Thursday, September 24, 2009

My work for the National Endowment For The Arts

As you may have heard, The National Endowment For The Arts has been playing footsie with The White House Office Of Public Engagement to get sculptors, composers, producers, taste-makers, fashion victims, composers, the black-wearing undertakers of the art world, and all-around trendoids to start producing art to promote the agenda of The Teleprompter Jesus. Some "60 Minutes" wannabe got the whole conference call on tape. Dang it.

This conference call violated numerous lobbying laws but it was for a good cause, which is supposed to make everything ok.

Those listening in on the notorious conference call were encouraged to promote the following Obama agenda items through their art: health care, energy and environment, safety and security, education, and community renewal.

Here are some of my favorite examples of government encouraging artists to create for the greater good:
Unfortunately, the NEA's director of communications has now been publicly beheaded, his head paraded around the walls of Washington on a pike, and his other remains are now hanging in chains outside the city gates as a warning not to ever ever ever do anything like this again. Not when tape recorders are running, anyway.

What irks me is that my own art on these topics won't get the wide audience it deserves. Yes, I was contacted by the NEA to produce new Obamamedia. It's a shame to work and work and work on art, and then see the taxpayer funding disappear due to silly, outdated, separation of Me and Your Wallet laws.

I worked long and hard to produce propaganda artwork based on all five of the agenda items the White House wanted. Instead of being displayed in galleries around the world, they'll have to be posted here.

This is the piece I've worked on the longest, and it's intended to promote the President's Education agenda. Remember the "Fun With Dick And Jane" readers you may have used in the first grade? To promote the decline of reading, and to encourage our public schools to produce even more unfortunate illiterate students for the "Victim" voting block, I painted a series of Dick And Jane books that didn't have any text, only pictures. The ability to read, of course, is an elitist notion, and should be discouraged by The State, since literacy leads to critical thinking.

Here's one of the best in the Dick and Jane series. I call it "Untitled". Easy to read, isn't it?

Ever since I got my first batch of Play-Do, I've been interested in sculpture. To help the President with his Community Renewal agenda, I constructed a miniature replica of the neighborhood where Obama once spent lots and lots of money and hired lots and lots of helpers while working as a Community Organizer. Like Washington D.C., like the Deep South prior to the 1970's, and like other regions where the Mommy Party had a lock on things for way too long, the place is a shithole. I had a hard time making it look horrible enough.
Therefore, I used non-traditional materials for this piece. The results are spectacular, but shouldn't be viewed on a warm day.

The Safety And Security piece was more challenging. It's an homage to Fredrik Reuterswärd's sculpture "The Knotted Gun". To celebrate our Victim Disarmament Laws, and to celebrate the reach of our Nanny State, I've reproduced "The Knotted Gun" in Jello.

The original statue is made of metal, and could fall over and possibly harm someone. Jello is much safer for The Children ® . Plus, the components are totally disassembled, with a permanent trigger lock. Look what similar policies have done for the crime rate in D.C. ! !

The most controversial work is my performance art piece that promotes Obama's Health Care agenda. Instead of a program, the theatre-goers are handed a bill for their percentage of the national debt. The curtain parts to reveal a contortionist who asks that everyone pass their bills to the wealthiest person in the room. This wealthy audience member, in every performance to date, quickly leaves in a huff - taking his business to either China or Mexico.

The contortionist (via a series of slides projected onto the back curtain) examines the solvency of Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, and the track records of various government departments. A Clunker is brought onstage and destroyed. Kids from the Children's Theatre Program, dressed as soldiers, start a war with the theatre next door (this helps the economy and creates jobs). An assistant leads a large hog onstage, and assists the animal in raping The Statue Of Liberty while chanting "Something For Nothing, Something For Nothing".

To end the performance, the contortionists steps forward and says "But Obamacare will be different", and carries out this symbolic action:The Energy And Environment piece was difficult, but might be the most popular. It illustrates the obscene subsidies you're paying to ethanol farmers. Think of it the next time you're paying at the pump and see the "Contains up to 10% ethanol" sign.

Yes, ethanol production harms the environment. It causes 3rd world food riots. But it's organic, wholesome, and allows the most wealthy Americans to get more of your money. Its use is required by law. This piece is simply called "Ethanol".

Other artists created works in praise of Our Dear Leader and his agenda. I don't know who came up with this one, but it was taught to and performed by some public school kids in New Jersey. I bet Kim Jong-il is envious.....

If you feel that my artwork would complement your lifestyle, I am available for private commissions. For other examples of my art, I encourage you to visit my design proposal for the still unfunded Department Of Culture.

Dick and Jane painting came from here. Pics of Mr. Obama's neighborhood came from here. Article worth reading, BTW. The pic of The Knotted Gun came from here. The head in the nether regions pic came from here. The ethanol crop circles came from here.


Stephen M. Smith said...

Love it. Absolutely love it.

Browncoat Libertarian said...

Made me LOL out loud...