Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The Dallas Cowboys and the instruments of God's wrath - The Philadelphia Eagles

As predicted, there was a problem with #9 on Sunday. Hit this link and come back to me.

I feel like the Prophet Isaiah. Or at least a Vegas odds-maker. Tony Romo, #9 for The Dallas Cowboys, had the worst game I can remember from a Dallas quarterback since the Ryan Leaf experiment. The Cowboys, at one point early in the season, were favored to go to the freakin' Super Bowl. Now they won't even be in the playoffs. They got spanked by the Philadelphia Eagles, 44-6.

Every year, I have a wager with a co-worker that the Cowboys won't win a playoff game. They never, ever do. I always eat well in January, because of all that extra money.

Why won't they win a playoff game? (Do you know what the difference is between God and Jerry Jones? God doesn't think that he's Jerry Jones.)
God doesn't like Cowboys owner/General Manager Jerry Jones.
There's no other way to explain it. How else do you explain the Romo Butterfingers on the field goal two years ago, the total meltdowns every December, or the masterpiece that Philly's Donovan McNabb put together last Sunday?

Jerry Jones and the City of Arlington have seized/stolen/taken houses and business via Eminent Domain. They've used the bulldozed space to start construction of a temple in honor of a team that is now 0-12 in the last dozen years' worth of playoff games.

As long as Jones is owner and General Manager, they're not going to win a playoff game. More than anything else, Jones wants to be known as a football X's and O's guy.
But he's not.
Jerry Jones is a brilliant businessman but a crappy evaluator of football talent and team chemistry. He needs to turn the G.M. responsibilities over to someone who doesn't labor under an Old Testament curse. (I work in the shipping, logistics, and freight industry, and that qualifies me to comment on these things.)
Those early Super Bowl wins were because of a team put together by coach Jimmy Johnson. Deal with it.
(Full disclosure: I loved the Johnson era Cowboys, and thought that Jimmy's "Turning The Thing Around" was the best sports-as-metaphor-for-life book I'd ever read.)

Jones fired Johnson because of nothing but ego.

Is there any other franchise in baseball, football, basketball or hockey whose G.M. has gone 12 years without a playoff victory? (Maybe Al Davis, the owner/G.M. of the Oakland Raiders?) Somebody help us out on this....

Next year, the citizens of Dallas/Fort Worth/Arlington Texas will be able to watch an even crappier team, but with the luxury of nicer toilets.

Hardly an even trade-off.

Jerry Jones, you have taken what was not yours. You will atone. God is not mocked.


Jay@Soob said...

Al Davis is like the Robert Mugabe of the sports world. He's run his team into the ground and the only person in the galaxy that doesn't seem to understand that he's run his team into the ground is him.
Jones seems to be following in the same fashion. You'd think he'd have learned from the last pestilence (T.O.) God visited upon him for his mockery and would repent.

Hope you enjoyed bobbing around on a very large boat and good to have you back.

The Whited Sepulchre said...


That's a brilliant analogy.
So if Al Davis is the Robert Mugabe, Jerry "Boss Hawg" Jones would be the Vladmir Putin, who will not relinquish power, but merely brings in one Coach Cupcake/Dmitri Medeved after another to pretend to be the coach?
Or would Castro be the better analogy? Jerry Jones as ailing dictator who actually had a tryout with a big league team way back when, who wants, more than anything else, to roam the sidelines with a cap, clipboard, and whistle. Dying, losing control, pretends to transfer power to brother Raul...but not really.
Or how about this one? Jerry Jones as Hillary Clinton. Both had lots of success in the 1990s. But it was due to Jimmy Johnson/Bill Clinton.

Whew. I went into metaphor overload for a few minutes.

Dr Ralph said...

Let's just cut to the chase: Jerry Jones is the Anti-Christ.

May the Cowboys not win a game until he's sold every last nickel's worth of his interest.

vampE said...

Hear, hear! I stopped watching what was then my beloved Cowboys when Jerry Jones fired Tom Landry. Really. If you doubt that, just try watching a Cowboys game with me today. I have running commentary along the likes of "That was Tony Hill's/Golden Richards'/Jethro Pugh's/etc. old number." Or, "How do they get that yellow line on the football field?" People either laugh or look at me like I'm an alien.

I even saved the newspaper with the Landry fired healdines. With all due homage to Dan Jenkins and "Fast Copy,", they missed the chance to run the Best Headline Ever: "Landry Wept."

The Whited Sepulchre said...

Dr. Paul Epstein-Barr syndrome,

I disagree with your antichrist comparison.
I honest-to-God believe almost the exact opposite. Jones is now on this earth as a warning against hubris and vanity. He will fail miserably (at playoff games, anyway) until he gives the G.M. job to someone who knows what she's doing. Or he's doing.

The game had moved on past Landry's era long before he was dismissed. The crime wasn't in letting him go; the crime was the WAY he was let go.
BTW, did you hear that Pittsburgh's Steel Curtain has been disbanded? Yeah, most of those guys have retired.
And mean Joe Green? He's retired too. Are they still running that Coke commercial at your house?

Dr Ralph said...

Dr. Paul Epstein-Barr?

I'm not tired--just tired of Jerry Jones. And are you equating JJ with Job? The G.M. Job?

As usual, your cleverness has left me confused. That's what I get for becoming Dr. Paul.

Anonymous said...

