Friday, May 6, 2011

Worst. Debate. Ever.

Stephen Green of Pajamas Media drunkblogged the Republican debates last night.  Green's best line was about the libertarian-ish Gary Johnson:

As a semi-recovering member, I can tell you: He’s a typical libertarian — great on the facts, snoozy/geeky/awkward on the delivery. If you loved the Atlas Shrugged movie, you’re totally digging him right now.

I Tivo'd the debate, and watched about 2/3rds of it this morning.  A few observations:

1) Fox News hosted it, and set it up as a series of "gotcha" questions to each candidate, rather than bringing up an issue and letting all 5 participants address the same question.  Therefore, the debate had the exciting feel and flow of channel surfing in a hotel with 5 TV stations. 

2) Tim Pawlenty and Rick Santorum are two incredibly dull people.  I actually found myself yearning for the 190 pounds of wind, shit and excitement known as Mitt Romney. 

3) Herman Cain is a lot of fun.  I'd work for that guy.  (The businessman, not the potential president.) 

4) Gary Johnson, when he starts to awkwardly explain something, reminds me 

5) Can we all, for the good of our Republic, pull together as a nation and RENT a new suit for Ron Paul? 

This debate was a total waste of time.  Fox News shouldn't be allowed to host a post-baptism family luncheon at East Fork County Line Baptist Church.  If Pawlenty and Santorum are supposed to be the "establishment" candidates, the Republicans need a new establishment.  Paul and Johnson, the two libertarians, could both use a speech coach.  Herman Cain probably gained the most ground from this event. 

Here's who I'd like to see as debate moderators next time.....

Denny from The Grouchy Old Cripple
Rachel Maddow from MSDNC.
Don Boudreaux from Cafe Hayek (and, incidentally, George Mason University)
Nick Gillespie from Reason magazine.
Keith Olbermann from Al Gore's TV station. 

Each presidential candidate would be allowed to ask one question during the two hour debate.  The moderators would discuss the question for 10 minutes or blood flowed, whichever comes first. 

Lord have mercy, that thing last night was dull. 


Dr Ralph said...

Best/funniest post I've read here in a long while - and why I put up with your occasional(?) crazy talk.

Loved your proposed changes to the format and list of moderators - and thanks for the GMU shout out.

Put me down for $5 towards Ron Paul's new suit.

The Whited Sepulchre said...

The source of comedy is tragedy.