPR, I will shave my head.
NPR's government slop is as safe as the gold in Fort Knox.
Republicans don't cut anything.
They don't reduce the size of anything.
They take their turn behind the wheel of the car, keeping it going in the same direction, but stop at different restaurants, tourist traps, and hotels. But they change nothing that matters.
Here's Hot Air, on the latest grandstanding Republican:
This was inevitable, in more ways than one. Jim DeMint has announced that he will introduce a bill to strip all funding from NPR and PBS:
And if they find the Testicular Fortitude to do it this time, I'll shave my head. And if they're not willing to cut funding to something as blatantly partisan as NPR, they're not going to cut anything.
This is a Moment Of Truth. And if they cut off NPR, I'll shave my head.
Jim DeMint is a girly-man. My remaining hair is safe.
The monies involved are not exactly minimal, but won’t balance the budget, either. DeMint’s statement references the $4 billion spent by the US on PBS and NPR over the last nine years, which works out to something less than $500 million each year on average. DeMint wisely casts this as just a small piece of right-sizing the federal government and reinstituting the proper boundaries and priorities in a Constitutional context.
In one sense, this may not be the best context in which to raise the issue, although certainly NPR gave about as big of an opening as one could imagine.
Yep. It's a perfect opening, but they aren't going to take it. REPUBLICANS DON'T CUT THINGS. THEY GROW THINGS. IT'S MORE FUN TO BE IN CONTROL WHEN THE SPENDING IS INCREASING. And if the Republicans cut off funding to NPR, I'll shave my head.
The real issues at hand are the fact that we simply can’t afford to fund feel-good arts programs any longer while we rack up huge amounts of debt, and more importantly, that public broadcasting is an anachronism — and has been for at least two decades. In an era with 200 channels readily available on cable and plenty of over-the-air broadcast content, the government doesn’t need to provide subsidies for entertainment based on the predilections of bureaucrats in Washington. In fact, there is an even better question within that issue: should the government in a free society ever have funded news channels in the first place?
Update: Eric Cantor will add the option to the House Republican’s YouCut website:
If the Republicans take control of both houses of Congress and cut off funding to NPR, I will shave my head. Republicans do not cut things. They don't reduce the size of government. They just take their turn driving the car, and keep it going in the same direction.
If the Republicans cut off funding to NPR, I repeat, I will shave my head.
Vote for every Libertarian candidate you can in November. They'll shut it down like a dying K-Mart.
This will not happen. Republicans don't reduce the size of government.
If the Republicans take control of both houses of Congress and cut off funding to NPR, I will shave my head.
NPR's government slop is as safe as the gold in Fort Knox.
Republicans don't cut anything.
They don't reduce the size of anything.
They take their turn behind the wheel of the car, keeping it going in the same direction, but stop at different restaurants, tourist traps, and hotels. But they change nothing that matters.
This was inevitable, in more ways than one. Jim DeMint has announced that he will introduce a bill to strip all funding from NPR and PBS:
Conservative Republican Senator Jim DeMint of South Carolina today announced plans to introduce legislation stripping federal funding from National Public Radio and the Public Broadcasting Service.The Juan Williams controversy provided a catalyst, but this issue would have arisen anyway. The GOP needs to find ways to cut costs, and the funds for public broadcasting would have eventually come under the knife, and sooner rather than later. Republicans have paid lip service to conservative complaints over federal subsidies to PBS and NPR for decades but have never had the nerve to cut funds, especially when the GOP tried the “compassionate conservative” approach and grew government everywhere else.
The move comes following the firing of NPR contributor Juan Williams for comments about Muslims. Williams said among other things that he gets “nervous” when he sees Muslims on his airplane flights.
The firing prompted calls from Sarah Palin, Mike Huckabee and others on the right to strip NPR of funding, and now DeMint, who is beloved in the Tea Party movement despite his Senate perch, has taken up the call.
“Once again we find the only free speech liberals support is the speech with which they agree. The incident with Mr. Williams shows that NPR is not concerned about providing the listening public with an honest debate of today’s issues, but rather with promoting a one-sided liberal agenda,” he said in a statement.
And if they find the Testicular Fortitude to do it this time, I'll shave my head. And if they're not willing to cut funding to something as blatantly partisan as NPR, they're not going to cut anything.
This is a Moment Of Truth. And if they cut off NPR, I'll shave my head.
Jim DeMint is a girly-man. My remaining hair is safe.