Hi Allen,
I'm not angry or offended, just curious :)
I came across your page while Googling images of the new stadium.
I'm curious as to why you seem so angry about the stadium. I know people had to move from their homes, but this new stadium is for a lot more than just football. We will have concerts there which will bring in money for the city and the stadium has created a TON of new jobs. I also noticed your profile states you live in Ft. Worth, and not 5 miles away from it like I do. So the traffic probably won't even effect you. I look at the stadium as an investment in Arlington's future, a way to keep our city "alive".
Email me back ok?

Dr Ralph said...

Amy Anonymous - that's not anger, that's righteous anger. The Whited Sepulchre takes great pride in his righteous anger and never misses a chance to spew a little.

Trust me -- he's much nicer in person, and thankfully not near so righteous.

The Whited Sepulchre said...


Please allow me to address your concerns one phrase or one word at a time.
1) "I'm curious as to why you seem so angry about the stadium." I don't just seem angry over the new stadium, I am angry.
2) "I know people had to move from their homes...." Yes, and think of the outrage that would've gone down had the city taken the homes to put up a Wal-Mart. One of the things that has made America great, and a safe investment for people all over the world, is a concept known as property rights. If you own something here, the government can't take it away from you except in truly extraordinary circumstances. Unfortunately for us, Big Business has ridden roughshod over property rights for the last 20 years.

3) "....but this new stadium is for a lot more than just football. We will have concerts there which will bring in money for the city...." I heard Van Halen and Tom Petty at Reunion Arena. I heard The Dixie Chicks at American Airlines Center. The Beach Boys at the old Arlington Stadium. Now, close your eyes and think of all the economic development that sprang up around those venues after they were built. Having difficulty? It's because the development didn't happen. The Ballpark in Arlington had the most development, but even those retail strips have struggled (I used to manage retail there. Look at the vacancies at Lincoln Square, I-30 and Collins.)
5) "....and the stadium has created a TON of new jobs...." To use an analogy that is about to become tiresome on these pages, if someone breaks a window in your house, it creates a two hour job for somebody. If someone breaks all the windows, it creates a couple of jobs for an entire day. If someone breaks every window in the City of Arlington, it creates a TON of jobs. That doesn't mean that the jobs are worth more than the activity they are replacing. Money has been moved, thanks to the vandal, from your wallet to the repair man's wallet. In the stadium example, assets have simply been moved from the Taxpayers' wallet to the City's wallet to then be given to contractors and Jerry Jones.
5).... "I also noticed your profile states you live in Ft. Worth, and not 5 miles away from it like I do. So the traffic probably won't even effect you...." I'm not concerned about the traffic. But if you get a chance, check out David Cay Johnston's book "Free Lunch", which covers this topic at great length. The Chapter titled "Pride and Profits" explains why most sports stadiums are surrounded by economic dead zones.
6)...."I look at the stadium as an investment in Arlington's future, a way to keep our city "alive"."
Lemmee tell you a story, Amy. Waaaay back when George W. Bush was just a pup, he was the front man for a group that bought The Texas Rangers baseball team. Bush brought a 2% share of the team using borrowed money.($600,000.00)
They wanted a new ballpark. Bush's buddies could've built a new ballpark themselves, but why should they? You were there for them.
Bush threatened to move the Rangers out of Arlington. His cartel spent about $125,000.00 campaigning for a 1/2% increase in the Arlington sales tax. The voters approved it. Bush and Company then trampled property rights, seizing land via Eminent Domain.
All in all, the Bush gang profited from a total subsidy of $205 million dollars. (Did he send you a thank-you note? Me neither.) The had paid $86 million for the Rangers. They sold The Rangers nine years later for $250 million. The team still stunk.
So what was different? Why the added value?
It was all in the stadium that YOU bought for them. The $164 million dollar profit was $38 million dollars less than the money that we put into the team ! ! !

Your fellow commenter Dr. Ralph likes to refer to the Iraq war as one of history's worst "bait-and-switch" deals. Well, the following is also from Johnston's "Free Lunch", pg 79:

"What followed (after the Rangers purchase) was an early indicator of Bush's extraordinary success at marketing. Bush is arguably the greatest salesman of our time, having sold not just friends but political opponents on a war costing more than a trillion dollars and thousands of lives with the kind of pay-no-attention-to-that-pool-oil-under-the-engine polish that used car salesmen only dream about."

Guess which city should have, and could have sounded some warnings ahead of time about Bush and his buddies, but didn't?

Arlington, Texas.

Why didn't they? Embarrasment? Shame? Didn't feel truly humble enough? Not enough righteous anger?

We'll never know.

But that's why I get angry over the City of Arlington taking away peoples' homes and giving the land to Jerry Jones.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

UMMM... Hey retard, in a rematch of week 17 of the 2009 season, the Cowboys WON a game in postseason last year... it was against the Philadelphia Eagles. I was there. Your little motivational picture is plain wrong. Take your misplaced hate somewhere else. You're probably a Texan fan which would explain it all.

The Whited Sepulchre said...

Sorry that it took me so long to get back to you on this.
Jerry Jones is about to have to watch the Steeler play the Packers in the Super Bowl.

(how 'bout them Cowboys !)

Yeah, he did win a playoff game. Even a blind hog can find an acorn every now and then.
But is there ANY general manager in the NFL with a worse playoff win record over the last ten years than Jerry?