Jerry Jones, Cowboys Stadium, AT&T, Arlington, and Eminent Domain

I was in a great mood, despite having to work most of the day Saturday.

I was going to come home, relax, sit on the deck with liquid refreshments and read.

But about an hour before leaving work, I went to the convenience store across the street and saw this headline in my beloved Star-Telegram:

Dallas Cowboys think 'AT&T Field' has a nice ring to it
By MAC ENGEL and ANDREA AHLES
Star-Telegram staff writers

Well, there went those plans. Jerry Jones and the City of Arlington have used Eminent Domain to kick people out of their homes, and that has made me a little nuts on this subject.

The Dallas Cowboys are in serious discussions with AT&T Corp. to name their new $1 billion stadium AT&T Field, according to a document obtained by the Star-Telegram.

If there were any justice in the world, AT&T would stand for "Arlington Targeted & Taken".

The deal would include "media rights," which would allow the Cowboys and AT&T to almost exclusively distribute Cowboys content on local television, radio, Internet and wireless devices, according to the document. The dollar value and length of a potential deal were not specified....

Partial disclosure: When wireless home telephones first came on the market (20 years ago?), we bought one from AT&T. Approximately 15 minutes after the warranty expired, the #9 button stopped working on the phone unless you hit it at a precise angle. If you didn't press #9 properly the first time, you had to disconnect and start over. It was infuriating. If there was a 9 in the phone number, I would sometimes call friends who didn't have a #9 in their number and ask them to dial the number and have the person call me.

AT&T's phone stores refused to give me a refund.

But this was during the glory days of phone deregulation, and we got tons o' calls from AT&T after we dropped their excuse for phone service. Any time their telemarketers called, I would ask for an $80.00 refund for my phone. They would claim that phone sales were a different branch of the company. Like that matters.

Mrs. Whited Sepulchre gets frustrated whenever I bring it up. It was, after all, 20 years ago.

That year for Christmas, our in-laws had pity on us, and got us a new phone. Also made by AT&Freakin' T. Within one year, the #9 on this one stopped working.

(The reason why is explained in detail by Henry Petroski in his excellent book "To Engineer Is Human". The numbers we dialed the most had 9's in them, and if the design is inadequate, it's logical that #9 will fail first.)

But, as usual, I digress. Back to the Jerry Jones/AT&T scam:

Sports marketing experts have estimated that the Cowboys could generate $10 million to $18 million per year for a 30-year agreement. As part of the team's lease with the city of Arlington, the city will receive 5 percent of any naming-rights deal, up to $500,000 a year.

That 5% is appropriate, since Arlington is paying for somewhere between 35-50% of the cost of the stadium, depending on cost overruns. There is a long history of shafting taxpayers in these stadium deals, and Arlington should be mindful of that tradition. Throwing a 5% bone to the dogs is appropriate and adequate.

The stadium, under construction in Arlington, is expected to open in the fall of 2009.

I've made no secret here of my love of gambling. I clean up every year by betting that the Cowboys won't win a playoff game. (My theory is a complicated one, involving God, the ego of Jerry Jones, Nemesis, and Hubris....)

Arlington Mayor Robert Cluck said he has not been told that a name has been picked. But he said he had "heard some time ago that they were talking to AT&T and Verizon for naming rights."
If it is AT&T Field, Cluck said he was "OK with that. AT&T is a solid company."

As long as you don't buy their dang telephones. I know, I know, it was more than 20 years ago. I should get over it. But this feels so good. I think the psychologists and talk-show hosts call this "closure".

Industry experts have been watching for a Cowboys naming-rights deal, speculating that it could rival the most expensive deal to date: the New York Mets' 2006 contract with Citigroup that totaled $400 million over 20 years. Adding media rights into the mix enhances the value of a potential Cowboys deal....

Does anyone besides me see a deeper meaning in the significance of AT&T sponsoring the stadium? A meaning that might only be visible to degenerate gamblers?

According to the document, the Cowboys will use "reasonable efforts" to have a street near the stadium named AT&T Parkway.

AT&T Parkway.....Gag me with a dirty diaper.

Ok, here's my theory. AT&T, Arlington, and Jerry Jones are going in together on this huge stadium in Arlington. If there is any justice in this world, all of them will be punished with another disappointing Cowboy season. Jerry Jones and Arlington have stolen people's homes, AT&T sells phones whose #9 doesn't work. This is my year to make a small fortune betting against The Cowboys.

How do I know this will be yet another failed season?

Dallas Cowboy quarterback Tony Romo's jersey number?

#9.

And he just got a huge contract extension.

This is the year for their #9 to stop working.

The Beijing Olympics Logo, Tibet, Chairman Mao, and Counting Cats

Cause for celebration:

Samizdata's serial commenter "CountingCats" now has a blog. Been up since March.

Get thee hence. Go. Learn. Laugh. Rejoice that you live in the same decade with this person, and that both of you own a computer.

Begin here, with an examination of the food riots in Haiti. The Haitian government is seriously considering lowering the taxes on food imports ! How freakin' humane ! (Hillary, Barack, take note....This would profoundly irritate Iowa caucus voters, but it would help the poor.)

