Sunday, January 13, 2008

Jerry Jones and Hillary Clinton

Jerry Jones knows what it's like to win a Super Bowl. He knows what it's like to win three of them. He loves it.

But dang it, people gave coach Jimmy Johnson all the credit. Johnson knew who to draft, because he knew the players. He'd coached against them in Miami.

Early on, Jones wanted to walk the sidelines in a ball cap, carrying a clipboard with a whistle around his neck. (He'd played some college ball, you know....) But he never got true General Manager respect.
This led to a parting of the ways with Jimmy Johnson. He'd already dumped the now-sainted Tom Landry. Then, after Johnson, Jones got rid of Barry Switzer, Chan Gailey, and Dave Campo. Bill Parcells resigned, and now Wade Phillips is on the hot seat.

Jerry's building a new stadium that will be the 8th wonder of the world (within sight of my house, BTW.) He's kept the team in the public eye by a combination of great publicity and signing controversial free agents. He's obviously a brilliant man, but The Gods aren't going to let him win a playoff game. (It's been 12 years now.) Why? Because he wants it too much.

You can get the impression that Jerry would crawl through fire and water to be taken seriously as a Football Person, instead of a money and numbers person. That's why The Gods interfere and cause Tony Romo to fumble field goal snaps (last year), or let the lesser of two Mannings have a great game (tonight).

Hillary Clinton knows what it's like to win a Presidential Election. She knows what it's like to win two of them. She loves it.

But dang it, people gave her husband Bill all the credit. Bill knows how to connect with people. Bill can shake your hand and make you remember it the rest of your life. It's something about focus and eye contact.

Early on, Hillary tried to tackle health care. She failed. She saw conspiracies in strange places. Things didn't work out well for any of her political initiatives. She got no respect, despite being the one who kept Bill anchored to our planet. People didn't really see the Clinton Presidency as a partnership.

So Hillary was given a "safe" senate seat in New York, as opposed to running in Arkansas (her previous residence) or Illinois (her home state). In the short time that she's served, she's done an okay job. Reached out across the aisle, etc etc etc. She's kept herself in the public eye by speaking out on every imaginable topic.

And now she's running for President. She's obviously a brilliant woman, but The Gods aren't going to let her win. Why? Because she wants it too much. People think that if she doesn't win this prize, she'll go stark raving nuts.

So The Gods trot out the first electable African-American Presidential candidate in our history. He's likeable, smooth, and charismatic. He's a quick thinker and a good debater. His family stepped out of a storybook. And you can't, as a Fundamentalist Democrat, criticize him without seeming mildly racist.

Where the heck did Barack Obama come from?
Well, why did Tony Romo drop that ball last year?

Both Hillary and Jerry could bring some more humility to the table. I'm not superstitious or anything, but this only happens to people when The Gods get pissed off. You can look it up.

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