The monies involved are not exactly minimal, but won’t balance the budget, either. DeMint’s statement references the $4 billion spent by the US on PBS and NPR over the last nine years, which works out to something less than $500 million each year on average. DeMint wisely casts this as just a small piece of right-sizing the federal government and reinstituting the proper boundaries and priorities in a Constitutional context.
In one sense, this may not be the best context in which to raise the issue, although certainly NPR gave about as big of an opening as one could imagine.
Yep. It's a perfect opening, but they aren't going to take it. REPUBLICANS DON'T CUT THINGS. THEY GROW THINGS. IT'S MORE FUN TO BE IN CONTROL WHEN THE SPENDING IS INCREASING. And if the Republicans cut off funding to NPR, I'll shave my head.
The real issues at hand are the fact that we simply can’t afford to fund feel-good arts programs any longer while we rack up huge amounts of debt, and more importantly, that public broadcasting is an anachronism — and has been for at least two decades. In an era with 200 channels readily available on cable and plenty of over-the-air broadcast content, the government doesn’t need to provide subsidies for entertainment based on the predilections of bureaucrats in Washington. In fact, there is an even better question within that issue: should the government in a free society ever have funded news channels in the first place?
Update: Eric Cantor will add the option to the House Republican’s YouCut website:
House Republicans announced Friday they would take action that could force a vote on defunding NPR in the wake of the firing of news analyst Juan Williams.
House Minority Whip Eric Cantor (R-Va.) said that he is adding a measure to defund the publicly subsidized radio network to the conference’s “YouCut” program, which allows the public to vote online on spending programs they want cut. Williams was axed by NPR on Wednesday for comments he made about Muslims, drawing the ire of Republican leaders. …
“In light of their rash decision, we will include termination of federal funding for NPR as an option in the YouCut program so that Americans can let it be known whether they want their dollars going to that organization,” he said.
If the Republicans take control of both houses of Congress and cut off funding to NPR, I will shave my head. Republicans do not cut things. They don't reduce the size of government. They just take their turn driving the car, and keep it going in the same direction.
If the Republicans cut off funding to NPR, I repeat, I will shave my head.
Vote for every Libertarian candidate you can in November. They'll shut it down like a dying K-Mart.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Rahm Emmanuel - Why So Soon? (It just doesn't seem right)
From Talking Points Memo, where they are feigning confusion over why staffers are leaving the White House like rats leaving a sinking ship:
The word out tonight is that Rahm Emanuel is leaving the White House (to run for mayor of Chicago) and his departure will likely happen this week. I know people have strong feelings on both sides about Rahm. But I must say I find it somehow unseemly and almost bizarre what a rapid departure he's making.
Chief of Staff is usually considered a pinnacle job rather than a stepping stone. You do it until the president is done with you or you burn out, neither of which usually takes very long. And five weeks before an election? On very short notice? It just doesn't seem right.
--Josh Marshall
Mr. Marshall,
Rahm Emanuel has taken the suckers at the national level for all they've got. There is now substantial opposition at the national level to any more Porkulus, Stimulus, Clunkulus or Rahmulus.
Prior to his "service" in the White House, Emanuel made $16 million dollars in just two years on Wall Street. After that, he helped set up the implosion of Freddie Mac. There is now substantial opposition to any more taxpayer gifts to Wall Street or Freddie Mac.
Mayor of Chicago is one of the few opportunities that remain open to a looter of Rahm Emanuel's talents. Despite sending more politicians/governors/mayors to jail than almost any other region, Illinois still has no serious opposition to grand scale theft. At least not until the plunder has been thoroughly distributed to all the underlings.
I hope this clears things up for you,
- Whited
P.S. - I'm setting the Over/Under for Rahm's first indictment at 6 years. Do you want the Over or the Under?
The word out tonight is that Rahm Emanuel is leaving the White House (to run for mayor of Chicago) and his departure will likely happen this week. I know people have strong feelings on both sides about Rahm. But I must say I find it somehow unseemly and almost bizarre what a rapid departure he's making.
Chief of Staff is usually considered a pinnacle job rather than a stepping stone. You do it until the president is done with you or you burn out, neither of which usually takes very long. And five weeks before an election? On very short notice? It just doesn't seem right.
--Josh Marshall
Mr. Marshall,
Rahm Emanuel has taken the suckers at the national level for all they've got. There is now substantial opposition at the national level to any more Porkulus, Stimulus, Clunkulus or Rahmulus.
Prior to his "service" in the White House, Emanuel made $16 million dollars in just two years on Wall Street. After that, he helped set up the implosion of Freddie Mac. There is now substantial opposition to any more taxpayer gifts to Wall Street or Freddie Mac.
