Saturday, April 27, 2013

Kevin Is A Democrat. The dachshunds are Republicans.

Several years ago, my daughter, The Aggie, took in a Labrador Retriever puppy. 
She named him Kevin. 
As a puppy, Kevin was fine in her dorm room.  As a full-grown beast, he was a disaster. 
She brought him home from Texas A&M to live in Fort Worth.  He'll be in Fort Worth until The Aggie graduates - probably sometime during the Rodham administration. 

It took Kevin about 20 minutes to learn that he could jump the fence in our back yard.  So he lives inside my house. 
Yeah.  I have a Labrador living in my house, because my daughter who wants to be a doctor thought that he would be a good idea. 

Kevin chews things.  Garbage.  Clothes.  So he has to stay in the back bedroom during the day, or any time no one is around. 

Here's how I know Kevin is a Democrat. 

To get Kevin into the back bedroom, all you have to do is get a couple of doggie-treats.  He'll cheerfully give up his freedom and mobility to get the little freebies that go along with his regular dog food and water.  I throw the goodies onto the bed, he follows the goodies onto the bed and eats them, and I shut the door on him for the next 8 hours.  He has nothing to do but wait on manna from heaven.  He believes that food wouldn't exist unless his owners brought it to him.  Here he is in full dependency mode, sitting by the mailbox waiting on his check to arrive:

BTW, if you have 20 minutes to kill, I have an epic Kevin story posted here

The dachshunds in my back yard are all Republicans. 
Their goal is to keep the back yard safe. 
Border security. 
Day or night, if they see, hear or smell a squirrel, they're going to raise hell. 

If a someone pushes a baby stroller down the street, they're going to bark.  If someone rides by on a bicyle, they're going to bark.  If a jogger goes by, or god forbid, a cat, they're going to bark.  And bark.  And bark.  Until they die.  Intruder alert.  Intruder alert.  Intruder alert.

We've had several car and truck break-ins that they totally missed.  No barking.  No noise.  They were totally useless. 
But the dachshunds still go through the motions of doing their job.  Every 6 months or so, one of them will catch a squirrel, and the captor will carry the carcass around for days, acting like Janet Napolitano, saying "The system worked!  The system worked!"  Then they'll ask for more funding. 

The cats are all Libertarians, of course.  I have no idea where they are or what they do.  None of my business. 


Libertarian Book Club said...

I propose a new feature - Wiener Dog Wednesday!

Think about it.

The Whited Sepulchre said...

The political analogies are almost endless.

Fester said...

After spending his formative year in the socialist enclave of a university, Kevin was ruined for life.

Tudor said...

"The cats are all Libertarians, of course. I have no idea where they are or what they do. None of my business." LOL! How true. :D