Obama's Healthcare Speech, Liveblogged

Before I start liveblogging this speech, let me get some basic assumptions out of the way.

Cash For Clunkers was supposed to last for three months, but ran out of money in five days. Auto dealers began pulling out of the program rather than go through the hassles of dealing with the government red tape and website crashes.

The Porkulus Bill ($750,000,000,000.00) had to be rushed through Congress in two days. No one had time to read it, because of the fierce moral urgency of NOW. Obama moseyed back from vacation and signed it after it sat on his desk for a couple of days. The stated goal was to immediately pump money into the economy, but so far they've only been able to spend 15% of it. They're saying that some of it won't be kicked back into the hands of campaign donors spent on infrastructure projects until after 2010.

This administration can't even screen their employees properly to be sure they aren't tax cheats. (FYI, I believe that if our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ were on this earth in the year 2009, he would be doing everything possible to keep The Disciples' traveling money safe from Caesar. Just an opinion.) Click here for details.

Now they want to more or less take over a substantial part of the economy, and they promise they're going to get it just right.

Here are my preconceived ideas about insurance. Say a group of 100 homeowners are afraid that their houses are going to burn down. They go to an insurance company, and they say "We're afraid our houses are going to burn down."

The insurance company looks at the charts and graphs, and sees that in the next ten years, only one house out of one hundred houses is likely to burn.

So the company says "If each of you will give me 1/2 % of the value of your home every year, then we'll replace your house if it burns down."

That way, the insurance company can replace a house every two years without going bankrupt. If they get lucky, they won't have to replace any.

Here's the kicker....How much should an insurance charge to include someone whose house has already burned? That is, as soon as the former homeowner write a check for one premium, the insurance company has to build him a new house.

How much would the insurance premium be if you were running the insurance company? Unless you're a total idjit, it would have to be for the cost of a new house.

That's the problem with pre-existing conditions. Insurance is not meant to cover disasters that have already happened. Insurance is to guard against future diasters.

How would you respond if your homeowners insurance premiums doubled because your insurance company started paying for houses that burned before the homeowners bought insurance?

That's what I thought.

You can walk into John Petersmith hospital in Fort Worth, and if you need Free medical care, you can get it there. Granted, the taxpayers are footing the bill, but that's cheaper than letting The Chicago Gang get their tentacles further into the system.

Ok, that's all the disclaimers and full disclosures of prejudices I can think of. Here's The Teleprompter Jesus. Those who want to can hit this link and play Obama Clutch-Phrase Bingo.

BTW, the goal of live-blogging these things is to have them posted the minute the speech is over, just to prove you can think and type that quickly. (Thank you Coalla King, of North Sunflower Academy.) In geek circles, you get extra points for being able to do this.

Michelle O just entered the building. She is surrounded by Kennedys of various sizes, whose late patriarch is sure to be name-checked. I think Michelle is intentionally wearing Jackie O pink.

She Whose Name Is Not Spoken just enetered the building. She tried and failed to do the healthcare reform thing about 15 years ago. She's wearing reddish orange, and can be seen from The Washington Monument.

Brian Williams, Chuck Todd, and David Gregory are speculating about which Republicans could possibly be picked off from the herd and persuaded to betray their country. My guess? All of them, if the money and other goodies are adequate.

They just showed Rahm Emmanuel. One of my goals for this blog is to provoke him into mailing me a dead fish. If you don't know that Emmanuel story, Google it. I don't have time to explain.

Chuck Todd is explaining that there are 5, count 'em, 5 versions of this healthcare bill floating around. That way, no matter what objections you raise to Obama's plan, he can say "that's not in my bill." Brilliant.

Obama just entered the building. I'll say this for him, he knows how to wear a suit. He's shaking hands with Biden and Pelosi. I wonder if "Greater Tuna" Pelosi is going to do her Jack-In-The-Box routine all the way through this speech.

He starts the speech. He's reminding us that the last time he addressed both houses of Congress, we were on the edge. Well, we're still on the edge, but we're another 750 billion dollars in debt. Good work, all of you. We've pulled it back from the brink. If there was a brink.

We didn't come here just to clean up crises. We came here to take your money and give it to our friends. I'm not the first President to take up this cause, but I'm determined to be the last. It's been a century since Teddy Roosevelt called for Healthcare reform. (They still haven't gone free-market and reformed it. I have no idea why not.)

He's listing the reasons why some people can't get insurance. See my prejudices listed above. He's throwing out a bunch of stats that I can't wait for Factcheck.org to get ahold of. He's making some good points about how people are hesitant to change jobs because of insurance. Ditto for people being dropped if they get sick. (The solution is to sue the insurance companies until they have a radioactive glow.)

Now he's talking about the high cost. Hit that little link for "Free Market" a couple of paragraphs back.

We're putting a huge cost on taxpayers. We've got to cut costs. Therefore, we're going to have more government involvement in the process. He really is saying this. I'm hearing it with my own ears.

We KNOW we must reform this system.

Okay, here come the Straw Men. There are those on the left who say.... There are those on the right who say.... If you picked point #2 on Clutch-Phrase bingo, you just got points.

Obama says keep what works, rather than start from scratch.

Obama just thanked Congress for "working tirelessly", and NBC cut to a close-up of Charlie Rangel, the most corrupt, tax-evading bastard that God put guts in. Hilarious.

Now he's going to attack the scare tactics. Now is the time to deliver.

3 basic goals: More security and stability for those who have insurance, provide insurance for those who don't, and reduce costs for everybody involved. It's a freakin' Christmas tree, with something for everyone. No one ever has to pay the piper.