Mayor of Chicago is one of the few opportunities that remain open to a looter of Rahm Emanuel's talents. Despite sending more politicians/governors/mayors to jail than almost any other region, Illinois still has no serious opposition to grand scale theft. At least not until the plunder has been thoroughly distributed to all the underlings.
I hope this clears things up for you,
- Whited
P.S. - I'm setting the Over/Under for Rahm's first indictment at 6 years. Do you want the Over or the Under?
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Paul Krugman is pumped ! ! ! !
New York Times economist, Barackagandist, and all-around Statist lapdog Paul Krugman is pumped. I mean PUMPED ! !
This is the chart that did it for him. I gotta admit, my chair is getting a little moist because I'm looking at this chart:
Here's Dr. Krugman:
Ok, here's my "explaining", since Krugman is feeling macho and has thrown down the gauntlet....
Things are expensive when they are 1) in demand, and 2) scarce.
ObamaCare® does nothing to lower demand for medical care. And it does nothing to reduce the scarcity of doctors, nurses, hospital, drugs, or bedpans.
All it does is increase the size of the bureaucracy and prevent insurance companies from charging premiums to customers who aren't sick yet.
Therefore ObamaCare® will raise the cost of healthcare, not lower it.
I bet that I'm right, and that Paul Krugman turns out to be wrong.
I repeat....Thirty years from now, it will turn out that a blogger/shipping manager with an Education degree from Delta State University was right about a simple economic concept. The Nobel Prize winner inStatist Power Grabs Economics will be proven wrong.
This is the chart that did it for him. I gotta admit, my chair is getting a little moist because I'm looking at this chart:
In other words, the Medicare actuaries believe that the cost-saving provisions in the Obama health reform will make a huge difference to the long-run budget outlook. Yes, it’s just a projection, and debatable like all projections. And it’s still not enough. But anyone who both claims to be worried about the long-run deficit and was opposed to health reform has some explaining to do. All the facts we have suggest that health reform was the biggest move toward fiscal responsibility in a long, long time.
Ok, here's my "explaining", since Krugman is feeling macho and has thrown down the gauntlet....
Things are expensive when they are 1) in demand, and 2) scarce.
ObamaCare® does nothing to lower demand for medical care. And it does nothing to reduce the scarcity of doctors, nurses, hospital, drugs, or bedpans.
All it does is increase the size of the bureaucracy and prevent insurance companies from charging premiums to customers who aren't sick yet.
Therefore ObamaCare® will raise the cost of healthcare, not lower it.
I bet that I'm right, and that Paul Krugman turns out to be wrong.
I repeat....Thirty years from now, it will turn out that a blogger/shipping manager with an Education degree from Delta State University was right about a simple economic concept. The Nobel Prize winner in
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Another modest wager
Here's Jonathan Adler, in National Review's "The Corner" blog:
Time to Change the Subject?
Let's see now. Deficit projections are once again on the rise as Obama's approval rating falls. Health-care reform is faltering, climate-change legislation is stalled, and David Axlerod is under fire for his conflicts of interest.
Seems like a good time to change the subject.
Contents of the CIA inspector general's report on harsh interrogation methods have already leaked, so it won't do the trick.
If I were a betting man, I'd expect something else to drop Monday or Tuesday.
I agree. I visit Talking Points Memo almost every day (they're one of the biggest Democrat clearinghouses for leftover Bush scandals), and they've had the same headline for about 48 hours. I'll bet a scandal from the Bush boom is exposed sometime before lunch on Monday.
Time to Change the Subject?
Let's see now. Deficit projections are once again on the rise as Obama's approval rating falls. Health-care reform is faltering, climate-change legislation is stalled, and David Axlerod is under fire for his conflicts of interest.
Seems like a good time to change the subject.
Contents of the CIA inspector general's report on harsh interrogation methods have already leaked, so it won't do the trick.
If I were a betting man, I'd expect something else to drop Monday or Tuesday.
I agree. I visit Talking Points Memo almost every day (they're one of the biggest Democrat clearinghouses for leftover Bush scandals), and they've had the same headline for about 48 hours. I'll bet a scandal from the Bush boom is exposed sometime before lunch on Monday.
Friday, June 12, 2009
The Latest Sin Tax
A few weeks ago I posted a bet about the price of Coca-Cola in one of our warehouses.
In short, because of the porkulus plan, increased spending, and the Teleprompter Jesus pumping more money into the system, do you think the price of soft drinks in this machine will double in less than a year, or will it take more than a year?
This is good news for those of us who took the "under".
Unfortunately.
