Sunday, January 18, 2009

The First Annual Whitey Awards

Government waste has always been a favorite topic on this site.

It's time for the readers of The Whited Sepulchre blog to vote on who in the last year has done the most to eliminate government waste.
There are several ways to end government waste. The best method, of course, is the one least discussed: don't give the government any of your money.

I'm going to nominate three candidates below. Nominate others as write-ins if you wish. The candidate with the highest total will receive the highly coveted Whitey Award.

And the nominees are:

1) [the President-elect's] nominee for Secretary Of The Treasury, Timothy Geithner, who at the time of his nomination for the post of chief tax collector, owed $42,000.00 in unpaid taxes, and, according to The Washington Post, is also being investigated for including using his child's time at overnight camps to calculate deductions for dependent-care, taking deductions for ineligible donations to charity and failing to pay an early-withdrawal penalty from a retirement plan.

A brilliant man, Mr. Geithner. Had he paid that 42K in taxes, it would've been wasted. Had he not deducted sending his kids to camp as a childcare expense, that money would've been blown on something useless. Timothy Geithner will be hard to beat.

2) James P. O’Hare, and David J. Dalaia. This is the duo that wheeled their deceased friend's rotting corpse into a check-cashing store in a failed attempt to cash their dead friend's $355 Social Security check.

Yes, they failed. Yes, they might have spent the $355 on alcohol. But if that money had stayed in The Treasury, it would've been given to some millionaire as an agricultural subsidy. A noble failure, and worthy of consideration for The Whitey.

3) Hillary Clinton, our next Secretary of State. Ms. Clinton's act of heroism didn't occur in the last 12 months, but since this is the first year The Whitey has ever been awarded, I'm allowing it for consideration. It is, after all, my damn award.

Former Senator Clinton, lover of Big Government, Policy Wonk, and disparager of Free Markets and Nafta, once claimed a two dollar tax deduction for donating some of Bill's used underwear to charity.

Remember, it's not the quantity saved, it's the quality. Who else would go to such extreme lengths to save such a paltry sum from The Gaping Maw Of The Beast? Every penny counts.

Those are my nominees. You may wish to nominate others.


Gar said...

Washington DC Department of Public Works?

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Well, lets' not knock the market value of Bill's used underwear. In a few more years it will become a collector's prize item ;-)

TarrantLibertyGuy said...

Gov. of IL Rod Blagojevich, while he could've surreptitiously auctioned off Obama's Senate seat through clandestine meetings in smoky back rooms, chose instead to boastfully try to sell it on a phone line he KNEW was tapped. He likely would not have reported those earning given to him in a briefcase of unmarked $100 bills. It also cut his investigation by the FBI short... maybe even a little too short.

Dr Ralph said...

Estimates place the cost of the Iraq War at upwards from $2.4 trillion - a war started on bullshit intelligence and out-and-out lying by the Bush administration.

Can we nominate the American voter for giving the Republicans the bird in the 2008 election?

Nick M said...

Dr Ralph,
Quite a few Dems voted for Iraq too. So I don't see it as an exclusively Republican issue..

Ditto the bailouts that will of course happen under The Obamessiah. John McCain was up for them too.

Anyway the amount to be pissed-up the wall with those will be enough to invade Mars...