Friday, January 28, 2011

Stirring up crap so we can intervene later

In which the gentleman from Texas, thanks to a Wikileaks cable, explains how the U.S. signaled to Iraq that it was ok to invade Kuwait, made an Ultra-Villain out of Saddam, and spent a few trillion and killed several tens of thousands so they could redesign the Middle East. 



We're not being threatened by anybody that we haven't encouraged to threaten us. 
Let's bring the boys and girls back home.  Let 'em defend Laredo and Tucson and San Antonio. 

Dilbert on Government Stimulus Spending

Dilbert.com

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Rand Paul's budget cuts - using a scalpel where a chainsaw would be appropriate

Rand Paul has proposed a fairly modest series of government spending cuts.  They total $500 billion dollars.  That's not even CLOSE to the amount we'll need to cut to get out of trouble, but here's a summary from his plan:

LEGISLATIVE BRANCH...............................$1,283,000,000. (23%)
Notes: The Government Printing Office is abolished.
JUDICIAL BRANCH......................................$2,434,000,000. (32%)
AGRICULTURE............................................$42,542,000,000. (30%)
The Agriculture Research Service, National Institute of Food and Agriculture, Resources Conservation Service, and Foreign Agricultural Service are abolished. The Forest Service gets a $1.2 billion haircut.
COMMERCE...................................................$5,322,000,000. (54%)
National Oceanic And Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) is cut by $857,000,000.
DEFENSE.......................................................$47,500,000,000. (6.5%)
EDUCATION..................................................$78,000,000,000 (83%)
Only the Pell grant program survives.
ENERGY............................................................$44,200,000,000 (100%)
The Defense Department takes over all of Energy's remaining functions (nuclear waste, for example) and about $18 billion of its budget.
HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES..............$26,510,000,000. (26%)
Notes: FDA is cut by $230,000,000; Indian Health Service is cut by $650 million; CDC is cut by $1.17 billion; NIH by $5.8 billion.
HOMELAND SECURITY.................................$23,765,000,000. (43%)
Notes: Coast Guard is shifted to Defense. TSA's funds are cut by $900 million.
HOUSING AND URBAN DEVELOPMENT....$53,100,000,000. (100%)
Notes: Completely eliminated. Veterans' housing programs are transferred to the VA
INTERIOR........................................................$10,934,000,000. (78%)
Bureau of Reclamation and Bureau of Indian Affairs are abolished.
JUSTICE.............................................................$9,057,000,000. (28%)
Note: Office of Justice Programs is abolished.
LABOR....................................................$2,803,000,000. (2%)
OSHA, MSHA, and the The Employment and Training Administration are spared all cuts (no cuts to unemployment benefits)
STATE...................................................................$20,321,000,000. (71%)
Note: Massive foreign aid cuts. All international commissions and organizations are defunded.
TRANSPORTATION............................................$42,810,000,000. (49%)
Notes: Amtrak is completely de-funded.
VETERANS’ AFFAIRS..........................................No cuts
CORPS OF ENGINEERS......................................$1,854,000,000. (27%)
EPA..............................................................$3,238,000,000. (29%)
GENERAL SERVICES ADMINISTRATION.....$1,936,000,000. (85%)
INTERNATIONAL ASSISTANCE PROGRAMS...$24,300,000,000 (100%)
NASA.........................................................................$4,500,000,000 (25%)
NATIONAL SCIENCE FOUNDATION...............$4,723,000,000. (62%)
OFFICE OF PERSONNEL MANAGEMENT.......$9,070,000,000.
SOCIAL SECURITY ADMINISTRATION.........No cuts
FCC...........................................................$2,150,000,000. (22%)
ABOLISH...............................................................$2,050,000,000. (100%)
(1) Affordable Housing Program.
(2) Commission on Fine Arts.
(3) Consumer Product Safety Commission.
(4) Corporation for Public Broadcasting.
(5) National Endowment for the Arts.
(6) National Endowment for the Humanities.
(7) State Justice Institute.
MISC
Collect delinquent taxes from Federal Employees........$3,000,000,000.
Freeze Federal Government employee pay...................$2,000,000,000.
Reduce Federal Government travel..............................$7,500,000,000.
Repeal Davis-Bacon..................................................... $6,000,000,000.
Prohibit union project labor agreements......................$2,000,000,000.
TARP repeal.................................................................$4,481,000,000.
Sell Federal Buildings..................................................$19,000,000,000.
Reduce Federal vehicle budget..........................................$600,000,000.

"Winning The Future" - The Logo for the State Of The Union speech

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

My favorite contradiction in the State Of The Union speech

Here's my favorite contradiction from last night's State Of The Union speech. 
I woke up this morning laughing about it.
I gave it a passing smirk during the Michelob Ultra Marthon post last night, but I didn't have his exact text in front of me. 
Here goes: 

None of us can predict with certainty what the next big industry will be, or where the new jobs will come from. Thirty years ago, we couldn't know that something called the Internet would lead to an economic revolution.

Well said, sir.  Well said. 
But then he gave us this little gem:

With more research and incentives, we can break our dependence on oil with biofuels, and become the first country to have 1 million electric vehicles on the road by 2015.

We need to get behind this innovation. And to help pay for it, I'm asking Congress to eliminate the billions in taxpayer dollars we currently give to oil companies. I don't know if you've noticed, but they're doing just fine on their own. So instead of subsidizing yesterday's energy, let's invest in tomorrow's.

Damn, I wish I had a crystal ball that worked as well as his. 


One other thing....it's becoming more and more popular to invent drinking games based on words and clutch-phrases that the Teleprompter Programmer has Obama say.  Reason magazine came up with a list that would've had the nation rolling on the floor with delirium tremens as soon as the speech ended.  Here's their list:

Here at Reason, we’ll be drinking to the following:
Reason went off the rails by the end of their list, but "competition" and "investment" alone would've been enough to send most of us into a coma. 

Hope everyone has a great, great day.  I'm going to go "invest" in two more espresso shots and get to work.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

The State Of The Union, 2011, LiveBlogged

Ok, here we go. 

Laptop - Check
Dachshunds on couches - Check
Six pack of Michelob Ultra - Check

We're awaiting President Obama's entrance. 
John Boehner, of the Boehnk Boehlout fame, has taken the place of Nancy Pelosi this year.  We won't have to watch her jump up and applaud madly every time The Teleprompter Jesus sees a comma on the screen.  This is good, I guess. 

The House and the Senate are all sitting by their new play dates.  This is good, I guess.  No point in continuing the illusion that we have a multi-party system. 

She Whose Name Is Not Spoken is wearing a massive blue jacket that ends somewhere between her knees and the place where her Red Satan Tail attaches to the bottom of her spine.  We both need to cut back on the cholesterol, but I'm not on TV very often.   