There are some bets you don't want to win. We're still holding steady at .50 cents.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
2 charts, 300 Million Chumps, No Change, and a Challenge
Here's a chart recently published by The Washington Post. It shows the George W. Bush era budget deficits in gray. (Note to all Republicans: Please take note of the Clinton era surpluses.)
The Bush spending deficits were the worst thing to happen to us in recent memory, and they represent The Failed Economic Policies Of The Past Eight Years, as we often heard during last year's presidential campaign.
Unfortunately for us, the Bush deficits were merely a forerunner, a warmup band, a John The Baptist that came along before the real thing.
When the Bush deficits are making love, they sometimes like to fantasize that they hang down like the projected Obama deficits.
The pink lines on the chart are the White House guesstimates of how much they're going to spend that they don't have. The red lines are the Congressional budget office guesstimates. (They only differ by 100 BILLION in the first year.)
But according to The Teleprompter Jesus, no one with a household income of less than $250,000.00 pear year is going to see a tax increase.
How is this possible, you ask, without confiscating every penny earned by households bringing home more than $250K ??
Well, Obama now controls something invented by Gutenberg, developed by The Gideon Bible people, and perfected by The Watchtower Society.
Obama owns some printing presses.
This chart shows the number of dollars in circulation since 1910.
The Bush spending deficits were the worst thing to happen to us in recent memory, and they represent The Failed Economic Policies Of The Past Eight Years, as we often heard during last year's presidential campaign.
Unfortunately for us, the Bush deficits were merely a forerunner, a warmup band, a John The Baptist that came along before the real thing.
When the Bush deficits are making love, they sometimes like to fantasize that they hang down like the projected Obama deficits.
The pink lines on the chart are the White House guesstimates of how much they're going to spend that they don't have. The red lines are the Congressional budget office guesstimates. (They only differ by 100 BILLION in the first year.)
But according to The Teleprompter Jesus, no one with a household income of less than $250,000.00 pear year is going to see a tax increase.
How is this possible, you ask, without confiscating every penny earned by households bringing home more than $250K ??
Well, Obama now controls something invented by Gutenberg, developed by The Gideon Bible people, and perfected by The Watchtower Society.
Obama owns some printing presses.
This chart shows the number of dollars in circulation since 1910.
If you look closely you'll see that the thin blue line, representing the billions of dollars in circulation, goes into the stratosphere in 2009. Almost off the top of the chart. Why go through the political inconvenience of taxing voters if you can simply print more money to pay your expenses?
They're out there! ! Those new dollars are out there, and they're shrinking inside your wallet ! ! The funny money is now bailing out Chrysler and G.M. ! ! The Obamabucks are being passed along to Wall Street Fat Cats so they won't lose their summer homes ! ! They were handed out as AIG bonuses ! ! And they'll soon be coming to a make-work project for campaign donors in your town ! !
How will you recognize them ? How will you know if you have one of the new dollars?
You'll know you've got one when you see that it won't buy very much.
In his book "The Revolution: A Manifesto", Ron Paul defines inflation as "an increase in the money supply". Others have defined inflation as too much money chasing too few products.
Unfortunately, most voters will just think that prices are going up. According to the great Ludwig Von Mises, governments prefer for people to think that prices are going up, when the truth is that the money supply is increasing.
Let's create a little wager. It's about a Coke machine. (Actually a Pepsi machine, but calling it "Coke" is a North Texas sociological phenomenon best explained by this chart. Hit the link. It's worth it.)
This Coke machine is in one of the warehouses that I manage for Jukt Micronics. It's one of the few remaining machines on our planet that doesn't already take dollar bills. I have abolutely no influence over the price of the 12 oz. canned Cokes this machine dispenses. I have no inside knowledge about when prices will go up (or down. Like that's gonna happen.)
The Cokes now cost .50 cents.
The Jukt Micronics maintenance staff stocks the machine with drinks purchased at Sam's Club or Costco. They mark up the price just enough to cover the hassle of stocking the machines and setting aside some profit for our holiday parties.
I'm taking wagers on when the 12 oz canned drinks from this machine will cost one dollar. I'll get Dr. Ralph, Fembuttx, Marvel Variants, or some other trusted individual to swing by the warehouse and verify that the machine exists, and that the .50 current price I've shown is accurate.
The over/under date is May 26 of 2010. For those of you who don't suffer from a Compulsive Gambling Disorder, let me explain:
Taking the "Over" means you think the price will hit a dollar after that date. Taking the "Under" means you think the price will hit a dollar before that date. Every time the price mysteriously goes up by a nickel or a dime, believe me, I'll provide pictures.
