Sunday, August 16, 2009

Teleprompter Jesus

TELEPROMPTER JESUS

If you've got a problem,
Or even think you might,
Just tell him, and he's on it
He'll make everything all right.


He's the D.C. Santa Claus,
He'll meet every need,
He can stop the polar thaws,
cause the oceans to recede.



(Voter Chorus)
Give us everything we want,
We know you want to please us,
If they type it, you will read it,
You're the Teleprompter Jesus !



Cash For Clunkers, Bailouts,
Porkulus and TARP !
Took G.M. and Chrysler,
and he's still looking sharp !



Geithner and Pelosi,
Biden, Harry Reid,
Gonna work together to get
Everything we need.


(Children's Chorus, groaning under the weight of debt)
Give them everything they want,
But if you want to please us,
Make our parents pay their share,
You're the Teleprompter Jesus !



Nine Trillion, Ten Trillion,
Eleven Trillion debt,
As long as China's lending,
Then he ain't finished yet.



Spending all this money,
It's really not so hard,
When he puts the charges on
our childrens' credit card.



(Groaning Chorus of Debtor-Fetuses)
Give them just a little less,
We know you want to please us,
Don't read everything they type,
Dear Teleprompter Jesus !



Jesus fed five thousand
With some fishes and some bread,
Our Man could print a trillion bucks
With one nod of his head.


Gonna spread the wealth around
At least that's the plan,
It won't cost you a penny,
You don't make two-fifty grand.



(Final Chorus, repeat and fade)
Give us everything we want,
We know you want to please us,
If they type it, you will read it,
You're the Teleprompter Jesus !



I've got a basic guitar chord pattern down for this, still working on the melody.
Pics from
here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here.

7 comments:

JA in Tulsa said...

hahahahaahahahaha,

Genius.

TarrantLibertyGuy said...

Man - I liked that! I started trying to tie it to hokey songs like "Proud to be an American" but got a little off track... I'll try "That's what friends are for" and see how that works out...

I'll look forward to seeing your chord progressions for this.

TarrantLibertyGuy said...

this is a pretty good hymn... Try matching it up to "Victory In Jesus".

Side note: my wife's dad was a preacher and when she was a little girl, she thought that this song said "...He socked me, and bopped me. With his redeeming blood!"

Much more Tarantino-esque.

Berit said...

Looking forward to you and Grouchy playing this one together!
All the best!

CharlieDelta said...

Yeah, you have to put this on Youtube or something when you get the guitar parts nailed down.

Nicely worded...

The Whited Sepulchre said...

JA,
I went hehehehehe the whole time I was writing it.

TLG,
You and Denny at the GOC both call it a hymn. I was thinking of it with sort of rockabilly/punk power chords doing a straight chunka-chunka-chunka rhythm.

Everyone else....
Lock up your daughters. Bury the liquor in the back yard. Charlie Delta is in the house !

Elisson said...

Brilliant...just plain fucking brilliant! The Obama '08 for Messiah poster is perfect!