A Climate Change Parable

I was reading some silliness about Global Cooling or Global Warming or  Climate Change on The Guardian's website, and came upon this little parable by someone named CloutPerson.  It beautifully captures why there are so many skeptics and denialists remaining in the reality-based community.

(Another reason for our skepticism is that we all own thermometers.  Read the article in the link.  The author is distressed and bothered because the thermometers aren't agreeing with the theories.) 

Enjoy.  I've changed a few of CloutPerson's obscure British references to equally obscure Texas references, and I've thrown in some helpful pics at the end. 

Here's Mr. CloutPerson's parable.   

I was engaged in my favourite hobby of jumping up and down the other day, when a fellow up-and-down jumper sidled up alongside me and said "Do you realise that jumping up and down will cause the ground to collapse? If we don't stop jumping up and down we'll all fall into an enormous chasm and be killed."

"Really?" I answered. "In that case why are you still jumping up and down?"

"Didn't you hear what I said?" he hissed. "It's known as ground-collapse theory - GCT for short!"

"I heard you very well," I answered. "But you haven't answered my question. I'm still curious as to why you keep jumping up and down if it is going to cause the ground to collapse."

"You fool!" he spluttered. "Don't you realise that 95% of scientists are convinced that GCT is real!"

He pointed. "Look!" I followed his finger, and saw a large group of people. By their appearance you could tell that they were all eminent scientists.  They were wearing white lab coats and were jumping up and down with thick academic studies that proved that jumping up and down was going to cause the ground to collapse.  And yet all of them were jumping up and down with varying degrees of vigor.

"You still haven't answered my question," I said. "Surely if all these eminent scientists are convinced that GCT is real, they would stop jumping up and down."

"Idiot!" he spat out the word. "Stupid, blinkered, denialist!"

"Actually, you still haven't answered my question," I responded mildly. "If I was as convinced of the reality of GCT as you seem to be, and I wanted everybody to stop jumping up and down, then I'd probably stop jumping up and down myself first. Otherwise my argument might seem rather less than compelling -"

"SHUT UP!" he interrupted me with an apoplectic scream, his face contorted with rage and hatred. "It should be a CRIMINAL OFFENCE to deny the reality of Ground Collapse Theory! You're worse than a MURDERER! You should be in JAIL along with all the other RACIST SWIVEL-EYED DAILY HEIL READING NAZI UKIP FACISTS!"

(UKIP is the United Kingdom Independence Party - Libertarian, non-racist, limited government - all the usual insults.  I think the Daily Heil is a reference to London's Daily Mail.  Somebody on that side of the pond, please help us out in the comment field....) 

And with these final words he took his leave, frothing and purple.

"But why are you still jumping up and down?" I called after his disappearing form....

Good stuff, right? 
Earlier this weekend, our Secretary Of State, John Kerry, put on one of his longest of long faces and declared that Climate Change "science" is clear.

"It is irrefutable and it is alarming," Kerry told a climate conference in Majuro in the Marshall Islands in a video address from Washington.
"If we continue down our current path, the impacts of climate change will only get worse."

Here are pics of John Kerry's houses, getaways, beach cottages, mansions, townhouses, and cabins.  If John Kerry wants anyone to believe his bullshit, he needs to stop jumping up and down.
 
Most of the pics came from here. 

This is the Kerry Karbon Footprint in Beacon Hill. 

 

Here's Kerry's small, sensible, ecologically sensible Georgetown residence

 

Fox Chapel, Pennsylvania.  A carbon footprint big enough to negate all the recycling you'll do for the rest of your life. 

 

The little beach cottage in Nantucket. 

 

The Ketchum, Idaho ski getaway

If you believe Kerry's Chicken Little-ism, or Al Gore's, by all means send them money.  Pay for factories to reconfigure to reduce emissions.  Give Gore and Kleiner-Perkins money to plant trees to offset your carbon footprint. I respect your right to be gullible. 

 

But please don't tell anyone that these guys believe a word they're saying.  In a world of people who are now afraid that the ground is going to collapse, they're the ones jumping up and down the hardest.  

