How to teach Creationism

Some guys named Jimmy Hobbs and Joel Fanti are enjoying their 15 minutes of fame after a Wilmington, North Carolina area school board meeting:

The Brunswick County school board is looking for a way for creationism to be taught in the classroom side by side with evolution.

by Ana Ribeiro

"It's really a disgrace for the state school board to impose evolution on our students without teaching creationism," county school board member Jimmy Hobbs said at Tuesday's meeting. "The law says we can't have Bibles in schools, but we can have evolution, of the atheists."

This makes me so insane on so many levels. Evolution is no more atheistic than linguistics and optics are atheistic. It's like saying that gravity is libertarian, or that death is illiterate.

Evolution is an explanation of how species have changed and developed through a process that took millions of years. Unless God chooses to reveal himself/herself, it's the only explanation out there.


I've been in and out of churches that had varying degrees of loyalty to the Biblical stories most of my life. I've taught the stories to kids - in some of the least dogmatic ways possible - as narratives about what life might mean.
But they aren't science !
You can go to seminaries (as I did briefly) and learn that they didn't happen ! They are metaphorical, not factual.
Here's more Ana Robeiro:

When asked by a reporter, his fellow board members all said they were in favor of creationism being taught in the classroom.

Oh, for the love of God. All of them said that? The whole school board?

The topic came up after county resident Joel Fanti told the board he thought it was unfair for evolution to be taught as fact, saying it should be taught as a theory because there's no tangible proof it's true.
"I wasn't here 2 million years ago," Fanti said. "If evolution is so slow, why don't we see anything evolving now?"

Please, please, please let that be a typo. "If evolution is so slow, why don't we see anything evolving now?" Joel, you don't see anything evolving because it IS so slow.

The board allowed Fanti to speak longer than he was allowed, and at the end of his speech he volunteered to teach creationism and received applause from the audience. When he walked away, school board Chairwoman Shirley Babson took the podium and said another state had tried to teach evolution and creationism together and failed, and that the school system must teach by the law.

If Mr. Fanti or Ms. Babson need help teaching creationism, let me propose the following lesson plan:

Give the class a copy of Genesis, Chapter 1, and Chapter 2, verses 1-3, along with the following outline:

Genesis 1:1-5 God said "Let there be light"
Genesis 1:6-8 God then created the Firmament, or "layers of sky" (as it was then understood) Genesis 1:9-13 Next, God made land, water, trees and plants
Genesis 1:14-19 God then made the sun, moon, and stars (disregard that he created "light" in verse one)
Genesis 1: 20-23 Fish and birds are created
Genesis 1:24-31 God made cattle, creeping things, and finally, man.

Discuss the writing style. The students will probably agree that the author of Genesis chapter one is giving a dry, somewhat bland account of God's actions at the beginning of time.

Discuss the lack of original manuscripts for the book of Genesis.

Discuss the difficulty of translating unpunctuated Hebrew.

Discuss the order in which God created life on earth: light, sky, land, water, plants, sun, moon, and stars, fish, birds, cattle and other wildlife, and man. Write this sequence on the blackboard or dry erase board as a timeline.

Ask a volunteer to read the first three verses of Genesis 2:1-3 to the class.

1 Thus the heavens and the earth were completed in all their vast array.
2 By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work.
3 And God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.

Ask the students if they understand this to be the creationist explanation for the origins of all life and all species. Ask if they know the meaning of the word "infallible". Ask if "infallibility" could apply to this narrative. Discuss at great length. Be gentle.

Distribute the text of Genesis 2:4-9.

4 This is the account of the heavens and the earth when they were created. When the LORD God made the earth and the heavens-
5 and no shrub of the field had yet appeared on the earth and no plant of the field had yet sprung up, for the LORD God had not sent rain on the earth and there was no man to work the ground,
6 but streams came up from the earth and watered the whole surface of the ground,
7 the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.
8 Now the LORD God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed.
9 And the LORD God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground—trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food. In the middle of the garden were the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
10 A river watering the garden flowed from Eden; from there it was separated into four headwaters.
11 The name of the first is the Pishon; it winds through the entire land of Havilah, where there is gold.
12 (The gold of that land is good; aromatic resin and onyx are also there.)
13 The name of the second river is the Gihon; it winds through the entire land of Cush.
14 The name of the third river is the Tigris; it runs along the east side of Asshur. And the fourth river is the Euphrates.
15 The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.
16 And the LORD God commanded the man, "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; 17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die."
18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
19 Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name.
20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found.
21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh.
22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

Ask the class if Genesis chapter 2 seems to offer a contradictory account from chapter 1.

Discuss the writing style. Ask which story uses more emotion.

Ask why chapter one, in this translation, consistently uses the word "God", and chapter two always uses the phrase "the LORD God".

Explain that the original Hebrew word for God used in chapter one is "Elohim", while chapter two uses the word "Yahweh". Ask if the writers were talking about the same Deity. Ask one of the music geeks in the class to give the current definition of the word "mashup".

Mention the differences in writing style between, say, Shakespeare and Snoop Dogg. Ask what makes their writing distinctive and recognizable. Then ask the class if they think the first Genesis story and the second Genesis story were written by the same person. Be gentle.

Return to your blackboard timeline from Genesis chapter 1. Create a second timeline based on the account in Genesis chapter 2. Note the contradictions. Once again, be gentle.

Homework assignment: Ask the students to write a 250 word essay about which timeline is more convincing. Give 5 extra points for the correct use of the word "infallible" in each essay.

When grading, be very gentle. You are planting a seed. It will grow.

End of lesson plan.

Mr. Hobbs and Mr. Fanti, are you sure that you want North Carolina's biology professors to teach creationism? Or do you think that the Bible should be taught in churches, and science should be taught in schools?

Have you paid off your Subprime Mortgages?

Subprime Mortgage.
Subprime Mortgages.
The Subprime Mortage crisis.

That's one of those politically correct phrases that adds a scent of respectability to gambling. The phrase "loaning your savings and insurance money to unqualified people at higher interest rates for houses they can't afford" just seems too harsh.
What would happen if the print, TV, radio, and online journalists started referencing the "Government guaranteed loans to shiftworkers so they can buy McMansions" crisis?
Would that change our perception of the current problems?
Would we be less charitable about the ongoing bailout?

I admit that I can barely allocate my 401K funds properly, but here's the problem as I understand it:

Joe Bob wanted a McMansion. He couldn't afford a McMansion. But we were in the middle of a housing bubble, where prices were doubling every 6 years. Plus, the bank was going to charge him higher Mafia-style interest rates. Prices were going up so fast that if Joe Bob couldn't make the payments the bank would still own a house that was worth far more than its value when Joe Bob moved into it. They could always find someone else to sell it to.

Then everyone woke up and realized that there were too many McMansions on the market, and they weren't worth the asking price. Oops.

I have a lawyer friend in Mississippi who recently got into trouble for falsifying documents on subprime mortage deals - it didn't matter if Joe Bob had never held a job for more than 3 months. It didn't matter if his only job was pulling Curly Fries out of the grease when the timer went off. My lawyer buddy would fix the paperwork so that Joe Bob's employment record could at least fit the "subprime" standard for a Mississippi McMansion Mortgage. When the loan invariably went into default, my friend had his sales commission, Joe Bob had partied his ass off in a new house for 6 months, and the bank was stuck with a devalued house in Crotch Rot, Mississippi.