In order to finance Obama's spending spree, I believe we're going to be paying twice as much for everything within two years. And those of us on salaries, hourly wages, or (God help you) fixed incomes won't see income increases keeping up with inflation.
But thank God no one is going to raise our taxes.
P.S. - If you saw the title of this post and didn't know who the 300 million chumps are, you might be one of them. Here's a hint: take the under.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Super Bowl Picks
Okay, enough about politics and theology and other deep chin-stroking topics.
We have a football game this weekend.
Super Bowl 43.
The Arizona Cardinals vs The Pittsburgh Steelers.
The line opened with Steelers -6.5, and there was so much money wagered on the Steelers that they've increased the spread to Steelers by 7. Super Bowls are usually blowouts by the home team. The favorite usually wins. But I like the Cardinals to at least cover a 7-point spread.
And now, the fun stuff....
The winning coach usually gets a sideline Gatorade shower. Odds are 3-1 that the Gatorade will be yellow, instead of any other color. Load up on the other color. There's been so much publicity on this bet, I'm predicting some contrarians have stocked the coolers with the Red Fruit Punch flavor.
Here are a few others listed by Fox Sports:
Kurt Warner -23.5 passing yards over Ben Roethlisberger. If the Cardinals are going to at least cover a 7-point spread, it'll be because Warner throws at least 75 yards more than Big Ben. Take Warner.
Will Kurt Warner break Joe Montana's Career Super Bowl Record of 1,142 Passing Yards? Yes: +475 No: -700 (If you don't understand Money Line "Yes/No" bets, click here.) Take the NO, and quickly. Warner would need 364 passing yards to do this, and that ain't going to happen.
Total rushing yards by Willie Parker — Over/Under 75.5 The guys at Fox News don't like the odds of Parker breaking 75.5, and took the under. The guys at Fox News also didn't like the odds of Barack Obama being elected President. Take the over.
Total receiving yards by Larry Fitzgerald — Over/Under 83.5 Larry Fitzgerald is a beast. Larry Fitzgerald is not human. Larry Fitzgerald doesn't just bite, he also chews. Take the over.
Total kickoff returns by both teams — Over/Under 9.5 Remember, you have a kickoff to begin each half. That leaves you with only 8 more touchdowns or field goals needed to break this one. I think we'll have plenty of field goals. I like the over.
Total distance on the first punt of the game — Over/Under 41.5 yards Yeah, your typical NFL punter can boot it a lot further than 41.5 yards. But what if you're kicking from somewhere in no-man's land between midfield and field goal range? Go under.
Pittsburgh + Arizona total points -12.5 over LeBron James total points at Detroit For newcomers to Super Bowl betting insanity, you might need me to break this one down for you. Here's how it works. Add up the total points scored in the Super Bowl. Subtract 12.5 points. (The half point eliminates any chance of a tie.) Is this number higher or lower than the number of points that the NBA's LeBron James of the Cleveland Cavaliers will score against the Detroit Pistons?
LeBron knows about this bet, right? LeBron will want to reward everyone who picked him to cover this, right? LeBron has been averaging 28 points per game, right? LeBron can control his own destiny in this thing easier than the Steelers and Cardinals, right? Take LeBron.
Pittsburgh + Arizona total sacks -0.5 over Ernie Els fourth round birdies (18 holes/Dubai Classic) It's golf, fer heaven's sake. Who cares? Take the sack total anway.
How long will it take Jennifer Hudson to sing the National anthem? — Over/Under 1:54 Just one minute and fifty four seconds? Jennifer Hudson is going to throw in more obligattos, fermatas, trills, shakes and shimmies than Francis Scott Key could have imagined. Yes, I know the music at these things is always pre-recorded. There are people out there who already know the exact length of Sunday's national anthem. But if you're singing at the Super Bowl, you don't sing it like a marching band plays it. Take the over.
What color will (Cardinals owner) Bill Bidwell's bow tie be? Red -600, Any other color +400 Cardinals are red. The team and the bird. Bidwell usually wears red bow ties, except for when he doesn't. He wears red so often that I think this one is fixed, simply because they're willing to take money on it as a competitive wager. I think someone has gotten Bidwell a good luck bow tie in a color other than red. Take the other color.
These picks have been brought to you by The Whited Sepulchre Sports Wagering Ministry.
We have a football game this weekend.
Super Bowl 43.
The Arizona Cardinals vs The Pittsburgh Steelers.
