Carnival of The Libertarians #2

Welcome to the January 20, 2008 edition of Carnival of the Libertarians. We have submissions from England, Australia, Canada, and The U.S.

I wasn't able to post every submission this time. Some were too off-topic, and I ran out of room for others. Judy at "Consent of The Governed" will be next month's host. (Hint: She's partial to posts about the rights of Home Schoolers.)
Here we go ! All comments in italics are mine.

Michael Bass presents Do we have Private Property in the USA? posted at Debt Prison, saying, "What is private property and what rights come with it? I find it interesting that this subject is never discussed by politicians. From Democrats to Republicans, the issue of private property and the rights of ownership are seldom mentioned. However, the interpretation of private property is probably the single most important judgment a society administers in determining its destiny. All Laws revolve around a society’s perception of the rights to private property." - Plus, our freedom to selfishly "own" things like land and businesses is the primary difference between the U.S. and Mexico. Mexican Immigrants "Voting With Their Feet" is proof positive of the superiority of an ownership society.

Jon Swift presents When Steroids Are Banned, Only Cheaters Will Have Steroids posted at Jon Swift, saying, "The real heroes in this story are the baseball players who were not afraid to take steroids because of some old-fashioned notion of fair play." - Jon makes a compelling argument in this Modest Proposal. But just because I occasionally write about sports doesn't mean the baseball players beat me up in high school, Jon. (See his post for details....)

GrrlScientist presents ScienceDebate2008: In Search of a Science-literate Leader posted at Living the Scientific Life, saying, "While our elected officials have been distracted with petty bickering over non-issues such as the Terri Schiavo fiasco and the teaching of evolution in public schools, they have been waving their hands helplessly in the face of Hurricane Katrina, and the suffering of many Americans has been needlessly prolonged and ignored. In short, we need a science-literate president." - GrrlScientist doesn't understand that this is a LIBERTARIAN Blog Carnival. Does she think that Libertarians want to increase government funding for research????? No. We want it done more efficiently in the private sector. However, GrrlScientist is a very good writer, and we need more GrrlScientists. And my daughter wants to be a GrrlScientist. And it would be nice to have a President who didn't really believe, in the words of Sarah Jean Cartledge (my 5th grade science teacher), that God made man out of mud pies.

GrrlScientist presents ScienceDebate2008: What Is It? posted at Living the Scientific Life, saying, - According to her site, "GrrlScientist is a female evolutionary biologist, ornithologist, aviculturist and writer. She is a native of the Pacific Northwest who relocated from Seattle to NYC with her parrots after earning her PhD. She was awarded a two-year postdoctoral fellowship researching the molecular phylogeny of the parrots of the South Pacific islands. She now is a struggling writer."

Once again, her post has absolutely nothing to do with Libertarianism, but I'm intrigued with the idea of relocating from Seattle to New York City with a lot of parrots. How would you accomplish that? On a plane? In a car? Or could you mail their cages to New York, and just tell the parrots to fly home?

Howard Ditkoff presents Instant Runoff Voting Excluded: An Unreasonable Omission from An Unreasonable Man posted at SystemsThinker.com Blog, saying, "An Unreasonable Man is a great movie about Ralph Nader. But I was deeply disappointed by the fact that it focused deeply on how Ralph’s “spoiler” role in the 2000 election tarnished his legacy, while failing to mention the flaws in our election system that unnecessarily allow for “spoilers” to exist. Instant Runoff Voting, which I helped pass in Ferndale, Michigan in 2004, is a pivotal measure that can open up a fair playing field to more voices in our political system by eliminating the “spoiler” problem.....This issue should be of interest to Libertarians as well as any who support third parties." - Howard believes that Instant Runoff Voting would help us avoid hypothetical situations like Clinton, Bush, and Perot running for office, Bush and Perot splitting the majority conservative vote, and Clinton winning with the minority remainder (less than 50%).

I also included another link from Howard's site here that gives more details on what he did in Michigan.

blewsdawg presents Atlas Smiled (Is Ron Paul a Top Tier Candidate Yet?) posted at Infrequently Asked Questions, saying, "The Lame Stream Media may never understand that the current polling methods fail to capture the opinions of a large section of voters. That's okay, though. I'd like to see them caught by surprise." - I like to see it happen also, Dawg. See my post about Hillary flying under the radar. I'm also frustrated by questions, surveys, polls, etc. that only give a Republican/Democrat, Liberal/Conservate option. There's another continuum out here ! It's called Big State/Little State, or Libertarian/Populist.

Blewsdawg will be hosting Carnival of The Libertarians in March.

Sholom Anarchy presents Stumping for Ron Paul again posted at Anarcho-Judaism, saying, "The economics come after the video interlude." - but he says a LOT more in the post. Sholom Anarchy presents himself as the "Anarchist Rabbi", and he's worth reading. Give yourself plenty of time. I wish this guy had a synagogue.

Logan Flatt, CFA presents PowerWealth.com's 2007 Person of the Year: U.S. Congressman Ron Paul of Texas posted at PowerWealth.com, saying, "PowerWealth.com's 2007 Person of the Year is U.S. Congressman (and Medical Doctor) Ron Paul from Texas, who is actively running the most revolutionary campaign for President in modern U.S. history. Here's why Dr. Paul deserves the honor." - Instead of Vladimir Putin??? (See Time magazine) or Al Gore??? (See Time magazine for info on Putin's runner-up.) This is a great post. I'd already found it via Stumbleupon, but was glad Logan submitted it here.

Doug Ragan presents A Simple Fix For The US Economy posted at I'm A Pundit Too, saying, "We have had too many short term fixes from our government. It is time to look long term in respect to interest rates and taxes." - Doug has some great suggestions, none of which will ever see the light of day. Taking the long view, or doing nothing at all, would be highly effective, but doesn't work well with politicians who need to deliver chest-thumping rhetoric every two years.

Free Markets

billspaced presents Top Ten Mitt Romney Lies posted at Rants 'n Reviews: Observations from a real conservative OR Rubbing slightly more salt into the wound. - Bill's post predates Romney's promise to throw a jazillionbamillionzillion dollars at the auto industry in Michigan. So let's make it Eleven....

NotYourDaddy presents A Free Market Approach To Illegal Immigration, posted at Government is not your Daddy.. - Either the link was broken on the post that NYD submitted, or NYD has repented of whatever he wrote. So I selected another post from his site. This is Good Stuff about the Illegal Immigrant issue - the root cause, the current problem, and a good solution.

T Ellis presents Abolish the Welfare State posted at evanescent, saying, "A critique of socialism and the welfare state, in favour of individual freedom, capitalism, and laissez-faire politics." - Evanescent is one of those brilliant British Politics/Capitalism/Religion sites. I'm also providing a link to something he wrote about proposed Salary Caps. How is it that England has all these great Libertarian sites?

Carole G. McKay presents The ABC's of 2008 posted at McKay Today, saying, "It's so much more than the economy" - and here's my favorite paragraph from Carole's post: "Yesterday I was listening to a special report on National Public Radio. It was an interview with a man in Massachusetts who sells typewriters. Yes, that's right. Typewriters. Not computers. What he said was that there is a certain percentage of his business that is the 16-24 year olds who want a typewriter. What he is hearing from these young people is that while they enjoy the slowed pace, the sound of the keys striking the page and even the bell at the end of each line...it's the absence of temptation when at the keyboard to access the internet that allows them more focused attention and less stress."

I might need a typewriter.

Limited Government

Chris presents I am a Homegrown Terrorist posted at Gratuitous Common Sense, saying, "I mean every word of it. I will use force to resist a government that intrudes upon my freedom, as noted in the Constitution." - I'm not going to say much about Chris. He obviously has guns and is not afraid to use them.

DWSUWF presents Curing libertarian political impotence - a prescription for Electile Dysfunction posted at Divided We Stand United We Fall, saying, "If the libertarian "divided government vote" is shown to swing the 2008 presidential election as it did the Congressional outcome in 2006, then libertarians will no longer be inchoate, their message no longer diffused, and their political clout no longer flaccid. As long as the bulk of the electorate remain polarized and balanced, even a small percentage libertarian swing vote organized around divided government will be enough for libertarians to display the biggest swinging political "hammer" in town." - DWSUWF stands for "Divided We Stand, United We Fall" (You have to think about it for a minute....) I look forward to reading every word this man has ever typed. This site is what God and Al Gore had in mind when they invented the internet.

NotYourDaddy presents Back to Basics « Government is not your Daddy. posted at Government is not your Daddy.. - This is the second submission from Not Your Daddy. Here he simply provides a well-written statement of the obvious: that there are things the private sector can do better than government. Things that are obvious to everyone but Democrats, most Republicans, all Populists, the majority of voters, etc....

Shaun Connell presents UK Gun Ban posted at The Rebirth of Freedom Foundation, saying, "The UK banned guns in 1996. The end result was radical increases in crime." - Check out the little picture on the bottom right side bar, Shaun. Usually a picture is worth a thousand words, but your post is better than my picture.

Phil B. presents Illegal Immigration « Phil for Humanity posted at Phil for Humanity, saying, "With all the politicians talking about illegal immigration, I thought it would be a good idea to review the advantages and disadvantages of illegal immigrants." - Good post. The only unanswered question is whether illegal immigration would be a problem if we didn't have our current entitlements system. Wouldn't Open Borders be nice?

Sholom Anarchy presents 21st Century's most treasonous American shits on Constitution again posted at Anarcho-Judaism, saying, "Rights are not given, they are fought for and exercised!" - More from The Anarchist Rabbi. I really, really like this guy, and have pre-ordered a copy of his memoirs from Amazon. See his Blogspot Profile link for details.

