I've tried and tried. The outline of a nice, nice, nice Al Gore post is waiting in my head. It's centered around the 1993 Gore/Perot NAFTA debates, which you can see in this YouTube clip around the .40 mark. Brilliant.
But every time I get ready to give St. Albert his overdue dose of nice, something unpleasant intervenes.
Here's what did it to me this time:
Christopher Buckley, the son of the late William F., has started writing editorials for National Review. Here's an excerpt:
Remember those wonderful Soviet Five Year Plans? ....that wheat output in (the) Ukraine will quadruple over the next five years?Buckley continues, saying that in the Soviet Union there was....
(Applause! Yay. Lenin! Yay. Stalin! Whoopee! You guys totally rock!....)
"no Congressional Budget Office pointing out, five years later, the "inconvenient truth" that the Ukraine had produced exactly enough wheat to make one six-pack of blinis. "He then states that George H.W. Bush (Buckley's former boss) once pledged to balance the budget by the middle of the next decade. We all know how that worked out. Buckley then wonders if people down at the general store even comment on John McCain's goal of building 45 nuclear reactors by 2030 (when McCain will be 94 years old).
He finishes the editorial by stating that....
"sometimes goals are reached. Reeling from the Bay of Pigs disaster, President Kennedy changed the subject by announcing that the U.S. was going to put a man on the moon 'Before this decade is out.' " And what do you know, American astronauts were playing golf in the Sea of Tranquility by the end of the decade. So I'm with McCain. I personally plan to lose 40 pounds by 2030."I read that editorial about a week and a half ago, keeping an eye out afterwards for politicians throwing out silly goals with arbitrary deadlines.
Nothing happened for a few days. And then, rising from the pack, St. Albert The Goracle of Music City Tennessee had to have a Kennedy moment and get into the National Courageous Goal Business.
Al Gore has challenged us to abandon all fossil fuels within ten years. Yep. 10 years. This is from Canada's National Post:
On Thursday, former U. S. vice-president Al Gore delivered a major address calling on his country to abandon all fossil fuels within 10 years. By 2018, U. S. electricity and fuel should come entirely from "renewable energy and truly clean, carbon-free sources," he said. Tickets to the event encouraged attendees to "please use public transit, bicycling or other climate-friendly means" to reach the lecture hall.If you're trying to make it through a long, long study hall at school, or if you're serving a long, long prison sentence, you can click here to read 9 months worth of me venting about similar stunts commited by The Goracle. I've really tried to get past this. I have failed.
So how did Mr. Gore and his retinue arrive? In two Lincoln Town Cars and a full-sized SUV that sat idling with the air conditioners blasting while the Gore party was inside.
It was 34 C in Washington. Al Gore can't be expected to get into an overheated vehicle after he's worked up a sweat telling others how to save the planet.
What angers me about this stunt is that it's such a blatant money grab. Kleiner Perkins is going to pay Gore several Tennessee mansions' worth of plunder if he can get enough climate change/energy saving mandates in place. These government mandates, of course, will benefit Kleiner Perkins' alternative energy startup funds.
When Kennedy challenged us to get to the moon within ten years, Kennedy didn't already own large chunks of unreachable lunar real estate and he wasn't hoping to make a killing by selling crater-side condos to astronaut colonists. As best I can tell, Kennedy's family didn't have any investments in the aerospace industry.
Heck, what other Big Hairy Audacious Goals could we shoot for?
McDonald's challenges America to double its Big Mac consumption by the end of this decade ! ! !
Barack Obama courageously challenges the U.S. to elect an African American president by 2008 ! ! !
Betamax double dares you to bring back videocassettes, but in a different format ! ! !
I'm sure there are other ones out there.