They've applauded Obama, Boehner, and the empty chair in the Arizona delegation, set aside to mark the absence of wounded Congresswoman Gabby Giffords.  I hope he doesn't force any Oprah moments about the shooting. 



Obama begins by reminding us of how the assassination attempt on Giffords reminded us that we are all part of one family.  We are still bound together as One People. 
This is true.  We are a family.  Unfortunately, we have taken in a bunch of alcoholic uncles, brothers-in-law, and cousins with a long, long history of irresponsibility with Dad's credit cards.  The Libertarians want to do something about the problem, but they're considered "extreme". 

He's listed some signs that the economy is improving.  But we have to take on some challenges..... God help us, get ready.  We have challenges.  Cover you wallets, lock up your daughters, and bury the silverware in the back yard. 

Now he's talking about how technology and globalization are changing the world.  China and India are figuring things out.  China is now the home of the world's largest solar research facility.  (Get ready for a shot o' stimulus in the solar research field.  Congratulations, guys !)

"The future is ours to win.  We can't just stand still," he says, followed by a Kennedy quote.  "We need to our-innovate, out-educate, and out-build the rest of the world."  That gets him a standing-O. 

Here's how we're gonna get there:

1) Encourage American Innovation.  "None of us can predict with certainty what the next big industry will be, or where the jobs will come from."  But that didn't stop us from throwing 3/4 of a trillion away while trying to make lucky guesses.  I wish he could've had that insight in 2009. 

"This is our Sputnik moment."  We're going to "invest" in biomedical research, information technology, and especially clean energy technology. 

(Congratulations to all in the biomedical, computuer, and green bullshit fields !  You're getting some more stimulus.  Good job, guys.) 

"We've begun to re-invent our energy policy.  We're not just handing out money; we're issuing a challenge." 

He really did say that.  My god, my god, he really did say that.  Raise your hand if you want some challenge. 

We're going to be the first country to have a million electric vehicles on the road by 2015. 

He's going to eliminate the billions in taxpayer dollars we currently give to oil companies.  Instead of subsidizing yesterdays energy, let's "invest" in tomorrow's." 

Meet the New Boss, same as the Old Boss.  Yesterdays pork is tomorrow's investment. 

2) We have to win the race to educate our kids.   I'm not even listening to what this goober says any more on this subject.  This is the man who shut down the only Federal education program with a great track record - the Washington D.C. school voucher program. 

This man who put his own kids into a private academy, this man who wouldn't dream of putting his own daughters into a public school, this man refused to give low income children the same privilege. 

Giving people a choice is the greatest tool for improving anything.  There is no better way to instantly reward success and punish failure. 
The D.C. voucher program was the only Federal program that Barack Obama has ever seen that he didn't like. 

3) Rebuilding America - High speed rail and high speed internet. 
We're going to continue building railroads to Bill Clinton's bridge to nowhere. 

He's going off into something about high-speed rail.  The best source on the boondoggle that is high-speed rail is Randal O'Toole of the Cato Institute.  I suspect that his reaction to this speech will be worth checking tomorrow.  Go here.  It will be worth reading when O'Toole gets around to it. 




We have to knock down barriers to the success of businesses.  He acknowledges that we have the highest corporate tax rate in the world.  He's asking that we simplify the system and get rid of the loopholes.  Go here for a decent summary of how it would work.  The biggest problem is that the House and Senate earn their contributions by selling exemptions to the tax code.......

To reduce barriers to growth and investment, I've ordered a review of government regulations.  When we find rules that put an unnecessary burden on businesses, we will fix them.  The biggest problem with this is that the House and the Senate earn their contributions by selling exemptions to these regulations.  Good luck with that, Barry ! 

He just acknowledged that the Healthcare law is an abortion.  There are things that need to be fixed.  He's not willing to go back to the days of insurance companies turning away people with pre-existing conditions.  If your house has burned down, you can still get on an insurance plan, and that company will have to rebuild your home.  Or something like that. 

4) We have to make sure that we aren't buried under a mountain of debt.  We have to confront the fact that our government spends more than it takes in. 

Wait a damn minute, Barry, what about steps 1-3 ?  How you gonna reconcile with #4 with all of that stuff? 

We're going to have a domestic spending freeze for the next five years. 

This is like going through the all-you-can-eat buffet three times, and deciding to lose weight by eating at that high level, BUT NO MORE.  NO MORE THAN THAT.  FOUR TIMES THROUGH THE BUFFET WOULD BE TOO TOO MANY.  Restraint is the key word here. 

We're going to have to cut some domestic and defense spending.  We're going to have to look at Medicare and Medicaid.  We're going to have to strengthen Social Security for future generations. 

If my daughter collects Social Security, I'll eat the lining out of my coffin.  That's a promise. 

We're going to work to rebuild people's faith in the institution of government.  Because you deserve to know how and where your tax dollars are spent, you'll be able to go to a website for the first time in history. 

Because this site for tracking the stimulus spending worked so well....

He just told a throwaway lie about vetoing any bill with earmarks in it.  I didn't catch it word for word, but he's not going to veto any bills with earmarks in them.  He was lying.  You heard it here first. 

"The Iraq was is coming to and end." 
"We're responding with the strength of our communities." 
"This July, we will begin to bring our troops home."
 
"Yes, we know that some of them are gay.  Starting this year, no American will be forbidden from serving the country they love because of who they love." 

That's a good line, and a good policy.  But the Joint Chiefs Of Staff now look like they're trying to collectively pass a peach pit. 

"This is the place where you can make it if you try."
"This is the place where anything is possible."
"This dream is why a working class kid from Scranton is sitting behind me." 
"This is why someone who began by sweeping the floors of his Cincinatti bar can preside as Speaker Of The House in the greatest nation on earth." 

What is all this reminding me of ? What is Obama invoking here? Ah ! I've got it !
Here's some Liza Minelli:



The guy whose company got the miners out of the Chilean mine just got a standing-O.

We dare to dream.  That's how we'll win the future.  We dream big things.  Our destiny remains our choice. 
Our jouney goes foward, and the State Of Our Union is strong, and may God bless the United States Of America. 

Monday, January 24, 2011

On Government Force

Via Radley Balko, here's an editorial by A. Barton Hinkle of the Richmond Times-Dispatch on the Tucson shootings.

The frenzy surrounding Jared Loughner's rampage in Tucson this month has finally died down. As tempers cool, perhaps distance could turn reflection toward some bigger questions. Many Republicans and Democrats have lamented the frequency of violent rhetoric in politics. Fewer seem to have regrets about the actual use of violence itself.

I'm not referring here to death threats, terrorism, assassination attempts, and similar heinous acts. Nobody considers those violent deeds by non-state actors legitimate. But what about violence by the state? Liberals and conservatives alike often embrace it as a means to an end they desire.