DWSUWF presents Ronny - We hardly knew ye. posted at Divided We Stand United We Fall, saying, "Ron Paul is a fatally flawed candidate. Don't get me wrong, I am a Paul supporter, I sent him some money, I may send him some more, and I am certainly going to vote for him in the California primary. I'd like to see Paul stick it out through super Tuesday - if only to see whether his constituency can be organized into something that can be politically effective in the post-Ron Paul era (which started after the New Hampshire primary)." - Yep. After the racism charges, and the non-performance in New Hampshire, he's toast.

Samuel Bryson presents Free Market Economy/Classical Liberalism Vs. The Welfare State – Which is the better ideal? posted at Total Wellbeing. - Ok, we're starting to look like the U.N. around here....Mr. Bryson is from Australia. Here he offers us an attack on Sweden's Welfare State - the Sainted Welfare state that is always mentioned by fans of Big Government. "Total Wellbeing" is another site that I'm going to totally devour as soon as I get all of this stuff posted. This guy is sharp.

Personal Freedom

NotYourDaddy presents There Ought to be a Law! -- Or Ought There? posted at Government is not your Daddy.. - Here's a 3rd Not Your Daddy post. It's not right to post it, because other submissions from other bloggers have been deleted for space reasons. It's also not right that we're subsidizing the Prison, Social Worker, and Corrections Industries by locking up people for victimless crimes, as Not Your Daddy says.

John Crenshaw presents Mindless Zombies Attack Will Smith, And I’m Not Talking About His New Movie posted at Dominate Your Life, saying, "You may or may not have heard of the recent comments Will Smith made about Adolf Hitler in an interview with The Daily Record in the U.K., in which he said, “Even Hitler didn’t wake up going, ‘let me do the most evil thing I can do today. I think he woke up in the morning and using a twisted, backwards logic, he set out to do what he thought was ‘good’. Stuff like that just needs reprogramming.”" - Yep. Sometimes the greatest harm is done by those who will swear that they're doing The Lord's Work. Check out the "Gott Mit Uns" on the Wehrmacht belt buckles

Carole G. McKay presents Iowa and Us posted at McKay Today, saying, "What our leaders can tell us about ourselves and how "conscious" our choices really are." - here's a line from Carole that jumped out at me...." Earlier today I heard someone say in referring to two other people, "They are ruining my life." Well, no one has that power. Only we have the power to create from, or destroy through disregard, the life we have been gifted."

ChrisJ presents A Fairer FairTax posted at 8 Short Years, saying, "I would also be interested in hosting a carnival on my blog." - Ok, Chris, as long as you understand that putting all this together takes some effort. Here's my post on Tax Reform. Not as concise as yours, and it probably makes less sense.

Chris has an excellent post about Gridlock, and its benefits. (The Force is Strong In This One, Fellow Jedi....) He also has better eyes than we 46-year olds, and needs to go into his HTML code and switch to a bigger typeface.

Holly Ord presents Mike Gravel, the Only Candidate I Can Support posted at Menstrual Poetry. - In which Holly offers up a prayer to Saint Jude, The Patron Saint of Lost Causes....


Tym Machine presents Mes vues sur la politique...My views on politics...: Résultats de recherche pour freedom of speech posted at Mes vues sur la politique...My views on politics..., saying, "In this blog I share my personal views tainted with my own personal reality, my country Canada, my province of origin, Quebec. Best regards to everyone, hope you will enjoy it." - Now we're hearing from Canada. He has good things to say about Freedom of Speech in Canada, especially in light of what's going on with the Human Rights Commissions up there.

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of carnival of the libertarians using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page. The next host will be Judy at "Consent Of The Governed".

Technorati tags: carnival of the libertarians, blog carnival.

Harper's Magazine, February 2008, An Annotation Free Environment

About a month ago, I posted something about the advertisements in Harper's magazine. I called it "Saving The Earth By Selling Cars". I had noticed that the majority of the full page ads had a Green theme, and stated that "If Harper's readers want to support the environment and Toyota at the same time, there's only one way they can do so: Buy a Toyota, park it someplace, and throw away the keys." Lower emissions be damned.

My point was that the ads were centered around the theme of Liberal Guilt. Guilt over emissions. Guilt over consumption. Guilt for even existing in a space that could otherwise be occupied by The Mississippi Delta Doodoo Dingo, or other unlikely critters.

I thought it was freakin' brilliant.

Unfortunately, I made the mistake of praising a few things in that issue of Harper's. I've always enjoyed the "Annotations" section of the magazine, in which they take a press release, a campaign brochure, a map, or anything other printed media, and explain every aspect of it. This is usually done with a critial eye. When I visit Border's or B&N, I always read the Annotation section of Harpers even when I'm not going to buy the magazine.
Well, I screwed up when I linked to the Meredith Broussard annotation of a peanut allergies pamphlet, where Broussard takes aim at what can only be called an allergy hysteria, and declares that most of it is baloney.

Every word that I wrote about Saving The Earth By Selling Cars was ignored. People were Googling "Peanut Allergy", "Food Allergy", "Harper's", "Meredith Broussard", and "Peanut Allergy Denial" (as in Holocaust Denial, fer heaven's sake....) and arriving here. At least a couple of hundred of them, which by humble Whited Sepulchre standards is like filling a Mexico City Soccer Stadium.
Only two visitors left comments. They were not happy that I was praising Ms. Broussard or anything else about Harpers. (For those with a morbid curiosity, you can read "Reason" magazine's explanation of why we didn't have this panic 30 years ago. Follow the money.)

If someone merely linking to Meredith Broussard gets hit with a Blogalanche, what must the Harper's mailbox look like? I made a mental note to check the letters section, and to see what they would Annotate in the next issue. Would the Annotators prevail, and continue throwing stink bombs into another Temple of Panic? Or would they wimp out and attack George Bush or some other "safe" Republican target?

It was with joyful anticipation that I picked up the February 2008 issue of Harper's.

There is no Annotations section in the February 2008 issue of Harper's.

Coincidence? I think not.

Oh well. I'll annotate this month's ads in a later post.

P.S. - In the words of comedian Chris Rock, "We got so much food in America, we're allergic to food. Allergic to food! Hungry people ain't allergic to s**t. You think anyone in Rwanda's got a f***in' lactose intolerance?!"

Another P.S. - Mama, I apologize for including the Chris Rock profanity. But he's very funny, and Daddy would've loved him.

Shameless Whoring For Links

I've long held the opinion that Samizdata is the best political blog on this or any other planet.
I wrote some Outhouse Poetry about them a few days ago, intending to post it this weekend, along with a title like "Shameless Whoring for Links". I listed and linked all the Samizdata-like things I'd blogged about and pounded some rhymes onto the ends of each line - essentially asking them to add me to their blogroll.

It was certain to get Samizdata's attention. They were sure to link me.

Wouldn't you know it, some time this morning Perry De Havilland, part of the Samizdata brain trust (and Free Market demigod), linked to one of my rants about the Locally Grown movement.
A great work of poetry had been rendered unnecessary. I mean, what are the odds against me writing an epic and then having someone on the other side of the world ruin the ending? It's like God answering a prayer before it can be prayed.

It was cruel in a way. I had even emailed Perry to ask how to pronounce Samizdata. (It's Sam Iz Dah Tah, BTW....)

For the benefit of future scholars of the Poetic Arts, here's what I had written. Only the last line is changed to reflect current events.

When I began this little blog
To dissipate the Statist fog,
And fight against Bill Clinton’s bride,
My other goal was to provide
A Libertarian Intifada,
So I could be on Samizdata.

I said Thomas Sowell’s great!!
And criticized the Nanny State !!
I said Hayek’s pretty cool !!
And called Lou Dobbs a freakin’ fool !!
Yet all’s in vain because there’s not a
Single link from Samizdata.

I’m on Carnivals Galore,
Plus Satan’s Ho and Soobdujore.
Texas papers let me shine,
And so did Baptist friends of mine.
But there’s just one Big Enchilada,
That Limey blogroll - Samizdata.

I quoted Popper and Von Mises,
Laughed at those who think they’re Jesus,
I quoted Friedman (who’s now dead),
Plus, “Atlas Shrugged” and “Fountainhead”.
I get hits, but links? No, Nada.
Still no links from Samizdata..

But now I lay me down for sleeping,
And pray the Lord my soul is keeping,
‘Cause if I die before I’m waking
The Lord can have my soul for taking
To Heaven, Hell, or other strata,
My Blog is now on Samizdata !

It's obvious that I'm from the same state that produced William Faulkner, Eudora Welty, Richard Wright, and Tennessee Williams, isn't it?
But yes, they finally linked me. I'm not on the Blogroll yet, but what they did is great. I'm getting hits from all over Europe.
Hit the last verse of my doggerel, and I'm the "Good Of The Planet" link on the post about Third World Farmers.

NOT Locally Grown. Not Even Close

Joel Stein has a hilarious piece in this week's Time magazine.
He takes the "locally grown" fad to the opposite extreme.....

To prove how wrong the farm-to-table movement is, I cooked a dinner purely of farm-to-airplane food. Nothing I made was grown within 3,000 miles of where I live in Los Angeles. And to completely give the finger to the locavores, I bought the entire meal in the local-food movement's most treasured supermarket, the one that has huge locally grown signs next to the fruits and vegetables: Whole Foods.

Here's more from Mr. Stein, stating that the locally grown movement is about self-denial.
I suffer, therefore, I am superior:

My distavore meal was more a smorgasbord than a smart fusion of cultures, but I still ate the way only a very rich person could have dined just 15 years ago. The local-food movement is deeply Luddite, part of the green lobby that measures improvement by self-denial more than by actual impact—considering shipping food in containers is often more energy-efficient than a local farmer trucking small amounts that are then purchased on a separate weekend farmers'-market trip you take in your SUV. So I'm going to keep buying food from my foreign neighbors. Because it's the only way we Americans learn about other countries, other than by bombing them.

