I posted some of this back in 2010. Here it is again with quite a few updates. Enjoy!!
If you've ever waited at a stoplight and wondered how much more efficient it would be if stoplights were privatized, you might be a Libertarian.
If you've ever wondered who told Papa Smurf that he could boss around all the other Smurfs, you might just be a Libertarian.
If you know how to pronounce the name "Ludwig Von Mises", you might be a Libertarian.
If one of your buddies once "reluctantly called the Fire Department", he might be a Libertarian.
If your dogs know to run out of the room when someone on CNN says the word "stimulus", you might be a Libertarian.
If you think the funniest three words in the English language are "Small Government Republican", you might be a Libertarian.
If you've ever gone camping on Halloween, under a full moon, next to a cemetery, and waited til midnight to build a campfire so you and your buddies can sit around it and read Obama's Jobs Bill, you might be a Libertarian.
If you can't see a Broken Window without thinking of a dead French economist, you might be a Libertarian.
If you can explain why Ben Bernanke should be prosecuted as a counterfeiter, you're a Libertarian.
If you've ever stood behind a podium and boasted that "Our candidate broke 5 percent !", you might be a Libertarian.
If the audience started applauding madly, they were all Libertarians.
If you've ever had a dream where you were locked in a room with Alexander Hamilton, a rabid dog, one gun, and two bullets, and in your dream you shot Alexander Hamilton twice....you might be a Libertarian.
If you win a celebrity lunch with someone named "Hayek" but are secretly disappointed that it is Selma and not Friederich, you're a Libertarian.
If your top three baby names under consideration are Cato, Dagny, and Atlas, you might be a Libertarian.
If you've ever wondered why we're spending money to have our navy defend Japan and Taiwan from China, using money that we're borrowing from....China, you just might be a Libertarian.
If you root for certain sports teams because they don't play in publicly funded stadiums, you might be a Libertarian.
If you know how many ounces of silver any of your friends own, you might be a Libertarian.
If you've ever been to a Tea Party rally, a NORML meeting, a Gay Rights parade, a Peace Run, and helped staff a gun show all in the same month? You're probably me. And you're a Libertarian.
If you've ever paid twice as much for a black leather jacket instead of a similar brown one, because black is what Nick Gillespie wears, you might be a Libertarian.
If you didn't have to hit the link in the previous joke, you're a Libertarian.
If you think that Barry Goldwater was too soft on Communism, you might be a Libertarian.
If you think that Karl Marx's quote "From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs" is a great way to encourage people to hide their abilities and publicize their needs, well, you might be a Libertarian. (I don't know where I first heard that. Will give attribution if someone will tell me.)
If you've ever Googled the words "John Stossel DVD Boxed Set", you might be a Libertarian.
If you think the phrase "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" should apply to almost everything, because after all it's nobody else's damn business as long as nobody else gets hurt, you might be a Libertarian.
If you've ever broken up with someone because she wouldn't say "Federal Reserve Note" instead of "Dollar", you might be a Libertarian.
If you've ever spent an entire damn day going through damn job applications looking for a decent damn employee, and wondered why the damn public schools can't produce graduates who can write or spell, but the Catholic and other parochial schools don't have that damn problem??? You might be a pissed off Libertarian who wishes he didn't have to pay the damn schools to produce more damn illiterates. Dammit.
If you've ever carried a pistol because policemen are just too damn heavy, you might be a Libertarian.
If you not only believe that marijuana should be legalized, but that morphine sulfate should be available in five pound bags at the supermarket for a couple of bucks, like sugar... but probably in a different aisle, to avoid confusion, well, if you go that far with it, you're probably a Libertarian.
If you've ever gone into a singles bar thinking that The Nolan Chart would be a good conversation starter, you just might be a Libertarian.
If you've ever officiated at a wedding, and began the ceremony by making fun of the marriage "license" concept, you might be a Libertarian.
If you followed that with a refusal to say "by the power vested in me by the state of Texas", you might be a Libertarian.
If everyone in the wedding party and congregations laughed like hell, they were all Libertarians.
If you own one of the rare Milton Friedman action figures, you might be a Libertarian.
And last, but not least, if you understood everything I just wrote, you might be a Libertarian.
Go here to join the party ! !
If you've ever waited at a stoplight and wondered how much more efficient it would be if stoplights were privatized, you might be a Libertarian.
If you've ever wondered who told Papa Smurf that he could boss around all the other Smurfs, you might just be a Libertarian.