Because of this scam, my friend has lost his license to practice law, and he's lost his real estate broker's licence. He's now avoiding prison by playing Hannibal Lecter to the FBI's Clarice Starling. Agent Starling comes to his house a couple of times a week with files from mortgages gone bad. My buddy, after putting Miggs in the back yard and offering Agent Starling some Fava Beans and a nice Chianti, looks through the mortgage files and tells Clarice whether they were legit subprime loans or fraudulent subprime loans.

At the time when my friend got into trouble, the bank was responsible for the legitimate loans that went bad, and criminals were responsible for repaying the fraudulent ones.

As of this week, you're responsible for all of them.

And you're still going to keep voting for Democrats and Republicans, aren't you?

The Democrats and Republicans forgot to file to be on the ballot !

This could get interesting.
The Mommy Party (D) and The Daddy Party (R) both failed to do their filings on time with the elections commission in Texas.
Therefore, their presidential candidates have no right to be on the Texas ballot in November.
Libertarian presidential candidate Bob Barr has filed a lawsuit to hold the Bipartisans to the strict letter of the law. For decades, in the name of preserving power for themselves, the Democrats and Republicans have held all 2nd Parties to an incredibly strict ballot access standard. Turnabout is fair play, don't you think?

I remember High School Civics class discussions about the difference between democracies and totalitarian governments. We were taught that Cuba, China, and The Soviet Union had elections, but that only members of the ruling party had access to the ballot, a situation that made a farce out of the elections.

Can anyone see any real difference between those scenarios and the current situation with Republicans and Democrats locking up access to debates and ballots? Heck, it's probably easier for a renegade to get on the ballot in China than it is in the U.S.

Check out this link to the discussion on Samizdata. I hope you'll pay particular attention to the comments. Many U.S. voters - Obama supporters - are hoping that Barr is successful, since McCain is otherwise likely to win in Texas.

Do you have any idea why the Democrats won't go along with Barr and his lawsuit? Not now, not ever, not in a million years, even if it means Texas goes Republican?

It's because they're the other half of the Republicans. It's like a tag team wrestling match. The Mommy Party (D) gets to be in the ring until their shtick grows tiresome. Then they're sent to the corner and the Daddy Party (R) goes in for a while.

They don't want anyone from the crowd jumping into the arena. God knows what goodies and freebies could be taken away from them if that were to happen.

Think about it. This is a golden opportunity for the Democrats to neutralize 34 Republican electoral votes from Texas! The law is on their side! The law is on Bob Barr's side. 34 ELECTORAL VOTES ! ! !

The Democrats will never support him in this lawsuit. Yin will attack Yang, and Heads will attack Tails before anything like that happens.

The Democrats and Republicans, especially after the stunts they've pulled during this shameful week, can no longer be considered opponents. They are partners.

Go Bob Barr.

Donkelephant pic from The Indiana University Alumni Association, of all places....

A moment of silence, please....

Please take a break from your normal activities to mourn the absence of The Dreaded Fembuttx from our lives.
She has been an unrestrained Serial Commenter on these pages from the beginning. For examples of her handiwork, check out my two previous posts. Banish small children from the room.
She is the only Caption Contest competitor to ever be banished to the next league.
She is leaving my employer to work in the Customer Service department of another company, one that manufactures Ventilation Hoods for kitchens.

Considering her skills at Blowing Smoke, she should do well there.

NEWS FLASH ! SARAH PALIN HAS A TANNING BOOTH !

Sarah Palin had a tanning bed installed in the Alaska Governor's mansion ! ! !

She paid for it with her own money ! ! !

What does it all mean ?

Why are we learning this?

Why does ABC News think anyone cares?

LIPSTICK ! PIGS ! REVEREND WRIGHT ! MICHELLE HASN'T BEEN PROUD OF AMERICA ! FLAG PINS ! MUSLIMS ! PREGNANCIES ! DOWNS SYNDROME ! CHARLIE GIBSON ! SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE ! FIRST DUDE ! MCCAIN CAN'T EMAIL ! ARUGULA ! BARRACUDA !

Instead of:

NATIONAL DEBT ! MILITARY BASES OVERSEAS ! SOCIAL SECURITY IS BANKRUPT ! LETS FIND MORE WAYS TO COVER WALL STREET'S GAMBLING LOSSES ! LET'S DO SOMETHING IN IRAQ THAT MAKES SENSE ! INSANE DRUG LAWS ! CROP SUBSIDIES FOR MILLIONAIRES ! IMPORT QUOTAS AND TARIFFS ! GOVERNMENT SPENDING ! WILLIAM AYERS ! THE KEATING FIVE ! TONY REZKO ! MCCAIN-FEINGOLD !

NO, LET'S TALK SARAH PALIN'S FREAKIN' TANNING BOOTH.

I promise you that by this weekend, more Americans will know about The Barracuda Tanning Booth than know about her position on reforming Social Security.

Ok, back to all capital letters:

MCCAIN HAS SEVEN HOUSES ! 5 MILLION DOLLARS IS RICH ! GUNS AND RELIGION ! OBAMA WAS BORN IN HAWAII AND LIVED IN INDONESIA ! TRINITY CHURCH ! A GREEK TEMPLE IN MILE HIGH STADIUM ! HOCKEY MOMS ! PIT BULLS ! A CROSS IN THE DIRT AT THE HANOI HILTON ! SYMBOLS ! METAPHORS ! TALKING POINTS ! SYMBOLS ! SYMBOLS ! SYMBOLS !

i might move to Australia.

update from 12:07 a.m., after surfing the net for about ten minutes....

MOOSE HUNTING ! MOOSE HUNTING ! MOOSE HUNTING !

The "Change" Candidate

It's time to pay your bar tab, sir....

Ever go out with a bunch of friends, set up a bar tab on your credit card, eat and drink for hours, only to have a few of your "friends" excuse themselves to go to the restroom and then leave the premises when it came time to pay the tab?

No? Well, look again.

If you're a U.S. citizen, some people from Bear Stearns recently came to your table and ordered appetizers, multiple entrees, enough drinks to float a small fishing boat, and some desserts for the group in the next booth. They lived like kings.

A few minutes before closing time, they excused themselves and ran for the parking lot. There you sat, wondering how to to explain all those credit card charges to The Little Woman Back Home.

Then, to add insult to injury, a husband and wife named Fannie and Freddie sat down with you the next night, ordered everything "to go", left the table to make some phone calls, and were never seen again. They apparently took their food with them. You're even more concerned this time, because you already talked some of your Chinese buddies into co-signing for this particular credit card.

Your Chinese buddies aren't very happy, and they're thinking of swinging by your house to pick up the dinette set you used as collateral.

You see, this is all fair. Fannie and Freddie have known all along that no matter how much debt they get into, or how many bad decisions they make, you're going to be there for them.

Here's where it gets really interesting. You are going to go out to yet another bar tonight. Yes, tonight. And this bar has it all ! ! ! The Lehman Brothers (see the excellent Michael Lewis book "The Money Culture" for tales of LB excess) are going to sit down at your table. They're going to ask if you're running a bar tab. You, like an idiot, are going to affirm that you're running a tab. Your credit card is there behind the cash register for The Lehman Brothers to see.

The Lehman Brothers are going to order food, drinks, birthday cakes, and promise the waiters very generous tips. They're going to bring in strippers from next door and purchase lap dances.

They're going to leave you with the bill. This is going to happen. And you're going to bend over and take it.

Because they can't be allowed to fail. You can, but they can't. They are the ones who have been making campaign contributions to their buddies in high places. All along there has been the unspoken promise that they can always put their expenses, their mistakes, and their bills on your bar tab.

It's a concept called "Privatize the profit; Socialize the risk".