Government, as Max Weber famously put it, is distinguished from other social organizations by its claim to a monopoly on the legitimate use of force. A church or club might invite you to join, but cannot conscript you as government can. A developer cannot take your property by eminent domain; only government can. Acme might try to persuade you to buy widgets through advertising. A gay-rights group might try to coerce Acme to adopt gay-friendly personnel policies by organizing a boycott of Acme's products. But Acme cannot make you buy widgets at the point of a gun, and gay-rights groups cannot change Acme's employee policies by kidnapping the CEO's daughter.

Acme must rely on your consenting however grudgingly to buy its widgets, and the rights group must rely on other people consenting to join their boycott. Only the government can make you buy its products on pain of imprisonment. (Just ask actor Wesley Snipes, currently doing a three-year stretch for tax evasion.) Only government can force you to "boycott" products it declares off-limits, such as heroin, and arrest you if you don't.

The debate over the size and scope of government, then, is an argument over when to use violence to change things and circumstances consensual activity cannot. Liberals (broadly speaking) find inequality odious and think the government should use force in the economic arena by redistributing wealth but leave individuals alone in matters of personal morality, such as whom they have sex with. Conservatives (broadly speaking) are less troubled by inequality and disdain the redistributive uses of government power. But social conservatives are outraged by immorality, as they define it, and therefore think the state should use the threat of violence to enforce personal moral codes by banning prostitution, homosexual sodomy, and the like.

Then there are a small minority of diehard libertarians who would like to minimize government involvement in both arenas, and a small minority of diehard communitarians who think government should dictate behavior of every stripe.

Admittedly, this oversimplifies the issue. It ignores some big questions such as whether people tacitly consent to being governed. It ignores the many exceptions to the general rule, such as conservative Republican support for upward redistribution through corporate welfare. And it is open to several criticisms.

Here's one: A liberal might say that if Acme is the only grocery store in town, then the townsfolk are hardly free to choose whether to shop at Acme's Food Store, because they have to eat. So they should be able to force Acme not to price-gouge. But there is a difference between a lack of options and the use of violence, and that difference seems more than slight.

I've got to disagree with Mr. Hinkle on that one.... One of the biggest economic fallacies out there is the monopolist's ability to price-gouge.  Unless the government is helping enforce a monopoly, the quickest way to end a monopoly is through price-gouging. 

Liberals also sometimes speak glowingly of collective action. They find a nobility in the spirit of community and the notion of people working together to achieve common aims. Everyone should. From corner churches to corporate suites, voluntary social groups have accomplished great marvels. Adding coercion to the mix, though, seems to fatally undermine the community spirit.

Some conservatives also speak glowingly about the common good and argue that their policies alone will advance it. But again, forcing people to embrace those policies by threatening them with imprisonment is an admission that the people who are being forced don't think the policy is good, at least for them. A gay man, for instance, might strongly disagree that forbidding physical intimacy between gay men advances the general welfare.

Conservatives could reply that the homosexual resembles a willful child who simply does not know what is good for him (a remarkably Marxist suggestion of false consciousness) and therefore should have the good imposed on him by force. Or they could say the homosexual's own best interest does not serve the common good. But then who belongs to the common, and who doesn't?

Force is sometimes necessary. We must have police and courts and national defense and environmental protection and so on. But government at all levels does much more nowadays than is strictly necessary, because both liberals and conservatives delight in using it to make other people do what they would not do through mutual consent.

In the wake of the butchery in Tucson, it has been nice to hear many people say we should not speak so well of violence. It would be even nicer to hear more say we should not vote for it quite so often, either.

Amen, Amen, Amen. 

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Quote of the day from Robert Heinlein

Throughout history, poverty is the normal condition of man. Advances which permit this norm to be exceeded — here and there, now and then — are the work of an extremely small minority, frequently despised, often condemned, and almost always opposed by all right-thinking people. Whenever this tiny minority is kept from creating, or (as sometimes happens) is driven out of a society, the people then slip back into abject poverty.

This is known as “bad luck.”

- Robert Heinlein

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Casino Jack - the worst movie ever made about a great story

I went to see the "Casino Jack" last night.  It's the new Kevin Spacey movie about the rise and fall of lobbyist Jack Abramoff. 

Jack Abramoff ?  Jack Abramoff ?  Why, I don't even know Abram....
Sorry about that.  Couldn't help it. 

I wanted to love this movie.  I wanted it to be greatness. 
Unfortunately, it's badly written, poorly edited, and horribly directed.  The director, George Hickenlooper, has done mostly documentaries up to this point.  Maybe that explains why he shovels in every tic, idiosyncrasy, and mannerism that his research uncovered. 
By the time you finish watching this thing, you'll know that Jack Abramoff worked out every day, walked around his office with dumbells, loved to quote from movies, covered his head on the Sabbath, wore a fedora the rest of the time, kept a bust of Ronald Reagan on his desk, ate kosher, and produced a couple of Dolph Lundgren movies.  But you'll have no idea what made him tick. 



Ok, enough of the minor league Roger Ebert nonsense. 

Here's what's interesting about the Jack Abramoff scandal.  This is from The Washington Post:

Washington lobbyist Jack Abramoff and public relations consultant Michael Scanlon quietly worked with conservative religious activist Ralph Reed to help the state of Texas shut down an Indian tribe's casino in 2002, then the two quickly persuaded the tribe to pay $4.2 million to try to get Congress to reopen it.


Dozens of e-mails written by the three men and obtained by The Washington Post show how they built public support for then-Texas Attorney General John Cornyn's effort get the courts to close the Tigua tribe's Speaking Rock Casino in El Paso in late 2001 and early 2002. The e-mails also reveal what appears to be an effort on the part of Abramoff and Scanlon to then exploit the financial crisis they were helping to create for the tribe by securing both the multimillion-dollar fee and $300,000 in federal political contributions, which the tribe paid.

Ten days after the Tigua Indians' $60 million-a-year casino was shuttered in February 2002, Abramoff wrote a tribal representative that he would get Republicans in Congress to rectify the "gross indignity perpetuated by the Texas state authorities," assuring him that he had already lined up "a couple of Senators willing to ram this through," according to the e-mails.

What he did not reveal was that he and Scanlon had been paying Reed, an avowed foe of gambling, to encourage public support for Cornyn's effort to close two Indian casinos in Texas.

(People with a monopoly in an industry, especially a "vice" industry, have long utilized opponents of their industry to preserve their monopoly.  This is called the "Bootleggers And Baptists" phenomenon.  Bootleggers and Baptists are united in their opposition to legal alcohol sales, and both sides vote in favor of alcohol prohibition.  You can hit this link to read about illegal marijuana dealers tipping off the police about semi-legal medical marijuana dispensaries.  Bootleggers and Baptists - once you understand how it works, you'll see it everywhere.) 

