Thursday, May 12, 2011

Newt Gingrich is running for president.

Newt Gingrich, who has already proven that he couldn't trim the fat from a Shreveport Casino Buffet Prime Rib, proven that he couldn't balance the blocks for a game of Jenga, proven that he couldn't cut cheese with a chainsaw....
Newt Gingrich, the values crusader who is now on wife #3....
Newt Gingrich, whose Republican Revolution of the 1990's inspired my favorite P.J. O'Rourke quote:

"What a feckless, timid, timeserving [Republican] revolution that was in 1994, as if the sans culottes had stormed the Bastille to get themselves jobs as prison guards."

Yes, THAT Newt Gingrich. 
Newt Gingrich is going to run for President. 

Remember John Boehner telling an interviewer that he couldn't think of any government programs he would eliminate?  Much less entire departments? 
Remember when presidents named Reagan and Bush ran up higher deficits than all other presidents combined?  (This was before Obama set a new standard, but Reagan and the Bushes used to hold the record.) 
Remember when he sat down with Nancy "Greater Tuna" Pelosi to record this plea for increased gullibility?

That's what you'll get with Newt. 

On the upside, he did take down Fort Worth's Congressman Jim Wright. 
He's also a good writer, and can talk history better than any other politician.
When he was a kid, he collected snakes a lizards, which shows he's not a total conformist.   
Also on the upside, Newt left the Southern Baptist Church to become something else.  Catholic, I think.  It doesn't matter, just as long as he got out. 

But that's what you'll get with Newt Gingrich. 

Move along please.  Nothing to see here.  Move along, move along. 


The Freeholder said...

You know, he supposedly wrote a work of fiction that I liked, but the concept of this guy as a "conservative" candidate is really upsetting my world view. No way he gets my vote.

ΛΕΟΝΙΔΑΣ said...

Cedric will LOVE newt. A fellow warmista.