Why aren't people rioting in the streets? Because we know the government will eventually print more money to pay for all this? Because the transactions are too complicated for us to understand? Because we're the ones who've been voting for Republicans and Democrats all these years?

Or perhaps it's because we're a nation of sheep.

John Shelby Spong's 12 Theses

John Shelby Spong, the former Anglican/Episcopalian bishop of Newark, New Jersey, created one of his signature whirlwinds ten years ago by proposing the following "12 Theses".

Modeled on the 99 Theses that Martin Luther nailed to the Wittenburg door in 1517, Spong claims to have written these in the most provocative language possible in order to provoke internet debate. Here's just one link to some of the many responses he provoked. (I apologize ahead of time for the blaring background on that site....)
Spong has been accused of atheism and heresy, but his critics have difficulty attacking his arguments. They usually end up attacking the implications of his arguments.

Here are Bishop Spong's 12 articles for debate. All italics are mine.

1. Theism, as a way of defining God, is dead. So most theological God-talk is today meaningless. A new way to speak of God must be found. In other words, it makes no sense to speak of God in terms of a personality with likes and dislikes.

2. Since God can no longer be conceived in theistic terms, it becomes nonsensical to seek to understand Jesus as the incarnation of the theistic deity. So the Christology of the ages is bankrupt. Once you come to terms with the idea that God doesn't intervene, you're probably going to look into when the concept of the Trinity came into being. The answer is somewhere around 300 A.D., and it remained vague until 451 A.D.

3. The biblical story of the perfect and finished creation from which human beings fell into sin is pre-Darwinian mythology and post-Darwinian nonsense. Yeah, it's mythology, and it's nonsense, but most cultures have a creation story. These stories were useful devices for the patriarchy to blame women for the ills of the age - whether the story is of Eve and the apple, or Pandora opening a box and allowing sin and evil into the world.


4. The virgin birth, understood as literal biology, makes Christ's divinity, as traditionally understood, impossible. If you accept the idea that God does intervene, I guess that it's possible. However, virgin birth stories were already in place long before the birth of Christ. Only two of the four gospels mention a virgin birth, and the apostle Paul acts like he never heard of it. Plus, the idea that it's the fulfillment of a prophecy is on very shaky linguistic ground. Most evidence points to the virgin birth as a late arrival in the Jesus story.


5. The miracle stories of the New Testament can no longer be interpreted in a post-Newtonian world as supernatural events performed by an incarnate deity. When you think about it, they do seem kind of random. Plus, after an astonishing number of his miracles, Jesus instructs bystanders to tell no one about the miracle. 40 years from now, people could write stories about Bill Clinton healing people in Rosebud, Arkansas. You don't remember Bill Clinton healing anyone in Arkansas? Of course you don't. He told us not to tell anyone about it.


6. The view of the cross as the sacrifice for the sins of the world is a barbarian idea based on primitive concepts of God and must be dismissed. Yeah, if I've offended you in some way, I can't make up for it by going into the back yard and slaughtering a few dachshunds. The substitutionary atonement idea doesn't hold up very well in the 21st century.

7. Resurrection is an action of God. Jesus was raised into the meaning of God. It therefore cannot be a physical resuscitation occurring inside human history. How can we know that Lazarus wasn't physically resurrected and that Jesus wasn't physically resurrected? The same way we know that a talking snake didn't trick Eve into eating an apple. It just doesn't happen. Perhaps I'm oversimplifying Bishop Spong's statement here....

8. The story of the Ascension assumed a three-tiered universe and is therefore not capable of being translated into the concepts of a post-Copernican space age. We can look everywhere for heaven (and hell), but never find either of them.

9. There is no external, objective, revealed standard writ in scripture or on tablets of stone that will govern our ethical behavior for all time. By the time Jesus was born, parts of the Old Testament were already seen as barbaric, a pain in the rear to deal with, or a control mechanism. If Jesus (with Paul's help) hadn't found a way to circumvent them, someone else probably would have done so.
Many conservative theologians call these different time periods "dispensations", and argue that God has interacted with man at different times in different ways. They say that the Old Testament era was one dispensation under one set of God's rules, and the New Testament was another dispensation. Spong argues that we simply outgrow our theologies, and they need replacing just like we continually replace outdated scientific beliefs.

10. Prayer cannot be a request made to a theistic deity to act in human history in a particular way. Well, it can be, but nothing comes of it. I can't conceive of an all-powerful God who would respond to a pre-game prayer for the health of football players, but who would not intervene to prevent the death of a child.

11. The hope for life after death must be separated forever from the behavior control mentality of reward and punishment. The Church must abandon, therefore, its reliance on guilt as a motivator of behavior. Plus, the eternal reward/eternal punishment concept was a fairly recent development in the Jewish worldview. Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob never heard of it. The idea that God will allow an eternal punishment puts him in a far worse league than Hitler, Stalin, Mao, or whoever was responsible for Abu Ghraib.

12. All human beings bear God's image and must be respected for what each person is. Therefore, no external description of one's being, whether based on race, ethnicity, gender or sexual orientation, can properly be used as the basis for either rejection or discrimination. The Jews aren't God's chosen people, the Germans aren't the Master Race, China isn't halfway between earth and heaven, Men aren't necessarily superior to women, heterosexuality is no more normal than right-handedness, and God didn't curse the African race by turning one of Noah's sons black. End of story.

Some friends of mine lost a child to Leukemia this morning. I'm at a loss for something meaningful to say to them. Maybe that's why I'm seriously digging into John Spong again.
I wish I could tell my friends that their daughter's gone to be with God, or that there's a higher purpose involved here, or that this is all part of a plan.
The theology of my childhood seems like a random collection of superstitions and dogmas, and doesn't do me much good any longer.

I believe that someone named Jesus lived, taught, and died, and that he was probably killed for standing up to the religious system of his day.
I'm sorry, but I refuse to believe that any God wanted, or even allowed, Jesus to die.

I don't believe that the being known as "God" wanted my friend's daughter to die. I can't go there.

It's time for a new way of looking at the world.
The old one doesn't work any more.

Barack Obama is Michael Jackson. Sarah Palin is Prince.

Real Clear Politics has long been my favorite political editorial and blog aggregator. They bring in a good mix of Left, Right, and Center points of view, and they post any new polling info as soon as it's released.

This morning's offerings were centered around Obama "The First Rock Star" candidate getting knocked off his pedestal by Sarah Palin "The First Hockey Mom" V.P. candidate. She was in beauty pageants ! She can field dress a moose ! Pigs ! Lipstick ! A new bright and shiny object has entered our field of vision and with our current ADD symptoms, we can't help but look and be fascinated ! !

McCain is now leading Obama in the polls because of Sarah ! Sarah ! Sarah !!!!!!!

The first time I saw this happen, or at least the first time I saw it happen when I could understand it, was around 1982 or 83 when I was doing my student teaching at a middle school in the Mississippi Delta. I was also hearing about Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson, The Moonwalk, Michael Jackson, his videos, and Michael Jackson. Kids came to school dressed like Michael Jackson. Teachers cursed the name of Michael Jackson.

The hype machine had turned him into the greatest human who had ever lived. It went on and on.

And then came Prince. Prince Rogers Nelson of Minneapolis. "Tonight We're Gonna Party Like It's 1999." I forget the other songs, but they were good. It only took three days for a paradigm shift to occur at Margaret Wade Middle School in Cleveland Mississippi.