The line opened with Steelers -6.5, and there was so much money wagered on the Steelers that they've increased the spread to Steelers by 7. Super Bowls are usually blowouts by the home team. The favorite usually wins. But I like the Cardinals to at least cover a 7-point spread.
And now, the fun stuff....
The winning coach usually gets a sideline Gatorade shower. Odds are 3-1 that the Gatorade will be yellow, instead of any other color. Load up on the other color. There's been so much publicity on this bet, I'm predicting some contrarians have stocked the coolers with the Red Fruit Punch flavor.
Here are a few others listed by Fox Sports:
Kurt Warner -23.5 passing yards over Ben Roethlisberger. If the Cardinals are going to at least cover a 7-point spread, it'll be because Warner throws at least 75 yards more than Big Ben. Take Warner.
Will Kurt Warner break Joe Montana's Career Super Bowl Record of 1,142 Passing Yards? Yes: +475 No: -700 (If you don't understand Money Line "Yes/No" bets, click here.) Take the NO, and quickly. Warner would need 364 passing yards to do this, and that ain't going to happen.
Total rushing yards by Willie Parker — Over/Under 75.5 The guys at Fox News don't like the odds of Parker breaking 75.5, and took the under. The guys at Fox News also didn't like the odds of Barack Obama being elected President. Take the over.
Total receiving yards by Larry Fitzgerald — Over/Under 83.5 Larry Fitzgerald is a beast. Larry Fitzgerald is not human. Larry Fitzgerald doesn't just bite, he also chews. Take the over.
Total kickoff returns by both teams — Over/Under 9.5 Remember, you have a kickoff to begin each half. That leaves you with only 8 more touchdowns or field goals needed to break this one. I think we'll have plenty of field goals. I like the over.
Total distance on the first punt of the game — Over/Under 41.5 yards Yeah, your typical NFL punter can boot it a lot further than 41.5 yards. But what if you're kicking from somewhere in no-man's land between midfield and field goal range? Go under.
Pittsburgh + Arizona total points -12.5 over LeBron James total points at Detroit For newcomers to Super Bowl betting insanity, you might need me to break this one down for you. Here's how it works. Add up the total points scored in the Super Bowl. Subtract 12.5 points. (The half point eliminates any chance of a tie.) Is this number higher or lower than the number of points that the NBA's LeBron James of the Cleveland Cavaliers will score against the Detroit Pistons?
LeBron knows about this bet, right? LeBron will want to reward everyone who picked him to cover this, right? LeBron has been averaging 28 points per game, right? LeBron can control his own destiny in this thing easier than the Steelers and Cardinals, right? Take LeBron.
Pittsburgh + Arizona total sacks -0.5 over Ernie Els fourth round birdies (18 holes/Dubai Classic) It's golf, fer heaven's sake. Who cares? Take the sack total anway.
How long will it take Jennifer Hudson to sing the National anthem? — Over/Under 1:54 Just one minute and fifty four seconds? Jennifer Hudson is going to throw in more obligattos, fermatas, trills, shakes and shimmies than Francis Scott Key could have imagined. Yes, I know the music at these things is always pre-recorded. There are people out there who already know the exact length of Sunday's national anthem. But if you're singing at the Super Bowl, you don't sing it like a marching band plays it. Take the over.
What color will (Cardinals owner) Bill Bidwell's bow tie be? Red -600, Any other color +400 Cardinals are red. The team and the bird. Bidwell usually wears red bow ties, except for when he doesn't. He wears red so often that I think this one is fixed, simply because they're willing to take money on it as a competitive wager. I think someone has gotten Bidwell a good luck bow tie in a color other than red. Take the other color.
These picks have been brought to you by The Whited Sepulchre Sports Wagering Ministry.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
When Will The U.S. National Debt Reach The 11 Trillion Dollar Mark?
Texas Senators John Cornyn and Kay Bailey Hutchison both voted for the $700 billion giveaway.
It's cloaked in the language of Propping Up The Financial System and Preventing An Economic Apocalypse.
I don't buy it.
They're going to take your money and invest it in homes that were built during a housing bubble and sold during a housing bubble.
The idea is that they're going to unload all these houses onto unwary purchasers during the next housing bubble.
There might be some unwary purchasers left out there. People who've been living under rocks, the mentally ill, North Koreans, etc.
In the meantime, keep an eye on the National Debt meter to your right. When I installed it a few months ago, it was at 9.5 trillion, and now we're hitting 9.8 trillion. Unless the remaining rational beings in the House of Representatives hold their ground, we'll be at 10 trillion next week.
So here's the question. When do you think the National Debt meter will hit 11 trillion dollars?