We've already seen an era when everything was locally grown, according to Don Boudreaux at Cafe Hayek.

It was called "The Dark Ages".

There are plenty of good reasons to buy locally grown food.

Conservation isn't one of them.

Signage from EcoSherpa

Also, Perry De Havilland of Samizdata linked to this post some time last night. It's a piece called "Dear Third World Farmer", which looks at the unexamined impact of buying locally.

If you don't really understand what's wrong with Farm Subsidies, click here for a rundown of what's wrong with the current farm bill.

And speaking of another group of Farmers that need help, check out another post of mine on the same topic: "The Farmers of Manhattan Need Your Money".

Muslims Against Sharia

Check these folks out: Muslims Against Sharia

They've been commenting on my site for a while. They've re-translated The Koran, and arrived at a much less violent, much less divisive volume. They're taking the "Religion of Peace" thing very seriously over there.

Incidentally, my site is becoming an ecumenical hotbed of those with seemingly contradictory Blog names - see earlier links and commentary from The Progressive Baptist and the Bacon Eating Atheist Jew.

If Muslims can be against Sharia, and Baptists can be Progressive, and Jews can eat bacon, then I look forward to hearing from:

1) The Total Immersion Methodist

2) The Free Will Presbyterian

3) The Caffeinated Mormon

4) The Fundamentalist Unitarian

5) And last, The Episcopalian on Welfare

addition from the morning of January 17th....

6) I hope I get comments from The Flamboyant Quaker

7) The Gnostic Agnostic

8) The Anxious Buddhist

9) The Obscure Scientologist Who Has Never Been In A Movie

Hillary, Fear Of A Black Planet, Yellow Dog Democrats

Former Clinton advisor Dick Morris has some interesting observations about how The Clintons will play the race card.
(The only way I'll have a dog in that fight is if Huckabee gets the nomination or Ron Paul dies, but anyway....)
The essence of Morris's argument is that Obama will take something like 80% of the African-American vote. Why that number isn't higher is God's own mystery.
So The Clintons have more to gain by writing off the Black vote altogether, and prey on the Fear Of A Black Planet sentiments of aging Yellow Dog Democrats in the deep south and elsewhere. (That's my prediction of who they'll aim for, not Morris's.)
All of this will be done by surrogates, of course.

If you believe that The Clintons could never do something like this, please use the comment field below.

BTW, The Clintons ran unopposed in Michigan last night and a large number of people showed up for the sole purpose of voting "uncommitted". Exit polling has revealed that a large number of those were minority votes. Here's the always excellent Jay Cost, from the Horserace blog:

As for the Democratic side - the big story is Hillary Clinton losing the African American vote to "uncommitted." The exit poll pegged African Americans going against Clinton, 68% to 30%. It appears that opposition by African Americans induced a split in Wayne County (where Detroit is), 50% to Hillary, 45% to uncommitted. People in the media are going to connect these results to the racial kerfuffle of the last few days - and they are partially right to do so. But I think there is more to it than this. Since his Iowa victory, Obama's numbers among African American voters have been trending upward. Tonight's results are another indication that African Americans are breaking his way. The Clinton campaign should be worried about this. It appears as if Obama might be able to take an important part of the traditional Democratic coalition. He is thus moving beyond the relatively narrow appeal of previous "insurgent" Democratic candidates like Bill Bradley and Gary Hart. This is bad news for Clinton.

Barack Obama, barring some massive ethical lapse, is going to be President of The United States one day. Maybe not this time, running against someone who thinks HE was the First Black President, or Monica Lewinsky's boyfriend's wife, but it's going to happen.

Boys With Guns - Dr. Leonard Sax

The January 12th issue of MacLean's has an interview with Dr. Leonard Sax, author of a new book called Boys Adrift.
In addition to advocating separate schools for boys and girls, starting boys a year later in kindergarten, and other hot sports opinions, Dr. Sax lays out this gem:

MacLean's: A lot of schools ban any kind of pretend gun play, sword fighting and so on. Is this bad for boys?

Sax: Policies which ban children from playing with pretend swords or toy guns are not grounded in any research findings demonstrating that those policies accomplish anything good. Prohibiting children from playing with toy swords or guns does not decrease the likelihood of any bad outcome, indeed it accomplishes no useful end. The school could have taken the opportunity to build imaginative play around concepts like teamwork and heroism. Instead, schools too often simply endorse traditional girls' activities while condemning traditional boys' activities.

When asked about "zero tolerance" policies, he goes on: "Zero-tolerance policies essentially say the entire school is out of bounds for anything that smells of boys. The result, too often, is boys who find a vent for those impulses by spending hours sitting in front of their video game consoles, banging away on the game controller."

Or Blogging

Ezra Levant, Hero

Free Speech advocate Ezra Levant is a Canadian publisher, blogger, and free speech advocate. (I've been in Canada for about a week, and there's plenty to write about up there. This should be out of my system soon....)

Mr. Levant has been hauled before The Thought Police The Alberta Human Rights Commission because he dared to re-publish the controversial Danish cartoons of Mohammed.

This address to his Kangaroo Court is the most devastating speech I've ever read. I can't imagine what the politically correct Guardians of Sensitivity must have felt like when this was over. Click here for a link to Ezra Levant's site, and the full text of his address.

Click here for the Samizdata post on Ezra Levant. I can't remember, or find where I read about this first, but Samizdata was all over it.

Click here to see all of the Mohammed cartoons.

Updates from January 15th: "Big City Lib" has an interesting summary of additional links here.

And here's Barbara Amiel, of Maclean's, recounting her experience with the Ontario Human Rights Commission. (This was in my bedtime reading, where I was plowing through the remainder of everything I purchased to read on the plane home from Canada. Learning about these Canadian Human Rights Commissions has been almost like learning a new word. Everytime I read something now, there they are....) She writes "Whether stupid or prejudiced, true of false, suppressing opinion is always bad. Seven of my columns are used as examples of Islamophobia in the report. I want to sue the authors myself for defamation, but my view of their view would not be actionable. One would think most Canadians intelligent enough to grasp that freedom doesn't mean you are only free to express nice thoughts. Freedom is not a maple-syrup nut cake to be sliced up: you cannot have some freedom of speech, or freedom of speech only for those people you like. By definition, freedom is indivisible."

Jerry Jones and Hillary Clinton

Jerry Jones knows what it's like to win a Super Bowl. He knows what it's like to win three of them. He loves it.

But dang it, people gave coach Jimmy Johnson all the credit. Johnson knew who to draft, because he knew the players. He'd coached against them in Miami.

Early on, Jones wanted to walk the sidelines in a ball cap, carrying a clipboard with a whistle around his neck. (He'd played some college ball, you know....) But he never got true General Manager respect.
This led to a parting of the ways with Jimmy Johnson. He'd already dumped the now-sainted Tom Landry. Then, after Johnson, Jones got rid of Barry Switzer, Chan Gailey, and Dave Campo. Bill Parcells resigned, and now Wade Phillips is on the hot seat.

Jerry's building a new stadium that will be the 8th wonder of the world (within sight of my house, BTW.) He's kept the team in the public eye by a combination of great publicity and signing controversial free agents. He's obviously a brilliant man, but The Gods aren't going to let him win a playoff game. (It's been 12 years now.) Why? Because he wants it too much.

You can get the impression that Jerry would crawl through fire and water to be taken seriously as a Football Person, instead of a money and numbers person. That's why The Gods interfere and cause Tony Romo to fumble field goal snaps (last year), or let the lesser of two Mannings have a great game (tonight).

Hillary Clinton knows what it's like to win a Presidential Election. She knows what it's like to win two of them. She loves it.

But dang it, people gave her husband Bill all the credit. Bill knows how to connect with people. Bill can shake your hand and make you remember it the rest of your life. It's something about focus and eye contact.

Early on, Hillary tried to tackle health care. She failed. She saw conspiracies in strange places. Things didn't work out well for any of her political initiatives. She got no respect, despite being the one who kept Bill anchored to our planet. People didn't really see the Clinton Presidency as a partnership.

So Hillary was given a "safe" senate seat in New York, as opposed to running in Arkansas (her previous residence) or Illinois (her home state). In the short time that she's served, she's done an okay job. Reached out across the aisle, etc etc etc. She's kept herself in the public eye by speaking out on every imaginable topic.

And now she's running for President. She's obviously a brilliant woman, but The Gods aren't going to let her win. Why? Because she wants it too much. People think that if she doesn't win this prize, she'll go stark raving nuts.

So The Gods trot out the first electable African-American Presidential candidate in our history. He's likeable, smooth, and charismatic. He's a quick thinker and a good debater. His family stepped out of a storybook. And you can't, as a Fundamentalist Democrat, criticize him without seeming mildly racist.

Where the heck did Barack Obama come from?
Well, why did Tony Romo drop that ball last year?

Both Hillary and Jerry could bring some more humility to the table. I'm not superstitious or anything, but this only happens to people when The Gods get pissed off. You can look it up.

The Royal Ontario Museum - Amazing

I've been in Toronto all week.
I went through the Royal Ontario Museum during my last trip to Canada. They have an incredible collection of STUFF - Birch bark and seal skin canoes, totem poles, and clothing from Canada's first inhabitants. Thousands of Chinese artifacts, brought back to Canada by Catholic missionaries based in Toronto.
The building used to be a typical, traditional 1930's stone and marble civic building.
The Powers That Be voted to deviate from the master expansion plan, and for the latest addition, put what looks like a massive salt crystal in the middle of the building.
When I was in Toronto a year ago, this expansion was all I-beams and girders, so I made a point of going by again on this trip.
Like it or not, it's an amazing piece of architecture.

Boris Johnson for Mayor of London

An Eton-educated libertarian with a reputation as a bumbling, fumbling comedian is running for mayor of London. Here is Boris Johnson, as quoted in Time magazine: "I'm a libertarian. I think people should get on with their lives as far as possible independently of bossiness and intrusion of all kinds."





