....And you know, Christy, something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it, they were under the heel of the French, uh, you know, Napoleon the third and whatever, and they got together and swore a pact to the devil, they said, we will serve you, if you get us free from the Prince, true story. And so the devil said, 'OK, it's a deal.' And they kicked the French out, the Haitians revolted and got themselves free, and ever since they have been cursed by one thing after the other, desperately poor. . . the Island of Hispaniola is one island cut down the middle. On the one side is Haiti, on the other side is the Dominican Republic. Dominican Republic is, is, prosperous, healthy, full of resorts, etc. Haiti is in desperate poverty, same Islands, uh, they need to have, and we need to pray for them, a great turning to God. And out of this tragedy, I'm optimistic something good may come, but right now we're helping the suffering people, and the suffering is unimaginable.
Lemme tell you about another deal with the devil....
Pat Robertson's father was a southern segregationist, and a U.S. Senator from Virginia.
Robertson Sr. fought against Brown Vs. Board Of Education with all his being. Let it be known that Absalom Willis Robertson did not like black people.
When LBJ sent Lady Bird Johnson on a tour of the southern United States, trying to get support from southern politicians for the Voting Rights Act, Old Man Robertson was one of four senators who refused to meet with her.
LBJ got pissed, and you didn't want Lyndon Johnson pissed. LBJ eventually recruited a man named William Spong (a cousin, I think, to a hero of mine named John Shelby Spong) to run against Senator Robertson.
Spong won the election in one of the biggest upsets in Virginia political history. You know why? Because Absalom Willis Robertson's father made a pact with Satan to try to win the election.
Shortly before election day, A.W. Robertson went upstairs to his bedroom, drew some pentagrams on the floor, said the Lord's prayer backwards a few times, and conjured up Satan. A.W. tried to swap his son, Pat, in exchange for winning the election. Satan double-crossed him, and as punishment, made A.W.'s son a total idiot.
This is what happens when fathers make bad deals with Satan. It never works out well. Satan deceives them every time, and the Satanic curse is handed down to the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th generations.
If you were to dig up the segregationist remains of Senator Absalom Willis Robertson, you would find, on the back of his head, a tattoo of a pentagram surrounding a Confederate Flag. A son like Pat Robertson is what happens if you allow Satan to put his mark on you like this.
Senator Absalom Willis Robertson participated in Witches' Sabbaths, where the senator and his demonic mistresses danced naked beneath the Virginia moon.
This is why Pat Robertson is cursed. His father tried to make a deal with the devil.
If Pat Robertson can make up crap like this, then so can I.
Picture of white dude making a bargain with Satan came from here.
Two fresh coats of Whitening and a powder-coated escutcheon to Bow Wow for being the first to send me a link.