Abramoff, one of Washington's powerhouse Republican lobbyists until his work came under scrutiny by law enforcement agencies this year, has long been close to Reed, former executive director of the Christian Coalition and now southern regional chairman of President Bush's reelection campaign. Both have political ties to House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-Tex.), as does Scanlon, who had served as his spokesman.

Here's a summary of the movie and the scandal....An Indian casino has a race-based gambling monopoly in a certain region. There are rumors that another tribe will also be given a casino license, cutting into the profits of casino #1. 
Casino #1 hires a lobbyist to block casino #2 from opening.  The lobbyist, who is damn good at what he does, hires Ralph Reed and The Christian Coalition to protest against The Gambling Menace, The Horrors Of Gaming, and the like. 
The lobbyist then turns around and takes money from Casino #2 and spreads some more of the wealth in Congress, this time as an encouragement for the regulators to examine and support the pro-gambling side of things. 
  
So.  If you assume that it's ok for our government to prevent me or anyone else from opening a casino, or if you assume that it's ok for our government to issue race-based casino licenses and withdraw them at will, and if you assume that government has a right to regulate private behavior....

If you know that Congressmen are bought and sold like East Lancaster crack whores, and if you are willing to tolerate this kind of whoremongering from military contractors, big business, the green energy/perpetual motion machine lobby, and unions...
Then what was so bad about Jack Abramoff ? 

And why would you ever trust government to properly regulate gambling, funeral homes, pharmaceuticals, or even rural stoplights?  Much less your healthcare? 

Friday, January 21, 2011

There. I fixed it.

I started getting complaints a couple of weeks ago about this site taking too long to load. 
I've since gone in and deleted a bunch of the countdowns and widgets that were clogging the blogroll area and I think that has helped.
But many of you were probably relying on these to keep up with upcoming disastrous events. 

So....If you're wondering how long Obama has been a war-monger in the Middle East, he took over that project in January of '09. 

Al Gore predicted that the polar ice caps would melt by 2013.  He better get his ass up there with a blowtorch. 

Our national debt was around 13.5 trillion dollars.  But don't worry, the Republicans are about to raise the debt ceiling to 14 trillion.  Be not afraid, dear flock of Sheeple, they're going to see to it that you get shafted. 

I've also deleted all the little widgets and do-hickeys to TopBlogSites and things of that nature. 
That oughta help. 
There.  I fixed it. 

Just Say "No" To Lower Prices !

From Moonbattery, on a recent effort in Washington D.C. to open a Wal-Mart:

Moonbats will never forgive Walmart for proving how effective capitalism is at providing people the goods they need at a price they can afford while creating needed jobs and avoiding unionization. The intimidation tactics are exactly what you would expect of a nascent socialist police state. Obama's SEIU/ACORN friends have made targeting private homes a specialty.

Here's the flyer used to publicize the protest....


Full Disclosure: I work for a Wal-Mart supplier. 

More Disclosure: We supply all the other major grocery chains.

Disclosure Of The Obvious: If the developer purchased the land and wants to lease some of it to Wal-Mart, it is nobody's business except the developer's and Wal-Mart's.  If you don't like Wal-Mart, don't shop there.  That's the difference between the U.S. and a Worker's Paradise like Cuba or North Korea. 

Disclosure Of An Inspired Idea: Libertarians and economic conservatives should spend more time marching and protesting at the homes of, say, lobbyists, politicians, and regulators. 

Disclosure Of The Rejection Of This Idea:  Dammit, we're not in unions.  So we can't get paid to protest.  We gotta work. 

Disclosure Of Laziness On My Part:  I don't have time to list all the occasions where unions have been busted for hiring substitute protesters and paying them the absolute minimum wage.  (That link'll take you to a Great Jon Stewart/Daily Show piece, BTW.)   In the meantime, enjoy this:

Disclosure Of My Priorities For The Rest Of The Day: Gonna go ship some produce displays to Wal-Mart, and I hope they're headed to Washington D.C. 

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Why you really should consider the Libertarian presidential candidate in 2012

Let's go down to the North Pole

Have you ever wondered what our maps would look like if more of the early influential cartographers had been born in the Southern Hemisphere?
Here you go.
Notice that Hema Maps, made the same mistake that we often do when they labeled this little gem.  This is not an upside down map.  Earth does not have a top or a bottom.  There is no "up" or "down" in space.  There's just a north and south in relation to our orbit around the sun. 
Can you tell what else is different? 
Look at it for a few minutes before turning your laptop upside down....


(The Orient is located where we traditionally place The Occident.  Google it if you gotta.)

Found the map here. 

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

We must guard against the scholarly employment and project allocation complex

Eisenhower's warnings about the Military-Industrial Complex have been much-quoted and much-ignored.  Peace offers limited opportunities for graft. 


There's another section of the same speech that should be carved into granite. 

The prospect of domination of the nation's scholars by Federal employment, project allocations, and the power of money is ever present and is gravely to be regarded.

What does this have to do with anything? 
Please allow me to translate....

Our government is running out of things to tax.  Carbon emissions are one of the last frontiers.  They want to do it under the heading of preventing Global Cooling/Global Warming/Climate Change or whichever term is unprovable.  
There is no money for anyone in the grant/allocation/scholarship/greenery racket who wants to point out that climate is doing what it has always done.  It has always changed, it is changing, and it always will change. 

In the present circumstances, can you imagine our government funding any research to prove that? 

Monday, January 17, 2011

Blowback - by Chalmers Johnson

From the introduction to Blowback by Chalmers Johnson, first published a year before the 9-11 attacks.  The "What - Me Worry?" interview with Brzezinski was done in 1998. 
The excerpt quoted below is from the intro to the latest (2004) reprint:

"The USSR's invasion of Afghanistan was deliberately provoked.  In his 1996 memoirs, former CIA director Robert Gates writes that the American intelligence services actually began to aid the mujahideen guerillas in Afghanistan not after the Soviet invasion of that country, but six months before it.  And in a 1998 interview with the French weekly magazine Le Nouvel Observateur, former president Carter's National Security Adviser, Zbigniew Brzezinski, unambiguously confirmed Gates's assertion. 


"According to the official version of history," Brzezinski told the Nouvel Observateur, "CIA aid to the mujuhideen began during 1980, that is to say, after the Soviet army invaded Afghanistan on December 24, 1979. 

I don't remember seeing any of this in the feel-good movie Charlie Wilson's War.  You know, the Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts movie where a renegade Texas Congressman finally goes through unlikely back channels to get them Afghan Boys some fundin'. 