Contrast that approach with this quote from Hillary Clinton: I have a million ideas. I can't do all of them. I happen to think in running a disciplined campaign--especially when it comes to fiscal responsibility, which is what I'm trying to do--everything I propose I have to pay for. You know, you go to my website, you'll see what I would use to pay for what I've proposed. So I've got a lot of ideas, I just obviously can't propose them all. I can't afford them all. The country can't afford them all."

Here's Johnson on "Convictions", as quoted by the always interesting Catherine Mayer :

Readers not yet acquainted with his signature style will get a flavor of it from this verbatim response to TIME's question about whether he considers himself a conviction politician. (For full impact, the passage must be declaimed in the poshest of English accents.) "I certainly have a range of convictions. Not for anything serious. God. I don't have convictions actually by the way. No, no, no. Sorry, I don't have any convictions in a court of law, apart from speeding when I was very young. But I have plenty of political convictions. Can you rescue me? God."

Johnson and Governator Arnold Schwarzenegger once addressed a Tory party conference (Arnold by video link), and Johnson was doing one of his comedy routines. Arnold loudly objected to both the content and the delivery style, not knowing his microphone was switched on.....Johnson later gave this mock apology: "A man not famed for his eloquence found fault with my delivery and general mastery of public speaking. And these are things I obviously have to overcome."

In Boris Johnson's case, the apple didn't fall very far from the tree. Here's a line from his father, Stanley Johnson, a former member of the European Parliament. The elder Johnson defines Libertarianism as "the fight against crooks and nannies looking into nooks and crannies."

(All of this is from Catherine Mayer, in Time.)

There's been some controversy surrounding Johnson's refusal to be trumped by anyone playing a victim card. See Samizdata for details. Most of the comments below the Samizdata post are worthy of printing, commiting to memory, and memorializing on a needlepoint sampler. (Someone actually uses the phrase "Crikey Moses", which is nice to hear outside of a Harry Potter novel.)

Here's one last Johnson quote, about his wonderful tendency to say whatever comes into his head: "Things come into my head that I find simply impossible not to say and then all sorts of chaos breaks out. But I think it's much better that way than endlessly pre-rehearsing, sanitizing, homogenizing, pasteurizing everything you say to the point of macrobiotic extinction."

As someone who has watched the over-sanitized U.S. presidential debates to the point of drooling on the rug, I hope Boris Johnson gets elected Mayor of London, bumbling, fumbling, or not.

May his tribe increase.

Benny Hinn: "Let The Bodies Hit The Floor"

Benny Hinn set to a soundtrack from Drowning Pool.
This is an old video, but it's new to me. I want to be able to find this at a moment's notice for the rest of my life.
I'll never again hear this song the same way.

Congratulations, Mary ! ! !

I'm working in Canada this week, but got a very excited phone call from my daughter back home in Texas.
She got an acceptance letter in the mail today from Texas A&M, where she plans to go to veterinary school. Looks like we'll have an Aggie in the house.
Go Mary ! ! !
Later on, I'll do a post about where to mail the college fund donations.

Corpse Wheeled to Check-Cashing Store Leads to 2 Arrests

See Comments below....These guys deserve a medal for trying to save $355.00 from the grasp of the government beast.

Corpse Wheeled to Check-Cashing Store Leads to 2 Arrests
By BRUCE LAMBERT and CHRISTINE HAUSER
Even for the once-notorious Hell’s Kitchen neighborhood, it may have been a first: Two men were arrested on Tuesday after pushing a corpse, seated in an office chair, along the sidewalk to a check-cashing store to cash the dead man’s Social Security check, the police said.
When Virgilio Cintron, 66, died at his apartment at 436 West 52nd Street recently, his roommate and a friend saw an opportunity to cash his $355 check, the police said.
They did not go about it the easy way, the police said, choosing a ruse that resembled the plot of “Weekend at Bernie’s,” a film about two young men who prop up their dead employer to pretend that he is alive.
“Hell’s Kitchen has a rich history,” said Paul J. Browne, a police spokesman, “but this is one for the books.”
There was no sign of foul play in Mr. Cintron’s death, he added.
The roommate, James P. O’Hare, and his friend, David J. Dalaia, both 65 and unemployed, placed Mr. Cintron’s body in the chair and wheeled it around the corner, south along Ninth Avenue on Tuesday afternoon, the police said. The men parked the chair with the corpse in front of Pay-O-Matic at 763 Ninth Avenue, a check-cashing business that Mr. Cintron had patronized.
They went inside to present the check, but a clerk said Mr. Cintron would have to cash it himself, and asked where he was, the police said.
“He is outside,” Mr. O’Hare said, indicating the body in the chair, according to Mr. Browne.
The two men started to bring the chair inside, but it was too late.
Their sidewalk procession had already attracted the stares of passers-by who were startled by the sight of the body flopping from side to side as the two men tried to prop it up, the police said. The late Mr. Cintron was dressed in a faded black T-shirt and blue-and-white sneakers. His pants were pulled up part of the way, and his midsection was covered by a jacket, the police said. While the two men were inside the check-cashing office, a small crowd had gathered around the chair. A detective, Travis Rapp, eating a late lunch at a nearby Empanada Mama saw the crowd and notified the Midtown North station house.
Police officers and an ambulance arrived as the two men were trying to maneuver the corpse and chair into the check-cashing office.
The two men were taken into custody and questioned. The police said they were considering charging them with check-cashing fraud.
Mr. Cintron’s body was taken to a hospital morgue. The medical examiner’s office said its preliminary assessment was that he had died of natural causes within the past 24 hours.

This leads to the question: If we can continue paying subsidies to farmers for years after they're dead, how come these guys got arrested? Mr. Cintron wasn't going to use the money, and the government woulda wasted it....

Hillary Clinton, Under The Radar

Almost every poll was wrong. Barack Obama was supposed to walk away with the New Hampshire primary. Hillary Clinton won it.

(Disclaimer - Now that Joseph Biden has pulled out of the race, if I had to vote for a Democrat, and I'm talking with a gun to my head, I'd go for Obama.)

I've only seen the polls this screwy in one other state: Louisiana.

Arch-racist and former Klan leader David Duke ran for several Louisiana ofices in the early 1990's. He was, and is, crazier than a rodeo goat. The polling was always off when Duke was in a race - the general theory being that people were ashamed to admit Duke support to a pollster. Therefore Duke always did better in the elections than anticipated.

Duke sometimes said that his support flew under the radar (i.e. couldn't be tracked).

The collected wisdom on yesterday's polling debacle is that Obama's numbers were accurate, and with a very slight surge. But Hillary had an even bigger surge among the undecideds.

I don't buy it.

What does this have to do with David Duke?

Is it possible that the support was always there for Hillary Clinton, but among people whose Political Correctness levels won't allow them to admit they don't support an African-American candidate? Not even in an exit poll, much less in a pre-election survey?

I'm not trying to imply that any of Clinton's supporters are racist. But I do believe that the polling vs. the election results prove that a lot of Clinton supporters don't want to be perceived as racist either.

Political Correctness - 1
Truth - O

Stick a Fork in Hillary....She is Done !

"Electronic Village", the best African-American Political Blog, has declared "Stick a Fork in Hillary....She is Done !"

Yesterday on Meet The Press, Mike Murphy was saying that if Hillary didn't do something differently, she would turn into "Ed Muskie in a pantsuit". I didn't get the reference until I read these guys.

Also, they have a good link/post called "How To Market Your Blog in 2008."

Ok, I've got to leave politics alone for a while. It's a long time until November.

I AM THE CHANGE CANDIDATE ! ! !

From Babblin5:

See comments about CHANGE on my previous post.

These are the biggest defenders of the Status Quo on this planet.

Dogpiling Hillary

A Black Man, A Hispanic, and A Metrosexual walk into a debate.....

(supply your own punchline.)

I listened to most of the New Hampshire Democratic Presidential Debate on the radio. Lord have mercy, Barack and Edwards were dogpiling Hillary again. They were tag-teaming that woman. Don't get me wrong, I think she would be the worst President of all the people on that stage, but it was a horrible thing to listen to.

Richardson, who is running for somebody's Vice President, was trying to play the voice of healing and reason.

Someone with a lot of patience should go through the transcript and see how many times the word "Change" was used.

Do they really think that if Democrats want "Change", Democrats will be impressed with how often a candidate uses the word?

I've live-blogged several of these things, but it's getting where I know what they're going to say before they say it.

Hate Crimes, Lionheart, and Confederate Statues

A blogger called Wolf Howling is doing his best to publicize the pending arrest of fellow blogger, Lionheart.
Lionheart's offense? (And all praise to Allah, these laws are on the books in The U.K., not the U.S.....)
He has criticized Islam, the religion of peace.
Hit the link above for details.
Hit this one for Lionheart's point of view.
Here's more from Wolf Howling:
The Public Order Act of 1986 makes it an offense to "stir up racial hatred." The act defines "racial hatred" as "hatred against a group of persons defined by reference to colour, race, nationality (including citizenship) or ethnic or national origins." The law does not define the word "hatred." The specific provisions of the Public Order Act of 1986 mentioned by the police in their e-mail to Lionheart are:
18 (1) A person who uses threatening, abusive or insulting words or behaviour, or displays any written material which is threatening, abusive or insulting, is guilty of an offence if—
(a) he intends thereby to stir up racial hatred, or(b) having regard to all the circumstances racial hatred is likely to be stirred up thereby.27 (3) A person guilty of an offence under this Part is liable— (a) on conviction on indictment to imprisonment for a term not exceeding seven years or a fine or both.

