Showing posts with label satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label satire. Show all posts

Friday, November 16, 2012

Barack Obama has received our petition to secede

All of the post-election secession talk that's been going around disturbs me. 
We've got a great constitution in the U.S.  It's the greatest idea for a country ever, an idea the could be summed up as "leave everyone alone". 
We just need government to stick to the limits of the constitution, get the spending under control, and we really, really could come out of this mess intact. 
(Unfortunately, we now have to come up with $16,000,000,000,000.00 before we rise back up to the debt level of a homeless wino.  It could happen...?) 

A Statist with time on her hands (Dianne Self Wing?) recently composed this satire of a "Goodbye Letter" from Barack Obama to the Great State Of Texas. 

Rather than being funny, it's a terrifying glimpse into the mind of a Nanny State victim.

 
1)  All military bases in Texas will be closed.... 
You promise?  We won't have to pay for any more bloated military???  No standing army/navy/air force/marine groups going off to kill babies in the Middle East?  We could keep an army about the size of, say, Brazil's and do just fine.  More money in our pockets instead of Lockheed's. 

2)  They're going to revoke our passports. 
We'll have to get a passport if we want to see Texas A&M play a Southeast Conference "away" game, or visit a debt-laden Blue State.  Yawn. 

3)  The Feds are going to revoke our highway and infrastructure funding. 
Wait, let me rephrase that....  We won't have to send money to Washington, let them take a huge cut off the top, and then get a little bit of it back.  I don't see a downside yet, do you? 

4)  The FAA will no longer exist. 
Good.  They've had major problems with Air Traffic Controllers sleeping in the towers.  Canada privatized their Air Traffic Control system and hasn't had that problem.  So far, so good. 

5)  The FCC will no longer be able to grant regional monopolies to Clear Channel. 

6)  Anyone receiving payments for Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid and Disability will have to re-apply. 
There is no longer such a thing as Social Security, Medicare, or Medicaid.  In a real world accounting system, they're bankrupt.  There's nothing there.  It's been spent.  Disability payments are another story.  These suddenly skyrocketed during Obama's 3rd year, and at one point the number of people filing for disability payments exceeded the number of people who found jobs.  This will be a good opportunity for Texas to determine who is really disabled, right? 

7)  Goodbye to the U.S. Coast Guard. 
Well, we don't fear drug smugglers in Texas.  More and more of us favor legalization.  Plus, if we're no longer going to be associated with Barack's Brigades who are going around the world blowing up other people's stuff, the need for a massive Navy/Coast Guard is going to drop off.  This'll be a good break for Texas.  But I suspect we'll have to put a border fence between ourselves and Oklahoma.  And Louisiana.  And New Mexico.   

8)  Thanks for giving us an opportunity to start paying the national debt now, instead of decades from now. 

Can you believe that this is the best someone could do?  There are so many great, great things about being associated with the USA.  But all that Dianne Self Wing could list were armies, busted programs, bureaucracies, and debts.  In other words, the Bush/Obama legacy.   

Kinda sad. 

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Bill Gates - Outsourcer, Destroyer Of Jobs, and Evil, Evil Man

In the late 1980's, IBM was poised to open a major typewriter manufacturing plant in rural Kentucky. 
The building they constructed to house this project was almost 1,000,000 square feet. 

You can go here to see the proud history of IBM typewriters.  Notice how the history ends in the late 1990's. 

Most of this is because of one man. 

Bill Gates. 

He eliminated tens of thousands of jobs in the U.S. typewriter industry.  His software packages have also eliminated American jobs at the U.S. postal service, secretarial positions, and the printing industry.  The job losses that can be laid at his feet probably number in the millions.  And yet some people consider him a hero.

Please do your part to reverse this trend.  Take whatever device you're using to read this, lift it high above your head, and smash it into tiny little pieces.  Then go buy a typewriter.

Create jobs for America !!!  Boycott Bill Gates and all others who try to eliminate jobs in the name of lower prices and better products for consumers !!!