Thursday, October 17, 2013

A Shameful Episode

I was driving around one of the sleazier parts of Fort Worth yesterday, and saw a bunch of cop cars and a massive limo in my rearview mirror.  The vehicles were totally out of place in that neighborhood. 

I couldn't believe it!  It was Barack Obama in "The Beast" presidential limousine. 

That's something you don't see every day.  So I let them pass me and then I got in line behind all the cop cars. 

Next thing you know, I was surrounded by limousines.  It was a freakin' Congressional motorcade, driving down East Lancaster.  Where were they going?  What the hell were they doing?  Was this a fact-finding mission to investigate poverty?  A junket to research the lifestyles of crack whores?  Or maybe they wanted some really good BBQ? 

You're not gonna believe where they went. 

Barack's limo pulled up in front of the sleaziest Payday Loan facility I've ever seen.  The President Of The United States got out of his car, walked up to the storefront, and held open the door.  He looked downright giddy. 

(In case you don't know what a Payday Loan joint is, these are places where you can get a short-term loan by using your next paycheck as collateral.  The default rates are staggering.) 

Obama held the door open for at least 30 minutes while most of the Congress of the USA went inside.  (Jeff Flake, the senator from Arizona with formerly decent libertarian credentials, was hardest to recognize.  He was wearing a trenchcoat and dark glasses, and kept his arm over his face so he couldn't be photographed.)

I got out of my truck and asked one of the Secret Service guys what was going on.  "They're raising the debt ceiling again," he said.  They've been doing it for years." 

And then it got weird.....

More cops and military personnel showed up, and they had kids with them.  Cars and trucks loaded with them. 

"What the hell?" I couldn't believe it.  "What's up with all the children?"

My new Secret Service buddy grinned at me.  "Dude, you are such a Boy Scout!  You don't think this generation of swine is going to pay for anything, do you?  Nobody with any street smarts would loan these clowns a dime.  So Congress brings in all these kids to co-sign for their loans." 

"I don't get it," I said.

"Ok, take the stimulus package," said the officer.  "The economy was hurting, and your baby boom generation was slightly inconvenienced.  So these guys borrowed a bunch of money and spread it around.  These kids are the ones who will have to pay it all back." 

One of the kids made a break for it, and ran toward Canada.  The cops knocked the living shit out of him, and after that the other kids were much more sedate and well-behaved.

I was shocked, but the Secret Service agent was unfazed.  "That's the beauty of Keynesian economics," he said.  "It gives us a fig leaf for taking and spending what we want immediately.  Nobody even notices.  Every time a Bush or Obama or Pelosi talks about 'investing' in some boondoggle, these kids go further into debt."

And one by one, the children were taken into the loan facility, forced to sign away years of their lives, fingerprinted, and sent back out on the streets. 

"See you again in March!" said the business owner.  "We're pushing for another war, plus Social Security and Medicare are about to go broke." 

A few minutes later, and it was all done.  The adults were able to continue spending like drunk cowboys, the kids would have to pay for it, and business as usual was restored in Washington, D.C.

A couple of hours later, Barack Obama was on television.  "Hopefully next time, it won't be in the 11th hour," Obama said. "We've got to get out of the habit of governing by crisis....  I'm eager to work with anybody.. on any idea that will grow our economy, create new jobs, strengthen the middle class and get our fiscal house in order for the long term.  I've never believed that Democrats have a monopoly on good ideas.. I'm convinced that Democrats and Republicans can work together to make progress for America."

You heard what the man said.  That's how Democrats and Republicans work together to make progress for America. 
Don't thank returning veterans for their service. 
Thank your kids. 


1 comment:

Anonymous said...


...or perhaps moneyless!