Plus, the current Anthropogenic Global Warming hysteria comes in for a well-deserved thrashing. (Let's use food as an expensive substitute for fuel....)

And I don't know where the Counter of Cats got this logo, but it's a good one. Almost as good as the cartoon I posted here.

CC links to a great question....You have to wonder: how many of the people wearing “Free Tibet” buttons in 2008 were wearing Chairman Mao buttons in the 1960s?

I suspect the numbers are roughly equal.

People Worth Reading, Part 2

A couple of months ago, I started posting links from Zebby's Libertarian Blog Place.
Here are a few more. My goal is to have all of these folks linked and into the blogroll within a year.
It ain't gonna happen. Oh well. That's why God invented the year after next.

The Austrian Economists are a group of living and breathing economists who know what they're talking about, and they've written the books to prove it. (The 1920's and 30's Austrian School of Economics, and this is a gross simplification, believed that government should stay out of the economy lest we get into situations like....the one we're in now. If I'm mistaken, I'm sure one of the five contributors to the AE site will soon beat me about the head and shoulders with a Clue Stick.)
Many of the articles go about 6 inches over my head. Almost everything in the comment fields goes over my head, because it's mostly students of these people trying to show off.
My favorite posts are the ones that Chris and Steve have done in defense of Wal-Mart. I've attempted that myself a few times, and it's lonely work. But these guys explain why Wal-Mart is like the Coast Guard instead of FEMA. They offer yet another rationale for Wal-Mart's eligibility for the Nobel Prize. And the next time I get into an argument about the merits of that particular company, these guys are getting a call.

Back To The Drawing Board is an interesting place, and I wish the author would put up an extended "About Me" link. After looking around there for a while, you want to know more about who put it all together.
You may have heard of Pascal's Wager - mathematician Blaise Pascal's theory that we should believe in God because we have everything to gain from that belief, and nothing to lose. Mr. Back To The Drawing Board makes a comparison to Pascal's Wager and Global Warming. Worth your attention. He's got an entire category devoted to Climate Change Skepticism.

Next is the Brit who runs Blognor Regis, who makes fascinating comparisons between Winston Churchill's warnings against the Fascist State and current problems with trash collectors. This would be funny if it weren't so typical. And I haven't watched it yet, but he links to a video of Mark Steyn speaking on multiculturalism. (Steyn is the journalist who got Canada's "MacLean's" magazine in trouble with the despicable Alberta Human Rights Commission.)

It's April, and I'm not even through browsing the sites that begin with a "B".
For the True Believers out there, Zebby's Libertarian Blog Place is like too much candy.

Cuss-o-meter

The meter on this device might drift rightward if things don't get easier at work.
Consider yourselves warned.

Created by OnePlusYou

I found this widget at Alan K. Henderson's Weblog, now permanently listed to your right. Good libertarian site, and he lives in Irving, Texas.

You say Massagonistic, I say Misogynistic

I like to go to the Google Trends site now and then, just to see what people are looking for. Google Trends simply lists the top Google searches of the last hour.

The word Misogynistic is number eight, out of 100 words and phrases listed. Why?
Because of a comment made by Sir Elton John during a Clinton fundraiser.

The British singer, who, of course, is not allowed to vote in this country, played his hits "Border Song" and "Your Song," adding: "I'm amazed by the misogynistic attitudes of some of the people in this country. And I say to hell with them...I love you Hillary, I'll be there for you."

One might just as easily argue that opponents of Obama have racist attitudes. Or that opponents of Dennis Kucinich have a deep and abiding hatred of the mentally disabled. Or it could be that Hillary's opponents don't like her because....aw, I'm going to get off-topic if I don't settle down. Back to misogyny:

Define Misogynistic: "characterized by a hatred of women".

Guess what word is number 97?

Massagonistic.

Hit the link, and see how many times Massagonistic is used on sites and on weblogs.
Hundreds of thousands of people had to voluntarily type "Massagonistic" into Google to make this happen.
I'll admit to being a creative speller.
And I usually avoid the whole lie, lay, lain confusion in favor of "recline".
I throw commas everywhere except where they're needed.
But I try. Lord knows, I try.

Massagonistic? Massagonistic? Hundreds of thousands of people who can operate a computer searched for the term Massagonistic????? I fear for my country....

But maybe it's not a spelling thing.

Define Massagonistic: On most of the sites that use the word, it seems to mean "lack of respect for your (ahem) womenfolks". Did one rap artist spell the word this way in some liner notes, and it took off from there?

I could be wrong. I'm 46, and therefore I'm totally out of touch.

Please advise. Is this a spelling/education problem, and no one in our nation knows what Sir Elton John is talking about when he uses his fancy British words, or is massagonistic now another term?

The Law of Unintended Consequences is going to get this guy

This idjit in Arizona is sponsoring a bill that would blow the First Amendment all to pieces.

People who create or sell material that causes someone to commit a serious crime could be sued under a bill that faces a hearing today in the Arizona Legislature that is expected to draw a number of opponents from various industries.....House Bill 2660, which passed the House and will be debated in the Senate Judiciary Committee today, would make an individual or a company liable for civil damages if they produce, publish or distribute any dangerous or obscene materials that causes someone to commit an act of terrorism or a felony.