But the reality, closely guarded until now, is completely otherwise:  Indeed, it was July 3, 1979, that President Carter signed the first directive for secret aid to the opponents of the pro-Soviet regime in Kabul.  and that very day, I wrote a note to the president in which I explained to him that in my opinion this aid was going to induce a Soviet military intervention." 

When asked whether he regretted these actions, Brzezinski replied:
"Regret what? That secret operation was an excellent idea.  It had the effect of drawing the Russians into the Afghan trap and you want me to regret it?  The day that the Soviets officially crossed the border, I wrote to President Carter, essentially: "We now have the opportunity of giving to the USSR its Vietnam War."
 
Nouvel Oservateur: "And neither do you regret having supported Islamic fundamentalism, which has given arms and advice to future terrorists?

Brzezinski: "What is more important in world history?  The Taliban or the collapse of the Soviet empire?  Some agitated Moslems or the liberation of Central Europe and the end of the cold war?"
Brzezinski, Carter, and their successors in the Regan administration, including George H.W. Bush, Gates, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice, Wolfowitz, Armitage, and Powell - none of whom has come forward to draw attention to this history - all vear some responsibility for the 1.8 million Afghan casualties, 2.6 million refugees, and 10 million unexploded land mines that followed from their decisions, as well as the "collateral damage" that befell New York City in September 2001 from an organization they helped create during the years of anti-Soviet Afghan resistance.   

Saturday, January 15, 2011

A modest proposal for Brian Schoenjahn, who wants to ban mixtures of alcohol and caffeine

From The Des Moines Register, with a fresh coat of Whitening to Hit'n'Run:

A sweeping ban on alcoholic beverages that contain caffeine is the first bill in the Iowa Senate this year.

The proposal would prohibit the sale or possession of such drinks, as well as ban transporting or distributing them. Senate File 1 was filed by Sen. Brian Schoenjahn, D-Arlington.

A violation would be a simple misdemeanor punishable by 30 days in jail and a fine of between $65 and $625. Anyone with a liquor license would have their permit revoked.

Here's more from Hit'N'Run:

The bill defines "caffeinated alcoholic beverage" as "any beverage containing more than one-half of one percent of alcohol by volume, including alcoholic liquor, wine, and beer, to which caffeine is added." Hence it apparently applies not only to drinks with a noticeable caffeine kick but also to coffee-flavored liqueurs with detectable amounts of the stimulant, such as Kahlua or Tia Maria, and any cocktails made with them, such as a Black Russian or a Mudslide. In addition to jail time and fines, violators would face revocation (not just suspension) of their liquor licenses, and therefore loss of their livelihoods—a pretty harsh penalty for following the instructions in a Mr. Boston book.



Here's some non-violent (but uncivil) rhetoric on the issue from Popehat:

“Why can’t you mind your own damn business, you nasty, officious, grasping little nanny-state twit?
.... Available press reports do not make it clear whether Brian Schoenjahn (1) only wanted to ban caffeine-enhanced canned drinks marketed to younger people like Four Loko, but was too stupid to draft a bill tailored to that end without outlawing a vast swath of traditional alcoholic beverages and cocktails, or (2) genuinely believes that it’s the rightful place of state government to ban Irish Coffee and Kahlua because Iowans are too stupid to drink it responsibly."



Meanwhile, please remember that thoughtful and important people want you to know that libertarianism is a fringe belief and that legislators are just regular folks whose service ought to be respected.

Yeah.  Well.... If the purpose of government is to protect people like me from our bi-weekly Bourbon And Coke for our own good, I have another proposal for the Iowa Senate. 

Check out these pics of a random Iowa Senate committee. 

Which individual needs to be forcibly restrained from making any more trips to the "All You Can Eat Chomp'n'Chew Buffet" in Des Moines?

Brian Schoenjahn,  the nasty, officious, grasping little nanny-state twit, has more chins than a Chinese phone book.  He wants to deprive me of my bi-weekly Bourbon And Coke, should I ever go back to Iowa for another auction. 
Therefore, I propose that the citizens of Iowa adopt The Schoenjahn Neckline Reduction And Cardiac Arrest Prevention Bill of 2011.  The rough draft reads as follows: 

This bill prohibits the manufacturing for sale, or keeping for sale, importing, distributing, transporting, or possessing of any carbohydrates intended for the gaping Statist maw of Brian Schoenjahn. The bill defines a carbohydrate as any consumable likely to in crease Brian Schoenjahn's shirt size.  Appropriations will be made at a later date to hire regulators to follow Mr. Schoenjahn from Luby's to Captain D's to McDonald's, an activity which will surely save and create jobs for Iowans. 
  A violation of the bill’s provisions is subject to the penalty provisions of Code section 123.50. A violation constitutes a simple misdeameanor punishable by a fine of at least two Wendy's Gift Certificates but not more than four WhatABurger Gift Certificates. If found in violation of this statute, Mr. Schoenjahn will also endure 30 days hard labor at a Bally's or L.A. Fitness Center on a treadmill.  The bill additionally provides that a violation shall result in the immediate revocation and surrender of Mr. Schoenjahn's Senate seat and his Cheesecake Factory Club Card. The bill will take effect upon enactment.

It's for his own good.  He'll thank me one day. 

Friday, January 14, 2011

My Congresswoman got shot in the head - And all I got was this lousy T-Shirt.

Ok, we've got the flags at half-mast, Barry and Michelle have stood outside the White House for their moments of silence, we've had a memorial/rally/cometogether moment in Arizona, complete with T-shirts, and I can only imagine the levels of fake emotion we're going to be exposed to at this weekend's NFL playoff games. 
For the love of God....The stadium opened the concession stands for this memorial service....

How in the hell are they tying this to violent political rhetoric?  Is the goal to get people to shut up while this Chicago con artist and his goons continue to loot the Treasury?  Do we need to be polite and civil while pointing it out? 

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

The Weekly Radley: Protectionism At Work

I saw this on Radley Balko's site.  I hope you can't read the fine print at the very bottom of the advertisement, the obligatory "this ad paid for by.....".  
But first, try to guess who paid for it !  Doesn't it look like something designed by a group of concerned citizens? 
Give up? 
Ok, think "Bootleggers Dressed As Baptists"
You can hit the label at the bottom of this post to see more "Bootleggers And Baptists" stuff. 



Ok, go here to see who paid for the ad. 
It wasn't a "Parents Concerned About Kids Gambling Online" group, was it? 
It almost never is. 
The Indian Casino monopoly opposes online gambling.  Memphis, Tennessee wine shops oppose grocery store wine sales.  California's recent failed marijuana legalization proposition was opposed by almost all marijuana growers.  The funny thing is the way they all try to posture as guardians of our virtue, when all they're doing is blocking potential competitors.   
Big Bidness loves a monopoly.  And the only way they can have it long-term is if the government helps them preserve it.

