From The Gospel of Matthew, chapter 3, verses 13-17:
13 Then the Obamessiah came from Chicago to the Temple to be blessed by The Sheeple.
14 But The Sheeple tried to deter him, saying, "We need to be blessed by thee, for we are the ones who should be serving; for we are not worthy to touch the hem of thy garment, Obamessiah."
15 The Obamessiah replied, "Let it be so now; it is proper for us to do this to fulfill all that the prophets foretold." Then The Sheeple consented, and brought forth from The Holy of Holies the Ark Of The Covenant, and from it the Chief Priests took The Book Of The Seven Seals.
16 And when The Obamessiah lay his hand upon The Book, he slowly levitated from the Temple steps, and ascended halfway unto the heavens. And we beheld his glory. And at that moment the heavens were opened, and we saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and lighting upon him.
17 And a voice from heaven said, "This is my Son, with whom I am well pleased. And you are The Sheeple of his pastures. And you shall be fleeced, lo, even unto the third and fourth generations, for his yoke will not be easy, and your burden will not be light."
Picture of The Obamessiah from here.