Statist Bingo

I spend way too much of my life arguing with the servile, the subjugated, and the lovers of enslavement.  Sometimes in bars, sometimes on Facebook, and sometimes via email.  The only thing that keeps me going at it is a) knowing that I'm right, and b) that it eventually shuts down my opponents, and c) knowing that I'll never, ever convert these boot-lickers, but that I've converted TONS of bystanders to the discussion. 

I saw this thing on Reddit, and had to laugh.  I can't wait to use it.  Save this link.  If I could change something on this card, the "Free" space would read "You just want to ______"  (turn back the clock, put black people in chains, see children die, give lots of free stuff to rich people, or any of the other stuff Obama is currently doing.) 

My new goal is to get an Obamaphile to score 5 in a row.  Hey, it's not really a game if you don't keep score. 

Green Bay Packers 45, Dallas Cowboys 7, and a history of all the coaches that Jerry Jones has fired in an effort to discover the root cause of the problem

I played left guard for one year at North Sunflower Academy.  I was in the 9th grade.  That's enough to qualify me to comment on this issue.  I'm probably going to repeat this post every week until Jerry Jones discovers the problem with his team.   

Lord have mercy, what an ugly game.  The Dallas Cowboys got spanked, and I mean spanked by the Green Bay Packers, 45-7. 
Can you believe that Detroit is actually looking forward to playing us? 

What needs to happen?  Well, let's look at some history. 

The Cowboys franchise got its start in 1960.  Tom Landry was head coach.

When Landry was fired by Jerry Jones, he had a career record of 270-178-6.  However, Landry (before the start of the 1989 season) had not won a playoff game since 1983.  That's five years.  It was probably time for a change. 

When Jerry Jones purchased the team, he made himself General Manager.  He has supposedly been in charge of all personnel decisions since 1989. 

Jerry put the great Jimmy Johnson in as head coach.  Johnson had been coaching at the University Of Miami, and was familiar with many of the players soon to be drafted by the NFL.  We'll never know who made the decisions that led to the Cowboys era of greatness in the 1990's, but my money is on Jimmy. 

Jimmy Johnson coached his Cowboys to Super Bowl victories in 1992 and 1993.   But he couldn't get along with Jerry and left after the 1993 season.  

The details remain shrouded in a late-night haze, but it seems the trouble started when Jones toasted the Cowboys and was offended when Johnson reciprocated but did not invite Jones to join his table. A few hours later, Johnson alleges, Jones told a group of reporters in a bar that he planned to fire Johnson and replace him with Barry Switzer, an old foe of Johnson's from his college coaching days.

Then General Manager Jerry Jones....

....appointed Barry Switzer as Cowboys head coach. 

Using Jimmy's players, Switzer was able to win a playoff game in 1994, and he won the Super Bowl in 1995. 
The Cowboys won a single playoff game in 1996 (a year soon to be known as "the good old days), but went a disappointing 6-10 in 1997. 
General Manager Jerry Jones.....

....knew he had to do something after his head coach didn't win a playoff game in 1997.  He fired Switzer, and replaced him with Chan Gailey. 

Gailey went 10-6 in 1998, and then 8-8 in 1999.  He didn't win any playoff games. 
So then, Jerry Jones, who was supposedly still making all of the personnel decisions....

 
...fired Chan Gailey and replaced him with Dave Campo. 

Campo was head coach in 2000, 2001, and 2002, and had a won/loss record (respectively) of 5-11, 5-11, and finally, 5-11.  No playoff wins. 
So General Manager Jerry Jones, who was still in charge of ALL personnel decisions....

....fired Campo and replaced him with Bill Parcells. 

Despite winning a couple of Super Bowls with the Giants, and an AFC Championship season with The Patsies, Parcells was unable to do anything with Jerry's Kids in Dallas.  There were lots of discussions about "They want you to cook the dinner, at least they ought to let you shop for some of the groceries."  Some former Parcells players got signed, and Parcells had some small authority over the team. 
From 2003 through 2006, the Dallas Cowboys went 10-6, 6-10, 9-7, and 9-7.  They didn't win any playoff games. 

(It was at the beginning of the Parcells era that I discovered that God hates Jerry Jones, and I started making a small fortune betting against Dallas.  That has nothing to do with the matter at hand.  I wasn't worth a crap at left guard at North Sunflower Academy, but I can tell who God doesn't like.)

Parcells retired. 

Then Cowboys General Manager Jerry Jones, who hadn't won a playoff game since 1996....

...thought that he could improve the situation by bringing in Wade Phillips. 

Maybe Jerry Jones had discovered the source of his problems.  Maybe this coach would be the one who could properly use Jerry's draft choices. 

The first year, 2007, it almost worked.  The Boys went 13-3, but didn't win a playoff game. 

The next year, they went 9-7, but didn't make the playoffs. 

In 2009/2010, perhaps to illustrate the old proverb that "even a blind hog can sometimes find an acorn", Jerry's draftees went 11-5, and beat the Philadelphia Eagles in a playoff game.  The curse was lifted. 

The next week Minnesota beat the tar out of them 34-3. 

This year, the mighty Dallas Cowboys have started the season with one win and seven losses.  They just finished losing to Green Bay, and they're about to lose to DETROIT.  Yes, DETROIT.  

   

Jerry Jones and the city of Arlington have taken people's homes by force, bulldozed them, and built the greatest sports facility on this planet on the site of their theft.  All to host this mess.  That was like tearing down the Taj Mahal to put up a movie theatre that only shows "Jackass 3". 

That's the history of the Dallas Cowboys coaches and their playoff wins.

Let's hope that Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, who is a brilliant businessman, can figure out the root cause of his problems.

Well, not really.....
Update from 11-8-2010:
Jerry has now fired Wade Phillips and made Jason Garrett the interim Head Coach.  Garrett was sorta the Offensive Coordinator and Head Coach In Waiting, the one that Phillips didn't get to choose.  Kinda like he didn't get to choose anyone else on his team. 

That makes 7 head coaches who had to be fired or replaced by one General Manager.  It's hard to find good ones. 

Pics came from here and here and here and here and here. 

Dallas Cowboys 17, Jacksonville Jaguars 35, and a history of all the coaches that Jerry Jones has fired in his quest to figure out the problem

I played left guard for one year at North Sunflower Academy.  I was in the 9th grade.  That's enough to qualify me to comment on this issue. 

Lord have mercy, what an ugly game.  The Dallas Cowboys got spanked, and I mean spanked by the lowly Jacksonville Jaguars, 35-17. 
Can you believe that Detroit is actually looking forward to playing us? 

What needs to happen?  Well, let's look at some history. 

The Cowboys franchise got its start in 1960.  Tom Landry was head coach.

When Landry was fired by Jerry Jones, he had a career record of 270-178-6.  However, Landry (before the start of the 1989 season) had not won a playoff game since 1983.  That's five years.  It was probably time for a change. 

When Jerry Jones purchased the team, he made himself General Manager.  He has supposedly been in charge of all personnel decisions since 1989. 

Jerry put the great Jimmy Johnson in as head coach.  Johnson had been coaching at the University Of Miami, and was familiar with many of the players soon to be drafted by the NFL.  We'll never know who made the decisions that led to the Cowboys era of greatness in the 1990's, but my money is on Jimmy. 

Jimmy Johnson coached his Cowboys to Super Bowl victories in 1992 and 1993.   But he couldn't get along with Jerry and left after the 1993 season.  

The details remain shrouded in a late-night haze, but it seems the trouble started when Jones toasted the Cowboys and was offended when Johnson reciprocated but did not invite Jones to join his table. A few hours later, Johnson alleges, Jones told a group of reporters in a bar that he planned to fire Johnson and replace him with Barry Switzer, an old foe of Johnson's from his college coaching days.

Then General Manager Jerry Jones....

....appointed Barry Switzer as Cowboys head coach. 

Using Jimmy's players, Switzer was able to win a playoff game in 1994, and he won the Super Bowl in 1995. 
The Cowboys won a single playoff game in 1996 (a year soon to be known as "the good old days), but went a disappointing 6-10 in 1997. 
General Manager Jerry Jones.....

....knew he had to do something after his head coach didn't win a playoff game in 1997.  He fired Switzer, and replaced him with Chan Gailey. 

Gailey went 10-6 in 1998, and then 8-8 in 1999.  He didn't win any playoff games. 
So then, Jerry Jones, who was supposedly still making all of the personnel decisions....

 
...fired Chan Gailey and replaced him with Dave Campo. 

Campo was head coach in 2000, 2001, and 2002, and had a won/loss record (respectively) of 5-11, 5-11, and finally, 5-11.  No playoff wins. 
So General Manager Jerry Jones, who was still in charge of ALL personnel decisions....

....fired Campo and replaced him with Bill Parcells. 

Despite winning a couple of Super Bowls with the Giants, and an AFC Championship season with The Patsies, Parcells was unable to do anything with Jerry's Kids in Dallas.  There were lots of discussions about "They want you to cook the dinner, at least they ought to let you shop for some of the groceries."  Some former Parcells players got signed, and Parcells had some small authority over the team. 
From 2003 through 2006, the Dallas Cowboys went 10-6, 6-10, 9-7, and 9-7.  They didn't win any playoff games. 

(It was at the beginning of the Parcells era that I discovered that God hates Jerry Jones, and I started making a small fortune betting against Dallas.  That has nothing to do with the matter at hand.  I wasn't worth a crap at left guard at North Sunflower Academy, but I can tell who God doesn't like.)

Parcells retired. 

Then Cowboys General Manager Jerry Jones, who hadn't won a playoff game since 1996....

...thought that he could improve the situation by bringing in Wade Phillips. 

Maybe Jerry Jones had discovered the source of his problems.  Maybe this coach would be the one who could properly use Jerry's draft choices. 

The first year, 2007, it almost worked.  The Boys went 13-3, but didn't win a playoff game. 

The next year, they went 9-7, but didn't make the playoffs. 

In 2009/2010, perhaps to illustrate the old proverb that "even a blind hog can sometimes find an acorn", Jerry's draftees went 11-5, and beat the Philadelphia Eagles in a playoff game.  The curse was lifted. 

The next week Minnesota beat the tar out of them 34-3. 

This year, the mighty Dallas Cowboys have started the season with one win and six losses.  They just finished losing to Jacksonville.  Yes, Jacksonville.   

Jerry Jones and the city of Arlington have taken people's homes by force, bulldozed them, and built the greatest sports facility on this planet on the site of their theft.  All to host this mess.  That was like tearing down the Taj Mahal to put up a movie theatre that only shows "Jackass 3". 

That's the history of the Dallas Cowboys coaches and their playoff wins. 

Let's hope that Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, who is a brilliant businessman, can figure out the root cause of his problems.

Pics came from here and here and here and here. 

Note to LeBron James: Elections have consequences

Here are excerpts from a couple of related posts about LeBron James.  Let me begin by stating that I don't care where LeBron James chooses to throw plastic bags of air through metal rings.  I'm a football guy. 

The first (from back in October 2008) is from BET.com, in which rapper Jay-Z and LeBron James offer the following words of encouragement:

If you plan on voting for Barack Obama, Jay-Z would prefer that you do it sooner than later. He and NBA superstar LeBron James are calling on people to cast their ballots ahead of time – and vote for Obama. James and Jay-Z hosted a concert and rally Wednesday at the Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland . James attended a Cleveland rally earlier this month to encourage people to vote for Obama. He’s also contributed $20,000 to a committee supporting the Democratic presidential nominee.

Next, we have this gem from the Wall Street Journal.  I'm quoting from the version quoted at The Tax Prof, since I don't subscribe to the WSJ's online edition:

We come not to praise or bury LeBron James, but only to note that by moving to Miami he's going to save a bundle on taxes. ... Florida has no income tax. The rate in Akron, Ohio is a little over 7%.


Mr. James figures to earn close to $100 million in salary over five seasons in Miami. According to an analysis by Richard Vedder, an economist at Ohio University, Mr. James's net present value tax savings on his salary are between $6 million and $8 million by living in Miami versus his home town of Akron. Professional athletes do have to pay other state taxes for the dates they play in visiting team arenas, but most of Mr. James's considerable endorsement income would be taxed at Florida rates.

The tax comparisons looked even worse for two other teams in the LeBron bidding, the New York Knicks and New Jersey Nets. ...

The New York State tax rate is 12%.  If James was serious about supporting the Teleprompter Jesus and all his holy works, wouldn't New York have been the best place to go?  The idea behind Obama's candidacy was for the wealthy to start paying as much as possible as soon as possible, right?   

While LeBron's departure got extraordinary media attention, it is hardly unique. In the early 1990s, Ohio was the home of 43 Fortune 500 companies. Twenty years later the number is 24. Census Bureau data show that from 2004-2008 Ohio saw a net outmigration of $6 billion of income and some 97,000 taxpayers. Even Ohio's famously liberal Senator, the late Howard Metzenbaum, moved to Florida late in his life to reduce his estate taxes.


We feel for Cleveland fans, but maybe they should allocate some of their wrath to the state politicians who keep driving high-income individuals and their businesses to financially sunnier climes.

$8,000,000 is merely the amount that Mr. James is trying to save on state taxes.  That's on his basic salary, not endorsement deals.  Does anyone care to guess how many tax accountants LeBron James is now currently employing to protect his earnings from Barack Obama's Treasury goons?  (Hint: I bet that the answer is "lots".) 

The LeBron James Nike ad came from here. 

It really is that bad, isn't it ?

I found this on Denny's site. 

A Target-Rich Environment

Have you ever gone dove hunting on a baited field? It's not much fun. There are so many birds, that you don't get a feeling of accomplishment when you bring one down.

Ever shot a deer from a herd that was enclosed in a small barbed-wire fence? Me neither. Hope I never do.

Have you ever gotten a fishing license, gotten your poles, lures, bait and boat together, and then gone to dip a few fish out of the live well at a Red Lobster restaurant? Well, I haven't either. I can't imagine why anyone would want to do that.

But that's what it is going to be like every time I visit this site.

The cool picture of the guy with too many targets to shoot at came from here.