Rep. Warde Nichols, a Gilbert Republican who introduced the bill, said that for too long, the people creating or selling this type of material have not been held accountable. This bill would hit them in the pocketbook and serve as a deterrent, he said.

Here's some more info from Becky, The Girl in Short Shorts, Just Talking About Whatever....

House Bill 2660 would set up a three-part "test" that would allow juries to decide whether a book, movie, song or other media was a "cause" that prompted a convicted criminal to commit a crime. If it met the test, the jury could assess financial damages against the book's publisher, the movie's producer and/or the distributor on behalf of the crime victim.

Here's a situation that would make an interesting test case. A Chicago mother is charged with murdering her 6-year-old daughter. The little girl, Mom claims, was possessed by a demon. Granted, this bill is only in Arizona, the criminal case is in Illinois. But let's assume everything happens in Arizona.

I know which book taught me about demon possession.

If the mother is found guilty, can Bible publishers then be prosecuted?

Two Faced Baby Worshipped As Goddess

An Indian baby has been born with a rare condition known as Craniofacial Duplication.

From Scopical.com

Ok, I am SO going to hell for this, but....

A baby born with two faces has been praised as being in good health, and is now being worshipped as a Hindu goddess.

I'm going somewhere with this....be patient.

Indian couple Vinod and Sushma Kumar last month gave birth to one-month old daughter Lali - with the girl born with two faces.Technically, the girl has two sets of eyes, mouths and noses but however appears in otherwise good health according to Doctors.Her family says that Lali eats with both mouths, and also blinks in time across all four of her eyes.Doctors say the rare condition is known as craniofacial duplication - where most facial features are duplicated, except for the ears.Doctors say that the child is breathing properly, and appears to have no need for surgery to remove the 'second face'.

Meanwhile hundreds of locals have flocked to see baby Lali - believing her to be the reincarnation of a goddess....

There are uncanny paralells between this unfortunate infant and a celebrity who may have had (botched?) surgery to correct Craniofacial Duplication. All the signs are there: 1) Like baby Lali, she's worshipped as a goddess by members of a primitive culture, 2) hundreds have flocked to see her, just like they do baby Lali, and 3) she's often accused of being (continue by clicking here)

National Review, China's Socially Responsible Mutual Funds, Methodist Economic Sanctions, and other stuff like that

I've always enjoyed reading National Review.
Yeah, they're conservative, not libertarian, but there are only two decent newstand libertarian periodicals - Reason and Liberty.
Once you get past the obligatory anti-abortion paragraph on every 10th page (founder William F. Buckley was a devout Catholic), they've got some good stuff. And now that Mr. Buckley is pushing up daisies, National Review has gotten a little more lively. Or at least quotable.

Check this out, from the April 7th issue, on China's ultra-repressive socialists aping their yuppie socialist counterparts....

China's "liberalized" economy allows some market mechanisms to operate, but it is still dominated by the corrupt leadership of the People's Liberation Army and various tentacles of the Communist Party. So investors must have been scratching their heads when they read that Shanghai-based Industrial Fund Management has received government permission to launch China's first "socially responsible" mutual fund. Where will they invest? Taiwan?

I love it. Can't you imagine a pair of Communist Party Princelings sipping their Starbucks and discussing whether it's ethical to invest in South Africa?

Next up, the National Review moves on to our good friends, the Methodists.

When the United Methodist Church kicks off its general assembly this month, one of the notable items on its agenda will be a vote on economic sanctions against....

Ok, enough National Review. I'm gonna make you guess which nation they want to sanction.

China? For their repression of Tibet, and continuing crackdowns on political, religious and market freedoms?
Nope. China's not bad enough.

Cuba? For throwing dissidents into dungeons, welding the prison doors shut, and feeding political prisoners nothing but entrails for weeks at a time?
No, they're not going to sanction Cuba. (As if they could add additional sanctions to those already imposed by the U.S....)

How about the totalitarian nightmare of Kim Jong Il's North Korea?
No way. For all their crimes against humanity, all of these nations still pretend to be more or less Socialist, and therefore we in the U.S. have much to learn from their wisdom.

The country in question will be the first nation the Methodists have ever voted to sanction, as best I can tell.

Keep guessing. Put yourself into the shoes of a Give It All Unto Caesar, Big Government Loving, Interventionist Lobbying....aww, forget it.
Try drooling a little. Get totally out of character. Try thinking of places where, in the not too distant past, it has been illegal to be a Methodist.

Russia, with its Siberian gulags?
Cambodia, because of The Killing Fields?

No. You're not trying hard enough. The religious persecution hint was unfair. I threw that in to get you off track. The nation they're wanting to sanction has religious freedoms rivaling those of the U.S.

Bring some self-hatred to the task. Pretend to feel guilty for all that you own and all the freedoms you enjoy. Then transfer the rage to others with similar freedoms, despite being surrounded by enemies. Give up? OK, back to National Review:

When the United Methodist Church kicks off its general assembly this month, one of the notable items on its agenda will be a vote on economic sanctions against....Israel.