TSA statistics for new security procedures

Sent to me by so many readers (the first being The Whited Mama) that I've gotta post it.

Monday, January 10, 2011

A hypothetical question about our Statist friends

Why do so many of our Statist friends fear large corporations (a large group of people looking out for the interest of the organization, rather than individuals), but have a deep and abiding love of Big Government (a large group of people looking out for the interest of the organzation, rather than individuals)? 

Saturday, January 8, 2011

The Monthly Mohler - Albert Mohler takes on The BioLogos Forum

Since last year's takedown of Dr. Albert Mohler got about a jillion hits, I've decided to start writing something called The Monthly Mohler.  The Monthly Mohler will be an opportunity to look at the president of Southern Seminary's views on church and state, his beliefs that those who disagree with him are going to burn in hell for all eternity, and finally, his God'n'Amurrica blurbs on Fox.
 
Why bother with something like this? 

Because I believe that he's harmful.  He doesn't make the world a better place.  He reinforces tribalism.  He has a childish loyalty to some theological beliefs that he believes are science, but that only belong to mythology.  But millions of people listen to what he says because, after all, he's Dr. Albert Mohler of Southern Seminary. 
A few weeks ago, Dr. Mohler gave us his views on The BioLogos Forum, a website self-described as follows: 
The BioLogos Foundation is a group of Christians, many of whom are professional scientists, biblical scholars, philosophers, theologians, pastors, and educators, who are concerned about the long history of disharmony between the findings of science and large sectors of the Christian faith. We believe that the Bible is the inspired Word of God. We also believe that evolution, properly understood, best describes God’s work of creation. Founded by Dr. Francis Collins, BioLogos addresses the escalating culture war between science and faith, promoting dialog and exploring the harmony between the two. We are committed to helping the church – and students, in particular – develop worldviews that embrace both of these complex belief structures, and that allow science and faith to co-exist peacefully.
In other words, the participants in the BioLogos forum know that we evolved.  We evolved, and it took a long, long time. 

Here's Dr. Mohler's take on this group:

Public debate is unpredictable by nature, but I have to admit that the approach undertaken by the folks at BioLogos continues to amaze me. The BioLogos movement is a straight-forward attempt to persuade evangelical Christians to embrace some form of evolutionary theory. Organized by a group that includes Dr. Francis Collins, now the Director of the National Institutes of Health, the movement seeks to marginalize objections to evolution among conservative Christians. It offers a very sophisticated website and an energetic communications strategy.

The BioLogos approach to the issue is now clear. They want to discredit evangelical objections to evolution and to convince the evangelical public that an acceptance of evolution is a means of furthering the gospel. They have leveled their guns at the Intelligent Design movement, at young earth creationism, and against virtually all resistance to the embrace of evolution. They claim that the embrace of evolution is necessary if evangelicalism is not to be intellectually marginalized in the larger culture. They have warned that a refusal to embrace evolution will doom evangelicalism to the status of an intellectual cult.
So far, so good.  Because the embrace of evolution really is necessary if evangelicalism is not to be intellectually marginalized in the larger culture, and doomed to the status of an (anti-intellectual) cult. 
Why? 
Because we evolved, and Christianity cannot continue to deny it. 
I'm about 2/3rds of the way through with Richard Dawkins' "Greatest Show On Earth - The Evidence For Evolution".  Lord have mercy, what a brilliant book.  Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant.


Dawkins starts with some of the same arguments that Darwin used, arguments about processes that can't be denied.  In Darwin's day, British farmers routinely modified inedible plants to form various delicious cabbages and cauliflowers.  Dogs were selectively bred for fox-hunting, retrieving, or as guard animals.  Those cabbages and puppies with valuable characteristics were allowed to reproduce.  Plants and pups with undesirable characteristics were set aside as failed experiments. 
Within a half-dozen generations, new varities were spreading all over England. 

My father used to point out the varieties of soybeans produced in the agriculture department at Mississippi State University.  Some needed less water than others.  Some had a greater yield, but needed more fertilizer.  Others had a great yield but could be knocked to the ground by a 15 MPH breeze. 
I still remember many of the names the MSU scientists gave the varieties: Davis, Hood, Lee, Pickett, and Bragg.  (Yeah, they always named them after Confederate generals.)

So if characteristics of a species can be intentionally changed in a short period of time, what happens when Mother Nature is left alone to determine what characteristics are most valuable? 
The fossil record shows us. 
The plants, animals and fish at the lower levels are radically different from the fossils found near the surface.

But go far enough back up the time/species line with any two organisms, and you'll eventually find a common ancestor.  At an early point in the timeline, the two varieties could reproduce with each other.  Later on, you'll only get a sterile offspring - i.e., something like the offspring of a horse and a donkey, a mule.  Give nature a few million more years, and try to mate a cabbage with a kitten.  You'll get nothing at all.
 
The fact that people, puppies, purple cabbages, and pancreatic cancers evolve - it is at the heart of almost all medical research.  The flu shot you got this year will be useless next year.  The virus will have evolved by then. 
Face it.  Embrace it.  Evolution explains the world.  To learn more, read the Dawkins book. 
Back to Dr. Mohler....
Furthermore, they have been breathtakingly honest about the theological implications of their arguments. Writers for BioLogos have repeatedly made the case that we must relinquish the inerrancy of the Bible and accept that the biblical writers worked from a defective understanding of the world and its origins. They have asserted, for example, that the Apostle Paul was simply wrong in assuming that Adam was an historical person from whom all humans are descended. They have been bold and honest in rejecting the biblical account of the Fall as historical. They have warned that an affirmation of biblical inerrancy has led evangelicalism into an “intellectual cul-de-sac.” A complete inventory of the doctrinal concessions they will demand is not yet in sight, but as I have affirmed before, they deserve credit for the honesty of their proposals.

So far, Dr. Mohler is batting 1.000
The BioLogos folks do indeed affirm that Paul was mistaken because Adam was not an historical person. 
Adam is a metaphor.
Not only is Adam a metaphor, but he's two different metaphors when you compare Genesis chapters one and two. 
The first two chapters of Genesis, the ones that all the fuss is about, are contradictory.  They are about two radically different creation accounts.  They can't both be "inerrant".  They use different names for God.  There is a different order of creation.  The authors, and there were two different authors, had different goals in mind when telling their stories. 
They are beautiful stories.  They were the best we could do at the time.  But they are stories, all the same.  Go to Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary (in the early 1980's) and you won't be taught this, but you will be allowed to learn it.  (Long, long story, involving denominational politics.)

Go here for the best explanation I'll ever write about the problems in the biblical stories of creation.

