Saturday, July 3, 2010

Happy Dependence Day ! !

It's the day before Independence Day, boys and girls ! 

We're going to start celebrating something called Dependence Day every July 3rd.  Dependence Day will celebrate Nanny State over-reach and those who love it. 

So if you think New York's menu-labeling law is a good idea, this day is for you.  After all, how else will you ever learn that deep-fried butter might be harmful? 

Do you believe that it should be illegal to give women free access to bars and clubs while making men pay a cover charge?  James Kirkpatrick of the state of Minnesota has put on his cavalry uniform and come to your rescue.  Happy Dependence Day, you helpless Cheeseheads. 



If you're offended by the plotline of Eric Carle's book, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, and don't see anything funny about the sticker shown on the cover below, well, Happy Dependence Day.  There is a concerned group out there, ready to say that your beer gut isn't your fault. 



If you feel better knowing that our government is thinking of imposing a sin tax on soda (soda is the same thing as "pop" in New England and "Coke" in the Deep South) despite paying billions to corn farmers in subsidies to keep the price of corn syrup low?  Well, if you think that government knows what's best for Coca-Cola drinkers and for corn farmers, this holiday is for you.  Happy Freakin' Dependence Day !!

Do you believe that florists should be licensed to keep out competitors, to ensure that all floral arrangements are safe and tasteful?  Congratulations.  You're saving and creating government regulatory jobs that couldn't exist without your dumb ass.  Happy Dependence Day ! ! 

If you think The Beatles should've been more careful, then I hope you have a great July 3rd. 

If you believe that interns shouldn't be allowed to work for free, just to gain valuable experience, then Happy Dependence Day to you.  You may have killed one of the best career entry catapults ever devised. 

If you feel more comfortable when your toast has a warning, HAPPY DEPENDENCE DAY ! 

Most of the pictures from this post came from this discussion board.  Blogger advisory: Many of the topics discussed are possibly offensive to women, nanny-state advocates, the differently abled, racial minorities, men, people who tend to slip on wet floors, white folks, left-handed people, and those who think of themselves as average.  Discretion is advised.  TheWhitedSepulchre.Blogspot.Com is not responsible for injuries sustained, or damages to the self-esteem of those hitting the link, which is provided as a courtesy, not as a recommendation.  The opinions presented there are not those of TheWhitedSepulchre.Blogspot.Com or its employees.  In fact, the government should probably shut the thing down to avoid possible offense or injury. 

5 comments:

Nick Rowe said...

Burnt toast causes cancer. Didn't you know that?

We need to add that to the warning label.

CenTexTim said...

"your beer gut isn't your fault"

Oh thank God. I was afraid it was because I drink a 6 pack a day and don't exercise. It's such a relief to know it's someone else's fault: an evil corporation, or a conservative, or even worse - a libertarian.

Nick Rowe said...

When in the course of government events it becomes necessary to impose bands on people which assume the power of the Laws of Nature and demands respect of it's subjects for all laws it deems fitting and proper.

We hold these myths to be self-evident: that some men need affirmative action to achieve equal outcomes, that we are endowed by a complete accident of nature certain unalienable entitlements. Among these are women murdering their unborn children, social security and welfare, and the pursuit of American citizenship by illegal aliens. That to secure these rights government is instituted among elites, deriving their unjust power from nepotism and special interest campaign contributions. That whenever freedom becomes destructive to the preservation of government ends, it is the Power of government to abolish all rights and institute new programs and policies laying its foundation upon such government as to them shall seem likely to effect government's power and compensation.

Prudence will indeed dictate that government programs long established should not be changed for any cause and all experience hath shewn that mankind is disposed to suffer and that government is the form of suffering to which they are most accustomed. When a long train of irresponsible behavior of subjects evinces a design to reduce them to absolute despotism, it is their responsibility to accept such government to guard their security.

Anonymous said...

Hey Allen - Cool stuff! I think Wisconsonites consider themselves cheeseheads, not Minnesotans. I work in Wisconsin occasionally (2 months this year) and yes, they are cheesheads!

TarrantLibertyGuy said...

After reading that book, I think it did influence my eating disorder. I have an uncrontrollable urge to eat caterpillars.