If you already have insurance, medicare, medicaid, etc, you don't have to change doctors or anything else. See Bingo point #5.

Now, here's where he goes totally off the rails. UNDER THIS PLAN, IT WILL BE ILLEGAL FOR INSURANCE COMPANIES TO DENY YOU COVERAGE BECAUSE OF A PRE-EXISTING CONDITION. In other words, if your house has burned down, you can still get fire insurance, and the insurance company will have to build you a new house. Don't pay premiums until you get sick. They can't deny you coverage ! ! ! I'm dropping my health insurance tomorrow ! ! !

Who the hell is going to pay for this? Does this goober think the rates are going to stay the same for the people who are dumb enough to pay for coverage if this nonsense passes?

They're going to compete for your business. there will be tax credits, etc etc etc. I'm so horrified, I can't even think straight any more.

John "reach across the aisle" McCain just got a standing-O for getting name-dropped.

Obama: if there are affordable options, and people still don't sign up for health insurance, if some workers don't provide healthcare, it hurts us. Unless everyone does their part, individuals will be required to carry basic health insurance. Businesses will be required to provide insurance. But small businesses will be exempt. But you CAN'T game the system.

It only works if everybody does their part. And while there remain some significant details to be ironed out.....

(This wasn't intended as a laugh line, but everyone is laughing their asses off. Hilarious.)

Here are some of the key controversies out there, spread by bad, bad, people. Death panels for senior citizens. It's a lie, plain and simple. Every aging Democrat in the room rises to applaud.

No coverage for illegal aliens, no funding for abortions.

Now he gets to "the public option". He says consumers do better when there is "choice" and "competition". I shoulda put this at the beginning of this post. You can't compete with an organization that can print its own money. Totally false use of the word on Obama's part. The post office, Amtrak, etc etc etc woulda gone under years ago if it weren't for government subsidies. And that's what yer gonna see with Obamacare.

I need more Bud Light. Please excuse me for a moment. Whoaaaa there, he said "Let me be clear" ! ! ! That's Clutchphrase Bingo #21, for those of you playing at home.

The public option would only be for those who don't have insurance. He thinks less than 5% of Americans would sign up. And the public option would have to pay for itself with money printed on the spot. Somehow. I know it blows your mind to think the money would just appear, but it will happen.

He just said the word "Progressive", in reference to The Left. I really dislike that use of the word "Progressive". He's refering to ideas that should have died out during Feudalism. We've made a lot of "Progress" since then.

I missed some stuff there while I was ranting about Progressive. Sorry about that. He's gonna make sure no government bureaucrat or insurance exec gets between you and the care you need. He's gonna tell us how we'll pay for all this.

I will not sign a plan that adds one dime to our deficits, either now or in the future. Period. There will be a provision in the plan that requires more spending cuts if the savings don't materialize.

This man is full of more crap than the latrines at Fort Pemberton.

Most of this plan can be paid for by finding savings in the existing healthcare system.

You know, that might be possible. Let people go to nurses and other practitioners for care. Get the damn lawyers out of it. Go here for details. It'll never happen. Now he's talking about how much waste and care there are in Medicare and Medicaid. They're going to eliminate that waste. Woulda done it sooner, but they wanted to save the waste so it could be eliminated now. During this crisis. I think that's what he said. I'm on beer #5. This is hurting more than I thought it would.

He's going to protect medicare from becoming a private voucher system.

Some places in Utah and someplace else offer costs that are lower than average. Everyone is suddenly going to be like them.

Here's something that bugs me.... Did you know that HALF of all insurance companies offer care that costs less than average? And HALF of them cost more than average? No shit. They really do. Think about it. So don't look at the less than average cost ones like they're special. Half of anything is less than average, half is more than average.

Here's a bone thrown to the Republicans.... He's going to do something about medical malpractice law. We're gonna move forward on letting doctors focus on practice medicine. He's throwing a bone to Bush, saying that they, too, had this idea. Add it all up, and the plan he's proposing will cost 900 billion over ten years. Compare it to the Iraq War, or the tax cuts for the rich. And if you picked # 14 in Clutch-phrase bingo, you just got some points.

My door is always open.

I really hate that phrase. Nobody's door is always open. Not if you're important. Sometimes you're in meetings. Sometimes you're working on something more important that what Joe Blow is worried about.

Now here's some Macho Posturing on the part of our Commander-In-Chief.....

"If you mis-represent what's in this plan, we will call YOU out."

Easy to say, when there IS NOT FREAKIN' PLAN ! ! !

Ok, here's the sentimental Ted Kennedy moment. The Floater is speaking to us from beyond the grave.

Ted Kennedy hoped that this will be the year that healthcare finally passed. It concerns more than material things.....It's a moral issue. Social justice. The character of our country.

Ted Kennedy gave less than 1% of his money to charities. He went to great lengths to shield his fortune from the tax collector. What a freakin' farce.

Those of us who knew Teddy know what drove Teddy. And now I'm going to name-drop three prominent Republicans. Teddy had two children stricken with cancer (close up of Kennedy kids).

That large-heartedness, that willingness to spend other people's money on the things YOU think are important, that's what makes us Americans.

In 1935, there were those who argued that..... (See Clutch Phrase #2)

Too much govt is matched by the perils of too little. Not necessarily true, is it?

He's doing a great closing here. It's emotional B.S., but very well-written. Going faster than I can type. Oh, BTW, most of this won't kick in until after the next Presidential election. Did you know that? And that Congress and most federal employees will be exempt? If you remember those things when listening to this rhetoric, you hear it in a whole new light.

I'm just sayin'.

Thank you, and God Bless America.