Thursday, February 2, 2012

A C Minor Chord Walks Into A Bar....

Some knowledge of music theory is required on this one....

C, E-flat, and G go into a bar.
The bartender says, "Sorry, but we don't serve minors."
So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them.
After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished, and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. D comes in and heads for the bathroom, saying, "Excuse me; I'll just be a second."
Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor.
Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."
E-flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, "You're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development." S
Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural.
Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest.
C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional facility


Nick Rowe said...

That was funny, and Im still learning.

Guitar is coming along slowly. I can play all the major chords except B, most of the minors and sevenths. Just started Barre chords and power chords, strumming patterns and alternating picking. I've been practicing the chromatic and pentatonic scales. I'm going to try the Blues scale this weekend. Still having trouble with dead, muffled, and rattling strings. My pinky is still weak, but i have good calluses on the other fingers. Holding down two strings with one finger is tough, so my B and F majors are awful.

I'm getting a good transition between A and D and between E and G. The others are taking too long in transition to hold the strumming pattern.

Approaching nothing close to a real song.

I probably need to change to medium strings but I've been deliberately challenging myself.

It's fun. I don't regret buying a guitar, but I'm having some regrets I didn't start with an electric. I hear they are easier.

Lessons on the internet are free which is well worth the price.

Dr Ralph said...

Oohh...that was bad. In a clever, funny way!

Methinks you are psyching yourself up for the resumption of the post-Super Bowl guitar circle. I'm there!

Nick, we need you there, too!

Nick Rowe said...

Ralph, if there was any way I could fly down tomorrow, I would. I'm hunkered down seven klicks inside VC territory and knee deep in hand grenade pins. I'm living in a libertarian's worst nightmare.

Im looking forward to August when, I hope, I will no longer be in this three year Hell of self education for a career I will likely never be in.

But I will be looking for "training" or "conferences" in Dallas later this year so we can jam together. Rather, you can jam, and I'll make noises like a tortured cat. I'm not even sure if my guitar strap is right side up - there wasn't a YouTube video for that.

I hope beer improves musical talent or at least makes me less sensitive to public humiliation.

Dr Ralph said...

Nick, we've all done our share of musical cat torture.

Beer (and other adult beverages) does indeed improve musical abilities. At least it makes you less self-conscious.

We will keep an empty chair for you!