North and South Korea - a perfect control group situation

North Korea and South Korea GDP. No further commentary necessary.

Which of King Herod's programs would Jesus support?

From the Gospel of Mark, Chapter 21, verses 9-18: 

And Jesus turned to his disciples, saying 'Blessed is he who sees his brother in pain, or naked, or hungry, and says unto his brother, "Fear not, for I shall get Caesar involved.  Otherwise, I might be personally inconvenienced." 

And the disciples said unto Jesus, "Master, Master, did not you ask us to forsake our homes, our nets, our boats, and our families so that we could help the least of all these?" 

And Jesus mocked them, saying, "Yea, verily, I say unto you, in my Father's house are many mansions.  And the greatest of these shall go to those who are really tight with King Herod." 

Go here for the latest example of the church saying "Let's get Caesar involved".   As if Jesus would really support the Department Of Health And Human Services money pit. 

For Henry and Patricia

Will Campbell is the author of "Brother To A Dragonfly", which won the National Book Award in 1978. 

He was the inspiration for Reverend Will B. Dunn in the Kudzu comic strip. 

He earned a Doctorate from the Yale Divinity School. 

Any of those three things would be enough to earn some serious respect.  Campbell was also a civil rights worker in the Deep South during the 60's.  He spoke out against the Viet Nam war when almost everyone around him disagreed.  This was back in the day when "liberals" were against any war, not just Republican wars.  They didn't trust the government, no matter which team was running it. 

Heck of a guy, that Will Campbell. 

My friends Henry and Patricia are getting married this weekend in New Orleans.  I was planning to be there.  They even asked me to get ordained so I could perform the marriage ceremony.  (I got 'er done through the Universal Life Church.)  Because of some personal complications, I'm going to have to think about Henry and Patricia from afar during their wedding. 

Had I been able to be there, my part of the service would've been along these lines, boiled down and condensed considerably.....

Here's Will Campbell, writing about marriage in "Brother To A Dragonfly".  The italics are mine:

If there is a body, a community, which is truly Church, or even claims to be Church, why should it be the executor of Caesar’s documents? What is a marriage license but a legal contract? And what does any legal contract promise and offer except the right to sue one another at another time and place before another of Caesar’s agents? Perhaps such contracts are socially necessary but what does that have to do with us? And even if we are not Church now but want to become Church, free from the demands and legality of Caesar, why not start by returning all of his documents and refusing ever to do it again? “No, Mr. Caesar, that is not our understanding of what marriage is all about. If you must protect yourself and your citizenry in this fashion you may continue to do so. But not with our help and blessing. Let the faithful come before the altar of the One we must serve rather than, and before, you. And acting on His, and only His, authority we will pronounce them man and woman, husband and wife.”

Too Libertarian?  Probably.  Did Henry and Patricia know that's what they'd get if they asked me to do their wedding?  Probably. 

Back to Will Campbell:

I was never again to say, “By the authority vested in me by the State of Tennessee.” If my authority as a priest comes from the State, then I have no authority at all. From that time on, I began all weddings by saying, “Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar’s. If you have a license, we will sign it at this time.” And then saying to the couple, “Now what we have just done is to endow you with a legal contract. It has nothing to do with Christian marriage. It is nothing more than a contract between you and this state which gives you the right to sue one another if you should ever desire to do so.” And the document is tossed casually, and sometimes contemptuously aside. “Now, the passage which begins ‘Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar’s continues. ‘And render unto God the things that are God’s.’ And the wedding begins at this point.”

Lord have mercy, I would have enjoyed contemptuously casting that document aside.  Especially during Jazzfest in New Orleans.  Oh well.  Back to Will Campbell:

Maybe one day I will yet follow my conscience and refuse to sign that document at all, ask the couple to have a Justice of the Peace sign the Contract of Caesar. And on a number of occasions there have been no such documents. And by the authority vested in me by Almighty God I have pronounced them man and woman, husband and wife. And I defy Caesar to question that they are married. But those without the document are required to spend an extended amount of time with me and with one another in making sure they are ready for such radical trust and commitment. For they do not have the protection that the legal contract would afford them. They cannot sue one another. They have only themselves, the community if there be one, and the source of the authority which so joins them. Those who have come with no license have not come flaunting liberation but bearing witness to servanthood. They are not products of a new morality but an anachronism of an old morality, a testimony to “Jesus Christ is Lord. Hallelujah!” (from Brother to a Dragonfly, 213-214)

You get the idea. 