When in doubt, bang a newspaper on the table

This guy no more understands ObamaCare than he understands The Pelagian Heresy. 

Enjoy the political savvy and communication style of Rep. Ciro Rodriguez, Democrat, Texas 23rd District. 

PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC

PANIC !  PANIC !  PANIC ! 
ABOUT A MONTH AGO, I "MONETIZED" THIS WEBSITE, MEANING THAT I ALLOWED GOOGLE TO POST SOME ADS HERE.   
THIS MEANS THAT EVERY MONTH I'LL MAKE ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY COFFEE FOR ONE DAY.
I SWEAR ON A STACK OF BIBLES (KING JAMES VERSION) THAT I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER WHAT ADS APPEAR HERE. 
THE AD THAT JUST CAME UP ON YOUR RIGHT, AS OF SATURDAY, APRIL 3RD, WAS AN AD WITH AN EAGLE ON TOP, INVITING READERS TO "LEARN HOW TO JOIN THE REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE". 

DO NOT HIT THAT AD.  DON'T DO IT. 
UNTIL THE CURRENT MESSIAH TOOK POWER, REPUBLICANS SPENT MORE THAN DEMOCRATS. 

DO NOT CLICK ON THAT AD. 
YOUR COMPUTER WILL GET VIRUSES AND YOU'LL BE SPAMMED THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. 
YOUR COMPUTER WILL BE REGISTERED IN A FEDERAL DATABASE OF PEDOPHILES. 

Plus, Republicans are not going to repeal Obamacare. 

I apologize for that offensive advertisement on this otherwise charming website.

The Truth will out....but sometimes too late

From The Daily Mail (U.K., of course):

Head of 'Climategate' research unit admits sending 'pretty awful emails' to hide data


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1254660/Climategate-professor-Phil-Jones-admits-sending-pretty-awful-emails.html#ixzz0h1gyCuX1


Scientists at the heart of the Climategate row were yesterday accused by a leading academic body of undermining science's credibility.

The Institute of Physics said 'worrying implications' had been raised after it was revealed the University of East Anglia had manipulated data on global warming....

....The Climategate row, which was first revealed by the Daily Mail in November, was triggered when a hacker stole hundreds of emails sent from East Anglia's Climatic Research Unit.

They revealed scientists plotting how to avoid responding to Freedom of Information requests from climate change sceptics.
Some even appeared to show the researchers discussing how to manipulate raw data from tree rings about historical temperatures.
In one, Professor Jones talks about using a 'trick' to massage figures and 'hide the decline'.

Also from The Daily Mail:

Baby girl survives after being shot in the chest in parents' 'global warming suicide pact'

A seven-month-old baby girl survived three days alone with a bullet in her chest beside the bodies of her parents and toddler brother.

Argentines Francisco Lotero, 56, and Miriam Coletti, 23, shot their children before killing themselves after making an apparent suicide pact over fears about global warming.

Their son Francisco, two, died instantly after being hit in the back.
But their unnamed daughter cheated death after the bullet from her dad's handgun missed her vital organs....

....Her parents said they feared the effects of global warming in a suicide note discovered by police.

This picture of Al Gore as Pinocchio came from here. 

Remember when the absence of snow was a sign of Global Warming?

Lest anyone forget....

It was only two or three years ago that the absence of snow in D.C. was a sign of global warming.
(This video begins with a statement from a former Community Organizer for the Ku Klux Klan. I don't have the technical know-how to delete his statements from the video. I apologize to my more sensitive readers.)



Snowing, not snowing, Cooling, not cooling, Warming, not warming - there is only one constant. Give them more control and more money.  They are the only ones who can save you.

Enjoy.

The Y2.1K Crisis

Remember the hoopla about Y2K?
Remember the panic?
Well, have you done anything, anything at all to prepare your family for the Y2.1K crisis?

I have no idea what form it will take, or what the problem will be. But when it hits?
For a few glorious moments, I'm going to be the #1 Google search result for it.

Y2.1K - Hysteria, panic, and another reason for a massive government intervention.
You heard it here first.