We have some idiotic laws on the books that allow for additional penalties when a lawbreaker is motivated by "hate"....i.e. hate crimes.
In the U.S., these offenses can already be prosecuted under existing law. Hate Crime legislation comes about when politicians (usually from The Left) need a wedge issue. Who's in favor of Hate?
If you favor leaving Hate Crime legislation on the books, please consider the following:
I think it was George Will who recently laid out this scenario....Three Seventeen Year Olds were recently arrested for defacing a Confederate Memorial Statue in Montgomery, Alabama. If it turns out that the three kids were African-Americans, should they receive additional penalties for committing Hate Crimes?

David Huckabee Hung A Dog

David Huckabee, Mike Huckabee's son, once hung a dog.

Elect Rudy !!! Vote for McCain !!! Go Romney !!! Nominate Dr. Ron Paul !!!

Go Dick Cheney !!! Disinterr Nixon !!! George Bush, Go for a 3rd term !

George Bush's Daddy, Go for a 2nd term !!!

Anyone but an Arkansas Fundamentalist Witch Doctor from Arkansas !

David Huckabee photo from KTHV .

Go Lincoln !!! Go Taft !!! Go Hillary Obama !!! Recruit Warren Gamaliel Harding !!! Dig up Silent Calvin Coolidge !!! Prop up Hannibal Hamlin !!! Trot Bob Dole out for another go at it !!! (Gerald Ford couldn't possibly be at room temperature yet, could he?)

How addicted to Blogging are you?

75%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?

Just hit the widget to take the test....
I'm sure I've just given a free link to something horrible, but it was a fun test to take.

Iowahawk and the caucuses

Because of tonight's Iowa Caucuses, I made a point of checking out Iowahawk.

It's the funniest stuff you'll ever read about Iowa. Or caucuses. I'm only linking to the site, not individual posts, so if you're reading this a year from now, go to his posts from December 18th, 2007, through January 3rd, 2008.

Here's a sample:
Iowa is also widely known as "The Diversity State," with its vibrant Norwegian-American community and its equally vibrant German-American community, not to mention a growing population of German-Norwegian-American halfbreed mestizos. And, according to the most recent U.S. Census, Iowa has twice as many African-Americans as New Hampshire, and both of them are keenly involved in the political process.
Iowans Are Moderate. Historically, Iowa is neither strongly Republican nor Democrat, conservative nor liberal. It is near the median in state population and in the middle of the country, with an average per-capita income. Iowans speak in flat, unaccented Midwestern English, and avoid conflict and spicy foods. Iowans have a long tradition of political centrism borne of a strong libertarian desire to steer clear of government interference, along with an equally strong desire for federal subsidy checks to help better enjoy the government non-interference.

Harper's Magazine, January 2008, Saving The Earth By Selling Cars

Once I get past Lewis Lapham's whinings in the "Notebook" section, I generally enjoy Harper's magazine. (A previous Harper's editor, Willie Morris, was a family friend in Yazoo City, Mississippi. I wasn't born yet, but I'm still loyal. The full story of Lewis Lapham's back-stabbings can be found in Morris's book "New York Days". Good stuff.)
I took the January 2008 Harper's on my vacation last week. A writer named Meredith Broussard does a great Fisking of a food allergies pamplet. You'll never take THE PEANUT ALLERGIES CRISIS ! ! ! seriously again if you read it. Equally good stuff on Mummies, Monotheism, and Brasilia.

But I noticed something missing. Harper's doesn't have much advertising, which is pleasant.
Looking at the fine print on the masthead thingy, or whatever you call it, I saw that Harper's is owned and published by the Harper's Magazine foundation.
That explains it, I thought. So they've got foundation money. Good for them.
(I also saw Walter "Let's abandon the South Vietnamese" Cronkite and George "I couldn't carry my home state in '72" McGovern on their Board of Directors. Bummer.)
I only counted eleven full-page ads in a 96-page magazine.
Five of these were for academic publishing companies, books on tape, or language learning systems. Those industries can't pay much. They almost don't count in the great scheme of keeping Harper's afloat.

One other advertisement was for Bose headphones. No price is listed on the ad, which means that if you're curious about the price, you can't afford them.

Another ad was for Renaissance Hotels & Resorts. Eclectically dressed rich people of appropriately diverse ethnic backgrounds are doing Rich Folks At The Hotel things. The layout is supposed to remind you of Raphael's painting "The School of Athens". The idea being Raphael painted the ancient world's philosophicaly sound elites. You are the new world version of the same if you stay at The Renaissance with your Bose headphones and your copy of Harper's.

Now we get to the real money. The four remaining advertisements are for 1) Toyota, 2) The Chevy Tahoe, 3) BMW, and 4) The Calvert Global Alternative Energy Fund.

What do those four ads have in common? And how can arch-capitalist outfits like automakers and mutual funds fit into the Harper's magazine of Lewis Lapham?

They're all green. They're saving the planet.

At Toyota, they're "driving toward zero waste" in all their factories. The ad shows it. They have a picture of a gloved hand reaching into a recycling bin to hold up a piece of scrap aluminum. Lordy, I'm glad Toyota finally stopped throwing away their scrap aluminum and started recycling it. It takes those Japanese a while to catch on, but they've done it! ! !
And get this: Future Toyotas will have fewer waste emissions than Nicole Richie! ! ! "Over one million Toyota and Lexus hybrids around the world have kept billions of pounds of CO₂ out of the atmosphere."
Unfortunately, if that's true, they've also put billions into the atmosphere. If Harper's readers want to support the environment and Toyota at the same time, there's only one way they can do so. Buy a Toyota, park it someplace, and throw away the keys.

Let's move on to the Chevy Tahoe. The background of this ad is green. There's a green heart-shaped leaf in the center, to show how much Chevy loves green. The Chevy Tahoe, which has A Bigger Carbon Footprint Than Al Gore's House^TM, is parked in the middle of a green forest where it looks like it might just decompose into Whole Earth Mulch any minute. This is a hybrid Tahoe, which can operate in three ways: electric power, engine power, or any combination of electric and engine power. You probably have enough leftover power to run your laptop or a DVD player in the Chevy Tahoe. That way you can watch the documentary "Who Killed The Electric Car". (Spoiler Warning: Detroit might have done it. In Congress. With a lead pipe. Thus ends the game of Clue....)

The new BMW allows you to "wash your hands of CO₂ emissions." There's a huge drop of water descending in front of the BMW Hydrogen 7. Yeah, you Pontius Pilate, earth destroying, Beemer driving Yuppie scum, you can wash your hands of emissions. Nothing can be your fault. "It's a great idea that makes more than an environmental statement," says the ad copy. And making a statement instead of a difference is what this is all about.

Now let's look at the back cover. The Calvert Alternative Energy Mutual Fund gives us a big picture of a wind farm. "One day, 'alternative' energy will just be energy", they say. Calvert is going to give us Alternative Energy Solutions AND they are "positioned to help you potentially capitalize on this investment opportunity." Let's deconstruct that last phrase: "We at Calvert know Al Gore. He and Kleiner Perkins are going to get Congress to subsidize this stuff. Give us your money. You can make tons more and not feel guilty. It's for a good cause."

I assume that Willie Morris is turning over in his grave, a grave where I hope he is composting nicely with minimal methane and CO₂ emissions, and leaving the earth the way he found it.

The 40 Most Obnoxious Quotes of 2007

Most people with my political views dislike the anti-market bias of the left, and the anti-personal freedom bias of the right. That's why I don't spend a whole lot of time at sites with names like "The Left Wing of Truth", "Nancy Pelosi is Satan", "Bush is Evil" or even The Right Wing News.
But someone at Right Wing News deserves kudos for putting this batch together.
Here are the 40 Most Obnoxious Quotes of 2007.

And now that I've gone in there and looked around for a while, I'm linking to them. Ignore the ads....the content is good.

Richest Vice President, Part 2

Thanks for your help, everyone.
This site is now the #1 Google search result for the words RICHEST VICE PRESIDENT.
Please keep that rant alive....

PLEASE protect me from anything that might change my mind

"Did you ever hear anyone say 'That work had better be banned because I might read it and it might be very damaging to me'?"-- Joseph Henry Jackson

I found this at a listing of quotes about banned books called The Forbidden Library. Good stuff.
I was in the bookselling racket when "The Satanic Verses", "American Psycho", and "Final Exit" came out. And guess what....it wasn't conservatives who wanted these titles banned. It was, respectively, The Politically Correct, Feminists, and Lawyers.

The Celebrated Chinese Typhoon Story

I occasionally go to Xiamen, China, to do Quality Control work in a metal factory. The original factory was located relatively close to the downtown area of Xiamen island.

But in an effort to promote more tourism, the government decided to move all factories off the island. (That’s one of the many, many Blessings of Socialism….Big Government can simply move “undesirables” to other places, whether it’s factories, human rights activists, political opponents, people living upstream from the 3 Gorges Dam, Tibetans, or entire industries. No questions asked. Don’t you wish you lived under a government like that? No? Then start voting for Libertarians….)

The new factory is 45 minutes away from the island. The company driver always picks me up at the same coffee bar, along with a few salespeople or office workers who have gone home to the island instead of sleeping in the factory dormitory. Catching a free ride in the company car with The Great American (or Brit, Swede, Kiwi, etc.) is free and fast, as compared to taking a bus that stops at every fish stand between the island and the new factory.

My driver was named Mary.

Most Chinese people like Mary who work with Westerners usually acquire a Western Name. This has nothing to do with Imperialism, Colonialism, Capitalism, or Ethnocentrism. It’s about vowels. Since Asian languages are typically tonal languages - vowels can rise, fall, fall-rise, or stay flat - anyone like me from Merigold, Mississippi will fail to hear the differences in the tones. In Merigold, Mississippi, individual vowels wander pointlessly for several seconds but with no specific goal other than a reluctance to get to the point.

