Save The Earth - Buy A New Hummer

This is the official list of the top 10 new vehicles purchased under the Cash For Clunkers program.

1. Ford Focus
2. Honda Civic
3. Toyota Corolla
4. Toyota Prius
5. Ford Escape
6. Toyota Camry
7. Dodge Caliber
8. Hyundai Elantra
9. Honda Fit
10. Chevy Cobalt

Now that is a wholesome looking list, wouldn't you say? Except for the Ford Escape (and maybe the Civic) it reeks of earth-saving virtue.
The downside is that it's the government's list you're looking at, and therefore it's total horse crap.

On a list like this, do you think it's honest to distinguish between the Ford F-150 with seats of rich Corinthian leather, and the F-150 with seats carved from the tanned, preserved buttocks of gullible Democrats? And dilute the sales of the F-150 by acting like those are two different vehicles?
Should Hummers with radio stations preset to National Socialist Radio, Air America, and 1360 AM Rational Radio count as different makes and models from the Hummers with stations preset to right wing AM rants?
Please stay with me. This is good stuff.

Here's the real list, according to Edmunds, a respected auto industry sales guide:
1. Ford Escape
2. Ford Focus
3. Jeep Patriot
4. Dodge Caliber
5. Ford F-150
6. Honda Civic
7. Chevrolet Silverado
8. Chevrolet Cobalt
9. Toyota Corolla
10.Cobalt Ford Fusion

Wonder why the lists look so different? Here's CNN:

For example, the Ford Escape is available in six different versions including two- and four-wheel drive and hybrid versions. The government counts each version as a different vehicle using guidelines from the Environmental Protection Agency. Only the front wheel drive, non-hybrid version made the government's top ten list.

The Ford Escape crossover SUV, instead of being the seventh-most popular vehicle under the program, as the government ranked it, was actually the best seller, according to Edmunds.com. The government pegged the Ford Focus as the top seller.

But wait, there's more ! ! ! Want to get $3,500 off the price of a Hummer, virtually synonymous with gas-guzzling American excess ????

But will buying a new Hummer H-3, Chevy Suburban or Ford F-250 Super Duty pickup really reduce America's craving for crude? Somebody thinks so, because they're all eligible new cars under the Cash for Clunkers program, which gives a $3,500 to $4,500 credit to car buyers trading in older gas guzzlers for more fuel-efficient cars.

But a close look at what qualifies as "more fuel efficient" in the program reveals loopholes big enough to drive a GMC Yukon through (yes, that's eligible, too.) The guidelines in the House-passed bill state that large SUVs and trucks, typically considered gas guzzlers in everyday conversation, qualify for the $3,500 credit, and in some cases the $4,500 credit, depending on the trade-ins that come through the door for them. New Category 2 trucks -- like the Hummer H-3, Ford Explorer, Chevy Silverado, and Toyota Tundra -- qualify if they get at least 15 MPG combined, and get at least one mile per gallon more than the car or truck being traded in.

This farce has nothing to do with saving the earth. This farce is about saving Detroit for one more election cycle.

The next time you see someone in a brand new Hummer, the neo-fascist military limo, stop and make conversation with him. Ask him how he likes it.



Tell him you hope he's happy with it. After all, you probably helped him buy it.
Fresh coats of Whitening all around to The Agitator and The Take for the links.