If you know how to pronounce the name "Ludwig Von Mises", you might be a Libertarian.
If one of your buddies once "reluctantly called the Fire Department", he might be a Libertarian.
If your dogs know to run out of the room when someone on CNN says the word "stimulus", you might be a Libertarian.
If you think the funniest three words in the English language are "Small Government Republican", you might be a Libertarian.
If you've ever gone camping on Halloween, under a full moon, next to a cemetery, and waited til midnight to build a campfire so you and your buddies can sit around it and read Obama's Jobs Bill, you might be a Libertarian.
If you can't see a Broken Window without thinking of a dead French economist, you might be a Libertarian.
If you can explain why Ben Bernanke should be prosecuted as a counterfeiter, you're a Libertarian.
If you've ever stood behind a podium and boasted that "Our candidate broke 5 percent !", you might be a Libertarian.
If the audience started applauding madly, they were all Libertarians.
If you've ever had a dream where you were locked in a room with Alexander Hamilton, a rabid dog, one gun, and two bullets, and in your dream you shot Alexander Hamilton twice....you might be a Libertarian.
If you win a celebrity lunch with someone named "Hayek" but are secretly disappointed that it is Selma and not Friederich, you're a Libertarian.
If your top three baby names under consideration are Cato, Dagny, and Atlas, you might be a Libertarian.
If you've ever wondered why we're spending money to have our navy defend Japan and Taiwan from China, using money that we're borrowing from....China, you just might be a Libertarian.
If you root for certain sports teams because they don't play in publicly funded stadiums, you might be a Libertarian.
If you know how many ounces of silver any of your friends own, you might be a Libertarian.
If you've ever been to a Tea Party rally, a NORML meeting, a Gay Rights parade, a Peace Run, and helped staff a gun show all in the same month? You're probably me. And you're a Libertarian.
If you've ever paid twice as much for a black leather jacket instead of a similar brown one, because black is what Nick Gillespie wears, you might be a Libertarian.
If you didn't have to hit the link in the previous joke, you're a Libertarian.
If you think that Barry Goldwater was too soft on Communism, you might be a Libertarian.
If you've ever Googled the words "John Stossel DVD Boxed Set", you might be a Libertarian.
If you think the phrase "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" should apply to almost everything, because after all it's nobody else's damn business as long as nobody else gets hurt, you might be a Libertarian.
If you've ever broken up with someone because she wouldn't say "Federal Reserve Note" instead of "Dollar", you might be a Libertarian.
If you've ever spent an entire damn day going through damn job applications looking for a decent damn employee, and wondered why the damn public schools can't produce graduates who can write or spell, but the Catholic and other parochial schools don't have that damn problem??? You might be a pissed off Libertarian who wishes he didn't have to pay the damn schools to produce more damn illiterates. Dammit.
If you've ever carried a pistol because policemen are just too damn heavy, you might be a Libertarian.
If you not only believe that marijuana should be legalized, but that morphine sulfate should be available in five pound bags at the supermarket for a couple of bucks, like sugar... but probably in a different aisle, to avoid confusion, well, if you go that far with it, you're probably a Libertarian.
If you've ever gone into a singles bar thinking that The Nolan Chart would be a good conversation starter, you just might be a Libertarian.
If you've ever officiated at a wedding, and began the ceremony by making fun of the marriage "license" concept, you might be a Libertarian.
If you followed that with a refusal to say "by the power vested in me by the state of Texas", you might be a Libertarian.
If everyone in the wedding party and congregations laughed like hell, they were all Libertarians.
If you own one of the rare Milton Friedman action figures, you might be a Libertarian.
And last, but not least, if you understood everything I just wrote, you might be a Libertarian.
Go here to join the party ! !
2 comments:
"If you win a celebrity lunch with someone named "Hayek" but are secretly disappointed that it is Selma and not Friederich, you're a Libertarian."
I wouldn't go that far.
re: your remarks about NORML and legalized marijuana - I'm a little behind in my reading. By a strange quirk of fate, I just finished reading Texas Monthly's interview with Willie Nelson in the Dec. 2012 issue. An excerpt:
"It’s ridiculous to have all those people down there on the border killing each other, trading drugs and guns. There’s a huge industry down there, and the prisons are full, and the people who own the prisons are very happy about it."
I thought you'd like it...
Oh yes. Will probably post that quote on FB today.
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