All of a sudden, Michael Jackson was this weird dude addicted to plastic surgery. No one could remember seeing him with a girlfriend for very long. There were serious hallway and lunchroom discussions about whether Prince could kick Michael Jackson's ass (like, in a wrestling arena, not just on the music charts.) It was sad.

One 8th grader summed up the situation for me. It's been 25 years, and I still remember it perfectly. She said "You don't get tired of Prince songs the way you get tired of Michael Jackson's songs."

I didn't point out to her that she'd been playing Michael Jackson non-stop and speaking his name without ceasing for the previous nine months. Heck, I like Bob Dylan's music, but if I were to listen to him, and only him, for nine months without a break? "Barry Manilow's Greatest Hits - Volume 3" might have a strange new appeal.

The uncommitted middle of America has gone to the McCain/Palin distraction in much the same way.

Now I'm waiting to see what stunt the Democrat wing of The Bipartisan Party (R, D,) creates to restore Obama's momentum. (Maybe Palin will screw up and change her name to a pseudo-Egyptian symbol that means "The Governor Formerly Known As Palin".)

The only one I can think of would be for tired old Joe Biden, who we've been listening to for 30 years, to resign. Obama could replace him with She Whose Name Is Not Spoken.

In the meantime, think of Obama as Michael Jackson and Sarah Palin as Prince. The analogy holds up well.

I just discovered something funny. I was going to find and post a Youtube video of Prince doing "1999". But Prince has had all of his videos removed from Youtube. Could it be that he understands the dangers of overexposure? There's something to be said for the old show biz adage "Leave 'em wanting more". Michael Jackson and maybe Barack Obama have failed to do just that.

Pray for the continued health of Kim John-Il

Kim Jong-Il, North Korean dictator, love child of Elvis Presley and Lyle Lovett, and star of one of my all time favorite movies "Team America - World Police".... may have achieved room temperature by now. We need to remember The Dear Leader and his family in our prayers.

Yes, it might be time to put a morgue tag on his toe. We just don't know. A secretive bunch, those North Koreans.

There was a big parade Tuesday, and Kim missed it. This is unusual, since the man does love to review his parades, and his absence was enough to start the rumors. No one in the west has any idea what will happen to North Korea if the rumors of The Dear Leader's dirt nap are true. The country has had no clear succession plan in place ever since Kim's son - Kim Jong Nam - recently disgraced the family name by trying to sneak into Japan with a forged passport.

It was the only way he was ever going to see Tokyo Disneyland.

(Some people think I make this stuff up. That really is what happened. I promise. He wanted to go to Disneyland.)

The larger reason for our prayerful concern involves the rest of the planet. Since splitting from Democratic/Capitalist South Korea sixty years ago, North Korea has dealt with continual famine and malnutrition. South Korea, of course, has embraced the Free Market and is now a major player in the world economy.

Check out this photograph showing South Korea and North Korea at night:

Look at the lights in South Korea, as compared to the blessings of darkness in their northern socialist neighbor. Can you believe the utter selfishness of South Korea? Do they have any idea what a carbon footprint like that is doing to our world temperatures ????

Almost all North Korean industry and manufacturing enterprises are owned and tightly controlled by the government of Kim Jong-Il. North Korea's low carbon footprint per citizen is rivaled only by that of certain African nations. Who knows what could happen to the North Korean economy if Kim really has joined Mao and Marx in the next plane of existence?

Therefore, I ask that you all pray for The Dear Leader's continued health. It's not just for North Korea. It's for the planet.

Pictures from here and here and here.

Don't you hate it when people won't follow the script?

Here's former Democratic Presidential wannabe (and borderline libertarian) Mike Gravel, answering questions on Sarah Palin, being a mayor, Troopergate, and....gasp....who should be blamed for the Iraq war. Gravel also flirted with the Libertarian nomination this year but couldn't get any traction.

This is from a left-wing radio outlet called Pacifica. The last two minutes of this interview are priceless. Priceless. Remember, Gravel represented the Democrats in the Senate for two terms.

Wouldn't the world be more interesting if all of our politicians could say what they really thought?



A Bob Barr/Mike Gravel Libertarian ticket might be doing better than the current Barr/Wayne Root offering. Oh well.

Barack Obama's Accomplishments

Barack Obama's Accomplishments In The U.S. Senate

Barack Obama's Accomplishments In The Illinois State Senate

Barack Obama's Accomplishments As A Law Professor

Barack Obama's Accomplishments As A Community Organizer

Barack Obama's Accomplishments As President Of The Harvard Law Review

Lewis Gordon Pugh - unable to kayak to Santa's workshop

Around the beginning of the summer, an explorer named Lewis Gordon Pugh announced that he was going to paddle a kayak all the way to the North Pole. Pugh apparently believed that there would be little or no ice blocking his way.

The internet was jammed with posts about the Arctic being melted by September.

I made the offer of a $50 wager against anyone willing to put up $10 that this guy would have to turn around before reaching the North Pole. The great Dr. Ralph took me up on it.

Well, not only did the guy turn around before reaching Santa's workshop, the objective of the publicity stunt/journey changed. It began as a trip to the North Pole in a kayak to show that there wasn't any ice left. Unfortunately for Pugh, by the time the kayak left The Mother Ship it was obvious that the only way to get him and his kayak to the North Pole would be to hook them both to Balto the mighty sled dog and start saying "mush".

The purpose of the trip had to change, since it was obvious to everyone that there was a shitload of ice between Lewis Pugh and the North Pole.

Therefore, they turned it into something about posting the flags of every nation in the Arctic, to show how we all need the Arctic. Never mind that there wasn't room in the freakin' kayak for 192 flags, and the flags had to ride in the support boat. We're talking symbolism, not substance here.

Dr Ralph can drop an extra $10 in the offering plate at Broadway Baptist Church (all loose offerings go to the homeless), and we'll be even. (I'm tempted to ask him to contribute it to Sarah Palin, but he would probably implode. And if I were to lose a bet with him one day....I can't even think about it.)

Plus, Dr. Ralph only made the bet out of tribal loyalty.

In general, my gambling M.O. works like this: Find people who are illogically loyal to the home team, catch them in a weak moment, and make a statement against all that they consider holy. Then put it in the form of a wager. For instance, when dealing with a large gathering of Dallas Cowboys fanatics, state that the Cowboys are ok this year, but not good enough to beat Cleveland by 21 points. They will crawl all over each other to disagree. Present a wager. Wait. Collect money.

So now that I've laid it out for everyone, let's try another Global Warming Climate Change wager....

I think that the idea that we cause Climate Change is totally nuts. It happens with us or without us. There used to be farms all over Greenland, but the climate went through a cyclical change and now that entire area is covered with ice and snow. SUV's had nothing to do with it.

I think Al Gore is the greatest con artist of this century.

We keep getting Chicken Little alarms that the sky is falling, the seas are rising, the poles are melting, and they're not going to stop until Gore gets enough government funding and subsidies to get his alternative energy start-ups off the ground. Then he's going to work on requiring us to purchase whatever snake oil he's selling.

The Spectator has an article stating that:

The Northwest Passage has been a focal point for both environmentalists and shipping companies for years. The sea route along the North American coast has been blocked for hundreds of years by a pack of Arctic ice. But through climate change the pack is melting away and the waters may soon be available for maritime use in 2009. This new route could chop thousands of nautical miles off journeys from Europe to Asia.
But the melting of the ice pack shows worrying trends in global warming. The ice pack blocking the route has reached its smallest size since records began. The pack’s disappearance has been exacerbated by its melting rate speeding up during its usual cooling season. The event serves as a prescient reminder to politicians that climate change is an ever burning issue – credit crunch or no credit crunch.