Cool Myspace Generators

JUST 94 MONTHS UNTIL THE CLIMATE TIPS ! ! !

Check this out: A countdown clock that shows how many months we have before passing the "climate's" tipping point.

Note that they didn't say the Global Warming tipping point, or the Global Cooling tipping point.

It's just a countdown to the "climate's" tipping point, which, in spite of serious competition, is the most ignorant-assed statement I've ever seen gullible organizations sponsor (see list at the bottom of the clock page).

It started at 100 months, and now it's down to just 94.

PANIC ! PANIC ! PANIC ! THE CLIMATE IS GOING TO TIP ! ! THROW AWAY YOUR MONEY ! ! RUN NEKKID IN THE STREETS ! ! VOTE FOR ANTI-CLIMATE TIPPERS IN 2010 ! ! !

It's too bad they don't post the HTML for the clock, otherwise I'd have it in the sidebar with appropriate doomsday verbiage.

Here's The Devil's Kitchen on the topic of Climate Tipping, the motivations of Climate Tipping alarmists, and such like. Pleae, please, please hit that Devil's Kitchen link. It's glorious.

Dr. James Hansen, high priest of Anthropogenic Global Warming, comes in for well-deserved abuse in Satan's Snackbar. What most people don't understand is that Dr. Hansen isn't going to get any money to study AGW unless he can convince people that AGW exists.

(Anthropogenic Global Warming is the belief that we change the weather with our actions. It's very similar to the Pat Robertson/Jerry Falwell belief system that homosexuality causes hurricanes to hit New Orleans.)

Thanks again to NickM with the Cat Counters for telling the world about THE DAY THE CLIMATE TIPS ! ! !

Harnessing Hysteria

I'm on vacation this week, so I've asked some of my favorite people/bloggers/typists to fill in for me while I'm away. Today you get to hear from my friend John, who blogs at the The Browncoat Libertarian. John and I are going to be working together on the Texas State Libertarian Executive Committee in 2009. He can be found most Thursday nights at Pop's Safari bar in Fort Worth. Here's John:

I believe I've found a key driving force to the future success of the Libertarian Party. But first, a word from our sponsor.

I love cigars. Not in that destructive Sigmund Freud twenty-a-day way...I enjoy maybe 2-7 cigars per week, depending on how many trips to Pop's Safari Room I make in a week. So despite the fact that I "technically" smoke, I do not consider myself a "Smoker". I'm a "small-s" smoker. Why? I do not require smoking breaks at work. I do not feel the need to fire up a cigar after every meal. I never have cigar or tobacco "cravings". And those are just three of the well known "Seven Habits of Highly Effective Smokers(tm)", none of which, I possess.

Why am I polluting Whited Sepulchre Blogspace with my disgusting, nicotine stained words? Because you should know that the "Second-Hand Smoke Hysteria" mentioned in the following guest blog comes not from a nicotine-crazed addict, but from a liberty-crazed freedom-addict who respects the rights and liberties of nicotine-crazed addicts everywhere.

And now, back to our regularly schedule rant.

Yes, devoted readers of The Whited Sepulchre, I know exactly what the Libertarian Party needs in order to thrive in this here century: Harness the power of hysteria! Hysteria is working miracles for the self-righteous Knights of Second-Hand Smoke. Soon, every molecule of airborne nicotine shall be vanquished from the DFW Metroplex, and quite possibly the state of Texas.

Yes, rumor has it that our dedicated Protectors From All Things Harmful, i.e. The Fort Worth City Council, and the Texas State Legislature are up to their smoking ban shenanigans once again. And they will likely succeed. It appears they will eventually succeed in protecting helpless non-smokers from unwittingly inhaling the foul second-hand smoke emitted from cigar bars and tobacco stores. What would these poor souls do without the Nanny-State to protect them? Personal liberty falls again as hysteria prevails.

Apparently, hysteria sells. Look what the power of hysteria is doing for Wall St., Fannie Mae, Freddy Mac, AIG, and soon, you can bet your stick-shift, The Detroit Big Three. One TRILLION plus! Economic liberty slips further away as hysteria prevails.

