About once a week I get emails that are variations of "The Spanish Prisoner" con game.
Somebody has died, and left me all their money. Their law firm needs access to my bank account so they can deposit some of the money. A little bit of money would go in, and I'd get to spend it. Then all of my money would disappear, usually to Nigeria.
I've been posting the emails here, just to get Google search hits from the thousands (out of the millions of people who get spammed) who are curious enough to research the names involved.
Most of the emails originate from Nigeria, with a few coming out of London, and the spelling and grammar make me look like Henry James.
Very few of them make me laugh out loud. But then I got this:
ADDRESS: Edgware Road,
London W2 2HZEngland.
PRUDENT CHAMBERS? PRUDENT CHAMBERS? As in, I don't want to make out in the middle of the street. Let's rent a Prudent Chamber....????
I looked up Prudent Chambers (I might name our next dog Prudent Chambers) and came up with this law firm Suleyman Consulting (Formarly Prudent Chambers). Of course, they're in Nigeria.
Re means "in regards to" or "what the letter is about". This one is apparently about "Attention".
This message is intended only for the use of the individual or organization to whom it is addressed. It contains information that is privilege and confidential but exempts from disclosure under the applicable law(s). If you are not the intended recipient, employee or agent responsible for delivery of this message to the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that dissemination or copying of this message is strictly prohibited.
No, let's go ahead and show it to the world. If they don't really know if I'm an individual or an organization, I don't think Prudent Chambers is going to sue me.
NOTIFICATION OF BEQUEST We act as solicitors and our services have been retained by MR ANDREAS SCHRANNER now late herein after referred to as our client. On behalf of Late MR ANDREAS SCHRANNER....
Andreas died? NOOooooo..... Not Andreas ! ! ! We were at band camp together ! I helped him with the trombone part to "Make Me Smile" and "25 or 6 to 4" by Chicago, and helped him learn to march and play scales at the same time.
I write to notify you that my late client made you a beneficiary to the bequest sum of US$5,500, 000.00 Million (FIVE MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS)....
Just in case we were having trouble counting all those zeros. I like it when law firms spell those things out in huge capital letters for me.
....in the codicil to his will and last testament. My client, Late MR ANDREAS SCHRANNER who died on 31st July, 2000 in a plane crash with his entire family at the age of 64.
He left all that money to me? To me? His mother (Old Lady Schranner) always told me that Andreas came back from band camp saying I was the best friend he'd ever had ! ! !
Until his death, he was a member of several non-governmental organizations and he was also a great philanthropist and a property magnet.
Dorky little Andreas became a property magnet. Unbelieveable.
You can find more information from this link:http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/859479.stm
I also like it when law firms put links to newspaper articles in their emails. Helpful.
This bequest is for support of your activities, humanitarian services and help to the less-privileged.
I'm gonna spend it all on activities.
In accordance with our inheritance laws you are required to reply back to me for documents of proof as the bonafide beneficiary.
I'll have to spend the rest of the day looking through my old scrapbooks for that letter from Andreas, the one where he thanked me for being his best friend ever.
We are perfecting arrangements to complete the lodgement of this money into your desired bank account.
Yes, yes, keep perfecting arrangements for that lodgement. I bet the real Andreas Schranner's surviving friends and family (hit the link above) wish they could perfect arrangements for the lodgement of a brick up your rear end.
Please acknowledge the receipt of this letter immediately.
Consider the letter acknowledged.