Wednesday, December 15, 2010

On Fort Worth's Atheist Bus Advertisements

Cowtown is going through some theological upheaval
A group called "Metroplex Atheists" has bought advertising space on city buses.  "Millions of people are good without God" is their message. 
But wait....we now have a counter message:


A group of businessmen are paying someone to follow the bus around with a counter-message, a quote that I have scoured the Testaments looking for...."I still love you." - God. 

Lord, have mercy. 
This reminds me of the Jesus Fish wars that you sometimes see on Texas highways.  In the beginning was the Jesus Fish, proudly displayed on Ford F-150 tailgates. 

Atheists sometimes responded by showing off their Darwin Fish. 
And then came this....


I don't have a dog in that fight any longer, as I am now a devotee of The Flying Spaghetti Monster.  Those of us who have been Touched By His Noodly Appendage display this on their bumpers:


The Flying Spaghetti Monster is basically a device to make fun of the conflict.

But I'm still a devotee of the Yahweh/Jesus/Holy Spirit trinitarian jumble in which I was raised.  I no longer claim that it makes a lick of sense, but I can argue its finer points until your eyes glaze over.  It is mine.
 
All of that having been said, if I were in charge of the Atheist bus ad, I would've made one little correction....

It would state "Millions of Americans are good without Gods."  Plural. 

We talk about our Judeo-Christian heritage, but I don't know any Jewish folks who claim that I honor their heritage with my Christianity. 
We talk a lot about the 3 great Abrahamic religions, but I don't know any Muslims (granted, I know less than a dozen) who claim that Fort Worth's great Rabbi Ralph Mecklenburger and I share their heritage. 

Don't get me started on my Mormon friends.  My religious tradition claims that Jesus walked on water, God made Balaam's donkey speak, and that true believers can handle snakes and drink poison without being harmed. 
Mormons, on the other hand, believe that Joseph Smith translated The Book Of Mormon by using some magic spectacles, and that you should never remove your Sacred Undergarments.  That's just crazy. 

Jews, Christians, Muslims and Mormons can all be good without believing in the same God. 

I don't remember where I first heard this, but compare it to the first 3 Star Wars movies.....

The Jews loved the first movie, but don't acknowledge the value of the next two that were released. 
Christians liked the first movie ok, but thought the second one was best.  They don't like the 3rd one at all. 
Muslims approve of the first two, but they like the third one best. 
Mormons liked the second movie so much that they started writing fan fiction about it. 

But all four tribes have produced some good folks. 

I don't know which businessmen ares paying someone to follow Fort Worth buses around town, but here is a partial list of the Gods that they don't believe in. 