Henry Farrish, my friend since the 4th grade, and Patricia Starnes, my friend since freakin' kindertgarten, would've come away from the ceremony knowing that they were by-God married.  I would've tied that knot and yanked on it in front of the entire Ninth Ward to make sure it was going to hold. 

Henry and Patricia have spent 40 to 45 years with me, and I am assured that they are ready for this type of radical trust and commitment. 

They don't need the protection of a legal contract.  Anyone who hangs out with them needs diabetes medication to keep from going into insulin shock. 

They will not sue each other. 

They have something that so many people do not have.
 
I do so wish them all the best. 

Jesus born in a manger? Why didn't they get Caesar involved?

This bit o' greatness came from these guys, who I suspected I'll be ripping off until they die. 

Since the other government departments have been so freakin' great....

Please allow me to beat the crap out of a few dead horses before getting to my point....

The Department of Education was founded in 1980. 

Here's a graph showing education spending vs. test scores.  Did you notice how test scores improved and lurched upward in 1980, when all the insane spending on education got started?  I didn't either. 

Next topic....The Department of Energy was founded shortly after the oil non-crisis of 1977 during the Carter administration, and now has 16,000 employees, 100,000 contract employees and an annual budget of over $24 billion.  The Department was created to reduce our dependence on foreign oil. 

(I firmly believe that wanting to reduce our dependence on foreign anything is a silly concept.  You can reduce your dependence on Proctor and Gamble by making your own soap.  You can reduce your dependence on Joseph A. Banks by sewing your own suits.  You can reduce your dependence on the internet by going to the library.  But that is no way to live your life.  Depending on others is good.  The only truly self-reliant people on our planet live in mud huts and have trouble keeping their feces out of their food.  But at least they don't depend on foreigners.  And they have a very small carbon footprint!!!) 

Sorry for the digression.  The Department of Energy was supposed to reduce our "dependence" on foreign oil.  Here's another chart.  Do you see the massive decrease in oil imports after the founding of the Department Of Energy?  I don't either. 

Let's pick on another recent Cabinet level Department, just for grins and giggles.  Lyndon Johnson birthed the Department Of Housing And Urban Development in 1965 because some government employees conducted a study that found there was a larger possible role for the Federal Government in solving urban problems, a role that would save and create jobs for more government employees. 

One of HUD's most notorious blunders was to round up large numbers of the urban poor, bulldoze their homes, and move them into high-rise hellholes where they had no connections to former neighbors, no sense of community, and no real reason to give a rip about their surroundings. 

Forget the charts.  Forget The Village Voice claiming that HUD was "the worst landlord" in New York City.  For these guys, we need video !!!!

Here's a time lapse of the destruction of the infamous Cabrini-Green housing project in Chicago:

Why the demolition of a beautiful HUD project?

During the worst years of Cabrini–Green's problems, vandalism increased substantially. Gang members and miscreants covered interior walls with graffiti and damaged doors, windows, and elevators. Rat and cockroach infestations were commonplace, rotting garbage stacked up in clogged trash chutes (it once piled up to the 15th floor), and basic utilities (water, electricity, etc.) often malfunctioned and were left unrepaired. On the exterior, boarded-up windows, burned-out areas of the facade, and pavement instead of green space—all in the name of economizing on maintenance—created an atmosphere of neglect and decay. The high "open galleries" were enclosed with steel fencing along the entire height of the building to prevent residents from emptying rubbish bins into the yard, from falling, and from being thrown off to their deaths (giving the visual appearance of a large prison tier, or animal cages, which further enraged community leaders).