Since we'll probably have the blessings of an Obama presidency with a Democratic majority in the House and Senate next year, I'm betting that we'll hit the 11 trillion mark by 1:15 p.m., October 2nd, 2009.
Place your wagers below. Give time, date, and year. Person to come closest gets a two dollar contribution for a down payment on a Community Reinvestment Act home in Yazoo City, Mississippi.
And by the way, Kay Bailey Hutchison and John Cornyn must be punished.
It's cloaked in the language of Propping Up The Financial System and Preventing An Economic Apocalypse.
I don't buy it.
They're going to take your money and invest it in homes that were built during a housing bubble and sold during a housing bubble.
The idea is that they're going to unload all these houses onto unwary purchasers during the next housing bubble.
There might be some unwary purchasers left out there. People who've been living under rocks, the mentally ill, North Koreans, etc.
In the meantime, keep an eye on the National Debt meter to your right. When I installed it a few months ago, it was at 9.5 trillion, and now we're hitting 9.8 trillion. Unless the remaining rational beings in the House of Representatives hold their ground, we'll be at 10 trillion next week.
So here's the question. When do you think the National Debt meter will hit 11 trillion dollars?
Since we'll probably have the blessings of an Obama presidency with a Democratic majority in the House and Senate next year, I'm betting that we'll hit the 11 trillion mark by 1:15 p.m., October 2nd, 2009.
Place your wagers below. Give time, date, and year. Person to come closest gets a two dollar contribution for a down payment on a Community Reinvestment Act home in Yazoo City, Mississippi.
And by the way, Kay Bailey Hutchison and John Cornyn must be punished.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Lewis Gordon Pugh - unable to kayak to Santa's workshop
Around the beginning of the summer, an explorer named Lewis Gordon Pugh announced that he was going to paddle a kayak all the way to the North Pole. Pugh apparently believed that there would be little or no ice blocking his way.
The internet was jammed with posts about the Arctic being melted by September.
I made the offer of a $50 wager against anyone willing to put up $10 that this guy would have to turn around before reaching the North Pole. The great Dr. Ralph took me up on it.
Well, not only did the guy turn around before reaching Santa's workshop, the objective of the publicity stunt/journey changed. It began as a trip to the North Pole in a kayak to show that there wasn't any ice left. Unfortunately for Pugh, by the time the kayak left The Mother Ship it was obvious that the only way to get him and his kayak to the North Pole would be to hook them both to Balto the mighty sled dog and start saying "mush".
The purpose of the trip had to change, since it was obvious to everyone that there was a shitload of ice between Lewis Pugh and the North Pole.
Therefore, they turned it into something about posting the flags of every nation in the Arctic, to show how we all need the Arctic. Never mind that there wasn't room in the freakin' kayak for 192 flags, and the flags had to ride in the support boat. We're talking symbolism, not substance here.
Dr Ralph can drop an extra $10 in the offering plate at Broadway Baptist Church (all loose offerings go to the homeless), and we'll be even. (I'm tempted to ask him to contribute it to Sarah Palin, but he would probably implode. And if I were to lose a bet with him one day....I can't even think about it.)
Plus, Dr. Ralph only made the bet out of tribal loyalty.
In general, my gambling M.O. works like this: Find people who are illogically loyal to the home team, catch them in a weak moment, and make a statement against all that they consider holy. Then put it in the form of a wager. For instance, when dealing with a large gathering of Dallas Cowboys fanatics, state that the Cowboys are ok this year, but not good enough to beat Cleveland by 21 points. They will crawl all over each other to disagree. Present a wager. Wait. Collect money.
So now that I've laid it out for everyone, let's try another Global Warming Climate Change wager....
I think that the idea that we cause Climate Change is totally nuts. It happens with us or without us. There used to be farms all over Greenland, but the climate went through a cyclical change and now that entire area is covered with ice and snow. SUV's had nothing to do with it.
We keep getting Chicken Little alarms that the sky is falling, the seas are rising, the poles are melting, and they're not going to stop until Gore gets enough government funding and subsidies to get his alternative energy start-ups off the ground. Then he's going to work on requiring us to purchase whatever snake oil he's selling.
The Spectator has an article stating that:
The Northwest Passage has been a focal point for both environmentalists and shipping companies for years. The sea route along the North American coast has been blocked for hundreds of years by a pack of Arctic ice. But through climate change the pack is melting away and the waters may soon be available for maritime use in 2009. This new route could chop thousands of nautical miles off journeys from Europe to Asia.
