Monday, March 17, 2008

Forget Bailing Out The Banks. Someone Bail ME Out.....

The B Word - New York Times
Here's a link to Paul Krugman in the New York Times, discussing the possibility of a "financial system" bailout.

People (aka subprime mortgage recipients) have been trying to purchase houses that they can't possibly afford. Banks have been assuming (falsely) that the value of homes would continue going up, meaning that if the person taking out the loan defaulted, the bank would still own a home worth more than the loan amount. Some people were able to purchase very nice homes relative to their income level. Banks were able to make money like, well, bankers.

But now, the "subprime" people are bailing on home loans. And banks now own houses that aren't worth the loan they issued.

Please allow me to digress....and remember, I can barely allocate my 401K funds properly.

I like to play Blackjack.

I'm never as close to God as I am in that golden moment when the dealer turns over her hole card. (It is always "her" hole card, since male blackjack dealers are bad luck, and I avoid them at all costs.)

Ordinarily, when I go on a cruise in the winter, I do quite well. I also make money in Shreveport (Diamond Jack's Casino ONLY. The Horseshoe Casino is bad luck.) I play Basic Strategy, combined with a system where I double up after the first loss, followed by a smaller increase after the 2nd loss, repeating this until I'm solvent again. Ordinarily, I can cover a one week bar tab and make headway against the cost of some shore excursions. (One other rule - any time I've doubled my initial buy-in, I must leave the table for a while. To do otherwise is tempting Fate. And that's very bad luck.)

Last December was horrible. (Princess Cruise lines.) The cards wouldn't cooperate. For my strategy to work, I have to win one hand out of six. It wasn't happening. A lot of unbudgeted money went from The Whited Sepulchre to Princess Cruise lines.

When I gamble, I'm trying to get something for nothing. Granted, I'm putting capital at risk, but it's not like I'm digging ditches.

I've had a good long string of luck, taking cruise ship casinos for a lot of money, by my standards. But it suddenly ended in December. And it hurt. Bad. (I'm still trying to determine the source of the bad luck. I didn't sit at any tables with male dealers. My keys were always in my left pocket. I consistently began all sentences with vowels. My mojo should've been flawless. None of my actions or wagering decisions could be called "subprime". Compared to the bankers who got us into this subprime mess, I'm almost saintly.)

Anyway, these losses have put The Whited Sepulchre economy into a free fall.

Therefore, I expect you to bail me out. Even if I have an income that's higher than most. I do, after all, have a certain lifestyle to uphold. Appearances must be maintained. I don't have time to wait on the George Bush stimulus package check of $600 to arrive in the mail sometime in April or May. (Next Saturday is the 22nd. 22 is a lucky number, since it signifies a dealer bust hand. I must get back to the tables ! ! !)

Let the bailout begin ! ! !

Here's some of Krugman's article, yanked out of context: If these numbers shock you, they should. But the big bailout is coming. The only question is how well it will be managed.....And we need it quickly: things are falling apart as you read this.

You see, this is urgent. Please let me know ASAP when you're going to send your contribution.

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