It’s worse when we try to speak a tonal language. Anyone from Merigold, Mississippi trying to get the right person on the telephone will fail. (Can I speak to Mr. Hu -- Mr. Hu ! ! Mr. Hu ?? Mr. Hu \__/ )

At some point, the Chinese individual will pick out a name he or she likes, and say “Call me Roger.” Or the Westerner will get frustrated and declare “In honor of your contributions to this enterprise, I hereby dub thee ‘Roger’”. The newly minted Roger will try the name out a few times, get the spelling down, and struggle with the R’s at each end. He’ll eventually Google “Roger” to make sure there’s no historical bad Mojo packaged with the name, like the bad Karma now found with Adolph, Benito, or Dahmer.. He’ll either declare the name acceptable, or suggest an alternative.

My Chinese friend Wendy, the factory’s leading salesperson and interpreter, once decided that Mr. Chen, the factory owner, needed a Western name. Wendy proposed “Charlie”. As in Charlie Chen. I didn’t explain the negative connotations surrounding the 1940’s and 50’s movie detective Charlie Chan, and that many people wouldn’t respect any Asian who voluntarily went by that name. So I told her that Mr. Chen is THE MAN at that factory. Nobody else gets called Mister. Therefore, a Western name was unnecessary for a man of Mr. Chen’s wisdom and stature. That’s how I killed the Charlie Chen project.

I once met an American at a Xiamen bar called “The Londoner”, who confessed to naming an entire Chinese office staff with aliases that reminded him of American strippers. He loaded the place with Ambers, Ashleys, Tiffanys, Mistys, and Lolas. That’s just wrong.

But I have my own confession to make. My political leanings go toward Libertarianism. Perhaps that’s why I subconsciously named people after Defeated Democratic Presidential Candidates. I was about 3 names into the process before I discovered I’d given the QC Manager the name Walter (Mondale), the Welding shop was run by George (McGovern or Wallace, name your poison) and the Wire department was managed by Albert (The Goracle of Music City Tennessee). Those first three weren’t intentional. Unlike the names I gave out during my last trip, when, I’m delighted to say, I ensured that the Final Assembly department would be ably managed by John and his lovely wife Theresa-Heinz (Kerry).

I’d pay my own airfare to China, just to name the purchasing agent “Hillary” as a pre-emptive strike.

But I digress. The point of all this is to explain that my Chinese driver on the day of The Typhoon had the unlikely name “Mary”. She was the first female driver to show up in Mr. Chen’s car, and was visibly nervous. People from her obviously impoverished background don’t get to spend much time with round-eyed Barbarians. Unlike the previous Davids, Tommys, and Mikes, Mary had absolutely no English, other than “Herro, Mister Aaron!” (In Merigold, Mississippi, I was named Allen. In China, it comes out as Aaron.) But once I saw that Mary could cope with the odd meter rhythms of Chinese traffic as well as anyone else, I would dive into my laptop within a few minutes of each departure.

(I’m writing this from a cruise ship on the Mexican Riviera, a long way from Xiamen China. But I can still hear the two CD’s in Mr. Chen’s company car: The Carpenter’s Greatest Hits, and a Richard Clayderman (?) CD of 1970’s movie themes, including Love Story, Romeo & Juliet, Moon River, and The Godfather. Those songs been pounded into my soul)

I couldn’t tell anything unusual about the weather on the day of the typhoon. Chinese weather is hard for me to predict. Because of China’s total absence of environmental protections, the sky is always the color of 10,000 outbursts of Satanic flatulence. China lives beneath the Marlboro Man’s overflowing ashtray. A Dickensian London Fog mixed with Plutonium for good measure.

Cleveland Ohio was once the only U.S. city where a river caught on fire. In Xiamen, that might happen to the sky. So who knows if it’s cloudy or not? Plus, the coastal fog and mugginess give everything the feel of stepping into a mildewed shower stall. One of the upsides of a typhoon is that the sky afterwards is a brief radiant blue, and everyone’s mood is noticeably improved.

Once I got to the factory, I worked until around 3:00 p.m., when Mr. Chen found me and said that a Typhoon was coming. I had one opportunity to get back to the Island. There were none of the usual delays waiting on hitch-hiking office workers, and I was the last one to get in Mary’s car. Wendy the Salesperson/Interpreter, Karen, her assistant, Nancy the office manager, and Walter from Quality control were in the back seat.

This was my second typhoon. The first was weathered from the relative security of the Osaka, Japan, airport. The airport typhoon experience was like being outside of a carwash, looking in. This one was like being inside a blender, vainly looking out. The windshield wipers weren’t squeegee-ing the water, they were briefly stirring it. When we could see out the windshield, we saw branches flying in front of us. The scraps of woven plastic mesh bags, broken chunks of tile, and rusted chunks of sheet metal that are China’s Roadside Beautification Program were washing across the road.

But we felt secure. Big Sister was with us. The ever present voice bringing reassurance in our time of trouble, the unseen comforter giving guidance to our tiny vessel. No, I’m not talking about the propaganda recordings of Mrs. Mao, the White Boned Demon. I’m not talking about any of the minor Buddhist or Hindu deities. I’m not even referencing the Mother of Our Lord and Savoir whose namesake was gamely gripping the wheel. No, we had the audible presence of the most prominent, inspirational voice in all of China, whose words ceaselessly blast from every Karaoke Bar, Bootleg CD shop, and restaurant on the continent: We had the music of Karen Carpenter.

And we were singing with her:

“When I wass young I lissen to dah radio,Waitin Foe mah favree song…..
When dey play I sing along
It make me smile
EvLeee Shah Lah Lah Lah, Evvv Leee Woa Woa Woa,
Still shiiiine,
Evv Lee Sheen a Leen a Leen, Dat dey Stahting to Siiing
So Fiiiiiine,
When dey get to dah Paaaht where he breakin’ her haaaht.
Eee can rearry make you cry…
Juss like Befooooe, Is Yessuhday One Mohhhhh. (Zhoo Bee Doo Woe Woe)
God, it was surreal.

I'm adding a YouTube of The Carpenters singing the song.  Don't bother watching the video.  Just turn your speakers up to ELEVEN, and let it provide a soundtrack for the rest of this story. 



We drove and drove. Normally we could expect a slowdown with factory traffic heading back into town, plus the usual slowdowns from ox carts, bicycles, mopeds and pedestrians. Not that afternoon. The road was ours. If we could only see it.

Evv Lee Shah Lah Lah Lah, Evv Lee Woa Woa Woa Woa, So Fiiiiiine….

Chunks of fence were coming across the road. Chickens. Mud from the hillsides.

Evv Lee Sheen a Leen a Leen, Dat dey stahteen to siiing, So Fiiiiine

For a moment, I knew I was going to die in a flooded Chinese ditch with those people, listening to Karen Carpenter reminisce about 1950’s DooWop music. When the Chinese government finally dispatched an ambulance to the scene of our crash, they would find me with my eyes frozen wide in terror with “It’s Yesterday Once More” still running on auto-repeat.

(Zhoo Bee Doo Woe Woe….)

And then there was total silence from inside the car. Silence. The rarest of all Chinese commodities. All I could hear outside was rain, wind, and the defeated windshield wipers. Wendy had said something that prompted Mary to turn off the CD player.

“What’s the matter?” I asked. “Did we hit a dog?” (Which is another story….)

Walter, Karen, and Wendy waited a few seconds and then started wildly Speaking in the Unknown Tongue. All I could pick up on were various permutations of the word “Ma”, which, depending on the tonal inflection, can mean Mother, it can imply Ownership, it sometimes means to Scold or Curse, and it also mean Horse, or Marijuana. Throw a “Ma” onto the end of a sentence, and it can turn statements into questions.

(Here’s a potential Chinese Pronunciation Exercise: “Mama, your damn horse ate my marijuana ????”)

I looked into the backseat, where everyone was talking, looking and pointing wildly, as if hornets were trying to get in through the windows.

“What’s the matter?” I asked again.

“We are missing…..???” Walter answered, pointing behind us. “Who are we missing?” I asked, dreading a trip back to the factory to pick up some clerk who just HAD to be back on the island that night.

“We are missing….???” Walter said again, this time scooting away from Karen as if making room for one more Chinese butt on the back seat.

“We are missing….???” he said one more time. Walter is a good kid, but sometimes a little dim.

“Oh Waltahh,” Wendy said, throwing her hands in the air. “In Engrish, you do not say We Are Missing. You say ‘AARON, WE ARE LOST’.”

Then it was my turn to start looking around like a madman. All I saw past the typhoon was generic Chinese landscape. Trees weren’t bent double any more, but they were still leaning. Conversation resumed in Chinese. More pointing and head twisting. We eventually came to an intersection with an unmarked road, where Mary balked, waiting on instruction from a higher power. It was chilly, but her hands were sweating. Chairman Mao and the Gang of Two were in the back seat. Richard Nixon was in the front seat. Mary wasn’t trained for Henry Kissinger-type work.

I started advocating a right turn, since I knew we were going north. Ocean, and therefore island, were both to the east. I was overruled by the residents.

We drove and drove. Finally we came to another road. This one had a sign POINTING TO XIAMEN. I know the characters that make the word Xiamen. There’s the little gallows with a bee hive hanging from it, followed by the half-box “men” character that makes things plural. It was a sign pointing toward home, and they wouldn’t let Mary drive down it. I argued. I cussed. THE DAMN SIGN WAS POINTING TO XIAMEN.
But they didn’t know that road, Wendy explained. We might get lost worse. We were already lost worse I explained.

“Look,” I said. “How many bridges go onto the island?”

“Two.”

“This country doesn’t spend anything on road signs, since that would be helpful to the people who live here. But somebody, Buddha bless his soul, has put a sign here saying this road goes to Xiamen. I promise you, this road leads to other roads that lead to one of the bridges that will get us to Xiamen.”

