Saturday, August 21, 2010

Obama To Create 17 New Jobs By Resigning And Finally Opening That Restaurant

From John Shuey's Facebook page comes this bit o' brilliance from The Onion:

WASHINGTON—In an effort to counter the highest unemployment rate the nation has faced in a quarter century, Barack Obama announced Monday that he will create 17 new jobs by resigning from the presidency to pursue his lifelong dream of opening a cozy little down-home restaurant just off the Galesburg, IL exit on Interstate 74. "Now is the time for drastic measures, and the several line-cook and serving positions that will be generated by Barry's Place are imperative to getting the economy back on track," said Obama, donning a white apron over rolled-up shirtsleeves.

"The hope is that this bold initiative will demonstrate to other American business owners that it is possible to break the cycle after they somehow get sucked into politics and things snowball so fast that they lose sight of what's really important, like serving people the best slice of pecan pie they've ever tasted at a price that can't be beat." Vice President Joe Biden has reportedly followed Obama's entrepreneurial lead by purchasing a secondhand cologne and condom vending machine that will be installed in the men's bathroom of a Wilmington, DE offtrack betting parlor

The picture of Obama cooking the books came from here. 


Nick Rowe said...

Wow, I've been to that area.

The only black woman I ever dated was manager of a hotel at the Galesburg exit on I-74. She was really sweet and attractive, but the 2.5 hour drive from Urbana made it really difficult to get to know one another. She had dark skin but blue eyes, which is extremely rare. It was either a mutation or she had caucasians on both sides of her family at least four generations ago since blue eyes are recessive.

This will be the first honest job Barry ever had. I'm proud of him.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

That quip about Joe Biden kind of destroyed this serious and in-depth example of investigative journalism.

I know for a fact that Biden is aiming for a wig shop - for both sexes, I have to stress.