Here's a video of Missouri's Pruitt-Igoe housing project implosion:

To be fair, this particular hellhole was built prior to HUD's existence. But it was still a government housing project. You can scour the 'net in vain trying to find someone saying a good thing about the place.

If you're really into this kind of thing, you can go here to watch all the videos of the demolition of Chicago's Robert Taylor Housing Project. 

Now.  Just to cleanse the palate before our main course, here's the video of the last flights out of Saigon, April 1975. 

I could bring up ethanol subsidies, the Department of Motor Vehicles, Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya, TARP, the Bailouts, the government-inflicted Housing Bubble, the looming bankruptcy of Social Security, the Porkulus Package, the 15 trillion dollar debt/bar tab we're going to leave to our unborn fetuses, and our government's thousands of other debacles.

I don't have time for those.

Here's the kicker.

Barack Freakin' Obama, who couldn't organize a dinner luncheon, is seriously thinking about creating a Department Of Jobs.

The administration may also merge the Department of Commerce, the Office of the United States Trade Representative and some economic divisions at the State Department into a new agency, administration officials said. Possible names include the Department of Jobs or the Department of Competitiveness.

May God have mercy on us all.  I can't imagine how badly he's going to screw that up. 

We've had a good run since 1776.  Maybe our time is over. 

It has been a pleasure writing for you.  Good luck, everyone. 

Charlie Rangel thinks that Jesus would get Caesar involved....

Here are some theological musings from noted tax cheat Charlie Rangel, via CNN:

Washington (CNN) - Veteran Democratic Rep. Charlie Rangel made an impassioned plea to religious leaders Friday, calling on them to lobby members of Congress and the Obama administration to remember the "lesser of my brothers and sisters" during this weekend's debt negotiations.

"What would Jesus do this weekend? Or Moses. Or Allah. Or anyone else," the New York congressman said at a press conference on Capitol Hill. "I don't want this book (debt negotiations) closed without the clergy having an opportunity to forcefully express themselves as well as I know they can do."

The idea of Jesus getting his Galilean disciples to agitate for King Herod's favorite projects has always made me break out in giggles.  (Check out Jim Wallis and Sojourners to learn more about the concept.) 
To reach this level of gullibility, one has to assume that government is always good, and that stated intentions eliminate all other outcomes, and that the wisdom and administrative expertise of Charlie Rangel is enough to cancel the need for any other options for the "lesser of my brothers and sisters". 

Top congressional leaders and the White House have been steeped in contentious negotiations over raising the nation's $14.3 trillion debt ceiling.Treasury Department officials, along with top economists, warn that a failure to raise the limit by August 2 could lead to a global economic crisis and dire consequences for the U.S., including skyrocketing interest rates and a falling dollar.

Rangel said he was stumped as to why Washington wouldn't be "besieged by spiritual leaders saying 'do what you have to do - but not to the homeless, the jobless and the helpless. Not to the sick. And certainly not to the aging that are sick or those depending on Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid.'"

"And certainly not the 60,000 troops we have who aren't fighting the Russians in Europe, but are stationed there anyway.  Or the 45,000 we have who are not fighting the North Koreans in South Korea.  Or the hundreds of thousands of black males who are living in cages because they violated marijuana prohibitions, but whose feeding and maintenance and after-care supervision creates tens of thousands of government jobs.  Or the tens of thousands of bureaucrats in the useless departments of Education and Energy.  We want to decrease my grandchildren's debt, but not on the backs of those worthy people."

"I have not heard from those people who have been called by God to protect the poor. I haven't heard them," he said. "The issues that are going to be discussed this weekend involve spiritual, moral issues."

And Rangel's plea to the poor and helpless? Call your religious leaders and ask, "what is Medicare all about? What is Medicaid all about? Why do we have taxes?'"

Great question, Charlie.  Great question. We have taxes so you can take your cut off the top, and funnel the rest to your supporters in the name of helping "the least of these, my brethren". 

Here's my favorite song on the topic.  I really need to get the YouTube done on this thing. 