Briskets, Semicolons, Trial and Error,

Blogorrhea Steve has liveblogged a smoked brisket. (Different guy from the NASCAR Steve referenced two posts ago....) History has been made.

Halfway through the smoking process, punctuation concerns take over.

Steve wants to hasten the decline of the semicolon; I think they're handy.

Funny stuff.

Start here, and keep hitting "newer post".

Mark Penn, Jack Abramoff, and Anarchic Hand Syndrome

RealClearPolitics - Articles - Penn the Symbol of Clinton's Problems, says E.J. Dionne, who usually writes for The Washington Post.

He's referring to Mark Penn, The Clintons' chief campaign strategist. Mr. Penn has been helping Hillary Clinton oppose a Columbian trade agreement.

The Columbian ambassador has been paying Penn's public relations company to promote the same Columbian trade agreement.

Therefore Penn had to leave the Clinton campaign, although The Clintons seemed happy with his campaign work against the trade agreement, and the Columbians were happy with his work in favor of the trade agreement.

The way I see it, somebody was going to be taking all that Clinton and Columbian money, and it might as well be someone who could give them what they paid for. If we're going to have a system where our politicians are bought and sold like $20 crack whores, we might as well have them pimped out by people who know what they're doing.

This is a borderline example of what I'm now calling Anarchic Hand Syndrome. And I'll not rest until it's referenced in a Political Science textbook, a Thomas Sowell editorial, or linked on Instapundit. Either one will mean guaranteed immortality.

(Go ahead and hit the link above. It's a short post about the right hand having no control over what the left hand is doing, and it's a legit medical condition. And I believe that as long as decision makers are allowed to take money from both sides of an issue, we'll see examples of the same thing in government. You get to pay for tobacco subsidies and anti-smoking campaigns.)

The Mark Penn AHS episode is slightly flawed, or perhaps he's taken it to the next level and we mortals are too dense to perceive his greatness. It's imperfect because Mark Penn represents the right hand. He approved and controlled the contradictory actions of the left hand. And vice-versa. In a textbook example of political Anarchic Hand Syndrome, Mark Penn would have to be two different people independently working at cross-purposes in the same organization.

Greatness walks among us.

The only other example of this type of self-inflicted solo AHS would be Casino lobbyist Jack Abramoff, who lobbied against Indian casinos while lobbying for them in his free time, and got paid by Indians on both sides.

But if you accept the legitimacy of lobbying, you don't have much room to criticize guys like Abramoff and Penn for for using their talents to their highest potential....

Brief addition....the good people at Salon.com are shocked, no, astounded to discover that small campaign donations go into the pockets of expensive consultants.

Texas Motor Speedway, Samsung 500, My First Race

"But did thee feel the earth move?" - Ernest Hemingway, For Whom The Bell Tolls

This weekend, I went to my first NASCAR race at Texas Motor Speedway. The Samsung 500.
The earth moved.
Someone named Carl Edwards won the race.

I've been around the world seven times, and to one black Pentecostal funeral.
But I've never seen anything like this.
It's a rare group of a quarter million people that I can step into and feel overdressed.
I've felt the earth move, my ears are still ringing, I've smelled the fuel burning and the tires smoking.
I didn't think it would be possible to get this many rednecks to stand in a circle without burning a cross in the center.

This thing should be the #1 Google search result for Bread And Circuses. (You either get that joke, or you don't.)

In your job, doing whatever you do, you probably work with ideas, people, or things.
Here's a stereotype that I think holds up pretty well:

In their free time, "idea" people probably like to go to plays or lectures, or they just stay home and read. They can experience the ideas of some of the brightest people in the world that way.

If you have a "people" job, and are a people person, you probably like to go to parties. The more people there, the better.

People who work with "things", changing the shape of things, making things operate properly, or moving things from place to place, those people go to NASCAR races. They go by the hundreds of thousands. So if you've ever wondered what the guy who changes your oil does to entertain himself, look no further.

At a NASCAR race, you get to see some of the most efficient machines in the world operated by the best machine operators in the world. It's exhilarating and terrifying.

And Oh my lord in heaven, the parties beforehand....my friend Steve and I bounced back and forth between campsites all Saturday afternoon and Saturday night. One group of our friends owns a used prison bus. They've stripped the interior and put in couches and bunk beds. There is a DishNetwork satellite hookup on the roof, connected to an internal projector. TV and/or movies and be shown on a pulldown screen in the middle of the bus. Unbelieveable.

Beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, Jim Beam, beer, beer, some more beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, and when that gets low, go to the store and get some more beer, beer, beer.

We had race tickets through our friends at Roadway, and hung out with them quite a bit. Thank you Steve Johnston. For the tickets, and for the beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, Jim Beam, beer, beer, beer and beer.

I've seen grills that could cook everything in The Fort Worth Zoo. In the last two days, I think I've eaten the flesh of more than 40 different animals and not a single vegetable. But I've had plenty of beer.

There were campers as far as you could see, ranging from quarter-million dollar tour buses to popup campers mounted on the beds of pickups. Everyone was pleasant, more or less.