Wendy said something to Mary.  Mary, trembling like a whipped dog, crept past the intersection without turning. I decided to roll with it. “I’ve always wanted to see Russia,” I said, deteriorating into The Ugly American.
Thirty minutes later, we were still heading north. The rain was winding down, and we saw people coming out of their houses to start the cleanup. In the distance, there was a low, flat range of hills. They almost looked man made.

“Look,” I said. “There’s The Great Wall of China.”

Nobody laughed. We kept rolling.

Five minutes later, Walter piped up….”Aaron, the Great Wall is in far north China.”

Wendy was disgusted. “Oh Waltaah, Aaron just making bad joke.”

I honestly don’t remember much after that. We eventually got home by turning right, somewhere in Baha Beijing.

Happy New Year ! ! !

In Defense of Libertarianism

"Wired" magazine has a great article called "In Defense of Libertarianism", by Declan McCullagh.

Here are a couple of my favorite paragraphs:

Critics are wrong to trace the origins of libertarianism to Horatio Alger's "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" 19th-century philosophy of rugged individualism, or "social darwinism." Some libertarians call themselves "classical liberals," referring not to hippies of the 1960s, but to centuries-old political thinkers who valued freedom and equality and hated mercantilism and the arbitrary rule of the privileged class.
The true roots of libertarianism lie in the Jewish and Greek ideas of a higher law that governs everyone, even the ruler. Then there were 17th-century thinkers like John Locke and John Milton who defended equality, free speech, and religious tolerance. Activists in the fight against slavery, such as William Lloyd Garrison and Frederick Douglass, also believed in libertarian theories of human rights. So did early defenders of women's rights, such as Sarah Grimke and Mary Wollstonecraft. The Declaration of Independence and the Constitution are libertarian documents based on the view that government is built by the consent of the governed and exists only to protect individual rights. They created and support a system that will - in general - result in higher standards of living for more people than does government intervention.

Ok, people in Iowa and New Hampshire, vote accordingly.

Alzheimer's and Cruise Ships

Many of you who know me, or who have read some of my older posts, know that my Father-In-Law has Alzheimer's Disease.

Denny was diagnosed 3 or 4 years ago, and it's been difficult. He wanders away with things, leaves them in special hiding places, and will sometimes repeatedly make a circular path through the house trying to remember just what it is that he needs to be doing.

My Mother-In-Law has paid our way on vacation cruises once a year, ever since Denny was diagnosed. They want their family to have group holidays as many times as possible before his situation deteriorates any further.

We think each trip will be the last, but every year around September the disease goes into a brief remission - a remission long enough to justify booking tickets on the cruise, anyway. At this point, Denny has had more farewell tours than The Eagles.

Cruise ships work out well for Alzheimer's patients. There's always something going on, and you can't get off the boat and get lost. We got on the ship in San Diego, and went to Cabo, Mazatlan, and Puerto Vallarta. This has been the first trip where Denny really couldn't remember much about what happened the day before.

Denny used to get up and get on with his routine with military precision. On the cruise, he usually took an afternoon nap. When he woke up, he wouldn't know if it was time for dinner or time for breakfast.

This is a man who volunteered for two tours of duty in Viet Nam. His gun is now at my house, for safety's sake.

This is a man who, upon returning home from the war, got a Doctorate in Social Ministries from TCU. I once saw him in a video documentary about helping the homeless. He explained his favorite Bible passage, from the Gospel of John...."When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love you." He said to him, "Feed my lambs." So Denny has spent most of his non-military career providing food and clothing for the homeless. But now his wife has to look at menus and order for him.

This is a man who once knew the names and idiosyncracies of more than 500 street people. Today, he can't remember what a "shrimp cocktail" is.

He once acted as advisor to an entire South Vietnamese village. About a year ago, he had to resign from Meals On Wheels because he couldn't find Main Street.

The church has always been important to him. Denny made some promises to God during the Tet Offensive, and he's kept those promises. But he can no longer teach his Sunday School class because he taught the same lesson two weeks in a row.

If there's an upside, it's getting to hear stories about trips he never took. For instance, whenever I bring up trips to China he now "remembers" going to The Great Wall of China as an R&R trip during the Vietnam war. (The Communist Chinese were on the opposite sides of the trenches from us during Vietnam. I don't think this trip happened....) But the story is great. He can see it happening.

The same thing goes for the family's vacation in Panama. Didn't happen. But he's got lots of stories about it.

Denny's not going to live in our world any more. I sometimes enjoy going to live in his.

Al Gore, Time Magazine's Person of The Year....Almost

Thank God for Vladimir Putin.

Vladimir Putin, a former KGB agent and the current Russian President, was all that stood between Al Gore and Time Magazine's "Person Of The Year" award.

Putin won it. This probably isn't enough to completely atone for Putin's KGB sins and his anti-free market crimes, but it comes close. Because of Putin, Saint Albert, The Goracle of Music City Tennessee, was only first runner-up.

If you need more fun facts about Gore, please read the New Age pap in the Time article. Especially if you have a fierce desire to learn how there can be a Deep Spiritual Side to something that's a total farce.

Please read the Gore interview, and notice Bryan Walsh consistently using the newer, more nebulous panic phrase "Climate Change" rather than previous panic phrase "Global Warming". (Climate Change has been going on for millenia. Climate always Changes. Therefore, Gore's warnings about Climate Change will be validated. But, hhhmmm. that "Global Warming" thing was uncomfortably precise. How can anyone make money off this con job if it gets colder???)

Here's the most important question in that Bryan Walsh asked in his Al Gore interview: "John Doerr, your new partner at the venture-capitalist firm Kleiner Perkins, has said of climate change, 'Sometimes panic is an appropriate response.' How do you remain optimistic?"

I've sounded off before about the Al Gore/Kleiner Perkins relationship. They're paying Gore a fortune. Both parties are about to make Tennesse Mansions-full of money by 1) continuing to panic everyone about the looming Global Warming Climate Change crisis, 2) insisting that their Buddies in Government do something about the fake crisis (with your money), 3) getting environmental legislation in place with target dates, quotas, new standards, and new bureaucracies, 4) offering government subsidies to the Alternative Energy start-up firms that Kleiner Perkins underwrites, and 5) setting other roadblocks in place that only the Kleiner Perkins Alternative Energy Wonderboys can help us get past.

It will be beautiful. I'm no longer asking people to get mad about it. That's like getting angry at the sunrise. I just want to call your attention to it, much like I hope you would call my attention to an eclipse....so we can enjoy watching it happen together.

I'm a little angry at one person, though. Bryan Walsh, who interviewed Gore, apparently asked the John Doerr "Panic is the appropriate response" question without a trace of doubt or cynicism. How in the heck does someone who claims to be a journalist do that? Does he not know that John Doerr will be a jillionaire, if only everyone will co-operate with Gore and panic?

I mean, there Walsh is, interviewing the Front Man For a Pack of Jackals. The Kleiner Perkins/Al Gore group is going to get filthy rich. That's why Kleiner Perkins is giving Saint Al the big bucks. It's not a secret. I didn't read about it in Time, where they pay Bryan Walsh to type, but it was previously in Newsweek, and I'm assuming a few newspapers. But in the Newsweek piece by Tony Dokoupil and David Kaplan, Saint Albert got the same reverent treatment.

What Livestock Auction should I attend to find cooperative journalist-sheep like these? I'm going to start making and selling perpetual motion machines, and need some free publicity.

Merry Christmas Again, and possibly for the last time, depending on whether I spend $75 for wireless access

We're on a plane headed to San Diego. Instead of leaving two vehicles at the airport for a week, or going through the hassles of having friends drop us off on a Sunday morning, and then pick us up on the return trip, we tried a van service.

The driver was a refugee from Iraq.

He had a copy of the Koran on the dashboard, plus a Haddith (sp?) by the seat.

Wonderful man. He turned off the radio and put in a CD of Christmas Carols for our benefit. He got a kick out of my daughter announcing that she looked forward to beating me at tennis in a foreign country.

We got to the airport, which was a freakin' zoo. Everyone travelling for Christmas and New Years. All that PLUS a higher security level.

Lots of soldiers and sailors in unform.

I spent a lot of time thinking about how many people's lives have been lost, how many lives have been disrupted, and how the economy has been slowed down with security and inspections because a tiny percentage of one of the world's major religions decided that they hated everyone who disagreed with them.

(Had to stop a moment while the plane took off....Read this week's Weekly Standard if you get a chance. There's a wonderful article in there by a P.O.'d ex-Mormon. He's got some good things to say about the ridiculous mess going on between Southern Baptist Huckabee and Mormon Romney in Iowa. Will give the guy a link on this post if I ever get a chance to find it online....)

I'm now in the "Library" of the cruise ship. It's the Princess Dawn, excuse me, The Dawn Princess sailing from San Diego. We're docked across from the U.S.S. Ronald Reagan and the wooden ship that Russell Crowe captained in the "Master And Commander" movie.

Here's another thing: If I were taking this trip prior to 9/11, security wouldn't have been so tight. I KNOW I could've gotten my own liquor onto this boat.

There are people from all over the world on this cruise. I briefly sat at the bar with a man from Jordan and talked with him for a while. Great person, except for the fact that he made his wife (in a traditional head covering) wait for him outside the bar.

If there's a point to this post, it's this: Life is a great thing. People are generally good. If you try to be a nice friendly person, they'll like you. They'll be more likable if you try. We don't need to be issuing Fatwah's against each other, we don't need to assure our team that God Won't Hear The Prayers of People On Their Team. We don't need to invent any more Hells for each other, here or in the next life. (With the exception of the person who wrote the Big Band arrangement of "Let It Snow" that's booming all over this damn boat. He's going to hell.)

Everybody have a great Christmas. Happy New Year. Hannukah. And Kwanzaa.

