Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Predictions for tonight's State Of The Union address

Some predictions for tonight's State Of The Union speech.

1) Michelle Obama will be seated beside A) a Haitian B) some Iraq/Afghanistan vets C) a survivor of the flight almost blown up by Captain Underpants, and/or D) someone with a serious healthcare issue.

2) I'm setting the over/under for "Let me be clear" and "Let there be no mistake" - type formulations at two and a half.

3) He won't use his patented "There are those who say...." strawman as blatantly as he has done in the past. He will, however, find a way to point to an extreme position on the right, an extreme position on the left, and then reveal something in the middle personified by his own awesome, glorious self.

4) Nancy Pelosi won't jump up and start applauding halfway through each sentence.

5) He will begin by saying "The state of The Union is good". This is traditionally met with a standing ovation. Republicans will go through the motions of participating, but it will seem weak.

6) It's not going to take him nearly as long to get to the podium as it used to. He might be able to make it to the front of the room in record time.

7) Regardless of which network you're watching, out of 100 Senators and 435 members of the House, the camera will zoom in on Joe "You Lie" Wilson at least three times. Especially when the network thinks Obama is lying.

8) Because of his actions at the beginning of the current recession, Obama will take credit for saving the planet, not prolonging a correction.

9) During the spin-doctor interviews after the speech, no one will ridicule the idea of "jobs created and saved".

10) During the spin-doctor interviews after the speech, no one will ridicule the idea of taking money from taxpayers to pay for jobs in favored companies as a "stimulus". Republicrats and Demoblicans are making too much money off the scam to criticize it.

11) When Obama announces a 3-year spending freeze (and he'll have a straight face when he does it) there will be members of Congress who have to break down and start laughing.

1 comment:

Harper said...

Michelle is sharing her box (giggle) with Mark Todd and Kimberly Munley, the two police officers credited with stopping Nadal at Ft Hood. Munley is a veteran, is married to an active duty soldier who has served 2 tours in Iraq and, considering her injuries, has several lingering health issues.

According to Fox News: "In addition to Munley and Todd, there will be four other military related guests seated with the First Lady. They will include a a recently retired Iraq veteran who was shot in the face, recovered and is now working at the Department of Transportation in Colorado; an Army soldier recently back from Iraq; and two National Guard spouses (one of whom is a Marine veteran herself and is finishing her education under the Montgomery GI Bill.)"

You were dead on in your predictions.