If only the Libertarian Party could find a way to harness the power of hysteria and get people hysterical about liberty...or more specifically, the erosion of liberty.

Harnessing Hysteria: we should look into it...or else.


***********************
John, thanks for filling in. Thought provoking as usual. By the time this is posted, I'll be in Cozumel, buying multiple fistloads of Havanas to smuggle back into the U.S. If you get a chance, write something about the insanity of continuing the trade embargo with Cuba. If Cubans had access to American products, someone woulda shot Castro by now.

Global Warming, Global Cooling, Global Dimming, and now....

Have you ever eaten a huge platter of Mexican food for lunch, gone home and taken a nap, and as long as you were undisturbed, there were no "inappropriate" side-effects?

Planet earth supposedly did that prior to the last ice age. Sat down and had the bean burritos, the refried beans, and the 3-bean salad, all washed down with Coronas. Then earth curled up and went to sleep for about 800 years.

According to Slate.com our planet is now awakening from its wintertime digestive slumber. Our friend Mr. Earth is now lying in bed, wondering if he can release some digestive pressure, but keep it contained within the bedsheets and not disturb Mrs. Earth. Or maybe it would be better to just get up and trot down the hall to the restroom? Either way, the consequences could be disastrous for humanity.

If earth asks you to pull its finger? Don't do it.

The picture of "Methane Ice" came from here.

Harper's Magazine, February 2008, An Annotation Free Environment

About a month ago, I posted something about the advertisements in Harper's magazine. I called it "Saving The Earth By Selling Cars". I had noticed that the majority of the full page ads had a Green theme, and stated that "If Harper's readers want to support the environment and Toyota at the same time, there's only one way they can do so: Buy a Toyota, park it someplace, and throw away the keys." Lower emissions be damned.

My point was that the ads were centered around the theme of Liberal Guilt. Guilt over emissions. Guilt over consumption. Guilt for even existing in a space that could otherwise be occupied by The Mississippi Delta Doodoo Dingo, or other unlikely critters.

I thought it was freakin' brilliant.

Unfortunately, I made the mistake of praising a few things in that issue of Harper's. I've always enjoyed the "Annotations" section of the magazine, in which they take a press release, a campaign brochure, a map, or anything other printed media, and explain every aspect of it. This is usually done with a critial eye. When I visit Border's or B&N, I always read the Annotation section of Harpers even when I'm not going to buy the magazine.
Well, I screwed up when I linked to the Meredith Broussard annotation of a peanut allergies pamphlet, where Broussard takes aim at what can only be called an allergy hysteria, and declares that most of it is baloney.

Every word that I wrote about Saving The Earth By Selling Cars was ignored. People were Googling "Peanut Allergy", "Food Allergy", "Harper's", "Meredith Broussard", and "Peanut Allergy Denial" (as in Holocaust Denial, fer heaven's sake....) and arriving here. At least a couple of hundred of them, which by humble Whited Sepulchre standards is like filling a Mexico City Soccer Stadium.
Only two visitors left comments. They were not happy that I was praising Ms. Broussard or anything else about Harpers. (For those with a morbid curiosity, you can read "Reason" magazine's explanation of why we didn't have this panic 30 years ago. Follow the money.)

If someone merely linking to Meredith Broussard gets hit with a Blogalanche, what must the Harper's mailbox look like? I made a mental note to check the letters section, and to see what they would Annotate in the next issue. Would the Annotators prevail, and continue throwing stink bombs into another Temple of Panic? Or would they wimp out and attack George Bush or some other "safe" Republican target?

It was with joyful anticipation that I picked up the February 2008 issue of Harper's.

There is no Annotations section in the February 2008 issue of Harper's.

Coincidence? I think not.

Oh well. I'll annotate this month's ads in a later post.

P.S. - In the words of comedian Chris Rock, "We got so much food in America, we're allergic to food. Allergic to food! Hungry people ain't allergic to s**t. You think anyone in Rwanda's got a f***in' lactose intolerance?!"

Another P.S. - Mama, I apologize for including the Chris Rock profanity. But he's very funny, and Daddy would've loved him.