How To Argue....Please Read The Last Paragraph First

Former New York City mayor Ed Koch asks the question "Does Al Gore Know What He's Talking About?"

Click on the link above, read the whole thing, and try to get back to me.

I recently received an email from someone attacking a lengthy scholarly article. The article and its conclusion were controversial. The sender of the email encouraged everyone to read the conclusion first, then read the rest of the article. I repeat, the sender suggested reading the conclusion first.

My assumption is that no one would read the virtually bulletproof argument presented in the paper if they were to read the controversial conclusion first. It was a disagreeable conclusion. I also assume that the sender didn't genuinely want anyone to evaluate the lengthy argument presented in the academic paper; the goal was to point out the various heresies in the conclusion without reference to the preceding argument.

It made me totally nuts.

Friends of mine who received the same email vigorously defended the author/scholar who wrote the controversial paper. They defended the argument made in the article, and defended it well.

(Awwww....I'm lying....they really didn't defend the piece. They defended the author's right to publish his opinions, and they defended their right to like the author and his books. The points made in that article were too radioactive to be openly and honestly discussed by people with reputations to worry about. So I'll get to it one day....)

But no one that I know pointed out the error of encouraging people to read the conclusion without reading the argument first. Especially when the argument is the point.

What does this have to do with former New York City mayor Ed Koch's piece that asks "Does Al Gore Know What He's Talking About?" Well, for starters, my original intent was to post only the last two paragraphs of Koch's argument on this site. Then I would pat myself and Ed Koch on our backs and compliment both of us for sharing the same opinion on Al Gore, i.e. that he's a doofus.

But that does a disservice to Al Gore by enlisting an "authority" argument from Ed Koch, which would encourage people to read only the conclusion from the "authority".

The Argument From Authority is a weak one, whether the Authority in question is Ed Koch, The Pope, Oprah Winfrey, 9 out of 10 Dentists who chew sugarless gum, or the Old Testament Prophet Habbakuk. What is the evidence that Ed, Pope, Oprah or Habbakuk bring to the argument? That's what matters.

Oprah likes Obama, and she's famous. She's an authority on a lot of things. But can she make an argument that Obama is the best choice for President of The United States? And does that argument hold up well? She's probably tried to make the case for Obama somewhere, but I haven't run across it yet. All I find are statements that Oprah has endorsed Obama.

Posting Ed Koch's closing paragraphs also does a slight disservice to Ed Koch, doesn't it? His intent was to provide us with a math problem, where this fact plus this statistic, subtracted from this statement and multiplied by this piece of history, equals Koch's-opinion-on-whether-Gore-knows-what- he's-talking-about. But many of us in the Blogosphere like to post only the factoids we agree with. Or we grab one disagreeable paragraph, do a thorough Fisking, and move on to the next heresy.

I'm going to try to avoid that from now on. Any fiskings will be complete, rather than selecting the most delicious offerings that the buffet of 2008 offers to me.

And you still haven't read the beautiful hatchet job that Ed Koch did on Al Gore, have you?

Merry Christmas, Everybody ! ! !

This Christmas, we're going on a cruise down the west coast of Mexico. I don't know if I'll get a chance to post anything between now and New Year's, so here's my Christmas gift to everybody that's been checking in since I started this thing in September....

Now that Charles Dickens is dead, David Sedaris is probably our greatest living Christmas writer. This is an excerpt from a story called "Dinah, The Christmas Whore" in his Holidays On Ice collection. In this story Lisa Sedaris, David's sister, has decided to bring an older female co-worker from The Picadilly Cafeteria home for Christmas. The Picadilly happens to hire a lot of former convicts to bus tables, mop floors, and help in the kitchen. At this point in the story, the Sedaris family has gotten out of bed in the middle of the night to meet Lisa's new friend.

In addition to being funny, I think it's one of the most beautifully written paragraphs I've ever read:

Every gathering has its moment. As an adult, I distract myself by trying to identify it, dreading the inevitable downsizing that is sure to follow. The guests will repeat themselves one too many times, or you'll run out of dope or liquor and realize that it was all you ever had in common. At the time, though, I still believed that such a warm and heady feeling might last forever and that in embracing it fully, I might approximate the same wistful feeling adults found in their second round of drinks. I had hated Lisa, felt jealous of her secret life, and now, over my clotted mug of hot chocolate, I felt for her a great pride. Up and down our street the houses were decorated with plywood angels and mangers framed in colored bulbs. Over on Coronado, someone had lashed speakers to his trees, broadcasting carols over the candy-cane forest he'd planted beside his driveway. Out neighbors would rise early and visit the malls, snatching up gift-wrapped Dustbusters and the pom-pommed socks we used to protect the heads of golf clubs. Christmas would arrive and we, the people of this country, would gather around identical trees, voicing our pleasure with warm cliches. Turkeys would roast to a hard, shellacked finish. Hams would be crosshatched with x's and glazed with fruit - and it was fine by me. Were I to receive a riding vacuum cleaner or even a wizened proboscis monkey, it wouldn't please me half as much as knowing we were the only family in the neighborhood with a prostitute in our kitchen. From this moment on, the phrase "Ho, ho, ho" would take on a whole different meaning; and I , along with the rest of my family, could appreciate it in our own clannish way.
It suddenly occured to me.
Just like that.

Merry Christmas Everyone ! ! ! ! !

An Unspeakable Truth

Found on a blog called "I Can Plainly See"....

T.O., Romo, Skybox Ho, Bad Mojo

Yesterday, I defended the honor of Jessica Simpson. She hasn't called to thank me.

Various Talk Shows, bloggers, and football fans have accused her of distracting Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo during Sunday's loss to Philadelphia. Their reasoning, as I understand it, goes like this:
1) Jessica Simpson was in one of the Dallas Skyboxes as Romo's guest.
2) TV cameramen filmed Jessica Simpson in the skybox.
3) We could see her. Lotsa times.
4) She distracted fans watching the game on their televisions. (Jessica Simpson could distract the new Pope during his first Easter Mass at St. Peter's.)
5) Tony Romo, by the same logic, could see her too. From 75 yards away. He could pick her out among the 80,000 other people watching the game.
6) Tony Romo didn't play well.
7) He usually plays well.
8) Jessica Simpson must be a witch ! ! ! a distraction.

I went on to say that Romo is a professional, most players have girlfriends or wives in the stands, etc etc etc.... and that the idea that something like that could distract a Pro Quarterback is the dumbest thing I've ever encountered. (I take that back. I forgot about Farm Subsidies, import quotas, Lou Dobbs, the kid who ran a drill press in reverse for two hours, educational monopolies, John Edwards, The Electoral College System, and the man I saw drive a Massey Ferguson tractor into the Sunflower River.)

This is now the dumbest thing I've ever heard: Here's our beloved Wide Receiver, Terrell Owens on the issue:

Cowboys wide receiver Terrell Owens is not too happy with Tony Romo's girlfriend Jessica Simpson, who attended the team's loss against the Philadelphia Eagles on Sunday. T.O. will also have something to say about Jessica once the playoffs arrive. Romo played his worst game of the season.
"She was hot on my list until last week," Owens said. "I've got a message for her when we make the playoffs. Just stay tuned."
Here's more Owens on Jessica Simpson:
"Right now, Jessica Simpson is not a fan favorite in this locker room or in Texas Stadium," Owens said. "With everything that has happened and the way Tony played and the comparison between her and Carrie Underwood, I think a lot of people feel like she has taken his focus away." (from Rick Herrin with the Fort Worth Star-Telegram)

T.O. didn't do diddly squat last Sunday, other than get double-teamed for Jason Witten's benefit. T.O. likes to get his name in the paper, but hasn't been a distraction all year. Then the Cowboys had their first full blown media circus/controversy, and Owens wasn't a part of it.

He couldn't stand it any more.

So the idiot slammed his quarterback's girlfriend.

Cowboys fans, we now have a distraction.

Tony Romo and Bad Mojo

I went to the Cowboys vs. Eagles excuse for a football game Sunday afternoon. Cowboys lost 10-6.

For football fans who live under rocks, Tony Romo had Jessica Simpson in the stands. She was in a pink Romo jersey. She got as much face time on TV as Wade Phillips. (If you were running a camera, who would you film?)

After the loss, Cowboy fans were screaming at the sports talk radio hosts that the loss was Jessica's fault. Romo obviously didn't have his head in the game. He had the same problem - a loss - last year when Carrie Underwood was in the stands. All the way home, I listened to talk show hosts and callers dissected the obvious correlation between Hot Women In The Skybox and Tony Overthrowing T.O.

The next morning, the Romo/Simpson jinx was in the paper. Here's a sample of the comments from the online version. Fascinating stuff. It's already made it to Romo's Wikipedia entry.

Ok, let's look at this thing: Tony Romo has been quarterbacking since high school. Maybe earlier. I bet he had some girlfriends in the stands all through high school. Same thing for college.

The NFL gives players a certain number of tickets to every game. A lot of those go to wives and girlfriends. These women, along with their Mama, are also occasionally shown on TV - usually when the husband/boyfriend gets hurt. I'm guessing 50% of the Cowboy players, minimum, had some form of woman in the stands.

Has anyone taken their negative Mojo into consideration for this loss?

Tony Romo didn't think twice about who was in the stands after the first kickoff. He's a professional, fer heaven's sake. Andre Gurode and Chris Canty busting up their knees was a bigger factor than Jessica Simpson. Tony Romo's strained thumb was a bigger factor than Jessica Simpson. And there was another professional team on the field, a team with God's Gift to Philadelphia's running game.

But the camera shows Jessica in the skybox, we look at Jessica in the skybox, and we think about Jessica in the skybox. We're momentarily distracted from 3rd down and long yardage.

That's the difference between Tony Romo and the rest of us. We know how WE would play with Jessica Simpson watching.

A little bit distracted.