"Jesus taught the multitudes one day in Galilee,
Must have been five thousand, and they all got hungry....
Disciples came to Jesus, and said "Get those people fed.
Jesus turned toward heaven, and this is what he said:

(bass) And he said

Let's get Caesar involved !
Caesar will get your problem solved. 
Go away and let me relax, that's why I pay all that tax,
You need to get Caesar involved. 

Three men saw a traveller that thieves had robbed and beat.
Two men were too busy, but one man stopped to speak
"Buddy that looks painful, yeah sometimes life's a bitch. 
Samaritans no longer pull your ass out of the ditch....."

(bass) They just say...

Let's get Caesar involved !
He will get the problem solved.
I used to go the second mile, but in your case I think that I'll
Just try to get Caesar involved.

A wedding feast in Cana had just run out of wine,
The groom, he came to Jesus, and said make us some moonshine...
But Jesus had no permits, nor a license to distill,
So he said I can't help you, boy but I know one who will

(bass) And he said

Let's get Caesar involved !
The government will get the problem solved. 
Give to Caesar what is his, next you'll give him all their is,
So let's get Caesar involved.

So if you're on life's highway, burdened with sin and shame,
Just call on Big Brother, just call out his name....
Don't call out for your neighbor, or friends and family,
They will just refer you to Washington, D.C.,

(bass) And they'll say

Let's get Caesar involved !
The empire will get the problem solved. 
If you find that you can't cope, call on Mr. Change and Hope....
That you can get Caesar involved.

(Repeat chorus forever and ever, praising Caesar, King Herod, and Charlie Rangel, and thanking them for their great and glorious works.) 

Ben Bernanke is puzzled

We've allowed the government to spend almost a trillion dollars on make-work projects to stimulate the economy. 

We've destroyed almost 3/4 of a million automobiles so we could recycle the metal and make new automobiles (see: Cash For Clunkers)

We've introduced ObamaCare, a program that has scared the living shit out of anyone foolish enough to consider hiring new employees. 

The Federal Reserve is printing new de-valued money faster than McDonald's prints Happy Meal boxes.

We've elected a president who would have to study for 5 years to rise to the level of "economic idiot".   

The National Labor Relations Board is now telling companies where they can and cannot build factories. 

The Democrat Party is floating all sorts of potential policies to raise taxes and punish success. 

And Ben Freakin' Bernanke, chair of the Federal Reserve, says he doesn't "have a precise read on why this slower pace of growth is persisting".   

I swear to God, he said it. 

Which of King Herod's programs would Jesus cut ???

"I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me... ... "And the King will say, 'I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!'"  - Matthew 25:36

From The Orlando Sentinel:

Members of Orlando Food Not Bombs were arrested Wednesday when police said they violated a city ordinance by feeding the homeless in Lake Eola Park.


....The penalty for violating Orlando's ordinance is 60 days in jail, a $500 fine or both.

Arrest documents state that Orlando Food Not Bombs received permits and fed more than 25 homeless people at Lake Eola Park on May 18 and 23. Coleman said the group rejected the permits.

From the Belief Blog:

A coalition of progressive Christian leaders has taken out a full-page ad that asks “What would Jesus cut?” in Monday’s edition of Politico, the opening salvo in what the leaders say will be a broader campaign to prevent cuts for the poor and international aid programs amid the budget battle raging in Washington.

What would Jesus cut?  As in, which of King Herod's or Caesar's programs would Jesus really get behind and lobby for and which ones would he campaign against?

Give me a freakin' break.   

The first King Herod (who supposedly murdered tens of thousands of Jewish babies) and Caesar (who had almost as many troops in the field as Obama) had different priorities than Jesus.  Herod and Caesar still have different priorities from the Jesus painted in our surviving gospels. 

When person A takes stuff by force from person B to give it to person C, it doesn't mean person A is a good person.  It usually means person A is simply a Statist thief. 
Person B isn't improved by the process either. 

Herod and Caesar hate, hate, hate competitors.  They don't want anyone else to deliver mail, defend property, maintain privacy, teach children, start a new currency, or in the case above, care for the homeless and hungry. 

