Saturday, August 21, 2010

The Cypress Bible Institute

I recently interviewed a graduate of The Cypress Bible Institute, also known as The Cypress Bible College, a center for higher learning located in Van, Texas. 

I don't know how The Cypress Bible Institute has flown beneath my radar for this long. 
According to their website, they are accredited:
Cypress Bible Institute is accredited by Shema Israel Christian Ministries International located in Riverside, California, and operates under their Federal Charter.
I could spend weeks going through The Cypress Bible Institute course descriptions.  Here's info from their class on the gospels:

 N-5. An in depth study of the life and miracles of Christ, the disciples, and parables are discussed. Also an in depth study of the four gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John are discussed in detail.

As I've stated numerous times on this site, I'm the product of a rural education.  I can confuse the hell out of some subject/verb agreement.  But look at that last sentence, the one beginning with "Also an in depth study...." 
What is the subject of that sentence?  Is it "study" or "Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John"?  Which one(s) are discussed in detail?  Sheesh ! 
This is from an academic course outline, right? 

Here's the description of a course on Bible Standards:

S-39-A This course deals with Bible holiness, concepts of dress, jedwely, hair, the role of women in the church, ministrial authority, and legalism.

Two typos in one sentence.  Perhaps they have a line of ministrial jedwely?  For women who know their subservient role in the church?

Here's the course description from a class on the King James Bible:

Ph-93 This course was written by James Jackson and deals with the origin of the KJV Bible. It shows the superiority of the King James over the other Bible translations.

I wonder if the course covers the well-documented fact that King James was as gay as a barrel of monkeys on nitrous oxide?  (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) 

They have a class called "Predestination":

D-76-2 This course covers the subjects such as the definition of Predestination, Theological Determinism, Free Will in Theology, Calvinism & Predestination, Theological Fatalism, Fatalism, Providentialism, and Divine Providence.

If you fail the class on predestination, it is not a big deal.  God meant for it to happen. 

There is another course with the rather broad name "Ancient Historical Facts". 

Here are three that could be interesting....One of the early problems faced by the early church was that the church wanted to retain the idea of one god.  They also liked the idea of Jesus being divine.  Jesus had also made some oblique references to a being called "The Comforter". 
Preachers and Apostles argued for a while, and came up with the idea of the Trinity (Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.  All are equal, all are the same, all are distinct, and all are indivisble.)  The idea was tossed around a lot in the third century, and became formal church doctrine after the Council Of Nicea in 325.  The idea has been with us ever since. 
But NOT at Cypress Bible College:

Trinity or Truth

T-19. This lesson shows the error of the Trinity doctrine and presents the truth of Monotheism. Many questions asked by Trinitarians are dealt with in this lesson.

The Truth of The Oneness Doctrine
T-20. This doctrinal course is a rebuttal to a major Trinitarian who has written a book indicating the oneness people are heresy.

Trinity Origin Research
D-46. This course is presented by Dr. Vestal on his research of the origin of the Trinity doctrine. Quotes from major Encyclopedias and Theologians show that the Trinity doctrine is in error. Dr. Vestal also rebuts in writing the theology of Calvin Beisner, and the late Dr. Walter Martin.

Dr. Vestal is probably onto something here, but the rest of Christian history, theology, and hymnology requires one long rebuttal if you throw out the Trinity with the holy water. 

From a course on "God's Astronomy":

D-43. This course covers the true meaning of the 12 signs of the Zodiac . The lesson covers Psalms 19, the 12 signs of the Zodiac in relation to the 12 tribes of Israel, the 12 months on the Hebrew calendar. The planets of our solar system are also discussed.

Then it gets weird.
You can go to Cypress and take a course called "UFO Research And The Bible":

D-48. This course deals with the UFO sightings and uses Scripture to prove their existence. This lesson covers the future UFO invasion of our earth, the cleansing of the 2nd heavens prior to the 2nd coming of Christ at Armageddon. This course is a great eye opener to our generation.

And finally:

Doctor (sic) Thesis

S-65 A thesis is required of your own choosing, thesis must be at least 30 pages in length.

Dang.  30 pages?  Is a Doctorate really worth that kind of effort? 


Nick Rowe said...

My thesis over 210 pages. Would I get 7 doctorates from them?

The post is comical. It certainly raised a smile and some eyebrows here and there.

Perhaps you're being a bit tough about the grammar and spelling. First, their courses are taught by doctors of divinity, not English. Screwing up subject verb agreement is quite common. I know the grammar rules, and our writing Nazis catch me in error at least once every seven pages.

Typos could be the error of the low-wage clerk typing the catalog. You'll likely find similar typos in course descriptions at Berkeley and Stanford too.

Cal is the number 1 ranked public school in the world, and their Peace and Conflict Studies department has at least three courses which are independent study = credit for political activism.

It seems reasonable to have courses which provide discussion on what the core beliefs are and how to refute contrary beliefs. Courses on Global Warming are no less absolutist in their assertions. I've heard some pretty ridiculous analogies used to defend the Trinity doctrine.

No, I don't really take this college too seriously on the face of what you've presented. I think Divinity is a legitimate field of study, though. This school may be accredited, but that doesn't mean the degree is highly regarded within the profession. It doesn't mean you'll be able to make a living packing your pews on Sundays.

I grew up a Catholic and was only familiar with the "poverty" view of church leadership (notwithstanding the enormous wealth of bishops and popes). The idea of preaching as a profession was alien to me. Maybe that's what they mean bu UFOs.

Obnoxio The Clown said...

I had no idea that KJ packed fudge when he wasn't uphill gardening.

Your blog is a veritable cornucopia of life-changing information!

Word verification: promnk! Is that what the Duke of Buttfuckingham said when the king "mounted up"?

The Whited Sepulchre said...

As always, we lowly American colonists are honored by you being here.
Feel free to take off your wig and stay a while.

In all seriousness, the KJV story is fascinating. Regardless of what people think of the contents, it has had a huge impact on the language. Am thinking of doing a long-ish post on it sometime.

Plus, you have a (shrinking) group of American protestants who think the KJV was inspired by Yahweh his own self. King Jimmy's gardening tactics come as a shock to this group, BTW.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Erm... let's look at this in another way: after all, someone has to do it. And better these folks than you and me ;-)

Anonymous said...

This is so not true, and I can't believe you posted such lies about Cypress Bible Institute on the internet. If you go to their website you won't find any courses that you are talking about. If I was to guess you are against their belief system or may not even believe at all. Next time I'd suggest you do a little research before you post stuff that isn't true because it only makes you look like an idiot afterwards.

The Whited Sepulchre said...

It was strictly a "copy and paste" job. About 3 years ago.
I couldn't have made that stuff up if I wanted to.
Are you a student or are you faculty?