Thanks to Chris at Counting Cats for bringing this article to my attention.

Note the need for speed in the last sentence of the article. Gore ain't getting any younger, and wants your money now.

So do I. I'll bet $50 against your $10 that the Northwest Passage isn't clear enough for ships by 2009.

Any takers?

Minimum Wages and Unemployment

Well, that didn't take long.
The minimum wage was increased, and unemployment jumped.

Here's cnn.com:

NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) -- The unemployment rate soared to a nearly five-year high in August as employers trimmed jobs for the eighth straight month, the government reported Friday.
The unemployment rate rose to 6.1%, the highest level since September 2003. That's up from 5.7% in July and 4.7% a year ago.

Here's Thewhitedsepulchre.com, from about a month ago:

The phrase "minimum wage law" contains an inherent contradiction. You can't raise the minimum wage. The minimum wage has always been zero, and it always will be zero. Wrap your head around the implications of that, and, as Jesus said, you're getting very close to the kingdom of God.

Here's some more CNN, quoting the current leaders of The Mommy Party (D) and The Daddy Party (R):

But the campaign of Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama said the report points out the failure of Republican policies.
"John McCain showed last night that he is intent on continuing the economic policies that just this year have caused the American economy to lose 605,000 jobs," Obama said in a statement. "John McCain's answer is more of the same: $200 billion in tax cuts to big corporations and oil companies, and not one dime of tax relief to more than 100 million middle-class families."
The McCain campaign argued that Obama's economic policies would cause more job losses in the future.

Here's some more whitedsepulchre.com, predicting that the mainstream media just won't get it:

A few months from now, start looking for bewildered print and online editorials about increased unemployment among teenagers and low-skilled minorities. The funniest ones will have no sense of irony, and will end with calls for our government to do something about the problem.

I hope you broke out in giggles while reading the CNN piece. Here's a group that sorta gets it, Loanspeed.com:

Some argue that a higher minimum wage leads to more unemployment. But with wages failing to keep up with inflation, some think more increases are needed.
Congress passed legislation last year that would raise the minimum wage in stages from $5.15 an hour to $7.25 in July 2009. (Several states already have minimum wages higher than that.)
“If labor becomes more expensive, employers will hire fewer workers,” notes a study from the National Center for Policy Analysis, a research firm based in Dallas.
And this appears to be playing out with teenage workers. The unemployment rate for teens this August was 18.9%, up from 16.2% a year ago. Admittedly, teens make up a small percentage of the overall work force - a little more than 4%. But some think higher wages limit any job rebound, especially in a struggling economy.

They're confusing the issue a bit by throwing in the inflation factor. Inflation is an increase in the money supply. If the Fed chose to let us in on how much new money they're throwing into the system? We could predict inflation with near Godlike accuracy. Then we would make them stop throwing new money into the system.

Here's a link to some folks that get it. Mean Ol' Meany says that:

Just this morning, I heard the talking heads screeching about the "unexpected" increase in unemployment at the end of July.
That increase was only unexpected to morons.
Lemme 'splain.
History or past performance is a good indicator of future results or future performance.
What does that mean?
Well, if you undertook an action fifty times in the past, and every single time you did that the same result occurred afterwards, that would tell you that those two indicators were probably tied together.
"You know, every single time that I go bobbing for french fries, I burn my face. What gives?"
"Uh, Homer, you keep dunking your head in a fry vat full of 350 degree grease. Understand?"

I think these people, like me, have spent some time doing price quotes in a manufacturing environment.

Lord have mercy, what a mess. Look at it this way. If someone says that Coca Cola is going to cost $50.00 per bottle, you're going to purchase less Coca Cola. Lower the price to ten cents per bottle, and you'll probably purchase more.

But we can't improve the unemployment rate by eliminating the wage laws.

We're too compassionate.

Darwin's Dangerous Idea - too much for Texas

Laurie Barker James has written an article for Fort Worth Weekly entitled "Devolution In Education".
She outlines the attempts made by various religious and political groups to have Creationism and Intelligent Design taught in the Texas Public School System. Here's an excerpt:

The process of chipping away at the theory of evolution in Texas science curriculum actually began with Texas Proclamation 95 in the mid-1990s. Signed by then-Gov. George Bush, the proclamation requires basic biology textbooks to “formulate, discuss, critique, and review hypotheses, theories, laws, and principles, and their strengths and weaknesses.”
Opponents of the theory of evolution, who are variously called creationists, Young Earth believers, or anti-Neo-Darwinists, have laid the groundwork both nationally and in Texas over the past decade to turn the relatively simple task of curriculum development into a fight over the basic theory of how humans came to be. Whatever you call them, this group of mostly fundamentalist Christians believes in biblical inerrancy. In recent years, many of them have lined up behind the concept of “intelligent design,” which attempts to use scientific terminology to promote the idea that, as it says in Genesis, the world was created in six days. If the Bible is correct, the proponents say, the Earth is very young — less than 7,000 years old.

This, of course, is nuts.
Do a little research on the speed of light. Then figure out how far we are from some of the most remote stars. Figure out how long it has taken the light from those stars to reach our telescopes. You'll get a number that's greater than 7,000.
I remember watching some guys put in a new irrigation well on our farm in Mississippi. The routine they used was to drill down, then bring the auger back up, then drill a little deeper, and bring the auger back up. On the return trip from one of the deepest plunges, the auger came back with a chunk of a tree in it. Even within the flood plain of the Mississippi River, trees couldn't be buried under that much silt in just 7,000 years.
Look at the current height of The Rocky Mountains. Look at how much they are growing each year. (Not much, but they grow). Divide the height by the growth rate. Big number.
The Bible, in this case, isn't a document that should be seen as "right" or "wrong". The word "Truth" instead of the word "Fact" is more appropriate. Here's some more Laurie James:

The argument at the root of the issue is biblical inerrancy, a doctrine as old as the Christian church itself. Nicholas Copernicus and Galileo Galilei, early scientists and Christians, challenged the Catholic Church’s doctrine on the Earth as the center of the universe.
We can now demonstrate that the Earth moves around the sun, not vice versa. Back before the Protestant Reformation, however, even scientific evidence drew a penalty when it came into conflict with accepted interpretation of what the Judeo-Christian Bible (which had been translated from Hebrew to Aramaic to Greek and then Latin at that point) said. Perhaps it’s fittingly ironic that Charles Darwin, who proposed the theory of evolution in the mid-1800s, was first a ministry student before a voyage aboard the Beagle changed the course of his future. Now people of diverse faiths — clergy as well as laypeople — accept the theory of evolution and want to see it taught in schools.

Well, yeah, they do. But they're not very vocal about it.
Part of our problem is the lack of a hierarchy in many of our Protestant denominations. (You may have noticed that the Catholics are strangely silent on the evolution issue. They learned some things from the Galileo incident. If a priest were to start railing against Darwin, I think everyone higher up the food chain would tell him to shut up.) Anyone in the U.S.A. who cares to do so can start a church, and this isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's a very libertarian thing. But they can also claim to speak for God, and in defense of God. There's no one around to provide any historical context.
Why does God need defending? Who is attacking God?
The Godless Evolutionists, and they make a perfect enemy for fund-raising appeals.
God used to get credit for putting us at the center of creation, aiming the lightning, causing the earthquakes, and making us out of mud. Science has been explaining more and more of these phenomena.
But the Creationists don't understand the difference between Religion and Science, between Truth and Fact.
Elsewhere in the article, an acquaintance of mine tries to explain things:

Ralph Mecklenburger, the rabbi at Fort Worth’s Beth-El Congregation, has been paying attention to the debate about Texas’ science curriculum. As an expert in the Torah, or Old Testament, upon which the proponents of intelligent design base their theories, the rabbi is concerned with misinterpretation.
“Has evolution been demonstrated experimentally? Yes, many times,” he wrote in an e-mail. “Intelligent design, on the other hand, may be true, but until someone comes up with a way to test it, it will not be science.”
Many scientists echo Mecklenburger’s statement that, despite challenges, the theory of evolution has held up for more than a century. Those scientists and many teachers believe that intelligent design proponents ignore the proofs and use outdated information to hammer away at accepted science. Historically, Jews found the Bible to be “full of memorable ways to teach values, but we know it is not science,” Mecklenburger said. “We deny that science and religion conflict, but that is because we recognize that the Bible is about religion, not about science.”