Some of the camping groups bring in their own bands. Loud live bands, all powered by generators, all with A Bigger Carbon Footprint Than Al Gore's House^TM. There's an impromptu Mardi Gras-style parade that circles the largest campsite every night. Guys were lined up ten deep on both sides of the road throwing beads to the ladies in the back of the pickups. One pair of girls had almost topped off the back of a Ford F-150 with donated beads. All I'm going to say about the parade is that the last time I saw anything like that was back on the farm in Mississippi. And there were baby piglets firmly attached. I'm not criticizing, I'm just sayin'....

Steve and I slept in our trucks. Comfortable enough, with great weather.

Other than the earth moving, the biggest surprise for me about the race was how big a factor luck plays in accidents, debris on the track, and other delays. If there is a huge gap between your car and the person immediately ahead of you at the time of an accident, the gap is eliminated when everyone has to line up in order behind the pace car.

During the pre-race wagering I picked a driver named Casey Mears, who drove the Cheez-It/Carquest Chevrolet. Mostly because I liked the idea of a car sponsored by "Cheese" anything, and partly because I'm fiercely partial to Cheez-Its over Cheese Nips. Mears had to start in 22nd place and finished 22nd, which is more than all the Dale Earnhardt, Jr., fans can say about their guy.

I had a great time. If you've never been, you owe it to yourself to check it out at least once. I think I'm a convert.

"Under The Banner of Heaven", Warren Jeffs, The FLDS, and The YFZ Ranch

Our fundamentalist Mormon/LDS friends have been at it again. One dorm, 52 girls.
Girls Removed From Polygamist Ranch - AOL News

If you want more information on the mindset that produced Warren Jeffs, Rulon Jeffs, the YFZ ranch, polygamy, or The Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (FLDS), or what could possess a man to keep 52 underage girls in a dormitory, I've got the book for you.

The best book I've ever read on religious fundamentalism of any kind is Jon Krakauer's "Under The Banner of Heaven". Most people know Krakauer only through "Into Thin Air" or "Into The Wild".

"Under The Banner of Heaven" tells the story of Allen Lafferty, his wife Brenda, his daughter Erica, and his brothers Ron and Dan. Semi-devout LDS members all. But Brenda began leading Allen away from the church.

So Ron and Dan, acting under orders from God, killed her. For whatever reason, they also killed Erica, the couples' infant daughter.

"Under The Banner of Heaven" gives you a capsule history of the LDS church, polygamy, and the fundamentalist split of Rulon and Warren Jeffs with the larger moderate LDS church. It's an outstanding book by an outstanding writer.

I've made my feelings known how I feel about people who hear the voice of God, especially when it relates to murder, violence, foreign invasions, and using Downs Syndrome Victims as human bombs.

But here's where you get into difficulties trying to be a "Moderate" religious voice in a largely fundamentalist world. If you're a moderate, you can be wrong. Fundamentalists, on the other hand, can't. Therefore, if a fundamentalist claims to be speaking or acting within the confines of revealed scripture or God's will, he isn't be wrong. You're not just disagreeing with him. You're arguing with the Creator.

You think the world evolved over billions of years? Sorry. 6 days. See Genesis. If you disagree with that, you're disagreeing with God.

You're for a Middle East Peace Process? Forget it. Muhammed said we should fight the infidel. Argue against that, and you're a heretic.

You believe women are the equal of men? Nope. Paul wrote otherwise. You obviously have unconfessed sin in your heart.

Want a ham sandwich? No way. Pork is forbidden, you gentile libertine.

Round earth? Can't be. The church opposed that "theory" since the Bible refers to the earth's four corners. If you have pictures that show something different, it's an illusion. You should stay in your place and stop asking questions.

You think I shouldn't be allowed to keep 52 girls in a dorm? You're wrong. See Joseph Smith. Celestial Marriage. You can look it up. If you weren't evil, you would know this already.

(Note that the police are using a Baptist Church bus to carry the girls away from the Mormon ranch. )

Addition from April 10th: CNN is now saying that authorities have discovered a wedding bed in the church, where these guys could instantly consumate their celestial marriage to underage bride #20 without a tiresome honeymoon trip.

Drew Carey, David Beckham, Reason magazine, and Immigration

I get about 5 anti-immigrant emails a day.
They're becoming tiresome.

Go back far enough in anyone's family tree, and you'll find an immigrant. This includes "Native Americans".
("Native American" is one of my least favorite terms. It's not precise. Anyone born in the U.S. is a Native American. And if you accept the currently popular Russia/Alaska landbridge theory of how our first inhabitants got here, the first person to walk across was....an immigrant. His/her descendants were native americans. Just like the children of the current illegal aliens will be native americans. Or am I missing something here? For centuries, there's been a game of musical chairs all over the world, with various groups and individuals settling down in a new place every time the music stops. I think that's an Evelyn Waugh analogy. But if your family tree is nothing but Texans as far as you can trace it, and you live in Texas, it means that....you just aren't very adventurous, are you? Should you be entitled to special treatment because you don't get out much?)