"Give unto Caesar that which is Caesar's.  And then give him everything else.  For Caesar is freakin' awesome."  - Luke 20:25

********************

Thanks to Stephen Gordon on Facebook for the link to the Orlando Sentinel article.

I hope to do a YouTube video of this sometime soon.  Here's a song I wrote called "Let's Get Caesar Involved". 

"Jesus taught the multitudes one day in Galilee,
Must have been five thousand, and they all got hungry....
Disciples came to Jesus, and said "Get those people fed.
Jesus turned toward heaven, and this is what he said:

(bass) And he said

Let's get Caesar involved !
Caesar will get your problem solved. 
Go away and let me relax, that's why I pay all that tax,
You need to get Caesar involved. 

Three men saw a traveller that thieves had robbed and beat.
Two men were too busy, but one man stopped to speak
"Buddy that looks painful, yeah sometimes life's a bitch. 
Samaritans no longer pull your ass out of the ditch.

(bass) They just say...

Let's get Caesar involved !
He will get the problem solved.
I used to go the second mile, but in your case I think that I'll
Just try to get Caesar involved.

A wedding feast in Cana had just run out of wine,
One man said to Jesus, make us some moonshine...
But Jesus had no permits, nor a license to distill,
So he said I can't help you, but I know one who will

(bass) And he said

Let's get Caesar involved !
Government will get the problem solved. 
Give to Caesar what is his, next you'll give him all their is,
So let's get Caesar involved.

So if you're on life's highway, burdened with sin and shame,
Just call on Big Brother, just call out his name....
Don't call out for your neighbor, or friends and family,
They will just refer you to Washington, D.C.,

(bass) And they'll say

Let's get Caesar involved !
He will get the problem solved. 
If you find that you can't cope, call on Mr. Change and Hope....
That you can get Caesar involved.

(Repeat chorus forever and ever, praising Caesar and thanking him for his great and glorious works.) 

Give unto Caesar. And then give some more unto Caesar.

I've devoted the last 6 months to re-translating the New Testament. The document that you think of as "Bible" is filled with so many translation mistakes that I believe some of the errors were intentional. You can hit the "Bible Re-interpretation" tag at the bottom of this post to read more translations.

You might be familiar with the story of the religious leaders coming to Jesus and trying to trap him with his own words. They ask if it's ok to give money to the government. In the erroneous version, Jesus replies "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's."

This is wrong, wrong, wrong. Here's the corrected text, based on more recent scholarship (mine). This is from Matthew, Chapter 22, verse 15.

15 Then the Pharisees went out and laid plans to trap him in his words.

16 They sent their disciples to him along with the Herodians. "Teacher," they said, "we know you are a man of integrity and that you teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. You aren't swayed by men, because you pay no attention to who they are.

17 Tell us then, what is your opinion? Is it right to pay taxes to Caesar or not?"

18 But Jesus, knowing their evil intent, said, "You hypocrites, why are you trying to trap me?

19 Show me the coin used for paying the tax." They brought him a denarius,

20 and he asked them, "Whose portrait is this? And whose inscription?"

21 "Caesar's," they replied. Then he said to them, "Give to Caesar that what is Caesar's, and then follow up by giving to Caesar that what is God's. Give unto Caesar that which is not yet even yours, through the Value-Added Tax. Give unto Caesar your firstborn sons to be his warriors, and give him your daughters to be his maidservants. Give Caesar your chariot manufacturing companies, and give him the right to lower the compensation of executives. Give unto Caesar all responsibility for your brother, and the aged, and the poor, for this relieves you of responsibility. Make your wealthy neighbor give more unto Caesar, for he thinks he's better than you. Oh, and I almost forgot. Put Caesar in charge of healthcare, since he does such a great job of delivering the mail."

22 And then Jesus finished by saying "Caesar is freakin' awesome."

23 When the Pharisees heard this, they were relieved, for they knew their faith-based funding from The Empire would remain intact. So they left him and went away rejoicing.

The pictures of Rendering Unto Caesar came from here and here.

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