Saturday, August 30, 2008

The Cowboys, The Vikings, The Democrats, and The Republicans

A friend from work got me some tickets for Thursday night's Cowboys/Vikings preseason game. These games, of course, mean nothing. They are an opportunity for each offensive team to play against someone besides their own defense, and vice-versa.

Sam Hurd sprained his ankle in the opening drive, which is a bummer. You don't want to risk good players in a meaningless game. The Special Teams looked like death warmed over. (I played junior high football at North Sunflower Academy in Drew, Mississippi. That qualifies me to comment on these things.)
I always show up at these games armed with a radio. Mrs. Whited Sepulchre (whose father coached high school football in the 1960's) can follow everything without radio commentary, but my mind tends to wander unless I have announcers telling me what I'm seeing.
Placing bets on these games is pointless, because winning isn't the primary objective. The teams are there to try out new players. They want to learn which ones are worth keeping, and which should be cut from the team. Very few NFL teams try new plays during these games. Therefore, they're usually dull.
I switched over to the Democrat National Convention before this game even started, which allowed me to see and hear meaningless events simultaneously. (At one point in all this, I ate a totally bland $7.00 Red Barron Tasteless Pizza, and experienced a nihilistic trifecta of sight, sound, and taste.)

But If I thought the Cowboys/Vikings game was pointless....
Obama was throwing out stuff left and right. "I will lower taxes on...." "I will fight for...." "I will lift up my hands to the heavens, and fix...." "If you have enough faith, you can touch the hem of my garment and the tumors will be gone...." Et cetera. Etc. Etc. et freakin' cetera.

These issues are the Democrats' draft picks for the 2008 election: Change, lower taxes for people like us, getting out of Iraq, Change, cutting out corruption, punishing people who aren't like us with higher taxes, Change, and a charismatic black guy. Most of this stuff won't stick, despite being Focus Grouped, Mall Tested, Photoshopped, and Field Surveyed. And if, for instance, the Democrats' official objection to drilling for oil in Alaska fails to resonate with voters? That proposal will be cut from the team quicker than a 12th round draft pick.

Obama could've come out strong on gay and lesbian marriage, he could've proposed reforming our idiotic drug laws, and he could've said something about bringing the troops home from the 45 nations where we're currently paying them to sit. He didn't mention them, despite those issues being "owned" by the Democrats.

This week, McCain and his new draft pick from Alaska might advocate Free Trade, genuine Free Market agreements, school choice/vouchers, getting the insurance companies and lawyers out of my doctor's office, breaking the lobbyist stranglehold, and cutting the size of government by about 50%. He might mention those issues, but if elected he won't do anything about them, despite those issues being "owned" by the Republicans.
The main reason?
They don't have to.
They can get by with just talking about it. As long as these problems remain out there, unresolved, they're effective wedge issues. What would happen if, for instance, "Morning After" contraception was suddenly available from vending machines? What would that do to our carefully defined political dividing lines if the abortion issue was taken off the table? Can you imagine the chaos? Voters would wander off into different herds.
We've gotten very good at fighting over abortion, and would miss it terribly.
The Dems and Reps know you won't "waste" a vote on anyone else. They want you to think that you have no other choice. (I've stopped using the term "3rd party". I'm now calling the Libertarians a 2nd party. Rep's and Dem's are the first party.)
You're being told that there's a battle going on for the soul of the nation, that all of this is very significant, and that this matters more than who wins American Idol.
That's total horsecrap. This election makes the Cowboys/Vikings preseason game look like The Battle of Thermopylae.
The only battle is for driver's seat. Neither of these groups will change the direction of the car.

The main differences between Thursday's Cowboy's/Vikings preseason game and the Democratic and Republican Conventions?

The football game really did have two different teams on the field.

Go Bob Barr !

Cowboys/Vikings photos from ladybugbkt on Flickr. McCain/Palin from Castro News Network. Obama/Biden from The Holy New York Times.


Anonymous said...

I like your idea of Libertarian being the second party. Send that in to the main office and ask them to run with it. Palin supposedly is a "reformer" and not afraid to shine the light on corruption so even if her presence makes a very small difference, I'll be happy.
McCain/Palin 2008

TALKisCHEAP said...

Where I come from, TALK IS CHEAP. I don't need a President that can SPEAK to the issues, I need someone who has a record of accomplishment. Palin has been elected to ever increasing positions of LEADERSHIP. Democratic leadership (Polosi & Co.) now says McCain should have picked a female senator or congresswoman. I suppose that would have been the safe choice, were McCain indeed pandering to women. Instead he chose someone with a history of accomplishments. I can't say the same about Barrack. By dismissing Palin, practically out of hand, Polosi and the rest of the democratic party are trying desparately to reinforce that glass ceiling. And saying McCain has one foot in the grave- isn't that age discrimination? So, from the party of "equal rights/non-discrimination" and "equal pay for equal work", you have the knee jerk reaction (which cuts through the political pandering facade) to reject, regardless of history of accomplishments, two exemplary Americans with histories of getting meaningful things done. By the way, I'm guessing Palin knows that Natural Gas is a fossile fuel, Nancy!

Unknown said...


OK, then Sarah Palin is a distraction. She's a Vice-Presidential candidate, and will do nothing once in the White House.

So, let's judge the republican candidate for president, the "reformer", on his actions: voted with Bush 90% of the time; was a member of the Keating 5 and thus contributed to protecting his rich cronies over the financial well-being of the public; abandoned his sick wife for a younger, richer woman; is well-known for having a terribly short temper and allowing that temper to impair his judgement; abandoned his reformer credentials in a failed attempt to become more palatable to the fanatic conservatives in his own party.

Actually, in reading over that list, it seems to me that the main reason he selected Palin was to distract the public a bit. If you want to elect McCain, if you want to get suckered in the same way you were in 2000 and 2004, go for it I guess. There's no question that it's a sucker's move, but there's one born every minute, right?

Unknown said...

I don't think Mccain actually cares about the country. He would have chosen someone with some sort of qualifications to possibly take his place if something happens to him, not a "hockey mom." Being a hockey mom is not good enough, in fact, its very fricken scary. I think Mccain seriously lost his mind on this choice, and his senile judgment is trully showing.
At least Obama's choice of Biden was meant to benefit the country, whereas it seems as though Palin is being used as a tool to keep women suboordinate to white male Presidents and fulfil Mccains selfish desires.
I hope Cindy gets jealous.

Unknown said...

When a presidential candidate is over 70 years old, you can't help but take the VP candidate choice into account when choosing a Pres -because I DO NOT WANT A SELF-PROCLAIMED "HOCKEY MOM" RUNNING THE COUNTRY if Mccain keels over!!!
Republicans have lost their minds!!!! We are being overrun by stupidity in this country!!! IT'S PERVASIVE, PROLIFIC!!! Being a creationsist IS NOT AN ALTERNATE VIEWPOINT!! IT'S IRRATIONALITY!! It means things like truth and reality do not exist - it's post-modern thinking - These people argue things like there are little devils inside my watch turning the hands around - and then argue they want you to prove them wrong! They're NUTS! Palin is nuts! She will twist logic to argue that we are somehow misogynist or anti-feminist if we call her out on her lack of foreign relations experience! WATCH - I guarantee it! And I am not being judgmental or prejudice in any way - it's simply a true statement! Watch! I hope she looks stupid in the VP debates - Biden's going to chew her up.
I do NOT want to hear anyone ever argue that OBAMA is inexperienced ever again!! Palin isn't much better! You should question whether or not the candidates are experienced at running for high office - Obama beats her hands down!!

Suck on that drive-by Rush Limpy!!