Here's The Drew Carey Project on immigration. Sponsored by Reason magazine. They're doing an extended series of these that you can find through this Reason link, or here's a link to the entire series on Youtube. Note that the segment on Medical marijuana has gotten about 28,000 hits, while the episode on my pet peeve, Eminent Domain, has only gotten about 700.

Weiner Dogs, The Second Amendment, and The Squirrel Relocator

I have a backyard full of weiner dogs.
I have a backyard full of squirrels.
They lead an Israeli/Palestinian-style symbiotic existence, with each side determined to torment but not eliminate the other. If either side disappeared, how would the enemy fill up their day?
The squirrels eat the dog food, they've eaten a hammock, and weiner dogs yipping to announce the latest squirrel outrage - well, it gets pretty annoying.

I have a pellet gun. I could safely take care of my squirrel problem in about two weeks. (I hit what I aim at.) But I can't do this inside the city limits.

Aside: I know you're not supposed to end a sentence with a preposition. But what's the proper way to say "I hit what I aim at"?
"I hit that at which I aim," sounds overly British. I'm the product of a rural Mississippi education....

Anyway, my 2nd amendment rights are being violated.

I've been meaning to post this video for several months. 50 years ago, these boys would've used pellet guns. Or even .22's.

Now they're forced to use....THE SQUIRREL RELOCATOR. Enjoy.

Things that have been piling up on me, all worthy of perusal....

Johnathan Pearce of Samizdata takes a look at the rapidly improving Cuban quality of life (now that Fidel is about to start pushing up sugar cane) and causes me to wonder how much better life would be if Castro would hurry up and go to The Worker's Paradise in the sky.

Subadei/Subdujour, who eats this Foreign Affairs/Diplomacy stuff up and has a double helping for breakfast, takes a look at Cuba and wonders why Bush doesn't do a little more to speed things along.

When Hazel at The Line Is Here hosted, posted, and lightly roasted (sorry, DWSUWF) the latest edition of my Carnival Of The Libertarians project, it attracted comments from Andrew Ian Dodge (the Dodgeblogium site, at right) and The Devil's Kitchen (ditto.) I have two other sites lined up to host through May, but I'm going to ask Mr. Dodge and Mr. Devil to host after that. If they agree and apply themselves with their usual level of effort, it will be the most darkly intense (Dodge) and hilariously profane (Devil) things you've read in a while.

Steve-O at Caravan of Dreams has a wonderful post about WWII journalist Ernie Pyle's last byline, reminding us that before we go off any military adventures we should always count the cost. And see the cost.

My friend the Moderate Baptist Bass, Dr. Ralph, provides all of us with words to live by in this short little post.

If you ever watch the British Parliament on late night TV, and wonder why it's so much more entertaining than the animated waxwork displays on C-Span, Vindico at Curious Snippets from a Cynical Optimist explains why. Their representatives don't address a TV camera, they address each other. At least I think that's what he's referring to. Either way, Vindico is entertaining when irritated.

Speaking of irritated, my fellow Mississippian Gus Van Horn gets irritated when journalists blame "reason" for terrorism.

Becky, The Girl in Short Shorts Talking About Whatever, gets irritated by victimhood in the workplace.

My boss is in China, and has confirmed what this site told me a while back. I'm banned over there.

Third Graders Plot to Kill Teacher?

Every now and then, after a really horrible day, I need to be reminded why I never used my Education Degree:

Provided by: The Associated Press
WAYCROSS, Ga. (AP) -- Police say they have questioned a group of south Georgia third-graders about a plot to kill their teacher, apparently because she had scolded one of them for standing on a chair.

The nine students at Center Elementary School are too young to be charged with a crime under Georgia law, a prosecutor said. They include girls and boys, ages 8 and 9. Authorities withheld the students' names.

At least a couple of these 3rd graders will be working for me within 10 years. I just know it.

Waycross Police Chief Tony Tanner said school officials alerted police Friday after a pupil tipped off a teacher that a girl had brought a weapon to school, Police seized a broken steak knife, handcuffs, duct tape, electrical and transparent tape, ribbons and a crystal paperweight from the students, who apparently intended to use them against the teacher, Tanner said.

Tell me that they haven't been allowed to watch a lot of CSI episodes.....

He called the plot a serious threat. "We estimate between six to nine students were involved. ...

I know a lot of teachers, and they're speculating that some parents were behind it. (Nothing is ever the kids' fault these days, and after all, one girls was actually scolded for standing in a chair.)

.... (and) we're not sure at this point in the investigation how many of the students actually knew the intent was to hurt the teacher," Tanner said.

Hint: there's a steak knife, duct tape, and handcuffs. At least one.

The parents of the students have cooperated with investigators, who aren't allowed to question the children without their parents' or guardians' consent, he said. The alleged target was a veteran educator who teaches third-grade students with a range of learning disabilities, including attention deficit disorder, delayed development and hyperactivity, friends and parents said.

There but for the grace of God....

The Clean Energy Scam - TIME

The cover story of Time magazine (see The Clean Energy Scam - TIME) reveals the startling discovery that the ethanol fuel frenzy is a scam.

(In related news, Jimmy Hoffa has disappeared, they've found the Titanic, and Princess Di was in a car wreck. And your eyes aren't going bad. That's a blurry copy of the Time cover.)