Alberich
Ama-no-minaka-nushi
Ama-tsu-mara
Amaethon
Amaterasu
Amatsu
Amatsu-kami
Ame-no-mi-kumari
Ame-no-wakahiko
Amidaam-no-tanabata-hime
An
Anahita
Anat
Anath
Andhrimnir
Andraste
Andvari
Angrboda
Angus og
Ankt
Annapurna
Anouke
Anshar
Anu
Aphrodite
Apollo
Apsu
Apukohai
Arawn
Aray
Ares
Arianrhod
Artemis
Artio
Asclepius
Asherah
Ashur
Astarte
Astrild
Athena
Athirat
Athtart
Atla
Atlas
Audhumla
Ba’al hadad
Baal
Baal-hammon
Baalat
Babd catha
Bacchus
Badb
Baku
Balder
Balor
Balrama
Bast
Ba xian
Beg-tse
Bel
Belatu-cadros
Bellona
Belobog
Benten
Benzai-ten
Bergelmir
Berstuk
Bes
Beyla
Bhuvaneshwari
Bimbogami
Binzuru-sonja
Bishamon
Bixia yuanjin
Blodeuwedd
Borghild
Bosatsu
Bragi
Brahma
Bran
Branwen
Brighid
Brigit
Bris
Brono
Buddha
Bugid y aiba
Buluc chabtan
Burijas
Butsu
Bylgia
Camalus
Camaxtli
Camulus
Cariocienus
Caswallawn
Ceres
Ceridwen
Cernunnos
Cerridwen
Cerunnos
Chac
Chalchiuhtlicue
Charun
Chemosh
Cheng-huang
Chien-shin
Chimata-no-kami
Chup-kamui
Crnobog
Cupid
Cybele
Cyhiraeth
Dagda
Dagon
Dagon
Dagur
Daibosatsu
Daikoku
Dainichi
Damkina
Danu
Davlin
Dawn
Dazbog
Demeter
Dev
Dewi
Dhanwantari
Dhumavati
Diana
Diancecht
Di cang
Dionysus
Disen
Don
Donar
Dosojin
Dozoku-shin
Druantia
Durga
Dylan
Dziewona
Ea
Ebisu
Eir
Ekchuah
Ekibiogami
El
Elaine
El elyon
Elli
Emma-o
Enki
Enlil
Enyalius
Enyo
Eos
Epona
Ereskigal
Erra
Eshara
Eshmun
Farbauti
Faunus
Fenrir
Flidais
Flins
Flora
Forseti
Freya
Freyr
Frigg
Fudo
Fujin
Fukurokuju
Funadama
Futsu-nushi-no-kami
Gaia
Gama
Ganesha
Ganga
Garuda
Gauri
Geb
Gefion
Gekka-o
Geong si
Gerd
Giobhniu
Gu
Guan-di
Gun
Gwydion
Gwynn ap nudd
Hachiman
Hades
Hadur
Hai
Haniyasu-hiko
Haniyasu-hime
Hanuman
Hathor
Haulili
Haya-ji
Heimdall
Hel
Helios
Heng-o
Hephaestus
Hera
Hermes
Hermod
Hestia
Hiaka
Hiiakawawahilani
Hinakuluiau
Hiruko
Hod
Hoderi
Holler
Hoori
Hors
Horus
Hoso-no-kami
Hotei
Hsi-wang-mu
Huitzilopochtli
Hygeia
Ictinike
Ida-ten
Idun
Ika-zuchi-no-kami
Iki-ryo
Inanna
Inari
Indra
Inti
Irmin
Ishtar
Isis
Isora
Ixtab
Izanagi
Izanaki
Izanami
Janus
Jarilo
Jarovit
Jinushigami
Jizo
Jord
Jormungand
Juichimen
Juno
Jupiter
Jurojin
Juthrbog
Juturna
Kagutsuchi
Kalaipahoa
Kali
Kaluannuunohonionio
Kamado-gami
Kamapua’a
Kami-kaze
Kaminari
Kamohoali’i
Kamooalii
Kanaloa
Kanayama-hiko
Kanayama-hime
Kane
Kane-hekili
Kapo
Kapohoikahiola
Karewit
Kari
Kartikeya
Karttikeya
Kathirat
Kaupe
Kawa-no-kami
Kenro-ji-jin
Keoahikamakaua
Keuakepo
Khepri
Ki
Kiha
Kingu
Kinich ahau
Kishar
Kishi-bojin
Kishijoten
Kishimo-jin
Ko-no-hana
Kojin
Koleamoku
Korrawi
Koshin
Kothar
Koya-no-myoin
Krishna
Ku
Kuahana
Kukailimoku
Kukaoo
Kukulcan
Kukunochi-no-kami
Kuni-toko-tachi
Kura-okami
Kurma
Kuula
Kvasir
Laamaomao
Labraid
Lada
Lado
Laga
Laka
Lakakane
Lakshmi
Laran
Lares
Libintia
Lie
Liza
Llyr
Lofn
Loki
Lono
Lonomakua
Lotan
Lugh
Luna
Macha
Maeve
Magna mater
Magni
Mahulu
Maia
Manannan
Mani
Manua
Marduk
Margawse
Marisha-ten
Marowit
Mars
Maru
Marzanna
Matangi
Math ap mathowny
Matka gabia
Matka ziemia
Maui
Mawaya-no-kami
Maya
Mebd
Medb
Melqart
Menhit
Menthu
Mentu
Mercury
Mextli
Mider
Mikaboshi
Milu
Miming
Mimir
Minerva
Miro
Mithras
Mixcoatl
Miyazu-hime
Moaalii
Modi
Mokosh
Mokualii
Moloch
Monju-bosatsu
Mooaleo
Morrigan
Mot
Mummu
Murukan
Musubi-no-kami
Myrrdin
Nacon
Nai-no-kami
Naka-yama-tsu-mi
Nammu
Nanaja
Nanna
Nanse
Neith
Nemain
Nemesis
Nephthys
Neptune
Nergal
Niamh
Nikko-bosatsu
Ninazu
Ninhurzag
Ninigi-no-mikoto
Nintu
Ninurta
Njord
Nominosukune
Norns
Nott
Nut
Nyorai
Oanomochi
Odin
Ogoun
Ohkuninushi
Oho-yama
Ohonamochi
Ohyamatsumi
Okuni-nushi
Ops
Orgelmir
Oro
Osiris
Ostara
Ouli
Owatatsumi
Oyamatsumi
Pales
Pan
Papa
Parvati
Pele
Perperuna
Persephone
Perun
Phaethon
Phoebe
Phoebus apollo
Pilumnus
Pluto
Podaga
Poliahu
Pomona
Porewit
Poseidon
Proserpine
Puea
Qadeshtu
Quetzalcoatl
Radegast
Raiden
Ram
Rama
Ran
Re
Resef
Reshep
Resheph
Rhea
Rod
Rugiviet
Ryo-wo
Sabazius
Sae-no-kami
Saga
Sakhmet
Sambo-kojin
Samulayo
Sarasvati
Sarutahiko ohkami
Saturn
Segomo
Selene
Sengen
Septu
Seshat
Seth
Seti
Shachar
Shaka
Shakti
Shalim
Shamash
Shamayim
Shapsu
Shemesh
Shen yi
Shichi fujukin
Shinda
Shine-tsu-hiko
Shiva
Shoden
Shoki
Shu
Si-wang-mu
Siebog
Sif
Simargl
Sin
Sirona
Sita
Siwa
Sjofn
Skadi
Sleipnir
Sol
Stribog
Suijin
Suitengu
Sukuna-biko
Surya
Susanoh
Susanowa
Svantetit
Svarog
Svetovid
Svetovit
Syn
Takami-musubi
Takemikadzuchi
Taki-tsu-hiko
Tatsuta-hime
Tawaret
Tefnut
Tehwom
Tenjin
Teutates
Tezcatlipoca
Thanatos
The zorya
Thor
Tiamat
Tlaloc
Tonatiuh
Toyo-uke-bime
Toyouke-omikami
Triglav
Tsuki-yumi
Tu
Tu matauenga
Turris
Tyche
Tyr
Uba
Uga-jin
Uga-no-mitama
Ukanipo
Ukemochi
Ulaulekeahi
Uli
Ull
Utu
Uzume
Vali
Valkyries
Vamana
Vanir
Var
Veles
Venus
Vertumnus
Vesta
Vidar
Vishnu
Volturnus
Vulcan
Wakahiru-me
Wata-tsu-mi
Wepwawet
Wurukatte
Xipe
Xi wang-mu
Xochipilli
Xochiquetzal
Yabune
Yam
Yam-nahar
Yama-no-kami
Yamato
Yarikh
Ymir
Yu-huang
Yuki-onna
Yum kimil
Zababa
Zana
Zedek
Zeus
Zirnitra
Zislbog
Zizilia
Zroya