Well said. (Rabbi Mecklenburger once came to Broadway Baptist Church and put together a combination Seder/Communion service. It was the first time in my life that I understood the context for what Jesus was trying to say. But I digress....)

Now that a Creationist has been nominated for the Vice Presidency, I'm betting that Evolution vs. Creationism will be an increasingly hot topic as we approach election day. In the meantime, enjoy this logo from an upcoming event at Texas CHRISTIAN University, 2008's TCU Family Weekend.....


I think it's now safe to say that Darwin's Dangerous Idea has gone mainstream everywhere but in the Texas Public School system.

Ron Paul's "Rally For The Republic" in Minneapolis.

Here's some video from Ron Paul's "Rally For The Republic", intentionally held in Minneapolis at the same time as The Daddy Party (R) convention.


Here's the text of a Lew Rockwell speech entitles "The Calamity of Bush's Conservatism", given at the same event.
And here's a Washington Post video from the libertarian event in Minneapolis. The main contrast between Dr. Paul's party and the one on the other side of town? The libertarian one appears to be sold out.

The New & Improved Tarrant County Libertarian Party Website

Back in March, I lamented the lack of activity on the Tarrant County Libertarian Party website.

John Spivey, the leader of the Tarrant County LP meetup group, emailed me. I started going to meetings, got involved, got to meet Bob Barr, and have made a lot of great friends.

Now they've given the website an extreme makeover. Save this link. Check it every week, unless you have a sentimental attachment to bloated bureaucracy and your share of the 9.5 trillion dollar national debt.

We're having another meetup at 1:00 p.m. September 6th at Grapevine's "Love And War In Texas". (L&W in TX is one of the best alt-country music venues in the DFW area, BTW.) Please join us if you can.

John and Company have done an outstanding job with the new Tarrant County Libertarian Party website. (Pay no attention to their page of Favorite Blogs....)

Vikings for Palin: 3 questions you should ask before voting

Shortly after nominating Sarah Palin (center) for Vice President, John McCain's support among the Viking community increased from a lackluster 38% to 62%.

Questions:

1) Was Palin's nomination a blatant attempt to woo disgruntled Democrats who are upset that Obama didn't nominate a Viking as his running mate?

2) Is this a blatant pander to Republicans who feel that McCain doesn't have the military skills to pull off our upcoming invasion of Sweden?

3) Or is this nomination an attempt to woo values voters who believe our nation was founded on the Norse principles of Thor and Odin?

Picture from here.

Happily Oblivious

As a service to our republic, and to the world....

There's a new libertarian blog called Happily Oblivious.

Go there. Those people make me look like Naomi Klein.

I get a feeling they're going to be heard from.

The Theological Implications of Hurricane Gustav

I had an interesting conversation tonight with a friend of mine who is a retired judge. He's a partisan of The Mommy Party (D), and we were sitting with a few guys that lean toward The Daddy Party (R).
The judge asked my opinion on the theological implications of Hurrican Gustav.
He may or may not have read my rant about Focus on The Family's Stuart Shepard asking people to pray for torrential rain on the night of Obama's nomination speech in Denver, but he figured I'd be aware of it.
The judge offered up the following, somewhat tongue in cheek:

1. Since God declined to mess up Obama's nomination speech, but sent Gustav to New Orleans during the Republican convention ON THE ANNIVERSARY OF KATRINA, it was a sign that God has turned his face away from the Republicans, and toward the Democrats.

2. I countered with this: Since failing to render aid during two consecutive New Orleans hurricanes would be unbelieveable even for this lame administration, Gustav gives The Daddy Party (R) a perfect excuse to avoid a Bush/Cheney appearance in Minneapolis. Who knows how much planning took place trying to minimize the effect of those two albatrosses at the convention. This gave Bush/Cheney justification to gracefully bail on the event, and deprived the Democrats of some wonderful sound bites.

Therefore God is smiling on the Republicans with the appearance of Hurricane Gustav. A hurricane hitting a major city would do far less damage to the city than Bush would do to the Republicans at this point.

3. God controls the weather, but it's not about politics. He's trying to teach us that we shouldn't build cities below sea level.

4. Here's another possibility. God controls the weather, but it's not all about us. Just because CNN and Fox and MSDNC are obsessed with conventions, that doesn't mean the creator of the universe is. There might be some catfish stranded in a stock tank that need to make their way to the Mississippi River, and Gustav was sent to do the job. Who knows.

4. God set everything in motion at the time of the Big Bang. We've had nothing but cause and effect relationships since then. What happens is what God wants. Do a Google search on "Calvinism". New Orleans is getting the hurricane that God wanted.

5. God set everything in motion at the time of the Big Bang. We've had nothing but cause and effect relationships since then. Whatever happens is inevitable, but not "predestined", since God doesn't care, intervene, or look in on things. Do a Google search on "Existential Theism". New Orleans is getting what was bound to happen, but God didn't cause it.

6. There is no such thing as Divine Intervention. We are on our own. God isn't going to protect us or turn back the storms. Therefore, we shouldn't build cities below sea level since they tend to flood. We shouldn't build cities along the gulf at the mouth of a major river. Those cities tend to flood. They are hurricane magnets, and we'll have to rebuild those cities every couple of decades if we stubbornly continue rebuilding.

But if God really did want to teach us these simple facts, how would he/she do it, short of coming down from heaven and issuing a declaration?

Probably by sending some hurricanes.

Pictures courtsey of here and here and here and here.

Carnival Of The Libertarians, Labor Day Edition

Welcome to the August 31, 2008 edition of carnival of the libertarians !
I got a lot of great entries this time. We'll do it again in about a month. As always, blogrolling, and reciprocal links to this post and this site are appreciated. Happy Reading !

Michael Bass presents The New Pledge of Allegiance posted at Debt Prison, saying, "I pledge allegiance to the United Coporations of America…. and to the Oligarchy for which it stands, one police state under tyranny, in debt, with welfare and hedonism for all"

blewsdawg presents Minneapolis Cops Get Medals For Raid On Wrong House! posted at InFrequently Asked Questions, saying, ""The easy decision would have been to retreat under covering fire. The team did not take the easy way out," Dolan told the crowd. "This is a perfect example of a situation that could have gone horribly wrong, but did not because of the professionalism with which it was handled."

What part of this did not go wrong?"

blewsdawg also presents So Who's Going To Lose Their Job? posted at InFrequently Asked Questions, saying, "The Mayor of Minneapolis is embarrassed about the cops who received medals for raiding the wrong house, and has laid the smack down on the Police Chief. Sort of."

Phil B. presents Companies are Taking Over the World posted at Phil for Humanity, saying, "A vast number of politicians, from around the word, have been bought and paid for by big businesses."

Michael Snyder presents 15 Things That Are Wrong With America posted at The Moral Collapse Of America.

Dana presents Parents’ constitutional liberty interest in education posted at Principled Discovery.

Archvillain presents That?s some fine police work there, Lou posted at A Dark and Sinister Force for Good, saying, "The police are supposed to be Public Servants."

Jeffrey Stingerstein presents Say "NO" to the Windfall Profit Tax posted at Disillusioned Words.

Urbain Beck presents Work ‘Til You Drop Dead — It’s Patriotic! posted at NOT a Guru!.

Andrew Ian Dodge presents Climate fascism posted at Dodgeblogium.

Alvaro Fernandez presents Neurogenesis and Brain Plasticity in Adult Brains posted at SharpBrains: Your Window into the Brain Fitness Revolution, saying, "Adults may have a tendency to get set in their ways – I’ve been doing it this way for a long time and it works, so why change? – Turns out, though, that change can be a way to keep aging brains healthy."

NotYourDaddy presents Affirmative Action Has Run its Course posted at Government is not your Daddy., saying, "Crutches are undeniably beneficial when one has a broken leg, but that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to rely on them permanently. Up to a point, they’re necessary to allow the injury to heal. But using them longer than necessary will eventually atrophy the very muscles that need to be strengthened to effect a full recovery."

Jeffrey Stingerstein presents I Love the NRA and the ACLU posted at Disillusioned Words, saying, "I put other because this covers the 2nd amendment and privacy"

Jeffrey Stingerstein presents » Thoughts on the 2008 Election (Part Three: Religion) Disillusioned Words: atheism, art and politics posted at Disillusioned Words.

Aahz presents Labor Unions And Freedom Don?t Mix posted at Philaahzophy, saying, "Happy Labor Day to my fellow slaves of the state :)"

Aaron Powell presents How the Bias for Intent Makes Fools of Us All posted at Aaron Ross Powell.

David Gross presents Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn's "Gulag Archipelago" posted at The Picket Line, saying, "Some time after I heard that Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn had died, I pulled "The Gulag Archipelago" from the shelves and found that I’d left some bookmarks in it. Here are some of the quotes I'd flagged."

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of
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The Cowboys, The Vikings, The Democrats, and The Republicans

A friend from work got me some tickets for Thursday night's Cowboys/Vikings preseason game. These games, of course, mean nothing. They are an opportunity for each offensive team to play against someone besides their own defense, and vice-versa.

Sam Hurd sprained his ankle in the opening drive, which is a bummer. You don't want to risk good players in a meaningless game. The Special Teams looked like death warmed over. (I played junior high football at North Sunflower Academy in Drew, Mississippi. That qualifies me to comment on these things.)

I always show up at these games armed with a radio. Mrs. Whited Sepulchre (whose father coached high school football in the 1960's) can follow everything without radio commentary, but my mind tends to wander unless I have announcers telling me what I'm seeing.

Placing bets on these games is pointless, because winning isn't the primary objective. The teams are there to try out new players. They want to learn which ones are worth keeping, and which should be cut from the team. Very few NFL teams try new plays during these games. Therefore, they're usually dull.

I switched over to the Democrat National Convention before this game even started, which allowed me to see and hear meaningless events simultaneously. (At one point in all this, I ate a totally bland $7.00 Red Barron Tasteless Pizza, and experienced a nihilistic trifecta of sight, sound, and taste.)

But If I thought the Cowboys/Vikings game was pointless....
Obama was throwing out stuff left and right. "I will lower taxes on...." "I will fight for...." "I will lift up my hands to the heavens, and fix...." "If you have enough faith, you can touch the hem of my garment and the tumors will be gone...." Et cetera. Etc. Etc. et freakin' cetera.

These issues are the Democrats' draft picks for the 2008 election: Change, lower taxes for people like us, getting out of Iraq, Change, cutting out corruption, punishing people who aren't like us with higher taxes, Change, and a charismatic black guy. Most of this stuff won't stick, despite being Focus Grouped, Mall Tested, Photoshopped, and Field Surveyed. And if, for instance, the Democrats' official objection to drilling for oil in Alaska fails to resonate with voters? That proposal will be cut from the team quicker than a 12th round draft pick.

Obama could've come out strong on gay and lesbian marriage, he could've proposed reforming our idiotic drug laws, and he could've said something about bringing the troops home from the 45 nations where we're currently paying them to sit. He didn't mention them, despite those issues being "owned" by the Democrats.


This week, McCain and his new draft pick from Alaska might advocate Free Trade, genuine Free Market agreements, school choice/vouchers, getting the insurance companies and lawyers out of my doctor's office, breaking the lobbyist stranglehold, and cutting the size of government by about 50%. He might mention those issues, but if elected he won't do anything about them, despite those issues being "owned" by the Republicans.
The main reason?
They don't have to.
They can get by with just talking about it. As long as these problems remain out there, unresolved, they're effective wedge issues. What would happen if, for instance, "Morning After" contraception was suddenly available from vending machines? What would that do to our carefully defined political dividing lines if the abortion issue was taken off the table? Can you imagine the chaos? Voters would wander off into different herds.
We've gotten very good at fighting over abortion, and would miss it terribly.
The Dems and Reps know you won't "waste" a vote on anyone else. They want you to think that you have no other choice. (I've stopped using the term "3rd party". I'm now calling the Libertarians a 2nd party. Rep's and Dem's are the first party.)
You're being told that there's a battle going on for the soul of the nation, that all of this is very significant, and that this matters more than who wins American Idol.
That's total horsecrap. This election makes the Cowboys/Vikings preseason game look like The Battle of Thermopylae.
The only battle is for driver's seat. Neither of these groups will change the direction of the car.

The main differences between Thursday's Cowboy's/Vikings preseason game and the Democratic and Republican Conventions?

The football game really did have two different teams on the field.

Go Bob Barr !

Cowboys/Vikings photos from ladybugbkt on Flickr. McCain/Palin from Castro News Network. Obama/Biden from The Holy New York Times.

Happy Labor Day ! ! !

I hope everyone has a safe and happy Labor Day, and comes back to work Tuesday ready to dig a little deeper....

Jim Sullivan doesn't believe any of it.

Jim Sullivan doesn't believe that Barack and Hillary love each other.

Caption this guy's picture

I need a caption for this picture, or the picture that this guy is taking. Take your pick.

Determining last week's winner was a problem, since the committee initially declared that Gar had the best caption. But he'd already won the week before. I had lobbed for Flee winning it, since she logs on from Saginaw, Michigan about 8 times per day just to see what's going on. Fembuttx, of course, is permanently disqualified. However, after consulting with the rules committee, it was decided that Snoopy The Goon was the winner because the bylaws specifically state that no contestant can win for two weeks in a row. If this sounds really confusing, it's because I've been watching the Democrats try to be totally fair to everyone during their convention.

Photo from WorthaLaugh.com

Obama Fatigue

I just finished reading Time and Newsweek. Guess who they're writing about, almost to the exclusion of anything else? And guess who is on the cover for the 8th or 9th time?

Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama there's geeky sexy Barack Obama Omaha for Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack ObamaBarack Obama Barack Obama I can't tell you how much we love Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama there's a thrill up my leg when I hear Obama my sweet sweet Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Obama Obama ObamaObama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama is the name of my next baby Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Look through the prophecies of Nostradamus for references to Barack ObamaBarack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama the transfiguration of Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama overcame hardship Barack Obama Barack Obama Obama Obama Barack Obama Barack ObamaBarack Obama will stop the rise of the oceans Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama and when they were finished with Barack Obama, they talked about Michelle for a while.

Good Lord in Heaven, they're setting this guy up for a Britney Spears/Michael Jackson fall. No human can live up to those expectations.

It's time for everyone to get on board with it. In keeping with the current level of Obama frenzy, I've written a Haiku in the great man's honor. Here goes:

Barack Obama
o yes, Barack Obama !
Barack Obama

I think it's pretty dang good. Next, I shall immortalize the Senator with a limerick:

There was a black Dad and white Mama,
Whose son was "The Chosen", Obama.
He'll keep us all fed,
Heal the sick, raise the dead,
End the war, plus he'll capture Osama.

I haven't had time to compose a sonnet, but it's a long time until November. Someone please email me the appropriate rhyme scheme. I want to convince the Texas A&M marching band to spell out the name Barack Obama at halftime. I want to blast Teddy Roosevelt off Mount Rushmore so we can start chiseling the Christlike visage of Barack Obama in Teddy's place. Let his utterances be bound into the book of Obama, and may it replace the Gospel of Mark (which is kinda weak and non-miraculous) in Holy Scripture. I want to hire a few dozen Tibetan monks to meditate on the sound of the name that men soon will dare not speak aloud: B_____ O____.

In the meantime, Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack ObamaBarack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama I worship the Mama of Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama I love that I'm typing the name Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack ObamaBarack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama I LIVE ON THE SAME PLANET WITH Barack ObamaBarack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack ObamaBarack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama Barack Obama don't we all love us some Barack Obama.

Teaching truth as fact

"In the High and Far-Off Times the Elephant, O Best Beloved, had no trunk. He had only a blackish, bulgy nose, as big as a boot, that he could wriggle about from side to side; but he couldn't pick up things with it. But there was one Elephant—a new Elephant — an Elephant's Child — who was full of 'satiable curiosity, and that means he asked ever so many questions…"
That's the first sentence of "The Elephant's Child" by Rudyard Kipling. It's one of a series called "Just So Stories" that he wrote for one of his daughters. The story is about a baby elephant (full of 'satiable curiosity) who up until that time had only "a blackish, bulgy nose, as big as a boot" and who has his nose stretched by a deceitful crocodile.

And that, dear children, is why elephants have long noses. You can look it up.

Kipling wrote about a dozen of these stories, including:

*How the Whale got his Throat - Explains how the whale was once a fearsome predator who ate humans, but was changed by one of his victims.
*How the Camel got his Hump - Explains how the idle camel was punished.
*How the Rhinoceros got his Skin - Explains why Rhinos have folds in their skin and bad tempers.
*How the Leopard got his Spots - You can guess.....
*The Sing-Song of Old Man Kangaroo - The story of how the kangaroo turned from a grey, wooly animal with short, stubby legs, to the athletic animal we know today.
*The Beginning of the Armadillos - The story of how the hedgehog and the turtle transformed into the first....armadillos.

None of these stories are factual. None of them happened. None should be given equal time in a science textbook.

Some of them, however, contain truth. Not TRUTH, but truth. For instance, the truth in "The Elephant's Child" is that when a gullible person runs into a deceitful person, bad things happen to the gullible person. Or perhaps the truth in the story can be found in the cliche "Curiosity killed the cat".

The Jewish/Christian scriptures also give us some stories. They include:

*Why is there a rainbow? - Genesis 9:12-16. This story explains how God put the first rainbow in the sky, as a promise to never again destroy the earth with a flood. The truth in that story is that even if you live in London, it will eventually stop raining.

*Why do people speak different languages? - Genesis 11:4-8. This story explains what happened when people tried to build a tower (The Tower of Babel) that would reach to heaven, and God put an end to the project by giving everyone a different language. The truth in that story is obvious to anyone who has worked in China for a month.

*Why don't snakes have legs? Why do people have to work? Why does it hurt women to have babies? - Genesis 3:14-19. 1) If snakes had legs, they'd be lobbyists. 2) Obama and Biden are asking that same question. 3) We'd be overpopulated otherwise.

You get the idea. These are stories. Some of them are good. Some of them, like the story of Abraham attempting to sacrifice his son Isaac, are barbaric and should be avoided.

Many Christians obsess over the story found in Genesis 1:26-27 . (Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.) They want to be sure this story gets equal time in science classrooms. They try to influence textbook publishers and purchasing committees. It influences how they vote. They give biology teachers hell. They take the issue to court.

So where are the people who should be protesting against "Godless Linguistics"? Do you remember the chart that was usually in the front of your middle school Grammar and English books? The one that showed all the different families of languages? The chart makes no mention of The Tower Of Babel ! ! ! Where's the outrage? Where are the protesters?

Remember your elementary school science teacher shining light through a prism and explaining the color spectrum? Did he take time to explain that this phenomenom didn't exist before the flood in Genesis? Did he explain that the resulting rainbow was a promise from God, and not a mere reorganization of light? From now on, shouldn't the Genesis Flood Story be given equal time when Optics is taught?

Spinal blocks and epidurals during childbirth are immoral, since they are an attempt to lessen the curse found in Genesis 3. Am I missing something here?

I could go on and on, but you get the idea. Fundamentalists are very selective in their protests.

There are some great, great stories in the Jewish and Christian scriptures. Like Kipling's "Just So Stories" they're an attempt at explaining why the world is the way it is. They were the best we could do at the time. When we read them, we should be looking for the truths, not the facts. That's what the person who created them intended.

"When I was a child I spoke as a child I understood as a child I thought as a child; but when I became a man I put away childish things." I Corinthians 13: 11

So put down your picket signs. Stop lobbying textbook publishers. Leave the biology teachers alone. Grow up.

Death And Taxes

Someone has put together a chart called "Death And Taxes". It depicts the requested 2008 budget for the federal "discretionary" budget - the amount that is requested by the President, and that has to be approved by Congress each year. It doesn't include Black Holes like Social Security, Medicare, or Medicaid (money that is supposed to be supplied by other contributions).
This poster represents 1,075 billion dollars. I have no idea why it's represented as 1,075 billion instead of 1.07 trillion. Maybe numbers become ridiculous when they grow that large, and this is the easiest way for us to digest them.

Click here to see close-ups of the chart. Don't go in there unless you have plenty of time. Don't go in there if you still have sentimental attachments to the Daddy Party (R) or the Mommy Party (D), since those two groups are going to spend this money like drunk cowboys regardless of our current level of debt.

There's a little penny in the bottom right corner of the poster. The penny represents the total budget, not just the discretionary portion. For the 2008 fiscal year, Daddy and Mommy are going to spend 2.902 trillion dollars. They're only going to receive 2.662 trillion dollars. The difference, which will be passed along to the kids in the back seat of the family car, is 239 billion dollars (2% less than last year ! ! !)

The Daddy Party (R) and The Mommy Party (D) can't be trusted with the family car, or the credit cards, or the keys to the liquor cabinet, or staying out of expensive fights with people across town, but they want to keep driving and spending for another four years.

Check out the chart, and ask yourself if you really believe these two groups are ever going to change.

Go Bob Barr (L).

Earliest Known Picture Of Michael Phelps

This is a rare cartoon submission from The Mother Of The Whited Sepulchre.

Press "1" for English (and pay $50.00)

I ran into this all the time in China, where there would be an unspoken Chinese price and a "Barbarian" price.

This is the first time I've seen the English/Spanish variation.

Shouldn't those who have more be asked to pay more? Or does that idea seem kind of offensive?
Discuss amongst yourselves.

Photo from Flikr.