"An explosion in demand for farm-grown fuels has raised global crop prices to record highs, which is spurring a dramatic expansion of Brazilian agriculture, which is invading the Amazon at an increasingly alarming rate.
Propelled by mounting anxieties over soaring oil costs and climate change, biofuels have become the vanguard of the green-tech revolution, the trendy way for politicians and corporations to show they're serious about finding alternative sources of energy and in the process slowing global warming. The U.S. quintupled its production of ethanol--ethyl alcohol, a fuel distilled from plant matter--in the past decade, and Washington has just mandated another fivefold increase in renewable fuels over the next decade."

If you were visiting this site back in November, and demonstrated the patience to keep coming back, you already knew this. Here are a few more quotes from late-to-the-party Time magazine:

"People don't want to believe renewable fuels could be bad," says the lead author, Tim Searchinger, a Princeton scholar and former Environmental Defense attorney. "But when you realize we're tearing down rain forests that store loads of carbon to grow crops that store much less carbon, it becomes obvious."
The growing backlash against biofuels is a product of the law of unintended consequences. It may seem obvious now that when biofuels increase demand for crops, prices will rise and farms will expand into nature.

It's that damn Law of Unintended Consequences again. It should be repealed. If you're current on your Prozac, you might have the nerve to look at what Barack and The Clintons are saying, but breathe deeply:

The best place to see this is America's biofuel mecca: Iowa. Last year fewer than 2% of U.S. gas stations offered ethanol, and the country produced 7 billion gal. (26.5 billion L) of biofuel, which cost taxpayers at least $8 billion in subsidies. But on Nov. 6, at a biodiesel plant in Newton, Iowa, Hillary Rodham Clinton unveiled an eye-popping plan that would require all stations to offer ethanol by 2017 while mandating 60 billion gal. (227 billion L) by 2030. "This is the fuel for a much brighter future!" she declared. Barack Obama immediately criticized her--not for proposing such an expansive plan but for failing to support ethanol before she started trolling for votes in Iowa's caucuses.

Get it? Iowa is the first caucus state, therefore they get subsidies out the ying-yang. (A painful spot for subsidy storage, but profitable.) Still don't believe me? Read on. This is all written by Michael Grunwald, BTW. Great writer....

If biofuels are the new dotcoms, Iowa is Silicon Valley, with 53,000 jobs and $1.8 billion in income dependent on the industry. The state has so many ethanol distilleries under construction that it's poised to become a net importer of corn. That's why biofuel-pandering has become virtually mandatory for presidential contenders. John McCain was the rare candidate who vehemently opposed ethanol as an outrageous agribusiness boondoggle, which is why he skipped Iowa in 2000. But McCain learned his lesson in time for this year's caucuses. By 2006 he was calling ethanol a "vital alternative energy source."

Well, McCain tried. But can you freakin' believe that IOWA will be a net importer of CORN? That's how profitable this scam is ! ! ! Talking about hauling your coals to Newcastle. We're paying people to destroy the earth in the name of saving the earth ! ! ! I swear I'm not making this up ! ! ! Farmers are subsidizing the politicians in exchange for subsidizing the farmers, and it's all being done with a Virtuous Green Politically Correct Glow.

Ok, I'm calming down now. One of the 3 weiner dogs has hopped in my lap. My breathing is getting slower, and my heart rate is back under control.

Back to Time magazine, and further vindication of The Whited Sepulchre circular payoffs theory of subsidies. Heck, you can take out the word "ethanol" and replace it with any subsidized commodity. The logic still holds:

Members of Congress love biofuels too, not only because so many dream about future Iowa caucuses but also because so few want to offend the farm lobby, the most powerful force behind biofuels on Capitol Hill. Ethanol isn't about just Iowa or even the Midwest anymore. Plants are under construction in New York, Georgia, Oregon and Texas, and the ethanol boom's effect on prices has helped lift farm incomes to record levels nationwide.
Someone is paying to support these environmentally questionable industries: you. In December, President Bush signed a bipartisan energy bill that will dramatically increase support to the industry while mandating 36 billion gal. (136 billion L) of biofuel by 2022.

Congratulations. You've bought 36 billion gallons of this stuff, whether you wanted to or not. There's one mis-statement in the paragraph above. There is no "ethanol boom". There is only a government mandate that you purchase ethanol.

So if I could figure out this scam back in November, and Time Holy Magazine put it together in April, can Nancy Pelosi and Trent Lott be far behind?

Yeah. Probably.

David Mamet, Thomas Sowell, and Gun Ownership

Once a month, readers of this blog are invited to stand for a reading from The Gospel According To Saint Thomas.
But before we begin our scripture reading for today's services, we have a guest speaker who has come to us with a personal testimony.
Please welcome playwright and screenwriter David Mamet to the pulpit. Brother Mamet is best known as the author of "Wag The Dog", "Glengarry Glen Ross", "The Verdict", "Sexual Perversity In Chicago" (filmed as "About Last Night"), and my own favorite, "American Buffalo".

