Friday, October 15, 2010

Absurditopia is about to declare war on Stupidia, and you are going to lose

Since our Commander-In-Chief and some of his Republican enablers seem determined to start a trade war with China, here's an excerpt from Don Boudreaux's fantasy about what it would be like if real wars were like trade wars. 

Leader of Absurditoptia (A): I say, leader of Stupidia – we demand that you stop occupying that contested strip of land. If you refuse, we’ll have no choice but to shoot our own citizens.

Leader of Stupidia (S): You don’t scare us! That land is ours. And if you do kill some of your own people, make no mistake that we will immediately – and just as cruelly – commence to killing our own people. Courage is our national motto!

(A): Ha! You’re bluffing. But I’m not. I’ve just courageously ordered my troops to mow down in cold blood ten percent of my fellow countrymen. Take that!

(S): How dare you attack you like that! You leave us no choice but to attack us. I am ordering the Stupidian army to slaughter 15 percent of innocent Stupidians here in Stupidia. How do you like them apples?!

(A): You are cruel and inhuman to damage us by killing your people. I hereby instruct all of my fellow Absurditopians to commit suicide! Only then will you nasty Stupidians get your proper comeuppance and we Absurditopians the justice that we are due!

(S): You can’t beat us, you Absurditopian you! Listen up. I’m ordering all of my fellow citizens – Stupidians all! – to commit suicide. We’ll see who emerges victorious!

Then a long, long silence.

Try looking at it this way.  If the top executives at Neiman Marcus could pass laws to discourage you from shopping at Target, they would do so.  If the top executives at Target could pass laws to discourage you from shopping at Neiman Marcus, they would do so.  And if you learned that those executives had written those laws, you would have them tarred and feathered.  You would be outraged. 

But when U.S. companies pass laws making Chinese tires or Canadian lumber more expensive, we roll over and take it.  Go figure that one out. 

The picture of the Trade War came from here. 

No comments: