But in a Libertarian society, who would regulate Monsanto?

My Libertarian credentials and activities are now out there to the point that I'm no longer introduced as Whited, the shipping manager, or Whited, the father of The Aggie. 

I'm now Whited, the Libertarian. 

Here's the conversation that comes up about 50% of the time:

Whited: Nice to meet you!

Statist Slave: You too.  Hey, how can you be a Libertarian when they want to let Monsanto poison people and create Godzilla corn and torture puppies? 

Whited: Who told you that? 

Statist Slave: Well, you guys are always in favor of the big corporations, and....

Whited: No, no, no, we're not in favor of the big corporations.  We're pro-free market. 

Statist Slave: But if you have nothing but unfettered capitalism, corporations like Monsanto will continue to steal our Bibles, and dig up the bodies of our ancestors for target practice. 

And so it goes.....

Seriously, here's what works best.  There's lots of confusion out there about "less regulation" and "holding people to account for harming others".  There's almost total ignorance about Public Choice Theory and Regulatory Capture. 

Ask your friend which corporations he fears.  You're going to hear about Monsanto, some military contractors, Wal-Mart, and global multinationals.  That's it.  Not the agricultural subsidy hawgs, the green energy scammers or G.E. 

Ask why they are afraid of these companies.  You're going to hear about corporate oppression, advertising that allows us no choice because we're so susceptible to marketing, underpaid workers, and harm to the environment. 

Take 'em on one at a time.  Monsanto OWNS the FDA.  And the EPA. There's nothing but a very well-lubricated turnstile between those three organizations.   Go here for details.  (This is called "regulatory capture", but taken to the 10th power in this case.  Most government agencies wind up defending their regulated companies from competitors.  In Monsanto's case, the regulators are Monsanto.  Truly amazing) 

Ask what they want the government to do to Monsanto.  They'll state that they want GMO's (Genetically Modified Organisms) labeled as such.

 (Full Disclosure: I can't stand Monsanto, but it's because of the Monsanto Protection Act, which essentially states that if a GMO crop goes bad or turns out to be dangerous, Uncle Sam is obliged to purchase the crop.  With your money.  That's why I turn up at every Monsanto protest within 50 miles of Cowtown.)   

There are other ways to do this without getting government munchkins and pygmies involved.  Look to the example of Kosher foods.  Underwriters Laboratories.  The same thing could be put in place for GMO's.  But if they think the FDA (also known as Monsanto) is going to require Monsanto (also known as the FDA) to label GMO's, it ain't going to happen. 

We're getting close to the end here.  Hang with me.  At this point, my new friend, who is going to avoid me until he starts making a lot of money and feeling guilty about seeking tax shelters, is getting uncomfortable. 

Ask about Farmer's Markets, and the Locavore movement (eating foods grown with 100 miles).  Are these little guys going to handle all this paperwork and testing and pay for certification?  How about the Mexican dude selling tacos and burritos from a bicycle?  Will he have to be accountable?  Where would you draw the line?  (Of course they can't.  That's why Big Business loves Big Government.  Big Government stops little guys from getting started.) 

Finally, for those who believe in evolution, mention that 150 years ago, an ear of corn was about an inch and a half long.  Wheat grew at about 25% of its present density and yield.  Ditto for rice.  Some of this was achieved through trial and error, some through traditional hybridization methods, some by accident, and some by guys at Monsanto (and State Ag Colleges) saying "Screw it, I'm just gonna alter the DNA."  Where would you draw the line?  In the messy, random process that resulted in the Big Mac you're currently eating, where do we draw the line? 

Do you say "this is a sesame seed bun".   And it's the official sesame seed bun, starting with 2013.  This is a pickle.  The 2013 variety.  This is the DNA of 2013 lettuce.  Or pick your year.  We could say that the heirloom seeds of 1953 are the non-GMO variety.  Or we could try to define the beef patties that were present in The Garden Of Eden, and declare those to be the non-GMO's. 

But the foods are going to be changing, through human action, or through Natural Selection.  The lawyers will be very, very happy.  Monsanto can afford lots and lots of lawyers. 

At this point the Statist Slave will say "THE USA IS THE ONLY 1ST WORLD NATION THAT DOESN'T HAVE UNIVERSAL HEALTHCARE."  and agree to disagree. 

Keep fighting, people.  Keep fighting.  Later on this week, I'll write about how to alienate yourself by defending Wal-Mart. 

You might not care about politics, but politics cares about you.

The Tarrant County Libertarian Party usually has a meetup at a coffee bar, club, pub, or dive bar once a month.  It's always fun when the young newbies show up. 

One guy named Patrick stayed late to talk with us after the most recent meetup, and his complaint was a common one.  "We can hand out Nolan Charts on campus, talk about liberty, restraints on freedom, and all the big issues, and most college-age students will agree that they're probably libertarian-"ish", but they just aren't that into politics."

That's always fun one to respond to. 

You might not be into politics, but son, you better believe that politics is into you. 

"Politics", as currently practiced, has put $53,000.00 on your bar tab.  Have you ever had a good friend do that to you?  Don't you hate it when someone you don't really know that well goes out and has a good time at your expense, and leaves you with a bill for FIFTY THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS???

What are you majoring in at UT/A&M/UTA/Texas Wesleyan/TCU/TCCC? 

Oh, you're majoring in business?  That means you'll probably grow up to be a productive taxpayer.  In that case, they've put $148,000.00 on your bar tab. 

How old are you, son?  You're 21? 

Well, the unfunded liabilities (the bills that haven't come due yet) will add up to $1,09,906.00 per taxpayer. 

No one else is going to take care of this problem.  There isn't enough money in the nation to take care of the problem.  They're printing it. 

The folks in Washington are trying to distract you today with arguments about immigration.  Hell, illegal immigrants paying into Social Security and never taking anything out of it - they're the only thing keeping the system afloat. 

In the meantime, the area surrounding Washington D.C. is having the biggest boom in American history.  And you're paying for it. 

You might not care about politics, but politics cares about you. 

Gay Marriage, Start With Why, and The 100th Monkey

Something weird happened on Facebook three or four weeks ago. 
It seemed like EVERYONE came out in favor of Gay Marriage Equality. 
If you are a FB user, you probably saw icons like this one, with an "equals" sign symbolizing equality.  Apolitical, religious, non-confrontational friends (yes, I do have some) were all using it. 

The Libertarians have been there for a long, long time. 
Check this out, from the 1972 party platform:

The Democrat party finally put something about Marriage Equality in their platform this year.  The Republicans are kinda dipping their toes into the water. 
So what happend? 

This is from the I-Change website.  I think I first heard it in a Jorene Taylor-Swift sermon several years ago.  It's called "The 100th Monkey". 

The Japanese monkey, Macaca fuscata, had been observed in the wild for a period of over 30 years. In 1952, on the island of Koshima, scientists were providing monkeys with sweet potatoes dropped in the sand. The monkey liked the taste of the raw sweet potatoes, but they found the dirt unpleasant.


An 18-month-old female named Imo found she could solve the problem by washing the potatoes in a nearby stream. She taught this trick to her mother. Her playmates also learned this new way and they taught their mothers too.

This cultural innovation was gradually picked up by various monkeys before the eyes of the scientists. Between 1952 and 1958 all the young monkeys learned to wash the sandy sweet potatoes to make them more palatable. Only the adults who imitated their children learned this social improvement. Other adults kept eating the dirty sweet potatoes.

Then something startling took place. In the autumn of 1958, a certain number of Koshima monkeys were washing sweet potatoes -- the exact number is not known. Let us suppose that when the sun rose one morning there were 99 monkeys on Koshima Island who had learned to wash their sweet potatoes. Let's further suppose that later that morning, the hundredth monkey learned to wash potatoes.

THEN IT HAPPENED! By that evening almost everyone in the tribe was washing sweet potatoes before eating them. The added energy of this hundredth monkey somehow created an ideological breakthrough!

But notice: A most surprising thing observed by these scientists was that the habit of washing sweet potatoes then jumped over the sea...Colonies of monkeys on other islands and the mainland troop of monkeys at Takasakiyama began washing their sweet potatoes. Thus, when a certain critical number achieves an awareness, this new awareness may be communicated from mind to mind.

I don't know if I'd go that far with it, but it seemed like gay marriage equality, after spending about 40 years in the Libertarian Party Political Wilderness, was just suddenly there. 

Here's something else that sorta ties in.  I've been reading "Start With Why", by Simon Sinek.  In addition to teaching about why leaders and businesses waste a lot of time and effort on the Who, What, Where and When (before getting to the all-important "Why"), Sinek has a great chapter on who is most likely to understand Why and change his behavior. 
Who is most likely to sleep in front of a store to get an iPhone? 
Who is going to purchase a new Bluetooth with only one new feature compared to his old one? 
Who is going to fly Southwest Airlines at his own expense, when his employer is willing to pay 100% of the ticket on a rival airline?

This chart is called the Rogers Adoption/Innovation Curve.  Please note the divisions. 
IMHO, the Libertarian Party was an innovator on the Gay Marriage Equality issue.  A lot of rank-and-file Democrats were Early Adopters. 
Joe Biden and Barack Obama finally finished "evolving, and became part of the Early Majority about 20 minutes before the tipping point. 
The Republican party will finish its hand-wringing and become part of the Late Majority sometime next year.  Hide and watch. 
The Laggards will go to their graves opposing Gay Marriage Equality. 

 Here are some other issues where I believe the Libertarian Party will soon be joined by Early Adopters. 

*Expanding School Choice
*Military Downsizing
*Eliminating Nation-Building, And Defending OUR Borders
*Reducing The Size Of Our Military
*Neutering The Federal Reserve
*Lowering Import Tariffs
*Ending Crony Capitalism
*Legalizing Marijuana
*Ending The Drug War

Think of all the reasons to stop waiting. 
Come be with us.  It's fun to be first!! 

I think I'm going to "rebuke" Obamacare

The video is only 60 seconds long. Watch it. Then, everybody, on the count of three.... "I REBUKE THEE, I REBUKE THEE, I REBUKE THEE, OBAMACARE!!!"

Chronica 2012 with DFW/NORML

The good folks at DFW/NORML are letting me speak at their "Chronica 2012" year-end party. 
Here's what I plan to say....

Hello, my name is Allen Patterson, and I’m Chair of The Tarrant County Libertarian Party.


For those of you who aren’t familiar with us, the Libertarian Party is dedicated to the radical idea that other people are not your property. I’ll be glad to talk with any of you about our beliefs later on tonight.

I’m here for four reasons, and I’ll be brief…..

First, I want to say thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. For years and years, the Libertarian Party made small increases in its Tarrant County results. Bounced around with somewhere with a 10-15% increase every couple of years.

From 2010 to 2012, straight ticket Libertarian voting DOUBLED, from 1500 votes to 3000. Think about it, folks….there are now 3,000 people in Fort Worth and Arlington who are willing to go to the ballot box and vote for your right to be left alone. 3,000 voters willing to stand up against the Prohibitionist. And you good people at DFW/NORML are responsible for a huge part of the increase. Shaun McAlister, I love you like a brother, sir !! And in 2014, we’re going to go for 6,000 Libertarian straight ticket voters, or die trying.

The second thing I want to do tonight is piss you off. How many of you have seen the new Quentin Tarrantino movie “Django Unchained”? Slavery was a horrible system, wasn’t it???

That movie was set in 1855. It was an awful time. People did awful things to each other. But in the year 2012, 155 years later, we have more black men living in steel cages, or on probation or parole, than The Confederacy had living in steel cages in 1855. Most of those guys are in that situation because of the Drug War. 31% of Florida’s black male population can’t vote. They’re convicted felons. Convicted for owning a weed !! (And Shaun, we’ve got to get some more Brothers into the movement. Agreed?)

Since Richard Nixon started the War On Drugs in the early 1970’s, our government has spent 1.5 TRILLION dollars (that’s a fifteen with eleven zeroes) on the Drug War. That doesn’t include the amount we suffer from lost productivity, by the way. 1.5 trillion dollars !!

So how many of you have ever voted for one of these people as candidates for President or Vice President, in a primary or a general election? Bill Clinton George W. Bush Howard Dean John Edwards Newt Gingrich Al Gore John Kerry Sarah Palin Gary Johnson Barack Obama ?

Guess what they have in common? They’ve all smoked weed. Just like the 1.5 million people who were arrested for non-violent drug charges in 2011, all of them, at some point in their lives, have lit up a fat one. If you get caught, you get locked up in a steel cage with violent criminals. If you don’t get caught, you can be President. Go figure. So why do all these former tokers and smokers still support the drug war?

It’s because if the War On Drugs were to end tomorrow, it would eliminate the need for approximately 1 million government jobs. Barack Obama has one million jailers, narcs, border patrollers, torturers, parole officers, probation specialists and prison contractors who are voting for the status quo.

So what do we do?

Colorado and Washington State recently passed voter referendums on marijuana legalization. HMMmmmmm….. Let’s do that. But there are still some legal hassles involving growing, possession, transportation and the like. We need some people on the inside.

That gets me to point number three. The Libertarian Party needs candidates. We want to give voters a choice between Freedom and Prohibition, instead of flipping a coin between Team Red and Team Blue. If you want to put yourself out there, we’re waiting with open arms. We’ve got three levels. You can run as a “paper” candidate, just to offer a real choice for your neighborhood. All we ask is that you fill out newspaper surveys about your campaign. Better yet, you can run as an “educational” candidate, someone who goes to candidate forums and college campuses and speaks about why freedom is better than slavery. Then there’s the third level – you go out and do some fundraising and sink some money into a campaign that will scare the crap out of the Prohibition Parties.

We need you ! If you’re interested, go to the Tarrant County Libertarian Party website. You’ll see how to contact me.

Plus, Tarrant County’s going to be doing something special in 2014. We’re going to look at this year’s results by precinct, we’re going to look at the opposition in each race, and we’re going to try to determine which part of Tarrant County already has the most freedom lovers and NORML members. Then we’re going to select one candidate for that area’s Texas House race. We’re still going to give all the other candidates some love and affection. But the big effort is going to go into that one campaign. And it could be yours. We’re going to have a winner. I’ve heard a lot of County Chairs say that they weren’t in the business of picking winners and losers among their candidates. Screw that. We’re going to pick a winner, and we need your help knocking on doors, making phone calls, putting out yard signs and stuffing envelopes. If you love freedom enough to be a part of DFW/NORML, you already one of us.

I’m looking for a Moses to come out of the wilderness. I’m looking for someone who will get elected and go down to Austin and Washington to tell Rick Perry and Barack Obama to bulldoze their steel cages, lay off their Narcs, and fire their jailers. I need someone who will look Barack Obama in the eye and say “Barack Obama……..LET YOUR PEOPLE GO!!”

That gets me to point number four, and this is the last one. I don’t smoke, so I’m gonna go have a drink. Thanks so much for your support, your future support and your attention!!!

Bob Dylan refuses to accept Barack Obama as his personal Lord and Savior

I picked up the new Bob Dylan CD a couple of days ago.  Good stuff. 

I have my concerns, though.  Mikal Gilmore, in a recent Rolling Stone interview gave Dylan opportunity after opportunity to confess his sins, ignore economic reality and let Obama into his heart. 

Dylan wouldn't do it.  Go here for details.

Seriously....  Was Gilmore really expecting the author of this musical gem to continue endorsing our Warlord-In-Chief ???
Here are some of the boys from Pearl Jam doing Dylan's "Masters Of War".

Penn Jillette on speaking the truth

Penn Jillette appears in this brilliant video about the difference between libertarian evangelizing vs. merely speaking the truth. 

In Jillette's opinion, speaking the truth as you see it is the superior method for winning converts. 

Those of us who grew up listening to Baptist evangelists have a hard time dealing with this.  We tend to believe that those who disagree with us simply aren't aware of the same facts. 



Perhaps Jillette has a point. 

If you disagree with me on any Libertarian vs. Authoritarian issue, from now on, I promise to simply speak the truth as I see it.  YOU ARE WRONG, WRONG, WRONG !!

What to do with 250 copies of "The Book Of Mormon"

A Southern Baptist Witch Doctor, Robert Jeffress of First Baptist Dallas, recently made some waves by stating that Christians shouldn't vote for Mitt Romney because he's a member of a cult.  (Romney is a member of the LDS church.  Also known as the Mormon church.) 
The Robert Jeffress publicity stunt reminded me of something that I did about 25 years ago.
 
This is an unlikely story, so I'm going to copy my friend Henry Farrish when I throw it on Facebook. 

Henry can't vouch for the buildup, but he can verify the aftermath.  And the aftermath was pure, undiluted greatness. 

Here goes:

I moved to Fort Worth, Texas, in January of 1984 to attend Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary.
The training didn’t take.

I dropped out of seminary because of a crisis of faith, because my heart wasn’t in it, because of The White Elephant Saloon in the Fort Worth Stockyards, and because of the discovery that God just might not have plans to torture Jews and Muslims for eternity for their lack of belief in things they’d never heard of.

I eventually went to work doing shipping and receiving for Taylors Books, a local retail chain. My last semester, the spring of ’85 (?), I skipped all of my classes except for a couple that I liked and spent most of my time working at Taylors and reading heretical literature in the seminary library.

If you ever want to know more about the Marcionite heresy, I’m your man.

While I was going through my dark night of the soul, a couple of Mormon missionaries were on a parallel track.  Customers and employees of Taylors Books could look out the store windows and see these two depressed Mormon lads on their bicycles, pedaling around the Camp Bowie Boulevard neighborhood in their black slacks, white IBM shirts and black ties, going through a lackluster routine of handing out pamphlets and hardback copies of The Book Of Mormon. I wish those boys had come in the store so we could compare notes.

The pic of a couple of random Mormon missionaries came from here. 

They reminded me of those kids who are paid minimum wage to put on a Hot Dog costume and pass out coupons for Big Dawgs House O’ Wieners. Any photo of these missionaries could’ve been captioned “So….it really has come to this”.

These boys decided that spreading the message of the late prophet Joseph Smith was a poor career choice. They eventually gave up on evangelism and quietly dumped two massive cases of “The Book Of Mormon” at the back door of Taylors Books and said “screw it”.  Maybe they would’ve felt too guilty about throwing the books into a dumpster, but figured that a bookstore might sell them.  We never saw them again, and as far as I know they took their bicycles to I-20 and pedaled back to Salt Lake City.

They left me with about 250 free copies of “The Book Of Mormon – Another Testimony Of Jesus Christ”.

What to do, what to do….

I’ve got to digress for a moment.  You won't miss much if you skip the next 7 paragraphs....

Here’s what was going on at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary at the time. They were having a Holy War.  There was a conservative faction in the Southern Baptist Convention that didn’t believe that women should be allowed to preach, or even teach men (I’m serious). They didn’t believe that women should be leaders in the church or in the home - a concept called the “subordination of women”. (This rule doesn’t apply at the national level, though, as some conservatives found enough wiggle room in their policies to support Sarah Palin, who was godless enough to run for Vice President despite owning a real live vagina.)

The conservatives claimed that every word of the arbitrary collection loosely called “Bible” is without error, they insisted on a literal 6 day creation, and that humans speak multiple languages because some people at Babel once built an offensive tower, and that gays and lesbians were sinners who chose homosexuality the way that you choose Coke instead of Pepsi.

Very few people stopped to wonder if God didn’t like Muslims, women, Jews, or homosexuals, why oh why did he keep making so many of them?

Up until that point, Southern Baptists had advocated a couple of concepts called “Autonomy Of The Local Church” and “Priesthood Of The Believer”.  I don’t have the time, space or inclination to go into those traditions here, since I no longer have a dog in that fight, but those concepts imply that individual churches and individual Christians are free to find their own way, for better or for worse.

Those old libertarian-ish traditions weren’t good enough for many of the grim young strivers of Southwestern Baptist Theological Semitary. Any system that leaves people alone, theologically or politically, is a blatant affront to those who just know what is best for everyone else. How can you pull of a successful Disney boycott or a big war if some churches and some people won’t participate in the hatin’ ??

The conservative faction was opposed by a “liberal Baptist” faction. (Yeah, roll that phrase around in your mouth for a while. There is such a thing!) The liberal Baptists were a smaller, less powerful group which has gone on to become Episcopalian.

Let’s just say that I wasn’t happy there. I couldn’t imagine spending the rest of my life enmeshed in those debates. I had already blown off half of my classes and was half-auditing the others just to learn more, with no intention of taking any final exams. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with the rest of my life and didn’t have an immediate goal.

But someone had given me 250 copies of The Book Of Mormon. I took that as a sign from God, or Jupiter, Zeus, Zool, or the Flying Spaghetti Monster (who had not yet been revealed unto us, Bless His Noodly Appendage), that those books should be put to use.

Early one Saturday morning, I put on a generic denim shirt, one that could’ve been issued to someone’s maintenance crew. I got my cases of Joseph Smith’s Epistle To The Polygamists, a couple of shopping bags, and drove to school.

Other than the professorial and administrative offices, Southwestern Semitary classrooms were as open and empty as the tomb of the slain Galilean. I decided to hit the school of Theology first. I went into a classroom and propped a copy of “The Book Of Mormon: Another Testimony Of Jesus Christ” on the chalkrail of the blackboard. Front and center. It felt good. It looked right. A Hustler centerfold of Hillary Clinton couldn’t have been more offensive in that environment. I took a few steps back to admire my work, “and saw that it was good.” (Genesis 1:10 )

I went from classroom to classroom, like a Utah Johnny Appleseed, spreading the Mormon Gospel of Sacred Undergarments, Celestial Marriage, Republican Governors, and large families. What were they going to do to me, throw me out of school? Plus, the only way I was going to get caught was if I kept breaking out in loud giggles.

I went to the Preaching Lab, a mini-church sanctuary with a pulpit, piano, and pews. I put a copy in the hymnal rack on the back of each pew, left one on the pulpit, and then propped open one on the piano.
Next, I entered to the chapel. Entering this room with those Joseph Smith’s books was like performing a Muslim ritual Hajj to Mecca, approaching the holy Kaaba, and then whipping out a Pizza Hut Deep Dish Pork Lover’s special (with extra bacon) just to see how it would go over with the other pilgrims. I decorated the chapel with my heretical books. Thus was The School Of Theology evangelized.

I had to go back to my truck and restock my supply several times. I worked over the School Of Education, the School Of Music, the fitness center, and the childcare facility. No Mormon has ever spread the LDS gospel to a hostile audience the way I spread it that morning, and if there really is a multi-tiered Mormon heaven with Celestial, Terrestrial, and Telestial kingdoms, I believe I’m going spend eternity looking down on a lot of other Baptists. I did my work better than Brigham Young, dammit.

(Here's a helpful Mormon chart showing where I shall take my rightful place in the highest circle, The Celestial Kingdom.  I'm going to get into the highest Mormon Heaven because of my good works for The Faith.)

Nobody noticed anything until Tuesday morning. (Southwestern Semitary doesn’t have classes on Mondays. This allows part-time preachers with churches in Oklahoma, Louisiana and West Texas to return to The Angel Factory on Monday instead of driving all Sunday night.)

Tuesday morning, there was a massive uproar all over campus. Outrage. Sturdy, strapping young Baptists discussed marching on Salt Lake City to plant copies of Herschell Hobbs’ landmark tract “The Baptist Faith And Message” in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir loft. Some professors declared it to be a harmless prank, while others began their classes with a prayer that all Mormons/LDS church members would listen for the Spirit’s voice, find the true path, repent of their errors, and blah blah blah freakin’ blah. (That was the approach taken by Dr. Boyd Hunt in Systematic Theology, by the way. I know because I was there for it.)

That night, I went to my job at Bassham Food Services. The Bassham’s night shift was 50% Seminary students working their way through school, and 50% bewildered stoners and neighborhood kids who were very, very tired of being evangelized by Seminary students.

The breakroom conversations were about the cropdusting of the Seminary with copies of “The Book Of Mormon”. Theories of Whodunnit were proposed. Nobody could come up with a satisfactory explanation.

I just sat there grinning, looking like the guy who knows Who Farted.

My friend, co-worker, and roommate Henry Farrish looked at me for a while. Henry and I have known each other since the 4th grade.

Henry whispered “Did you do that?????”

I winked.

Later on, we went into a corner of the warehouse and laughed and laughed and laughed. Wish you could’ve seen it.

And that is what you do with 250 copies of “The Book Of Mormon”.

How to learn to appreciate Bob Dylan, in honor of his 70th birthday

First of all, Happy 70th Birthday, Bob Dylan ! 
The world is a better place with you in it. 

Second, there are billions of people out there who just can't "get" Dylan's music. 
I used to be one of them. 
I couldn't get past all the strange vocal mannerisms.  The swoops at the end of each line and his kazoo voice (which I think can produce the root and the 3rd of a chord simultaneously) were too off-putting for this boy who grew up singing in Southern Baptist choirs. 
But Dylan was always there in the background, lurking in the pages of my Rolling Stone subscription that my grandmother got me every year.  Every now and then Dylan's songs would get played on WHBQ in Memphis, or a little more often on Rock 103 out of Jackson.  Sometimes I changed the station, sometimes I didn't.  I figured Dylan was just a "you had to be there to appreciate it" 1960's thing. 

Dylan became a Christian in the late 70's, and his "Slow Train Coming" album could've been the gateway drug to a proper appreciation of The Great Bob and all his works.  I thought "Serve Somebody", "Slow Train", and "When You Gonna Wake Up" were pretty good songs, mostly because they fit well with the near-fanatical sense of evangelical purpose I felt at the time. 
But "When He Returns" was nothing to me but a series of croaks and groans.  Why on earth would anybody sing that way?  I mean, you could listen to him on "The Freewheeling Bob Dylan" and hear that the man really could hold a pitch for several seconds.  Why did he do that Minnesota Mud Throat thing, and why did so many people like it? 
I just didn't get it. 

And then it happened.  Trisha Yearwood covered Dylan's "To Make You Feel My Love" on the "Hope Floats" soundtrack.  It was a beautiful song, and I had no idea that Dylan wrote it. 



