Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Why the Republicans shouldn't change the time of their debate

Somebody has scheduled The Teleprompter Jesus to make a very, very, very important jobs speech on Wednesday, September 7.  Obama is going to roll out his new plan to create jobs.  Very, very important. 

By accident or by design, this speech clashes with the Republican Primary debate to be held on the same date. 

Republican Speaker John Boehner, who apparently has the imagination of a potted plant, has actually asked The Teleprompter Programmers to schedule Obama's speech for a different time !!!!

The Republicans shouldn't dare push for a different time for Obama to read his jobs speech.  Opportunities like this one are rare.   

Jay Carney, the White House Press Secretary, came very close to the best solution.  Carney suggested that the Republicans postpone their debate by an hour

Close, but not quite good enough. 

Here's what the Republican Party oughta do.  (I'm in the shipping and freight industry, and that qualifies me to make these suggestions.....)

The Obama jobs speech should be allowed to roll, uninterupted, on a mega-screen onstage at The Reagan Library, somewhere to the left or right of the debaters.  Let Obama's speech play for about 5 minutes.  This will allow Obama's programmers to blame Bush, blame the earthquake, blame what all he inherited, blame the Japanese Nuke Meltdown, blame the moon for being in the cusp between Virgo and Libra, and all of the usual Barackaganda that we've come to know and love.  None of that mess deserves a rebuttal any longer.   

When those 5 minutes of Presidential Throat-Clearing have run their course, each candidate for the Republican nomination will be handed a remote control that will allow him or her to freeze Obama's speech for 45 seconds.  Whoever hits "pause" first would get 45 seconds to destroy whatever Statist lunacy our president has proposed.  Green Jobs, another stimulus, tax credits for behaving nicely, indebting unborn fetuses, investing in education, or whatever.  Rip it to shreds.  If someone wants to take a whack at, say, borrowing more money from China, he too can hit the pause button. 

The video could be programmed to ration one minute of Obama's Keynesian fantasies to every three minutes of Republican attempts at rebuttal, no matter how many candidates have hit the pause button.  After all, it's gotta end sometime.  I don't believe any responses but Ron Paul's would be worth listening to, but it would be some great freakin' television.  And if The Programmers know that the words they'll put in Obama's mouth are going to be ravaged in real time, it could possibly save the nation a few trillion dollars.  Who knows what could happen? 

One other question about this debate.... Why is the Lamestream Media's favorite Republican, Jon Huntsman, allowed to participate, while New Mexico's Libertarianish former governor Gary Johnson not allowed onstage? 


Nick said...

Simply brilliant. Proof that there are devious and creative minds left in this country - a live fisking!

Of course it would be best if Obama didnt know it was going to happen. I could imagine the panic of his staff as they watched the drama unfold.

The bad thing about politicans is that theyre such terrible leaders. The worse thing is that theyre even worse politicians.

The Whited Sepulchre said...

Yeah. But i think they've already rescheduled one or the other.
We can only think of what might have been....