Millions of people, sometimes billions, are able to be "good" without bowing down to Zizilia or Zroya.  Ditto for Yahweh, Allah, or even my preferred Jesus/God/Holy Spirit.  It has taken me a long time to undestand this. 
But just for fun, just for fun....
How about we get one of my red box trucks, paint The Flying Spaghetti Monster on the side of it, and pay someone to follow the blue van which is following the city bus ?

6 comments:

Cedric Katesby said...

Arrrrrg, me hearties!

ATHEIST!!!!!!!

Fester said...

"I still love you - Bigfoot"

Dr Ralph said...

Put me down for a $20 donation to pay the driver of your noodly red follow truck.

Harper said...

I will volunteer to drive. As long as you promise it will be a big truck. No econo-box hybrid death traps. My God offers carbon neutral salvation.

TarrantLibertyGuy said...

Great piece! A few gods you left off your partial list: Mammon, Eric Clapton, Bob (from the Church of the Sub-Genius), Chimay White Label... I'm sure there's a few others.

Semi-related, I remember this:

"Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? Yeah, seems he'd stay up all night wondering if there really was a dog."
(oldy but a goodie)

The Whited Sepulchre said...

Spivey,
Numerous emailers and a couple of Facebook commenters are upset that I didn't list Zhooool from Ghostbusters.