Not only does biblical inerrancy lead to "an intellectual cul-de-sac", it is a cul-de-sac with a cliff at the end.  You find yourself defending talking serpents and donkeys, exploring the reasons for making an axe-head float, and wondering why the snakes didn't eat the mice on the ark. 
Ok, back to Dr. Mohler:
They are also clear about their motive. In their view, the acceptance of evolution is necessary for evangelism. They are motivated, they insist, by a concern that a rejection of evolution puts Christians in a position of intellectual embarrassment. The rejection of evolution places Christians outside the intellectual pale, they assert, leading to the discrediting of the gospel. They believe that intellectuals, especially scientists, will not respect an evangelistic witness to the gospel from one who is intellectually discredited by rejecting evolution. They are embarrassed by the fact that a majority of evangelicals reject evolution, and they honestly believe that some people will not come to know Christ because they are so offended by our unwillingness to accept evolution. They have repeatedly asserted that the credibility and integrity of our Christian witness is at stake.

Why is the rejection of evolution an embarrassment to some Christians? 
Because it is embarrassing to be in a biology class with someone who is raising hell because a teacher is contradicting the folk tales he learned in his Mama's lap.  You feel bad for them.  You don't want to be there.  You don't want to watch the pain.  That's one of the definition of embarrassment.  And yes, changing your mind on any major issue causes pain. 
The writers for BioLogos have been unsparing in their criticism of evangelicals who believe in the inerrancy of the Bible or are proponents of either Intelligent Design or creationism. They initiated a public debate by presenting their arguments in the public square. But now, it appears, they really do not want a public debate at all. They want a one-way conversation.
Dr. Mohler then outlines the details of a tiresome Preacher Fight between himself and someone at BioLogos.  You can go back to his original post if you have the time for the whole thing.  It's a tiresome exposition about who said what and who all really responded in what way....all in relation to Saint Peter and Cornelius in the 10th Chapter Of Acts. 

The chief difficulty, the main reason that these guys can't get anywhere with their discussion?  Neither side can come out and say "Serpents can't talk.  No boat could hold every species of animal.  Trumpet noise couldn't knock down the walls of Jericho.  These are stories.  Parables.  Valuable campfire legends from the infancy of our race.  Let's try something....Dr. Mohler, I'm going to build a pile of wood as big as the Texas A&M bonfire.  I'm going to dig a moat around it.  I'm going to drench the whole thing with water.  Then, Dr. Mohler, I want you to pray for God to ignite the woodpile, the way he did for Elijah.  After you've failed at that, then we'll talk."

If the BioLogos guys were to be that frank and honest, donations would drop off considerably. 

A brief digression:  I briefly attended Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, the sister institution to Doctor Mohler's Southeastern Seminary. 
There but for the grace of God go I. 
Here's more from Doctor Mohler, still bristling from accusations that he called the BioLogos people "not christian":
I can read their words, however. Their theological arguments are published in the public arena. They are not shy about making their proposals, and they call for a radical reformulation of evangelical doctrine. Their assaults upon biblical inerrancy have not been made in private conversations, but in public discourse. Their argument that the Apostle Paul was wrong to believe in an historical Adam and an historical Fall was made in public, as was their denial of common descent through Adam.
Now we're getting somewhere.  This is why Christian fundamentalists attack biologists so fiercely over evolution, while giving linguists a free pass when they offer up alternatives to the Tower Of Babel story.  You see, if there was no Adam and no Eve, then there was no Original Sin.  We are not infected from birth with a desire to murder, steal, covet, and bear false witness.  God didn't set up a perfect environment that we silly humans made a mess of. 
We don't have any collective guilt. 
Paul was off the mark about why Jesus had to die. 
Once you accept that the flu virus can evolve from year to year, fundamentalist theology is a mess. 

They will have to take responsibility for these arguments. They should expect no less than a spirited debate over their proposals, and it is nothing short of bewildering that they now ask, in effect, for a pass from all theological scrutiny. They accuse conservative evangelicals of driving evangelicalism into an “intellectual cul-de-sac” and into the status of an intellectual “cult,” and then they have the audacity to complain of the “tone” of those who argue that their proposals amount to a theological disaster.
Yep.  A theological disaster.  That's what it would be.  As if that's a bad thing. 
You know, if I steal your car, get caught, and then make it up to you by going into my back yard and beating the crap out of my dachshunds, I don't think you'll be satisfied.  I think you'd prefer to get your car back. 
That's what the Original Sin story led to.  Substitutionary Atonement.  Adam and Eve screwed up, so I let God take his frustrations out on Jesus. 
Theology like that?  It needs a disaster every few millenia. 

Virtually every form of theological liberalism arises from an attempt to rescue Christian theology from what is perceived to be an intellectual embarrassment — whether the virgin conception of Christ, the historicity of the miracles recorded in the Bible, or, in our immediate context, the inerrancy of Scripture and the Bible’s account of creation.
No, no, no.  It arises from people looking at the texts, and asking themselves "Is this possible?"  "Could this have happened?"  "Why is this account of dead people rising from their graves in Jerusalem only mentioned in Matthew?" 
(To learn more about groups who try to sort out the truth from the legends, check out the fine work of the scholars at The Jesus Seminar.) 
Dr. Sprinkle kindly invites me “to come and see what I see in the hearts and lives of people in the BioLogos community.” I am willing and eager to enter into any conversation that serves the cause of the gospel. But a conversation that serves the cause of the gospel cannot avoid talking about what the gospel is — and that requires theology.
BioLogos is a movement that asserts theological arguments in the public square in order to convince evangelical Christians to accept their proposals. They now have the audacity to ask for a pass from theological responsibility. That is the one thing they may not have.
I believe that the need for some theological responsibility now rests in Dr. Mohler's camp.  The BioLogos people present compelling evidence for evolution, and yet want to continue calling themselves Christians.   Mohler hasn't done anything here except beg the question.  His argument appears to be that human evolution didn't take place because it would be a contradiction of one of the many branches of Christian belief that have slowly (ahem) evolved for the last two thousand years.   

Al Mohler's is a theology that needs to evolve, to grow up. 

When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. - First Corinthians 13:11

Friday, January 7, 2011

Why does it have to be us?

After examining the symbolic budget cuts that the Republicans will try (and fail) to enforce at NPR and the NEA, Ed Morrisey at Hot Air gets down to the nitty-gritty. 

Defense spending. 
We should be looking strategically at the role of the US in the world, especially in Europe. We spend a fortune providing security to what has become a very stable and interconnected region. Our investment in Europe should be reconsidered in light of our economic problems. We won’t be able to withdraw from Korea for obvious reasons, nor should we scale back our naval power as we need to continue to protect shipping routes for secure and reliable global trade. If we really want to stop deficit spending now, we have to look for the opportunities to cut in the short term as well as the painful and necessary long-term reforms in entitlements, and that means the Pentagon is going to have to share the load.