Later on in the same movie, Ol' Garth did the same song.



I liked the movie; I loved the soundtrack.
Years passed by. Dylan kept writing songs. I kept ignoring them.
Then an employee of mine asked me to sing "To Make You Feel My Love" at her wedding. When I was downloading the guitar tab, I saw that the song was written by...Bob Dylan.
I found his original version, and it clicked. I loved it.
I got it.



(Is there any other performer out there who can inspire "conversion stories"?)

In my opinion, the vocal swoops and falls are more than just a weird mannerism. Listen to any of the dozens and dozens of covers of Dylan songs on the internet, and you'll hear people taking his melodies in radically different directions. That's because different people hear different pitches inside those weird-assed roller coaster vocal things he does. Bob Dylan hits every note in the scale when travelling from the first to the last syllable of a word. If you want to sing a Dylan song, you can take your pick of pitches and melodies.

Somewhere in there, your version fits his.

Rolling Stone magazine has published a list of the 70 Greatest Bob Songs.
If you're not yet a Dylan fan, but feel like you're missing something, select one of those tunes. Pick one that has lots of YouTube pickers who cover it. Listen to his fans do the songs. Keep it in your head for a few days. Sing it to yourself.
Then listen to his original. It'll be like finding a King James Bible after making do with nothing but a copy of Good News For Modern Man.

If that doesn't work, at least you'll know that you have an open mind and that you gave it a shot.

Here's one for all my friends in Memphis and the Mississippi Delta. "High Water Everywhere (for Charley Patton)".



I get it now. I get it. Beautiful, beautiful stuff.
Hope you learn to like it.

Thomas Sowell on tax cuts

Please stand for this month's reading from The Gospel According To Saint Thomas....

Economist Thomas Sowell, the smartest man in the world now that Milton Friedman is dead, has given us an assortment of new scriptures to ponder.

As Saint Thomas has grown old, his offerings to his disciples have become shorter, but no less pithy. We should treasure them, ponder them, and hold them in our hearts.

In this reading, The Good Doctor has arisen from his pallet to straighten out the issue of perverse incentives, tax cuts, and the issue of why people hire people and bother to be productive in the first place. 
We know that it has become tiresome for Saint Thomas to be bothered with stamping out ignorance in his old age, and value his contribution all the more because of his patience. 

Please remain standing until the end of the reading from the scriptures:

The first big cut in income taxes came in the 1920s, at the urging of Secretary of the Treasury Andrew Mellon. He argued that a reduction of the tax rates would increase the tax revenues. What actually happened?

In 1920, when the top tax rate was 73 percent, for people making over $100,000 a year, the federal government collected just over $700 million in income taxes-- and 30 percent of that was paid by people making over $100,000. After a series of tax cuts brought the top rate down to 24 percent, the federal government collected more than a billion dollars in income tax revenue-- and people making over $100,000 a year now paid 65 percent of the taxes.

How could that be? The answer is simple: People behave differently when tax rates are high as compared to when they are low. With low tax rates, they take their money out of tax shelters and put it to work in the economy, benefitting themselves, the economy and government, which collects more money in taxes because incomes rise.

High tax rates which very few people are actually paying, because of tax shelters, do not bring in as much revenue as lower tax rates that people are paying. It was much the same story after tax cuts during the Kennedy administration, the Reagan administration and the Bush Administration.

The New York Times reported in 2006: "An unexpectedly steep rise in tax revenues from corporations and the wealthy is driving down the projected budget deficit this year."

Expectations are in the eyes of the beholder-- and in the rhetoric of the demagogues. If class warfare is more important to some politicians than collecting more revenue when there is a deficit, then let the voters know that.


The man has spoken.


Thus endeth the reading from The Gospel According To Saint Thomas.

You may be seated.

We do not ordinarily show videos on pull-down screens here at the Chapel of Saint Sowell, but in this case, as an aid to worship, we have included the following:
This is a video of someone who just....doesn't....get it.  If you have children in The Chapel who can't view this type of material without laughing, please take them to the nursery now. 

This is why Our Gospel must be spread throughout our land, the world, even to D.C. and The New York Times. 
 


Thank you all for attending our services this morning. Let's all go to Luby's !

Cedric Katesby Lives ! ! !

For about the last two years, I have been blessed/cursed with a commenter who calls himself Cedric Katesby.  He lives somewhere in South Korea. 
Go here for a sample of Cedric in action.  Cedric believes that we are causing the earth to get warmer.  I don't.  I think earth's temperature is on a natural cycle.  I believe that there was a Medieval Warm Period.  I believe that it was once warm enough to grow potatoes in Greenland.  I believe that Al Gore's "Hockey Stick" is more like a little pruning hook. 
Cedric believes otherwise.  We have argued with each other for about two years.

Then East Anglia University's Climate Research Unit's emails were hacked, revealing efforts to "hide the decline" of warming.  Much nastiness was uncovered about the peer-review process. 
Then the Copenhagen Climate Change conference was a dud. 
I stopped hearing from Cedric.  Dr. Ralph, among others, wondered where Cedric went off to, and my theory was that he might have lost his funding.  I didn't think I'd ever hear from Cedric again.   
A few weeks ago, I got an email.  Cedric wanted to send me some books.  I gave him my work address, and didn't think much more about it. 

The other day, I got two large boxes of books in the mail from Barnes & Noble, compliments of Mr. Katesby in South Korea.  Most of them are about Climate Change, some are about skepticism in general (Cedric still can't believe that I'm not a religious fundamentalist) and some are about other issues where we've disagreed.  A few of them he just thought I would like !
It's the most extreme example of true dedication to a cause that I've ever seen.  I'm guesstimating that Cedric spent more than $200 on these books. 

Included are:

1) Atmospheric Science at NASA: A History

2) Climate Change: Picturing The Science

3) Doubt Is Their Product: How Industry's Assault on Science Threatens Your Health

4) Alternative Healthcare: A Comprehensive Guide

5) Bad Astronomy: Misconceptions And Misuses Reavealed

6) Creationisms Trojan Horse: The Wedge Of Intelligent Design

7) Denialism: How Irrational Thinking Hinders Scientific Progress, Harms The Planet, and Threatens Our Lives.

8) The Cigarette Century: The Rise, Fall, and Deadly Persistence of the Product That Defined America

9) The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark

10) The Faith Healers

11) Why People Believe Weird Things: Pseudoscience, Superstition, and Other Confusions of Our Time

12) Case Closed: Lee Harvey Oswald and the Assasination of JFK

13) The Discovery Of Global Warming

A couple of things about these.  "The Demon-Haunted World" by Carl Sagan is one of my favorites, and I read it for the third time last year.  I've already been loaned to a friend.  "Case Closed" by Posner is one of the few best-selling books on the Kennedy assasination to more or less agrees with the Warren Commission Report.  (Mrs. Sepulchre is a Kennedy assasination expert, and she takes issue with many of Mr. Posner's findings.)  "The Faith Healers", by James Randi, is a Prometheus Press classic that I read soon after it was released (late 1980's?) but I look forward to revisiting it. 

It's going to take me years to read all of this stuff.  I'll probably start with the NASA title, then go to "The Discovery Of Global Warming" since those are the two most intimidating volumes. 

Cedric, if you ever find yourself in Fort Worth, TX, I owe you one.  The food and drinks are on me. 

Next topic.....Think of the person you would most like to convert to your point of view on your favorite hot-button issue.  For instance, my passion right now is freedom and liberty. 

If I were to mail 13 books to "convert" someone to Libertarianism, I would probably select:

1) Free To Choose, by Milton Friedman

2) Modern Times, by Paul Johnson

3) Mao's Last Revolution, by Roderick MacFarquhar

4) Libertarianism: A Primer, by David Boaz

5) Radicals For Capitalism: by Brian Doherty

6) Eat The Rich, Parliament Of Whores, and Holidays In Hell, by P.J. O'Rourke

7) Hamilton's Curse, by Thomas J. DiLorenzo

8) What It Means To Be A Libertarian, by Charles Murray

9) Basic Economics, by Thomas Sowell

10) Economics In One Lesson, by Henry Hazlitt

11) I, Pencil, by Leonard Read

12) The Revolution, by Ron Paul

13) The Price Of Everything, by Russ Roberts

Any other suggestions? 

Cedric, thanks again for the books.  We really have missed you ! 

Photographs of the books came from the Mac/Photoshop/Photography Princess. 

Ever have one of these days?

Have you ever been in charge of implementing a totally ridiculous program in your workplace? Have you ever known ahead of time which employees would give you a hard time over it?
Have you ever had to put on your game face, and charge ahead with the rollout, even though you knew that every word you were saying was totally insane?

I've had to do that before.
So has Rep. Russ Carnahan, (Mommy Party - Missouri)



Our thoughts and prayers go out to Rep. Carnahan, and we all wish him a speedy recovery.