But the melting of the ice pack shows worrying trends in global warming. The ice pack blocking the route has reached its smallest size since records began. The pack’s disappearance has been exacerbated by its melting rate speeding up during its usual cooling season. The event serves as a prescient reminder to politicians that climate change is an ever burning issue – credit crunch or no credit crunch.
Thanks to Chris at Counting Cats for bringing this article to my attention.
Note the need for speed in the last sentence of the article. Gore ain't getting any younger, and wants your money now.
So do I. I'll bet $50 against your $10 that the Northwest Passage isn't clear enough for ships by 2009.
Any takers?
Sunday, July 27, 2008
A Modest Wager On Global Warming Climate Change
I try not to post too much on Global Warming Climate Change, since it eventually comes down to placing bets on what's going to happen with the weather. It's either going to get warmer or cooler. It's going to rain more or it's going to rain less.
I think that we cannot change the weather, but Reverend Pat Robertson and Al Gore disagree with me.
After a while it becomes tiresome.
But I found this series of charts on an Australian site. Interesting stuff. The links provided in the comment field could keep you busy all day, if you are so inclined.
The seven charts basically demonstrate the following:
(The italics are just me reminding you of other unfounded fears.)
1) The world isn't warming (and the sky isn't falling).
2) The lower atmosphere has actually been cooling (and airliners aren't going to drop out of the sky because of the Y2K problem).
3) The seas have been rising for about the last 150 years, but now they've stopped (and God isn't going to call down judgement on New Orleans because of a heavy concentration of Gays and Lesbians).
4) The amount of sea ice is heavier than usual (and no one has ever documented a case of razor blades hidden in Halloween apples).
5) We don't have any more cyclones or hurricanes than usual (remember the freakout in China over SARS? Chill. There's nothing to worry about).
6) It still rains (remember last week, when we were all afraid to eat tomatos? Turns out, we should've worried about jalapenos. Or something totally different. We don't know.)
7) There were once farms in Greenland, somewhere beneath all that ice. (and if you step on a crack, it won't break your mother's back).
We enjoy good food. We enjoy companionship. And we enjoy freaking out over things that aren't going to happen. Otherwise we feel guilty for "not doing enough about it".
For years and years, I've known that people enjoy supporting the home team, even when the odds are against them. So I make money betting against home teams with home team supporters. It's easy, and keeps me in lunch money. But now it's time to branch out.
A U.K. athlete/adventurerer/explorer named Lewis Pugh is going to try to kayak from Norway to the North Pole. His point is that there won't be enough ice to prevent him from getting there.
I'll bet $50 against your $10 that he doesn't make it. Email me (see user profile) or use the comment field. First person to do so gets to make the bet. All bets are off if he uses his support boat as an ice breaker.
Any takers?
I think that we cannot change the weather, but Reverend Pat Robertson and Al Gore disagree with me.
After a while it becomes tiresome.
But I found this series of charts on an Australian site. Interesting stuff. The links provided in the comment field could keep you busy all day, if you are so inclined.
The seven charts basically demonstrate the following:
(The italics are just me reminding you of other unfounded fears.)
1) The world isn't warming (and the sky isn't falling).
2) The lower atmosphere has actually been cooling (and airliners aren't going to drop out of the sky because of the Y2K problem).
3) The seas have been rising for about the last 150 years, but now they've stopped (and God isn't going to call down judgement on New Orleans because of a heavy concentration of Gays and Lesbians).
4) The amount of sea ice is heavier than usual (and no one has ever documented a case of razor blades hidden in Halloween apples).
5) We don't have any more cyclones or hurricanes than usual (remember the freakout in China over SARS? Chill. There's nothing to worry about).
6) It still rains (remember last week, when we were all afraid to eat tomatos? Turns out, we should've worried about jalapenos. Or something totally different. We don't know.)
7) There were once farms in Greenland, somewhere beneath all that ice. (and if you step on a crack, it won't break your mother's back).
We enjoy good food. We enjoy companionship. And we enjoy freaking out over things that aren't going to happen. Otherwise we feel guilty for "not doing enough about it".
For years and years, I've known that people enjoy supporting the home team, even when the odds are against them. So I make money betting against home teams with home team supporters. It's easy, and keeps me in lunch money. But now it's time to branch out.
A U.K. athlete/adventurerer/explorer named Lewis Pugh is going to try to kayak from Norway to the North Pole. His point is that there won't be enough ice to prevent him from getting there.
I'll bet $50 against your $10 that he doesn't make it. Email me (see user profile) or use the comment field. First person to do so gets to make the bet. All bets are off if he uses his support boat as an ice breaker.
Any takers?
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