I generally love Mr. Morrisey's stuff.  But he's begging the question in the italicized sections of that post. 

Why is our requirement to protect South Korea so "obvious" ?  Why is it our job to protect shipping lanes? 

1) Did it work out well for us the first time we helped the Koreans with a war?  How about Viet Nam?  Serbia?  (Plus, how is it going in Iraq and Afghanistan?)

2) Do people all over the world love us and appreciate our military in their countries? 

3) Would we respond well to, say, a little ol' Mexican military installation in Dallas (so Mexico could protect its investments and trading partner?) 

4) Is trade a two-way exchange?  If we're trading with Japan, isn't it time for them to start doing some of their own protection?  Does it not take Take Two To Tango? 

5) Do we have plenty of money to spend on this?  Or are we going into debt ? 

6) Name the countries that Mr. Morrisey is concerned about shutting down the Pacific trade lanes, or with attacking South Korea....Ok, there's North Korea and then there's China.  How much defense spending are we funding with money borrowed from....China ? 

7) Could we cut defense spending in half if we stayed out of everyone else's business, stopped looking for insults to our honor, and protected our own borders and no one else's ? 

8) When we declare defense spending to be "off the table", are we stark, raving mad ?

Thursday, January 6, 2011

"Fixed fortifications are a monument to man's stupidity" - General George S. Patton

Here's a video of two girls climbing the four million dollar per mile U.S./Mexico border fence.
The important thing about this massive piece of pork? 

1) The contractors who lobbied for it got paid.
2) Politicians came up with a piece of Performance Art to show that they were doing something. 
3) The fence looks impressive without actually stopping the flow of illegals, who help fuel our economy, and drugs, which help fuel the prison/counselor/police lobby. 

If seen in the context described above, this monument is more beautiful than Mount Rushmore. 


Hit the "tortilla curtain" label below to read an old post about how much this thing costs per foot. 

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

From the Federal Archives of the U.S. Department Of Irony

"The fact that we are here today to debate raising America's debt limit is a sign of leadership failure. ... It is a sign that we now depend on ongoing financial assistance from foreign countries to finance our government's reckless fiscal policies."   - Barack Obama, 2006, back when debt and spending were bad things. 

Unh., you see, unh....all that unh...talk about Republican spending cuts was unhhh...sorta hypothetical

And so it begins....Here's The New York Holy Times:

WASHINGTON — Many people knowledgeable about the federal budget said House Republicans could not keep their campaign promise to cut $100 billion from domestic spending in a single year. Now it appears that Republicans agree.


As they prepare to take power on Wednesday, Republican leaders are scaling back that number by as much as half, aides say, because the current fiscal year, which began Oct. 1, will be nearly half over before spending cuts could become law.

While House Republicans were never expected to succeed in enacting cuts of that scale, given opposition in the Senate from the Democratic majority and some Republicans, and from President Obama, a House vote would put potentially vulnerable Republican lawmakers on record supporting deep reductions of up to 30 percent in education, research, law enforcement, transportation and more.

Now aides say that the $100 billion figure was hypothetical, and that the objective is to get annual spending for programs other than those for the military, veterans and domestic security back to the levels of 2008, before Democrats approved stimulus spending to end the recession.


The picture of Republican campaign promises came from here. 

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

A moment of nostalgia, inspired by the deaths of 4000 blackbirds in Bebe Arkansas

From MSNBC:

BEEBE, Ark. — Preliminary autopsies on 17 of the up to 5,000 blackbirds that fell on this town indicate they died of blunt trauma to their organs, the state's top veterinarian told NBC News on Monday.

Their stomachs were empty, which rules out poison, Dr. George Badley said, and they died in midair, not on impact with the ground.
That evidence, and the fact that the red-winged blackbirds fly in close flocks, suggests they suffered some massive midair collision, he added. That lends weight to theories that they were startled by something.
Earlier Monday, the estimated number of dead birds was raised to between 4,000 and 5,000, up sharply from the initial estimate of 1,000.
Keith Stephens, a spokesman for the Arkansas Game and Fish Commission, provided the new numbers.



I once put that many blackbirds on the ground, but it took about 3 or 4 months.  Read no further if you are easily disturbed. 
I grew up on a rice farm in Mississippi.  Our house was in the middle of a pecan orchard.  There were 50 or 60 pecan trees in the fields around the house. 

(As residents of Fort Worth know, blackbirds and grackles travel in massive flocks.  They'll color the sky black.  When they select a place to roost in their daily migration, they leave behind a massive pile of blackbird droppings.  Downtown Fort Worth's efforts to get rid of them were comical.  They used scary rubber owls, air canons, plastic snakes in the trees, and I forget what else.  One thing they didn't do?  They didn't hire me to shoot them.  But I digress....)

One year when I was about 12 years old, the largest flock of blackbirds I've ever seen decided to roost in our pecan orchard.  They would fly in at about 2:00 in the afternoon and leave around 7:00.  Sometimes you couldn't see the branches on the pecan trees. 
My father estimated that they ate about 20 acres of rice.  (At the time, a good rice yield was 90 bushels per acre, and we got around $8.00 per bushel.  Do the math.) 
I had a 20-gauge single-shot, a beloved shotgun that I purchased with my own money in the 4th grade.
My father gave me an allotment of one box of shotguns shells per day....


....and turned me loose in the pecan orchard.  That was the best job I've ever had. 

As long as he didn't need me on a tractor, every day was a blackbird hunt. 
I could aim in the general direction of a tree, and put blackbirds on the ground.  My record number was 23 with one shot. 
Jack and Jim, our two sorta Border Collies, started following me into the orchard to gorge themselves on blackbirds.  They were competitive types who survived on leftovers and scraps, and they didn't bother with chewing.  They just ate and ate and ate.  Watching them swallow blackbirds was like watching Chris Christie swallow an aspirin. 
Eventually the cats (whose name was Legion, for they were many) started following me into the orchard.  I'd give almost anything for a picture of me, the dogs, and the cats making our trek into the killing fields.  We were a team.   
The birds eventually figured out the range of my Western Auto .20 gauge, and it became a bit more difficult to kill quite so many birds per shot.  Still, it was a rare shotgun shell that didn't send 8 or 10 of them to blackbird hell. 
25 shotgun shells per day times 12 dead blackbirds per shell times 3 or 4 months. 
You do the math. 

The grossest part, even by my jaded North Mississippi standards, was when Jack and Jim made it back to the house. 
They would recline in the driveway, and you could see wounded and unchewed blackbirds moving around inside their ribcages. 

I don't know or care what killed 4,000 blackbirds in Bebe Arkansas, but I'm sure the blackbird population will survive. 
They've made it through worse things.