If we have televangelist Robert Tilton, who needs ObamaCare??

I love this guy. 
This is Televangelist Robert Tilton.  If it sounds like he's speaking gibberish, it's because he is.  He thinks that he has the gift of "tongues", spoken of in the book of Acts.  If you have the gift of discernment, you can interpret his gibberish, and use it as a guide for your life.  Or something. 

This video is only 40 seconds long. 

If you can make it from the .20 to the .30 mark without laughing out loud, you're a better person than me. 

For Henry and Patricia

Will Campbell is the author of "Brother To A Dragonfly", which won the National Book Award in 1978. 

He was the inspiration for Reverend Will B. Dunn in the Kudzu comic strip. 

He earned a Doctorate from the Yale Divinity School. 

Any of those three things would be enough to earn some serious respect.  Campbell was also a civil rights worker in the Deep South during the 60's.  He spoke out against the Viet Nam war when almost everyone around him disagreed.  This was back in the day when "liberals" were against any war, not just Republican wars.  They didn't trust the government, no matter which team was running it. 

Heck of a guy, that Will Campbell. 

My friends Henry and Patricia are getting married this weekend in New Orleans.  I was planning to be there.  They even asked me to get ordained so I could perform the marriage ceremony.  (I got 'er done through the Universal Life Church.)  Because of some personal complications, I'm going to have to think about Henry and Patricia from afar during their wedding. 

Had I been able to be there, my part of the service would've been along these lines, boiled down and condensed considerably.....

Here's Will Campbell, writing about marriage in "Brother To A Dragonfly".  The italics are mine:

If there is a body, a community, which is truly Church, or even claims to be Church, why should it be the executor of Caesar’s documents? What is a marriage license but a legal contract? And what does any legal contract promise and offer except the right to sue one another at another time and place before another of Caesar’s agents? Perhaps such contracts are socially necessary but what does that have to do with us? And even if we are not Church now but want to become Church, free from the demands and legality of Caesar, why not start by returning all of his documents and refusing ever to do it again? “No, Mr. Caesar, that is not our understanding of what marriage is all about. If you must protect yourself and your citizenry in this fashion you may continue to do so. But not with our help and blessing. Let the faithful come before the altar of the One we must serve rather than, and before, you. And acting on His, and only His, authority we will pronounce them man and woman, husband and wife.”

Too Libertarian?  Probably.  Did Henry and Patricia know that's what they'd get if they asked me to do their wedding?  Probably. 

Back to Will Campbell:

I was never again to say, “By the authority vested in me by the State of Tennessee.” If my authority as a priest comes from the State, then I have no authority at all. From that time on, I began all weddings by saying, “Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar’s. If you have a license, we will sign it at this time.” And then saying to the couple, “Now what we have just done is to endow you with a legal contract. It has nothing to do with Christian marriage. It is nothing more than a contract between you and this state which gives you the right to sue one another if you should ever desire to do so.” And the document is tossed casually, and sometimes contemptuously aside. “Now, the passage which begins ‘Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar’s continues. ‘And render unto God the things that are God’s.’ And the wedding begins at this point.”

Lord have mercy, I would have enjoyed contemptuously casting that document aside.  Especially during Jazzfest in New Orleans.  Oh well.  Back to Will Campbell:

Maybe one day I will yet follow my conscience and refuse to sign that document at all, ask the couple to have a Justice of the Peace sign the Contract of Caesar. And on a number of occasions there have been no such documents. And by the authority vested in me by Almighty God I have pronounced them man and woman, husband and wife. And I defy Caesar to question that they are married. But those without the document are required to spend an extended amount of time with me and with one another in making sure they are ready for such radical trust and commitment. For they do not have the protection that the legal contract would afford them. They cannot sue one another. They have only themselves, the community if there be one, and the source of the authority which so joins them. Those who have come with no license have not come flaunting liberation but bearing witness to servanthood. They are not products of a new morality but an anachronism of an old morality, a testimony to “Jesus Christ is Lord. Hallelujah!” (from Brother to a Dragonfly, 213-214)

You get the idea. 

Henry Farrish, my friend since the 4th grade, and Patricia Starnes, my friend since freakin' kindertgarten, would've come away from the ceremony knowing that they were by-God married.  I would've tied that knot and yanked on it in front of the entire Ninth Ward to make sure it was going to hold. 

Henry and Patricia have spent 40 to 45 years with me, and I am assured that they are ready for this type of radical trust and commitment. 

They don't need the protection of a legal contract.  Anyone who hangs out with them needs diabetes medication to keep from going into insulin shock. 

They will not sue each other. 

They have something that so many people do not have.
 
I do so wish them all the best. 

If Obama's Drug War has lost Pat Robertson....

From Hot Air....

Quick: What do Pat Robertson and Ron Paul have in common? Yep, that’s right — they both think marijuana should be as legal as alcohol. Robertson made waves on the issue in the past when he said he thought marijuana-possession convictions shouldn’t end in mandatory prison sentences. He’s making waves again with the outright call to legalize the controlled substance.

Mr. Robertson’s support for legalizing pot appeared in a New York Times article published Thursday. His spokesman confirmed to the Associated Press that Mr. Robertson supports legalization with regulation. Mr. Robertson was not made available for an interview.
“I really believe we should treat marijuana the way we treat beverage alcohol,” Mr. Robertson was quoted by the newspaper as saying. “If people can go into a liquor store and buy a bottle of alcohol and drink it at home legally, then why do we say that the use of this other substance is somehow criminal?”
Mr. Robertson said he “absolutely” supports ballot measures in Colorado and Washington state that would allow people older than 21 to possess a small amount of marijuana and allow for commercial pot sales. Both measures, if passed by voters, would place the states at odds with federal law, which bans marijuana use of all kinds.

This debate seems to have no direction to go but in the direction of legalization; as Robertson said elsewhere in the article, “This war on drugs just hasn’t succeeded.”

The picture of Robertson having a psychedelic experience came from here. 

First Baptist Church Of Dallas, Robert Jeffress, And The Earthquake In Japan

This Sunday morning, the Reverend Doctor Robert Jeffress is going to address the congregation of First Baptist Church Of Dallas on the subject of "Earthquake Theology". 

The sermon will be centered around these blood-curdling scripturea from the book of Nahum, chapter one:

2 The LORD is a jealous and avenging God;
the LORD takes vengeance and is filled with wrath.
The LORD takes vengeance on his foes
and vents his wrath against his enemies.
3 The LORD is slow to anger but great in power;
the LORD will not leave the guilty unpunished.
His way is in the whirlwind and the storm,
and clouds are the dust of his feet.
4 He rebukes the sea and dries it up;
he makes all the rivers run dry.
Bashan and Carmel wither
and the blossoms of Lebanon fade.
5 The mountains quake before him
and the hills melt away.
The earth trembles at his presence,
the world and all who live in it.
6 Who can withstand his indignation?
Who can endure his fierce anger?
His wrath is poured out like fire;
the rocks are shattered before him.
7 The LORD is good,
a refuge in times of trouble.
He cares for those who trust in him,
8 but with an overwhelming flood
he will make an end of Nineveh;
he will pursue his foes into the realm of darkness.
9 Whatever they plot against the LORD
he will bring to an end;

And all this time I thought earthquakes were caused by plate tectonics. 

If you go here, you can see Dr. Jeffress's schedule of media-whoring.  Hit the KRLD link, and you'll hear Jeffress claim that the Japan earthquake and tsunami were either caused by God, like he caused the flood that killed everyone except Noah's family, or he "allowed" the disasters in the same way he allowed the death of Job's family. 
Seriously.  God is working his purpose out.  In the biblical examples and murders that Jeffress mentions, God was either killing off sinners or just trying to make a point during an argument with Satan.  Pick one. 
If the KRLD interview is a preview, then that will probably be the nurturing message for First Baptist Dallas this Sunday.   

That ol' Yahweh, he's quite a guy, isn't he? 

Some people and some cultures just can't comprehend that things....just....sometimes....happen.  There is no deeper meaning to them.  Hurricane Katrina wasn't caused by gays in New Orleans.  The earthquake in Haiti wasn't "allowed" to happen because Haitians practice voodoo, no matter what Pat Robertson says.  If it doesn't rain for a while, you don't need to pray harder and longer.  If your crops die, you don't need to burn a few witches.  There is never a good reason to throw virgins into the volcano. 

People want to believe that they're responsible for everything that happens to them, that they can take control of their environment, and that prayer, positive thinking, crystals, or talismans can improve their odds.  This is why some people give money to Dr. Robert Jeffress.  And this is the main reason why I've always been skeptical of the idea that the Goddess Gaia will be appeased if we'll just stop driving SUV's.and give more money and power to climate evangelists who claim they can change the weather. 

According to Dr. Robert Jeffress, God either caused or allowed the earthquake in Japan.  It makes no difference if God made it happen or was just taking the morning off. God was in control of the situation.  If the collection of books and stories that we call "Bible" is 100% true, then Jeffress is 100% correct, and I have a grudging admiration for Jeffress for having the cajones to be somewhat consistent. 

If I have a point here, it's that our ancient and holy books, and our ancient and holy concepts of gods and curses might be due for an upgrade.  Otherwise, Robert Jeffress is right. 

God decided to kill 10,000 Japanese people. 

Hit the "Taking X out of Xmas" label below to read about the Christmas campaign that First Baptist Dallas gave us last year.  Hit the "Earthquakes" label to read about what kind of bumpersticker God would put on his Cadillac. 

Let me know when four horsemen named War, Pestilence, Death, and Famine come riding in from the east

Get out yer Book Of Revelation, start hoarding groceries, take to the hills !!!   The Apocalypse is upon us !!!