Awkwardness and throat-clearing as Brother Mamet approaches the pulpit with a copy of The Village Voice, where his conversion testimony was recently published.....

I wrote a play about politics (November, Barrymore Theater, Broadway, some seats still available)..... And as part of the "writing process," as I believe it's called, I started thinking about politics.....The argument in my play is between a president who is self-interested, corrupt, suborned, and realistic, and his leftish, lesbian, utopian-socialist speechwriter.....
The play, while being a laugh a minute, is, when it's at home, a disputation between reason and faith, or perhaps between the conservative (or tragic) view and the liberal (or perfectionist) view.

Smoke begins to rise from The Village Voice, as it can no longer contain the power of this great man's rhetoric....

The conservative president in the piece holds that people are each out to make a living, and the best way for government to facilitate that is to stay out of the way, as the inevitable abuses and failures of this system (free-market economics) are less than those of government intervention.
I took the liberal view for many decades, but I believe I have changed my mind.

The Village Voice begins to spontaneously ignite in Brother Mamet's hands. Truly a sign that he is filled with the Spirit. Fortunately, for those wanting to read the entire text, I have provided a link to Mamet's complete article, eternally preserving it for future theologians should The Village Voice burn all the original manuscripts during a fit of jealousy and Old Leftie repression. Wait !!! A smoldering but legible ember of the text is drifting down to the pulpit.....Mamet grabs it, and continues reading:

"....I began reading not only the economics of Thomas Sowell (our greatest contemporary philosopher) but Milton Friedman, Paul Johnson, and Shelby Steele, and a host of conservative writers, and found that I agreed with them: a free-market understanding of the world meshes more perfectly with my experience than that idealistic vision I called liberalism."

At this moment the congregation rises to their feet and begins whooping and hollering like they're hearing Jeremiah Wright on Ecstasy. Brother Mamet, who is accustomed to the calm and serenity of his synagogue, begins edging toward the exit. "Say it again !" the congregation shouts.

"Unhhhh....I began reading not only the economics of Thomas Sowell (our greatest contemporary philosopher)....."

All the ladies in the front row begin fainting like it's an Obama rally. They've been alone in the wilderness for so long. Could David Mamet be the one who the prophets foretold? Mamet, finding his voice, tries to say it again, this time with more confidence:

"I began reading not only the economics of Thomas Sowell (our greatest contemporary philosopher) ! ! ! !"

The congregation is validated. Vindicated. For the first time in his life, The Whited Sepulchre begins speaking in tongues.

"Thomas Sowell is our greatest contemporary philosopher ! !" Mamet screams as he runs from our chapel, probably to go write a Pulitzer Prize-winner where unattractive men sit around in repressive environments and cuss a lot.

Order is eventually restored. Stretchers carry away the ladies from the front rows, probably to Free Market convents of some sort. Now that Brother Mamet's testimony is over, let us continue with our traditional liturgy.

Please stand for the reading from The Gospel According To Saint Thomas:

Thomas Sowell, the smartest man in the world now that Milton Friedman is dead, has declared that "Gun ownership deters crime". Therefore, if you want to reduce crime, get a gun.

Thus endeth this month's reading from The Gospel According To Saint Thomas.

The man has spoken.

You may be seated.

The Line is Here ! Carnival of the Libertarians, TLIH Style

The Line is Here » Blog Archive » Carnival of the Libertarians, TLIH Style

Hazel of "The Line Is Here" is current host of "Carnival Of The Libertarians".
Go there now.
I'm tempted to advise you to not bother clicking on everyone's submissions. Just enjoy Hazel's commentary, if you're in a hurry.

To submit posts to the next Carnival, use the widget in the blogroll to your right.

The dying of the light, Earth Hour, And Why Google Has Gone Black

The dying of the light Samizdata.net is the best posting I've read about Earth Hour, where we are supposed to shut off the lights for an hour to help save the planet.
Here's Google's smarmy explanation of why they've turned their search screen black for the day. (It does nothing, it means nothing, but they want to stop the weather from changing.)

Here's Thaddeus Tremayne, writing for Samizdata:

With each passing day I become more convinced that the 'green' movement is actually a millenarian psychosis; a mental and spiritual sickness borne, perhaps, from some degree of civilisational exhaustion. Not just a belief that the end of the world is nigh, but an active desire to bring it about. And soon. Ours is not the first age to witness such pandemics of madness but, in the Middle Ages at least, there was the excuse of a near-universal poverty. In such a state of interminable plight, despair may not be the wisest response but it is at least an understandable one.

And here is one of Samizdata's serial commenters, IanB, disagreeing with the terminology, but agreeing with Tremayne:

I'm not sure what "civilisational exhaustion" is. It seems an unnecessarily convoluted explanation whatever it may be. Greenism is just the usual old crap that has always driven religious extremists- an intense desire for spiritual purity, a belief that mundane comforts distract from and obstruct that quest, a belief in a past golden age, and a profound hatred for the lesser mortals outside the cult.

(Addition from March 30th....) Just for grins, here's the Gospel of John, chapter 3, verse 19 and 20:

"This is the verdict. Light has come into the world. But men love darkness rather than light, for their deeds are evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed."