Sunday, September 21, 2008

A Fund-Raising Appeal

The prophets have foretold Global Warming.
The seas should be rising soon.
The glaciers will melt one day. I know they will. I have faith.

But Chris at Counting Cats says otherwise.
We have not reached him with our Global Warming Gospel.
He is mocking us.

Because of my passion for converting The Lost, I am starting a missions fundraising project to bring Chris to the light.
Last night, Saint Albert, The Goracle of Music City Tennessee, appeared to me in a dream.

He was 900 feet tall, and had a voice like thunder. He had one foot in my back yard, and one foot in Dallas. Saint Albert said "All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth and on K street where the lobbyists gather. Go ye therefore into Australia, and teach the Cat Counters to fear my voice, baptizing them in the name of the Gore, and of the Reid, and of the Pelosi: Teaching them to observe all warming (but not cooling) as I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen."

I awoke in a cold sweat, but with a feeling of renewed energy and purpose.
I must find a way to get to Australia, to give Chris a hardback copy of Saint Albert's "Earth In The Balance", a DVD of "An Inconvenient Truth", and a Democrat party donor form.
And then we might drink some Cascade Premiums, but that's not the purpose of the trip.

I am starting a non-profit foundation for this mission trip. Chris must be led to The Goracle, and I'm the man to do it. So reach down into the bottom of your heart, your pockets, your purses, and your wallets, and give.

Let me know as soon as possible how much you can contribute.


Lisa said...

I can spare fifty cents, I live in Michigan and we've been in our own depression for quite some time now.

Sew daze said...

I will give you a dollar for every time YOU will listen to SAVE a HORSE ride A COWBOY....

The Whited Sepulchre said...

Well, that leaves me with Flee's fifty cents, doesn't it?

Sew daze said...

Alright, anything from KC and The Sunshine band, two dollars.

Sew daze said...

Hell, I am making the big money now...Donna Summer 3 bucks!!

Dr Ralph said...

Fembuttx -- tell him that KC and the Sunshine Band sings about global warming. That ought to be good for at least 5 bucks.

Anonymous said...

Why should you be the one to go? I claim discrimination on the basis of sex and age.